Her Shameful Secret (7 page)

“I could take you right here against this window, but I can’t be sure whose name you’ll cry out.”

Isabella flinched. She desperately wanted to retaliate. Make wild comparisons between Antonio and his brother. Call out Giovanni’s name. She wanted to hurt him so badly he would never recover.

But she wouldn’t. His torment was hers. She was still
in love with Antonio and had already caused him so much pain. She couldn’t forgive herself for that.

“Are you done with this little demonstration?” she asked brokenly as she fought back the tears. “I’m tired and I want to go to bed.
Alone
.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Bella.” Antonio slowly let go of her hands and took a step back. “What we had was good, but I’ve never been interested in my brother’s cast-offs.”

That burned. Isabella bolted away from him. Her movements were awkward and shaky as she walked across the room and grabbed her backpack. She wanted to keep walking. Out the door. Out of Antonio’s life.

Let him think the worst of her. It didn’t matter anymore. They had no future together. She had already wasted so much time trying to get him back. What they’d had was a dream, and the beauty and magic were fading every minute she tried to hold onto it.

“Leave and I’ll drag you back in here,” Antonio warned. “You are carrying the Rossi heir.”

How could he be like this? So ruthless and hard after the kiss they’d just shared? And why couldn’t she be just as unemotional?

She whirled around and glared at Antonio. His shirt was unbuttoned, his hair mussed, but he still had a commanding presence. He was in control while she felt like she was being tossed from one crashing wave after another.

“I was in love with you,” she announced bitterly.

Antonio didn’t show any sign of surprise. That rankled. He knew how she’d felt. He had always known. And it didn’t make a difference.

“I was so deeply and so foolishly in love,” she said. “It was the reason that I put my future on hold.”

“I never asked you to do that.”

“I changed the course of my life to be with you,” she said as she walked across the length of the room to the doorway, avoiding Antonio. “And right at this moment I regret it.”

His eyes glittered with anger. “You regret getting caught. You didn’t expect Gio to tell me the truth.”

“I regret
you
,” she retaliated. She wasn’t sure if it was true. Her emotions were running high. Frustration billowed through her chest. “You were the biggest mistake of my life. But don’t worry, Antonio. I learn from my mistakes and I never repeat them.”

CHAPTER SIX

M
ORNINGS
were the worst.

Isabella groaned as she sat on the bathroom floor, her bare legs sprawled on the cold linoleum. She had to get up and get dressed. She wished she could sit here until her stomach settled, but she didn’t have the luxury of time.

How was she going to get through this pregnancy? Hell, how was she going to get through this morning?

Another question slipped into her mind and she couldn’t push it away fast enough.

How was she going to be a mother?

A heavy ache settled in her chest. She was scared of going through this alone. She wasn’t ready to be a parent. A single mom. Isabella had always assumed she would be a mother one day. Far, far in the future. But in the meantime she’d had other plans. A few goals she’d wanted to accomplish. She had promised her mother.

Isabella weakly closed her eyes. If her mother were alive, she would be devastated by the news. Before Jody Williams had become ill she had done everything possible to give her daughter the opportunities she hadn’t had. Isabella remembered the litany of advice and warnings.
Finish college before you have a child … Never rely on a man … Protect yourself …

At the time Isabella had thought her mother had a bitter view of the world, but her negativity was understandable. Jody’s dreams had been cut short when she’d become a teen mother. Everyone had turned her back on her. The first one to walk away had been the father of her child.
Stay away from the rich ones
, her mother had said frequently.
They have so many choices that they don’t know how to commit
.

Isabella wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. She had been so certain that nothing could sidetrack her from her dreams. No man would stand in her way.

She had been so arrogant. So naïve. But she couldn’t dwell on that anymore. Now she needed to protect herself and her child. She would be as strong and resilient as her mother had been for her.

She slowly stood, her legs shaky and weak. Her stomach churned and she tried desperately to ignore it. Clutching the rim of the sink, Isabella turned on the faucet and rinsed her mouth out with water. She splashed her face and glanced up in the mirror.

Her hair, which had once been her glory, fell limp against her shoulders. She was pale, her eyes dull and her lips colorless. She saw the strain tightening her features. She was a mess. It would take hours to make her appearance presentable. Normal. Even longer until she felt that way.

The morning sickness was worse today, Isabella decided as she reached for a towel. Was it from the lack of sleep? The stress? Why did it have to be today, when she needed to be strong as she faced Antonio and demanded
her plane ticket? She couldn’t show any weakness around him.

“Bella?”

Panic radiated from her chest to her arms and legs when she heard the authoritative knock on her bedroom door.
No!
He couldn’t come in here. He couldn’t see her like this. Bella propelled herself forward just as Antonio entered her bedroom.

She slammed the bathroom door closed but it was already too late. He had seen her. He had stopped in mid-step at the sight of her in a T-shirt and panties. She could only hope her skimpy sleepwear had distracted him from the dark circles under her eyes and the greenish cast of her complexion.

“Why are you hiding in the bathroom?” he demanded.

“I’m not dressed,” she said.

“I’m well aware of that.” His voice was close and she knew he stood on the other side of the door. “But I’ve seen you in a lot less. Come out.”

“No.” She rested her head against the door and fought the urge to slump to the floor. Her body was punishing her for the sudden movement and the jolt of panic.

“Is this because of last night?”

“Maybe.” She took a few shallow breaths but her stomach still threatened to revolt.

“I told you, I’m not interested in my brother’s castoffs,” he taunted.

“Yes,” she said, and swallowed hard, “you really proved that last night.”

Antonio sighed and she pictured him raking his hair with his hand. “We need to meet with the doctor in an hour.”

“That isn’t necessary,” she insisted. “I’ve been to a doctor recently and everything is fine.”

“You may be okay with that but I want a second opinion. Why wouldn’t you want to visit one of Italy’s top obstetricians?”

Isabella’s shoulders sagged in defeat. When Antonio explained it like that, she really didn’t have a reason to decline. “I’ll be ready soon.”
If she was lucky
.

“You still need to eat breakfast.”

The idea made her gag, which she tried to cover up with a loud cough. “No, thanks. I’m not hungry.”

“Then eat dry toast. Or have a cappuccino.”

She grimaced as she pictured the milky drink. Oh, God. She was going to be sick again.

“Bella?” He turned the doorknob.

“Fine,” she said in a high, urgent voice. She didn’t care how it sounded. The less she argued, the faster he would leave.

She fought against the nausea, her skin going hot and cold, as she listened to Antonio’s familiar footsteps. When he closed the bedroom door she ran to the toilet and vomited.

That had been too close, she decided as she lay on the floor. If Antonio had known she had been sick he wouldn’t have left her alone. While she wouldn’t mind having someone take care of her, Antonio would have seen how weak she felt. She couldn’t allow that.

She was no longer his lover and was now a hindrance. An inconvenient obstacle. She was the reason he wouldn’t inherit what was rightfully his. Isabella couldn’t forget that. If she showed a chink in her armor, if she revealed any vulnerability, Antonio would take advantage. It was his nature.

She had to get out of here.

And I will once I’ve visited the doctor
, Isabella thought as she turned on the shower. She would demand a plane ticket and deal with any paperwork through the lawyers. She couldn’t be around Antonio anymore. Especially after last night. Because if he didn’t suspect already Antonio would soon realize that
he
was her only weakness. And he would use that information ruthlessly to get what he wanted.

Weak and shaky, it took her much longer to get ready than she’d anticipated. She pulled her damp hair back in a tight ponytail and dressed simply in a gray T-shirt, jeans and her scuffed-up flats. Looking in the mirror, she wondered how she’d ever gained Antonio’s attention. She wasn’t beautiful or sexy. There was nothing special about how she looked. She had nothing to offer someone as rich and worldly as Antonio.

Maybe he’d slept with her because she was different from the women he normally had in his life. She was earthy compared to those glamorous creatures. Isabella grabbed her backpack and strode across the bedroom. Or maybe it was because she’d made it known that she found him desirable. That was more likely. Isabella swung open the door and jumped back when she saw Antonio standing in front of her.

“Here—eat this.” He offered a piece of dry toast.

Isabella reared her head back. The bread did nothing to whet her appetite. “I was heading for the dining room.”

“Where you would have found an excuse not to eat breakfast,” he predicted. “I know you don’t believe me, but you will feel better after you’ve eaten.”

Once she would have found comfort in the fact that
Antonio knew her so well. Now it made her feel vulnerable. She snatched the toast from his hand, deciding she needed to pick her battles. She didn’t want to argue with him when she needed to get her plane ticket.

She looked at the toast with hesitation and then glanced up at Antonio when she noticed he wasn’t walking away. “Are you just going to stand there and watch me eat?”

“It’s the only way I’ll know you’ve been fed.”

Isabella frowned. Why did he care? “I can take care of myself.”

“I’ve already caught you once when you fainted,” he reminded her as he crossed his arms as if ready for battle. “I don’t want to make it a habit.”

“It won’t be,” she said as she leaned against the wall and nibbled on the toast. She hated being an inconvenience. Or, worse, an obligation. She always toughed it out on her own, took care of her problems alone, and promptly repaid any favor or debt. She didn’t accept charity and she wasn’t going to start now.

“Can you give me the address of the doctor’s office?” she asked Antonio, avoiding his intent gaze as she took another bite of toast.

“No need. I’m coming with you.”

She almost choked on the bread. “Why? It’s a simple examination and a blood test. You don’t need to be there.”

“Why do you hate the idea so much?” he asked, and his gaze narrowed on her face. “Do you have something to hide?”

“No, but I don’t need to be watched like a hawk.” She wanted to handle this alone. Antonio would immediately
take over and she knew she would lose the power struggle.

“We’ll need to do a DNA test to prove paternity,” he explained.

“I’ll sign a release form and the lab will send you the results,” she promised as she finished the last of the toast. “Or are you afraid I might tamper with the procedure?”

“Are you always this suspicious when someone tries to help you?” he asked as he arched an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Because no one offered help unless there was an agenda. The last time she’d accepted assistance she had become a pawn in Giovanni’s games.

Antonio took a step forward. “Then you need to work on that, because from now on I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”

She should take that as a threat, but she felt her body soften and warm at the promise. “We both know that’s the last thing you want to do,” she muttered.

“You are carrying the Rossi heir.” He gestured at her stomach. “This is my concern as much as yours.”

Isabella automatically wrapped her arms around her belly. “You can’t possibly want to have anything to do with me or my child. You think this baby is proof that I cheated on you.”

“I wouldn’t blame a child for his parents’ sins.”

Isabella stilled as Antonio’s words stung. She took a deep breath. “I’m not willing to test that out.”

Antonio flattened his hands against the wall as a dark, unpredictable energy swirled around him. “Do you think that I’m the kind of man who would mistreat a child?” he asked in a low, biting tone.

Her instincts said no. She knew Antonio would use
all his power and resources to protect a child. But this was Giovanni’s baby. She didn’t know much about the history between the brothers, but she knew it was filled with pain and betrayal. Could Antonio separate his feelings for Giovanni from the feelings he had for the baby?

“I don’t know,” she admitted, tilting her head up to meet his angry gaze. “I’ve never seen you around kids.”

“I haven’t seen
you
around children, either,” he said as he leaned in, “but I know enough about you to know that you would be a good mother. I don’t need a blood test to know that this child is family.”

Family
. She really wanted her child to grow up with a sense of belonging and surrounded by unconditional love. Her mother had given her those things, but there had been times when she had wanted acceptance from the family that had shunned her. There had been times when Isabella had wondered what was wrong with her that her relatives should withhold their love and approval.

“I take care of my family,” Antonio said, his voice strong and clear, “and I will take care of this child.”