Her Unexpected Affair (The Robinsons) (31 page)

Finally she’d spoken up for herself. It felt awful to face such anger. Never had she made her parents so angry. Usually Papa fawned over her, praising her beauty and her intelligence. Oh how differently tonight had ended! He’d shown a side she’d never seen before and she didn’t like it. Not one bit.

But what had she expected? That they would coo and soothe? Try to talk her into rethinking her decision? Instead, it seemed she’d tossed a bomb between her parents, dividing them as she’d never seen before. Sure, Mother had yelled at Papa in frustration before, but Meilin had never seen her retreat with slammed doors.

It was all too much to deal with while her mind was numb with hurt and shock. She needed to end the engagement, but she hadn’t expected to cause problems between her parents. If their reaction were anything to go by, then how would Shan’s parents take the news? How would he? Could marriage contracts be defended in court? Engagements were broken all the time, but then again, few were ever accompanied by legal contracts other than pre-nuptial agreements, which kicked in when divorce was on the table.

What else was in the contract she’d skimmed?

Wasn’t their contract essentially a pre-nuptial? She tried to recall the details, but much beyond the fact she had to be married to him ten years before expecting any sort of compensation in a divorce, she hadn’t taken much note. To her it had been a matter of marry once and for all time. She hadn’t gone into the marriage expecting much more than financial stability. She hadn’t once given thought to California property laws or how she might benefit in a divorce. Marriage was a forever deal in her mind. She’d been prepared to meet her end of the deal—provide a serene home, give birth to a minimum of two children, be a hostess and help to her husband in his business and social obligations. The unwritten agreement was that eventually they would fall in love with each other and love would add strength to their union.

The flaw in her thinking was now crystal clear. Find love first. Without love, marriage would be a cold and lonely prospect. Especially if she knew her husband felt free to find a mistress to see to his physical and emotional needs, and expected her to find a lover to do the same for her, as long as no one knew.

No. She could not tolerate that kind of life. Better to remain single than to go knowingly into a marriage that had little hope of being anything more than lukewarm with respect and little affection. If she found herself alone in her old age, she wanted memories of love and laughter to comfort her, even if the love and laughter came from her nieces, nephews, and friends.

Love and laughter such as one young Englishman could give her. One with golden hair and twinkling blue eyes filled with affection and teasing. A shiver of longing to be in his arms again eased the tension in her muscles. Memories of making love, of losing and finding herself right here in this bed, soothed the last of her tremors. A whisper of his scent clinging to her pillow melted the icy angst from around her heart. If his memory could affect her this way, what would seeing him, loving him, snuggling with him every day do for her well-being?

Did this mean she loved him? Was in love with him? She tried to look into the future and imagine her life without him. But his laughing eyes kept intruding, warming her, making her smile.

Maybe she was in love. Truly, deeply, in love. For the first time. A weight lifted from her heart and she wanted to jump up and sing. A thought that made her smile to herself.

Well. Seemed her decision was made.

Meilin sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. If making the decision was half the battle, then why did she still have one tremor of fear?

Pictures of Shan’s angry face flashed before her. She sighed and closed her eyes, rocking back and forth. Confrontation wasn’t something she’d been raised to handle. Tonight had been the first time she’d seen anything resembling true trouble between her parents. If they’d had strong disagreements, they’d carefully kept the children shielded from the discord. Father’s word, mostly, was law, her mother often demurring with down cast eyes before witnesses.

Was that what she wanted for herself? To be second to a man? Funny how she’d never really taken the time to think about what she wanted out of a relationship. Or even if she really wanted one in the first place.

Although conflict rarely entered her world, she usually didn’t run from her problems. With that in mind, she faced the future now. First, she considered her life as it was. Alone, solely dependent on her talents and brains. Making her way in the world without relying on anyone more than she had to. Employees she paid. For fun she had friends. Friends who one by one were taking up the shroud of married life, tying themselves to a man, and happily taking on the burden of children. Their lives now left little time for her or other friends not involved with the schools their children attended or the social clubs their husbands belonged to. A life very much like the one she’d take on by marrying Shan.

It sounded like a busy way to live, but it could be as lonely as her current single life. Without the satisfaction of knowing she could take care of herself, or knowing her partner had her back as well as her heart, just as she’d have his. Is that what made all the difference?

Had her friends really traded independence for a life of security? Dependent on a man who might one day decide he wanted someone younger? A man who might die in an accident or have a heart attack? What would become of her friends then if their husbands didn’t leave behind enough life insurance or savings? It didn’t sound very secure to her, but did love make the risk acceptable?

But she had options. Drew had said she wouldn’t have to give up her career to be with him. Just redirect it a little. He was young enough and focused enough on his career that children probably hadn’t crossed his mind. And as the sole male heir to his father’s business, someday children would become a priority. Would she be ready for children then? Would she be too old? Would it even matter now his sister was in the picture? If she married and had children, it was possible Drew would be relieved of providing the next generation.

And yet, for the first time in her life, she felt empty at the thought of never holding her own child. Drew’s child. What a time for her biological clock to kick in!

Overwhelmed by the questions, she dropped her face into her hands. The future was so uncertain. To marry or not?

Marriage to Shan was out. Definitely.

Marriage to Drew… Well, that thought wasn’t even on the table, couldn’t be. Not until she’d dealt with calling off her engagement to Shan and all that entailed.

Although it was after nine, she reached for her phone to call the lawyer her father had used for the marriage contract. Another distant cousin and one who wouldn’t mind the late call. No time like the present to set things in motion.

After a very long, very hellish day, Meilin dragged herself up the stairs to her apartment. Never had those three flights felt so endless. Never had she climbed them with her heart so heavy.

A cloth bag containing a few groceries bumped against her leg with each step. Just a little salad and some basics to see her through dinner tonight and breakfast for a couple days.

She reached the top of the steps and leaned against the wall for a minute. Enough to give her the strength to walk into her apartment before she collapsed completely. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. All levels had been hit hard today. Hell, every day for the week plus a few days. And she was no closer to finding a good to solution to even one of her problems, numerous as they were.

On a deep breath, she straightened. Standing out here wasn’t going to fix a single one of them, either.

At her door, the bag slipped off her arm and hit the floor with a loud, cringe-worthy thunk. It was after nine and Edna would be asleep. Making noise in the hallway was rude enough, but something so loud?

She managed to get her key slipped into the first lock when her neighbor’s door opened behind her.

“Meilin, honey. Everything okay?”

Great, now she’d disturbed the older woman who needed her sleep. The door was solid against her forehead when she let her head drop against it.

“Meilin?”

“No,” she whispered. “Everything’s not all right. Nothing’s even remotely okay.”

Two gnarled hands grabbed her shoulders from behind, urged her to turn around, and she found herself hugged to the thin, but far from weak, person of Edna.

The kindness of the gesture was too much. Meilin burst into tears. Being rocked by a woman more than twice her age and several inches shorter was immensely comforting, almost the same as when she’d been a small child and her great grandmother had cuddled her after kissing away whatever small trauma had happened just then.

“Come on, honey. This needs some tea.”

Meilin let Edna tug her toward her apartment’s open door, then sat when she pushed Meilin over to a sofa. A tissue box landed in Meilin’s lap next. She grabbed several and bent to bury her face in them. Edna’s slight form sat next to her. It didn’t take much encouragement for Meilin to lean on the smaller woman and let her bony arms surround her. Dear, dear Edna. The thought of leaving her behind someday made Meilin cry harder.

At last, long minutes later, the tears slowly dried. When she could breathe without gasping and hiccupping, she sat up slowly. Edna kept a hand on her arm, gently patting.

“There now. You collect yourself and I’ll make some tea.” The elder woman rose, then made her way into the kitchen. “There are clean washcloths in the bathroom if you want some cold water on those eyes.”

By the time Meilin came out, Edna had a tray on the coffee table with her prized vintage Chinese yixing teapot and a pair of chipped white ceramic mugs.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Meilin said.

“Nonsense. My pleasure.” Edna settled on the sofa and pointed to the spot next to her. “But I will let you pour.”

The teapot, one Meilin had found for Edna in an antiques market, was hot to the touch and fragrant from years of brewing a fine oolong that they both preferred. It made her smile to see it being enjoyed.

Once they both had cups and sat sipping, Edna said, “Want to talk about it?”

“Oh you don’t want to hear my problems. It’s bad enough I’m here past your bedtime.” By nine every night Edna folded up like a morning glory waiting for the next day’s sun.

“I was awake. Not even in my nightgown yet.”

True, Edna still wore one of the cashmere sweater and wool skirt sets she preferred.

“Sure you want to hear all this? It’s very dramatic. Melodramatic, even.”

“Make my night.” Edna grinned and raised her cup for a sip.

Meilin took her own sip, then sighed. “You know I became engaged.”

“Yes. Handsome man, but too old for you. I’m surprised you accepted him, but assumed you knew what you were doing.”

Meilin laughed. Her first in many days. “No, I didn’t know what I was getting into.” As briefly as she could, she brought Edna up to date as far as Shan’s accident.

“I’d decided I didn’t want to marry him,” she explained.

“And that’s where the blond hunk comes in?” There was hope in Edna’s question and face.

“No. Yes. Maybe. He’s not really a part of the central drama. That all revolves around Shan and my parents.”

Edna nodded. A signal to continue.

“Well, I finally told my parents who were not pleased. Especially my father. Mother walked out leaving us to finish the…discussion.”

Edna snorted. “I imagine it was more of a fight then.”

“Mostly it was Papa yelling at me. He forbade me to break off the engagement.”

“Then what happened?”

“After I got home, I was reaching for the phone to call my lawyer when my brother called. Not long after I left their house, Papa had an…episode. That’s what they’re calling it. A small-ish heart attack.” God, would the feelings of guilt never go away? She’d brought the attack on. Although Mother never said the words, the truth was there between them. It hovered in the hospital room each time she went to visit her father. A huge, flaming, hot pink elephant sitting right there.

“Silly man for not staying on top of his health. He brought it on himself,” Edna declared firmly.

“Yeah, well, I was the detonator.”

“Not your fault, honey. But keep going. That’s bad enough in itself, but there’s more going on.”

“Yes.” She sipped some more tea and let it warm her inside. “Turns out there was more to the engagement agreement than they’d told me. Once I marry Shan, he’ll assume all the expenses for my father’s care and retirement. That way he can leave all the assets for my brother to take over the family businesses. They do well, but not well enough to fund my parents’ retirement, especially with my father’s health. This heart attack will put a huge burden on the group insurance.” Closing her eyes, she slumped against the nubby fabric of the mid-century sofa.

“So, the wedding is still on?” Edna’s voice rose. “What about you? You’ll sacrifice a relationship with a hot young Brit for your father?”

“There’s no other way, Edna. I can’t afford to take on their medical bills, neither can my brother. Mom can’t get a job to make enough. Her job is now to nurse our father. She needs to be at his side to take care of him. While this episode wasn’t huge, it did enough damage that Papa will need constant care and watching over. No more chocolate cherry cheesecakes for him.”

“But you don’t love Shan. In fact, I sense you don’t even like him. Possibly might even despise him. If not now, in a few years for sure. Surely they don’t think it’s right to marry him under those circumstances?”

“They do.”

“But…why?”

The distress on Edna’s face was the motivator to set down their cups so Meilin could hold her hands. “Because in China, when you injure another person, it becomes your responsibility to care for that person for the rest of their life. Although my parents were born American, they were raised to be as Chinese as possible. They follow the old traditions as much as modern life allows and raised me to do the same. Because my father’s episode was brought on by my wish to dissolve the engagement, it is therefore my fault he’s in the hospital, and the easiest path is to marry Shan and let him pay for everything. The hospital, the nursing home or home health assistant, therapy, and medications.”