Here For You (5 page)

“What the fuck!” I yelled. She scared the living shit out me! But, she was alive and unharmed. I placed my hand over my heart as she looked at me with sleepy eyes. She was sleeping?

Rubbing her eyes she squinted toward me. “James?” I nodded. “What are you doing here?” she asked. Sometimes I didn’t understand the questions that would come out of her mouth. She was the one in the middle of a party, sitting in a truck, fast asleep with the door open. I grabbed her legs and shoved her into the truck to make room for myself. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. I slid into the car and closed the door, because that was what normal people did. Not hanging out of it with the door wide open like she had just been doing.

“I could ask you the same thing,” I countered. Reaching for the iPod she had plugged into the car, I started going through her playlist. I wanted to see if she still had the playlist I’d made her. Bingo.

James’ Playlist.

I went through the list and clicked ‘My December’ by Linkin Park.

“I was trying to sleep, in case you didn’t notice.” She gave me a little attitude, closing her eyes.

How long had she been sleeping out here anyway? It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes. “Yeah, well last time I saw you, you were living it up with Grey, wrapped around his waist like he was a damn Christmas tree.” I didn’t mean for it to come out the way that it did. I was just playing the scene in my head and reacted.

“Yeah, well the last time I saw you…” She tensed her jaw. This wasn’t good. “…You were coming in that slut’s mouth.”

Okay, I didn’t expect her to say it like that. I leaned back on the car bench and replied, “Nobody told you to spy on me.” It was the only thing I could say. I knew she wasn’t spying on me, but I just had to say it to lighten up the mood.

She straightened up, putting her legs down. “Spying on you?” She snorted. “Whatever, James.”

I was going to make a shitty comment but she didn’t look as though she would be up for it. I hadn’t seen her in two months but this was how it was whenever I came back, the bickering back and forth. I hated when I did stupid shit around her. The thing was, I knew she wasn’t cool with how I behaved, but what was I supposed to do?

I ran my hands through my hair before looking at her and finding her staring out of the window, up at the sky.

“I was joking, Becca.” I started to slide closer to her, invading her space as she called it. But she remained quiet, clearly not wanting to talk about it. My best bet was to change the subject. I put my arm around her and pulled her close to me. She tried to resist but I was stronger than her. “My mom said for you to come over for brunch tomorrow,” I offered. She raised her eyebrows. I didn’t know what she was surprised about so I continued. “You know she won’t take no for an answer,” I pushed, stating the truth. My mother was head over heels for Becca. She wished I could bring a girl like her home instead of my usual ‘bimbos,’ as she liked to call them. My mother was convinced that Becca and I were meant to be together, but once you mix being friends with sex it screwed everything up. I couldn’t say I was fully satisfied with what we had, but it worked.

She shrugged. “Yeah sure, I guess.”

I wasn’t not going to win this. Moving my hand from her shoulder, I took the keys from the ignition, turning the music off.

“What are you doing?” she asked me, reaching for the keys.

“The fireworks are going to start soon,” I explained. “Come on.” I stretched my hand out so she could grab it. I hoped she’d grab it. I could see the wheels turn in her head as she decided whether to come with me or not. When she finally reached for my hand she stumbled forward a little. “Are you drunk?” I asked, giving her my best smirk.

She turned beet red. I loved when I could do that to her. Sometimes she tried to hide it, but this time it was on full display and I was eating that shit up. “Shut up, James.”

“Here, let me help you,” I told her. Getting out of the truck first, I grabbed her by her legs and dragged her to me. She gave a little yelp and started to laugh. Two seconds after our usual bickering it was always as though it had never happened. We’d just go back to joking around. I mean, she was a pain in my ass but after all those years of friendship it was always something different with her.

As her feet came close to the door I grabbed her by the bare waist. There was a weird feeling that came over me when I touched her ivory, smooth skin. She had on one of those shirts that were cut off a little above the belly button, but from dragging her through the car seat it had rode up and was now bunched in my hands.

We froze.

Her gaze in mine. I mean, sure we played all the time but this was different. There was something about
that moment
that was different. The intimacy. I saw the rise and fall of her chest pick up and I could only wonder if she noticed my breath quicken as well.

My body had a mind of its own as my hand slowly climbed up her waist to her ribs, over the side of her breast, and up to her neck until I caressed her cheek. I watched as her eyes slightly shuttered at my touch.

“James?” she questioned. Believe me, I was questioning it too. I inched closer to feel her breath against my lips. It was like we were one at that moment. Did I want to kiss her?
Maybe
. This feeling toward her was something I thought had gone away when I moved away. But she was my best friend, and just like that, something had me pulling away from her. The hands that were gripping my biceps dropped involuntarily.
 

“Becca?”

I heard a voice in the distance. The trance I had been in with her broke. Her face had confusion written all over it. Surely that wasn’t because of me and what I was about to do? I didn’t know why I even bothered to get that close. Running my hands through my hair, I looked at her one more time before walking away. As I made my way to the party, I passed Grey. Luckily he came when he did. What would have happened if he saw the way Becca and I had been holding each other? It didn’t matter how natural it felt, how effortless it was to hold her like that. I couldn’t do that again. Becca was my best friend. I was sure I’d just gotten caught up in those few weak seconds, with a beautiful woman in front of me. Yeah, that’s what happened.
Right?

She wasn't mine.

It was the liquor. You could always blame the liquor when shit like that happened. What the fuck? Grey was her boyfriend. Not me.

Passing Paul, I sat down next to the chick that’d been down on her knees just twenty minutes earlier. She was sitting with another chick that was sexy as hell. I needed a chick to shove my tongue down, something to take my mind off of the shit that had almost gone down. A means to fill a void, if you want to call it that, because these chicks meant nothing to me. Damn it! I sounded like an asshole.

“I’m such an asshole,” I accidentally said out loud. I didn’t mean for it to filter out but from the giggling around me I knew they’d heard.

Looking toward Paul, I saw him nodding his head in agreement, of course he would. I threw my empty cup at him. He tried to give me the serious face but failed miserably as he laughed, spitting some of his beer from his mouth. I joined him in his laughing hiccups. So much for no more drinking.

Turning my head around, I saw that Grey and Becca were making their way toward the party. That’s when I turned to one of the chicks and shoved my tongue in her mouth. She placed her hands on my thighs, going higher until she was on my bulge, moving up and down over my jeans. Usually, I wasn’t up for a public show, but I didn’t care at that moment. Breaking apart from the kiss, I see the girl that was on her knees earlier just sitting there watching us as she ran her tongue along her lower lip.

When I turned to Paul he winked and handed me a shot, which I took. Looking back at the girls, they were both licking their lips. Oh, fuck me. I licked my own lips for what was to come. In response they both leaned toward me, each holding one of my shoulders before sticking their tongues out and running them over my lips.

I willingly joined the party they had started for me. All three of our tongues were swirling in heat and saliva. I left my eyes open as I saw both of the girls run their tongues over each other then back toward mine. Everyone was going to see my hard-on any minute now. All of our lips were touching, mouths open, their tongues fighting to get into my mouth. One of their hands was pretty much jerking me off, making me hiss. Before I combusted in my pants I stopped the party, causing them to pout as they cleared the saliva that was visible on their lips. Damn it, I’m such a pussy. Two beautiful women in front of me and I stopped. I stopped because it didn’t feel half as good as what it felt like a few minutes ago with Becca, and our lips never even touched.

Chapter - 4

Becca

Doing what I did every time James was in town, I went over to his mom’s house for brunch. Since we’d known each other for a while and I was usually always at his mom’s house to help her out, it was as if I was her daughter. I’m pretty sure I saw her more than James did. Samantha was amazing, and she did a great job raising James on her own. His father had left when he was younger, leaving his mother to take on the role of both parents. I think that’s one of the things that bonded James and I over the years; being raised by alone parent.

His younger years were difficult. Due to his fighting he was expelled a lot from different schools before we met. He was always an angry person, and even though I could still see it trying to come out, he had gotten much better. His mom said it was because of me. That’s a huge role to play in someone’s life, but truth be told he was my reason for peace as well. I mean, yes he did get into a few fights at school and he did get suspended, but never to the point of being expelled. He was two grades higher than me, but whenever I could I tried to always be next to him to calm him down. I think my presence helped somewhat, or I’d like to think so at least. I was pretty sure that his sleeping around helped too. The whole ‘relieving stress’ thing.

Between going back to school and working double shifts, Samantha somehow managed to afford this cute little house. It was so homey, and I loved everything about it. Thank God she didn’t have to work like that anymore.

“So, any acceptance letters yet, sweetie?” Samantha asked. She had been asking me this question every time I saw her. Although I’d told her and my dad that I’d applied to various colleges, I actually hadn’t submitted a single application.

After eating the eggs on my plate I answered, “No, nothing yet,” which was the truth. I thought about lying but I hated to lie, especially to her.

She made her way to the picnic table outside. James was sitting next to me, eating. I swore I didn’t understand how he could eat so much and stay in perfect shape. Paul was next to him, hammering down his food like a damn caveman. And I thought James was bad. This guy was a monster beast.

Placing more pancakes on the table, Samantha said, “Well, time is running out soon, lady.” She looked toward Paul. “Chew your food, boy.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” he tried saying with a full mouth.

I couldn’t help but giggle, shaking my head. “I know, I’m sure I’ll figure something out.” I didn’t want to look at her because maybe she would be disappointed in me. Not something I could handle. I guess with her being the closest thing I had to a mother meant that I didn’t want to let her down.

Which I felt like I was doing.

She sat down at the table. “And speaking of something to figure out. James…” He looked up to her with food in his mouth. “Your dad said he has been trying to call you but all he gets is your voicemail.”

His dad had been trying to call him? Why didn’t he say anything to me?

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “That’s good, right?”

For as long as we had been friends, James wanted a real answer as to why his dad left. How could he leave his son and wife behind, not lifting a finger to help, leaving James and his mom to bring home the bacon? James would work odd jobs while his mother worked doubles. It’s putting it lightly if I said that James hated him.

But at the sound of my words he stared at me, scrunching his eyebrows together. “Good? Really, Becca?” he bit.

I guess not.

“James, just talk to him once,” his mother begged.

“The answer is no and I’m not talking about it anymore,” he argued and that was that. We didn’t discuss it for the rest of brunch. Things were on edge after that tense discussion. I wanted to talk to him about it but I didn’t want to upset him further, so I finished my food, kissed Samantha on the cheek, and hugged James and Paul before leaving for work.

Whenever it was time for James to leave I was always emotional, although I never cried in front of him. Or at least, I tried not to. I think if I had done that he would feel horrible about leaving this town, about leaving me. I understood why he left; he needed a new change from what he knew, from what had always been around him.

I wasn’t complaining though. That was how it always was and always would be, but when James was here at least I had someone else to talk to and understood me. My dad didn’t want to listen about my stupid crap, although he was still the first person I’d go to about boys. He didn’t seem to mind listening to me but sometimes I guess I wished my mother was around for those talks. I tried to go to James once and he wanted to kill the guy. That’s why I was lucky to have Emma in my life as well. But what would happen when she leaves after she graduates?

James does give the best, biggest hugs ever. That was our thing, always. Whenever we saw each other, or left each other, we would give one another a bear hug. His were always so much stronger than mine, but I liked to believe mine meant more.

*

“Earth to Becca, are you listening to me?” Emma’s squeaky voice interrupted my thoughts. We were at Starbucks, both of us studying for one of our exams, but she’d invited me here because she had an announcement to make. So I agreed. I had a date with Grey later so being here gave me time to study
and
hear her announcement. I just hoped it wasn’t something like “I’m pregnant” because I’d have flipped my shit. I mean, if she were pregnant that would mean that she’d cheated on Richard. “Are you daydreaming, woman?” she asked.

I took a sip of my cappuccino – it was the only thing I’d buy in this place. Too overpriced for me. “I’m not daydreaming, dumbass, I was just thinking.”

She waved her hand to dismiss my comment. “Yeah, whatever. Who were you daydreaming about, Grey or James?” she said, batting her lashes.

I wasn’t even going to bother answering her question, but I did, because the way she was looking at me was driving me nuts. “None! I was thinking about these exams I have to do,” I lied, pointing toward the books and papers on the table.

“Yeah, right.” I knew she wouldn’t take my answer but she didn’t need to know my every thought. Besides, I was thinking about these exams, a little. I mean, when I was done I’d only have a certificate in the medical filing field. Woohoo. Something fun.

NOT.

But there was nothing to really do in this town. I mean, the only reason I was finishing school, or even considering it, was because of my father. Education was a big thing for him. For me, not so much. So I just really wanted to make him proud when I walked down the aisle for my certificate, even if it wasn’t one of those big deal master degrees.

As I flipped through the pages of my book Emma grabbed my hand, almost knocking my cappuccino to the floor. “What the hell, Emma?” I cried. I grabbed a napkin to clean the slight spill on my fingers.

“Here,” she said a little too excited as she handed me an envelope.

I look at her with my most confused face before grabbing the envelope. As I inspected it I could see it was blank, but as I lifted it above my head toward the light there was paper inside.

“Would you stop and just open it,” she commanded, almost jumping out of her seat. I had to hurry before she flipped
her
shit. I slid my finger to gently open the envelope, since I didn’t know if she wanted it back once I saw whatever it was she wanted me to see. There was a single, folded white paper in there that I pulled out. Before I opened it I looked at her and she was beaming. I mean, her smile could light up a damn stadium. I was still praying it wasn’t a pregnancy test. I slowly opened the letter to see the writing:

Dear Emma,

Congratulations, you have been conditionally accepted into the Early Childhood Care & Education program at the…

I immediately looked up to her with a smile. To be honest I was a little lost. Here I was trying to study for one of my exams and she’d gotten accepted into the early childhood program at the school of her choosing. She’d told me to come here so that she could let me know that she’d been accepted? She was leaving. Another person in my life that was leaving me. I should have been happy for her, right? So why was I so upset?
 There, in my hand, was the paper letting me know that she was no longer going to be around this time next year, that she had bigger, better things planned for her future. I swore, I thought about all that in about two seconds flat, because when I looked back at her she seemed a bit confused at my reaction. I placed the letter on the table and stood up.

“Congratulations, Emma!” I screamed so loud, I knew all of Starbucks could hear me. “My best friend here just got accepted to a university!” I announced. Everybody in the place started to clap for her. In my normal state of mind I would’ve been so afraid to do that, but her confused look made me want to. I didn’t want her to know that I was lonely. This shouldn’t have been about me. This was about her. I gave her a huge hug and a kiss right on the forehead, telling her, “I’m so happy for you, babes.”

She returned my hug, nice and tight. “Thank you, Becca.”

I finally sat down to breathe, processing what it was that I had just done. “You deserve it, Emma.”

“Thank you, thank you! But enough about me, I’m blushing too hard,” she said, touching her red cheeks. She had a wonderful glow to her. “Aren’t you going on a date tonight?” she asked, rolling her eyes. Leave it to her to change the subject.

But she was correct. Grey had set up a date for the both of us tonight. With my school and work and his job it’d been a little hard for us to get together and spend some time alone lately. Time alone with Grey was perfect time.

“Why do you say it like that?” I asked, already knowing the answer to that question.

“Ugh, I can’t stand his boring ass. I don’t know why you’re still with him.” Emma had a big problem with Grey. He was boring, apparently. She was so lucky she was my friend. “You know how I feel about him,” she continued. “Now, James I’ll take any day.” She lightly bit her pointing finger. Horn dog.

“Seriously, Emma, we are
not
going there,” I scolded her. Whenever we had a conversation about Grey she always had to involve James in it. She would swear on her life that James and I were meant to be together because people can’t be close like us with nothing happening.

She took a small sip of her nasty ass ice coffee. Why do people put ice in their coffee? It’s supposed to be hot.
Yuck!
“You know it’s the truth,” she mumbled.

I just nodded my head so she would drop it, but then I heard my phone ring. Grey’s ringtone, which was some stupid song he’d paid for and programmed onto my phone. It was a weird country song and I hated when it played because it was totally not my taste, but he liked it so whatever.

“Don’t answer that, Becca,” Emma warned me. Have I mentioned how much she can’t stand Grey?

“Whatever,” I mouthed before answering the phone. “Hey, Grey.”

I couldn’t help but smile when I heard him. “Hey, baby. What are you doing?” he asked me, but his voice sounded a little…off.

“I’m just here at Starbucks with Emma, waiting for later. I did tell you I took the day off right?” I looked toward Emma and she had her finger in her mouth as though she was going to puke. I placed the phone on my shoulder so he can’t hear me say, “Would you stop!” I lightly tapped her shoulder and laughed.

“Yes you told me, but that’s what I want to talk to you about,” Grey said. The smile dropped from my face, making Emma lean into me. I didn’t like where this was going. “I have a huge thing at work due tomorrow. It’s a pretty big case for me, so I need to go over all the information they just planted on my desk.”

“That’s it?” I fake laughed. My heart sank a little. For Grey, his career as an attorney was his life. It’s what he dedicated his life to and he’d gotten to the top after only being there for over a year. For only being twenty-six, he had accomplished so much in so little time. Granted, he got help from his father, but nonetheless, he was there and doing what he wanted to do.

I still didn’t know what I wanted in life, let alone what I wanted to be when I grew up and I was getting ready to turn twenty-two.

“Well…” he continued. Shit, I spoke too soon, here comes the bad news. “I have to cancel on our date for tonight. I know we had this planned for a while but this just came up out of the blue. And everything has to be reviewed and ready by tomorrow.”

I didn’t know what to say. Should I have said that I bought a brand new, blue, cute dress with black shoes? Should I scream and tell him what a fucking jackass he was? Make him feel bad…

Nope, I was an idiot. I looked at Emma before I spoke. “It’s okay. I understand this is very important for you. We can always do it another time.” Emma’s jaw dropped open.

“Sweetie pie, you’re the best. I knew you would understand.” I could tell he was smiling from the other end. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later, baby. Thank you so much.”

“Bye and good luck.” I ended the call and threw my phone into my bag.