Here She Rules: The Chronicles of Erla: Book 1 (49 page)

Outside of the Great Hall, a woman stood—supported by the stone wall. She was ghastly white and shaking. Her world had been snatched out from under her by the conversation she had just overheard. Fara inhaled deeply and squared her shoulders before walking into the room now occupied only by the Destian King.
 

Darien looked up sharply when she entered, and by her stricken look and tear-stained face, he knew that she had heard. He met her eyes in silence as she approached.

“Is it true? What I heard you say . . . Is it true, My Lord?” she asked, staring at him beseechingly.

“Yes, Lady. It is true,” he replied simply.

“Why? Why would Nall do this? If he knew me, why did he not just tell me?” Tears began to fall again.
 

Darien stared at her, bemused. The woman before him was so contrary to the woman he knew so well that it was almost as if another person inhabited the same flesh.
 

She looked up and caught his eyes.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she sniffled, wiping at her face with a handkerchief she had pulled from her dress pocket.

“I have never seen you cry before,” he said.

“Do we know each other well then, My Lord?” she asked, her breath hitching.

“Very well, Lady. Intimately so in fact.” His eyes flickered with the memory, and Fara’s face burned.
 

She turned from him and walked to the fireplace. She rested her forehead against the mantle in the same way Nall had done only moments ago.

“My name is Cassandra? Is that right?” She glanced up at the handsome warrior King, and he nodded. “Tell me who I am, Sir. I would like to know the truth.”

“You are Cassandra, Commander of Erla’s Army and leader of Queen Nera’s Personal Guard. You are the greatest warrior Erla has ever seen, and you are sorely missed by your people and your Queen.” She turned to face him as he spoke, and she read the truth in his face.

“The woman I am now embroiders cloaks for the man she loves. She does not fight wars or protect Queens, I feel as if you are talking about someone else. Oh God, I wish I could remember!” She wiped her eyes again. “Why would the Prince of Serlenn not tell me of my true identity? What could he have hoped to gain from this charade?” Her eyes burned into his, anger overcoming her tears. Darien sucked in a breath; she was, as always, magnificent in her anger.

“He hoped to gain
you
. Prince Nall has been in love with you from the start. I believe you did harbor feelings for him, but you would not shirk your duties to your Queen or to Erla. You chose to let him go.” Darien glanced up to see Nall step into the room and freeze when he saw her and heard Darien’s words.

“You could not wait and allow me to tell her? You sought her out to give her the news without me?” Pain laced through Nall’s voice as Cassie turned hurt and angry eyes upon him.

“She overheard us, Nall. I did not betray you. I was content to allow you to tell her yourself, but that is a moot point now. She knows, and you have much to explain to her,” Darien said. Bowing to Cassie, he strode from the room.

“Why, Nall? Why did you lie to me? You have broken my trust in such a cruel way!” she sobbed slightly on the words, tears returning to her eyes.
 

Nall reached out to her, but she pushed his hand away.

“I have no defense. I lied to keep you by my side as it was the only way I could have you. I found you in the woods with no memory—the woman I have loved and longed for—and I saw a chance to keep you with me, so I took it.” Nall’s eyes were tortured as they sought hers.

“Bullshit. That is such bullshit. I had no memory. You could have told me my name, and I still would not have remembered. You were incredibly selfish and led me to believe I was someone I am not, stealing my life from me. You took the coward’s way and lied!”

“I love you so much. I would do anything for you . . . anything to have you.” His eyes begged her for understanding.

“How can you say that? I am grossly different from what I was before as I understand it. How can you honestly say you love me? Do you even
know
me? I don’t know myself. King Darien has described a woman totally unlike the one you have made of me.” She paced wildly about the room, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

“I love you now, even as I loved the woman you once were. I was wrong to do things this way. I have known that all along, but I could not give you up. I knew one day Kara of Erla would ride through my gates or that someone else would recognize the Commander of the Erlan Army, and I would lose you. I had only hoped it would not be so soon.” Nall’s head lowered, and crystal tears slipped down his face to fall on the stone floor beneath his feet.
 

Cassie’s heart clenched at his dejection, but she refused to go and comfort him.

“Am I supposed to fall into your arms and forgive you because you did it out of love? You are a fool, Nall. How can I possibly consider staying with a man who could lie so easily? I can never trust you again, nor do I wish to. I have loved a man who does not exist.”
 

She picked up a goblet and flung it at the wall, and watching the Mull bleed down the surface, she had another flash of déjà vu. Another goblet on another wall . . . but as soon as the flash of memory came, it vanished, leaving her slightly disoriented.

Nall buried his head in his hands in misery. The worst had happened, and he had no choice but to accept whatever decision she made. Cassie turned, and in a flurry of skirts, she rushed back to the bedchamber she had shared with Nall. Looking around, she felt like a stranger to herself.
 

Washing her face off in a bowl of water, she quickly dried it and then lowered herself into a chair by the fire. Her eyes were vacant as she gazed into the flames—her heart aching horribly.
 

A knock sounded on the door, and King Darien opened it and let himself in, coming to sit across from her. His enigmatic eyes rested upon her strained face.

“I sent a messenger to intercept the Lady Kara. She was en route to King Nyles. I believe she will come here immediately and may even be here before nightfall.” He searched her vacant blue-green eyes for some flicker of emotion and found none. “Kara is your Second-in-Command and a very dear friend of yours.” Cassie sighed softly and focused on the handsome man across from her.

“You said you knew me intimately; I assume you mean we were lovers. Did I mean so little to you that you do not mind what has passed here between Nall and me?” she asked speculatively. Darien’s eyes flared.

“Indeed, no, Lady. At one time, I had hoped we could have more, but you could not be swayed from Erla. In that respect, Nall and I share a kinship. Though, I was the only one with whom you lay then.” His eyes were hot on hers. “Nall and I competed most fervently for your favor at one time. I was the only one crafty enough to seduce you properly, though. Nall was much too chivalrous.” A wicked grin spread across his face in memory.

“So, he was at least honest back then,” she said bitterly.

“Lady, you have every right to be angry and feel betrayed, but in Nall’s defense, I must say he has always been a man of integrity, and while I cannot excuse his methods, I can understand his reasons,” Darien spoke softly.
 

Cassie compressed her lips and refused to answer, staring once more into the fire. Darien rose slowly and came to stand in front of her. Lifting her chin, he looked into her stormy eyes.

“I hope you regain your memory soon. I miss the Cassandra I once knew. This meek woman before me has her own brand of charm and attraction, but she is a pale shadow of her former magnificence.” Cassie sighed and dropped her eyes as he released her and walked from the room.

Her mind spun in a million different directions, and her stomach was gripped by nausea. For over two months, she had been a loving partner to Prince Nall, and now she found it was all a fabrication and that she was, in fact, some kind of über warrior. It was too much to process, and she buried her head in her hands as pain began throbbing across her forehead. She sat unthinking for a time, and as the shadows began to settle, she rose, threw more wood on her fire, and then lit candles absently before returning to her seat in front of the flames.

Darien’s rider met Kara when she was nearly halfway to Nyles’ court. He handed her the parchment and relayed his King’s message and watched as amazement and joy lit the Lady’s beautiful face.
 

Kara whirled her horse to face her warriors, a grin splitting her face.

“We ride for Serlenn’s outlying fortress! Our Commander lives and dwells safe there with the Prince!” The women responded with a shout of joy and eagerly kicked their horses into a hard gallop, following Kara.
 

They arrived shortly before dark. Kara jumped from the saddle and all but ran to the great doors of the main house, and flinging them open, she encountered a gray-faced Nall.
 

He had been alerted to their approach by his guard, and he had come forth to meet Kara, reluctance written all over him.

“Prince Nall! I have the news from King Darien! My Commander is here? What happened? How did you find her?” Kara grabbed him in a rough embrace, and her beaming face sent lances through his heart.
 

Stepping back, she looked at him expectantly. She looked away only to scan the darkness of the passageway for signs of her friend. Nall stared speechlessly at Kara; he was unsure how to start or even what to say. Kara’s smile faded, and worry etched her features.

“What is it? Is she hurt?” She grabbed Nall’s upper arms, shaking him slightly.

“Lady, I have done you a great injustice. I have no idea what to tell you . . .” He dropped his eyes from hers as his voice trailed off.

“What are you talking about? Is my Commander well? Does she live? I took it from Darien’s message that she was alive and well. Is this not the case?” Kara’s voice rose an octave, and she gripped his arms tighter, shaking him in her distress.

“She lives. She is well physically,” he said.

“
Physically
? What do you mean?” Still holding his arms, she shook him again.

“She has lost her memory. She doesn’t know who she is,” he said, still not meeting her eyes. Kara’s hands dropped away from him, and she stood open-mouthed.

“She does not remember anything? What happened to her, My Lord?” she gasped out.

“I cannot say. Perhaps it would be better for you to go to her, Kara,” he said, and Kara nodded, following Nall as he led her to the bedchamber. She frowned in confusion when he made no move to enter, but nodded to her and left.
 

Shaking her head slightly Kara drew in a deep breath and opened the door. Sitting by the fire, bathed in candlelight, was Cassandra. She was garbed in a long, woolen dress, and her hair was pulled back from her face, lying loosely down her back.
 

Had Kara not known that face so well, she might have mistaken her for a noblewoman. Cassie looked up at Kara curiously and offered a sad smile. Kara’s breath caught in her throat. This was Cassie, but not the Cassie she had known so well, and it made her feel sick.
 

Cassandra considered the beautiful female warrior who strode into her room.
 

The woman was tall and very strong. Her dark hair was pulled back into a braid, and her sharp eyes assessed everything around her. She exuded strength and dominance. There was a sword at her hip and various daggers on her person.
 

A flash of this woman laughing ran quickly through her mind only to recede back into the darkness therein.
 

Kara stopped in front of Cassie and knelt on the fur rug at her feet, head bowed.

“Lady Cassandra, praise the gods you are safe! I have searched for the past two months for you and had nearly given up hope.”

Cassie stared at the top of the woman’s head for a long moment, unsure of how to proceed. She made a quick decision and put her hand on the bowed head, softly caressing the woman’s hair.
 

Kara looked up and met her eyes.

“Have you any memory at all?” Kara asked, and Cassie shook her head.

“An image flashed through my mind when you came. In it, you were laughing, but nothing more, and even that is fading,” she said sadly and then motioned for Kara to rise.

“We laughed often. We are very close friends. Do you know how this happened? The last report of you was that you were chasing down the remaining Trevian and were not seen again. We searched everywhere for months. I cannot believe you have been here the whole time.” Kara looked at her closely.

“Yes, I have been here the whole time . . . sewing cloaks for the liar who calls himself Serlenn’s prince.” Kara’s mouth dropped open again.

“Sewing cloaks? He has kept you here as a servant! Erla’s Commander?!” Kara shouted, turning dark red and leaping to her feet, she reached for her sword. Cassie rose, and extending a trembling hand, she stopped Kara from unsheathing her weapon.

“No, not as a servant. In all honesty, he has treated me well. He did not bother, however, to mention he knew who I was. He made up a name to give me, and I have lived here as his lover and prospective bride.” She stared into Kara’s horrified eyes.

“I will kill him! I will hand him his still beating heart! How could he? Aargh!” Kara bellowed and turned away, snarling, drawing her sword as she made for the door.
 

Cassie ran after her and grabbed her arm to stop the headlong charge.

“Please, Lady. I would rather you stay here and tell me about who I am. Leave the Prince’s fate to me.” Kara spun around and searched her eyes, and seeing determination there, she sheathed her weapon.

“My Lady, Cassie, he has done a great disservice to your country and your Queen. I have searched tirelessly for you since the day we found you were missing. You are not only my Commander; you are my dearest friend. We have suffered greatly from the fear of your death. I cannot tell you how much pain Nera is in.”

“I am so sorry; it saddens me to think of your distress. I thank you for your friendship and dedication. I wish I could remember you—you and my life before. You must help me; I cannot return to Erla as less than I once was, and I will not remain here and become Nall’s wife after his deception. You must teach me who I am.” She clutched Kara’s hand and begged her with her words and her eyes.