Hewitt: Jagged Edge Series #1 (23 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Peter

Leaving Lilly was the hardest thing I ever did. Somehow I knew she would eventually find out about my past and what happened to her brother. I knew that Diana wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut. It didn't matter how hard I tried to keep the truth from her, it came out anyway.

On the way to the shop, I called the one person I trusted with my past; the one person who could take care of what should have been taken care of a long time ago.

"DFS, this is Matt," he answered.

"I need your help Matt," I said, gripping the wheel tighter.

"I take it she found out," he said.

"Yeah, that’s why I need you to take care of Diana Walker," I said with gritted teeth, being beyond pissed.

"What do you need from me, Peter?" he questioned.

"I need her to go away for a long time. I don't care how you do it, just get it done. I'm done messing with this bitch."

Pulling up to the shop, I could see that all the guys were there. Putting my car into park, I felt a prick of pain as I got out. This meeting was going to keep Lilly safe once and for all. That asshole was never going to lay his hands on her again. When I received her text, I didn't know what to make of it. All I knew was that I needed to get my ass on the first flight back to New York. When I found out from Cop that Lilly threatened to call the police if they didn't leave her alone, it only made matters worse. I knew the only reason she would act like that was because she knew. She found out about my past and her brother. As much as I wanted to get in touch with her, if only to just hear her voice, I couldn't risk putting her in danger. The people I was dealing with in Washington would make sure everything I loved was taken away from me if things didn't go as planned. I couldn't risk them finding out about Lilly. She was the only good thing in my life.

When I opened the door to the shop, the guys were hanging back relaxing. As soon as they saw me, that all changed. They knew something was up and it wasn't good. I could always count on my guys to know when something bad was about to hit the fan. Heading to the soundproof conference room, I knew my men were right behind me. The only time we ever used the room was when I felt the need to keep conversations private. Anyone who ever tried to home in on our discussions would get nothing other than an earful of static.

Waiting until they took their places, I gathered my thoughts. It was only after I heard someone from my group clear their throat that I began my explanation for the meeting.

"Pierre got to Lilly," I began, looking in the direction of Cop and Josh. I knew it wasn't their fault. Eventually, they would have been cited, and the end result would have been the same. Lilly would have been left without protection. "He showed up at the gallery. Somehow he must have known that there was no one around protecting her, and he found his window of opportunity. If I hadn't walked in the gallery and heard her scream, who knows how far he would have taken it with her." Scanning the room, I could see my guys lower their heads in shame. “Look, I'm not blaming anyone for what happened. We need to work as a team and fix this."

"What do you want us to do, boss?" Hawk asked, lifting his head.

"Find him," I demanded. "I don't care what it takes, I want him."

"You okay, bro?" Hawk asked, noticing my gritted teeth as I stood up.

"Yeah, just a little inconvenience from that motherfucker," I snapped.

All of the guys filed out of the room except for Hawk. Out of all the men who I served with and worked with, he was the closest thing I had to a brother. Closing the door, he turned to me with that look I knew so well. Taking a seat on the other end of the conference table, he said his piece. "Peter, you and I have known each other for a long time. I know that something is going on with you, and it goes deeper than this guy stalking Lilly. It's not like you to let someone get a piece of you. Are you going to spill or do I need to knock the shit out of you?"

Hawk always had a way of getting his point across. There were no secrets between us. "Lilly knows about my past. I don't know how much her fucked-up mom told her, but she knows I had something to do with her brother's death."

"You have to stop beating yourself up over what happened over fifteen years ago. That kid wasn't right. You said so yourself. Who calls someone a '
Coward'
and then just releases their grip? He wanted to die, Peter. There's no way you could have known he was going to let go," he said.

"You’re right. I have been off my game. I need to take care of this shit before it rips me apart." Standing, I patted Hawk on the shoulder before leaving the conference room. This thing between Lilly and me, had to stop now. Sooner or later, she needed to know the truth. It didn’t matter anymore, because either way she was going to hate me, at least this way she would know the truth.

As I was leaving the shop, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. Reaching behind me, I pulled it out to see Matt's contact on my screen. "Hey, Matt, I said, grunting as I painfully got into my car.

"That little problem you wanted me to take care of for you has already been taken care of. Seems Diana Walker knows how to find trouble on her own. She was arrested this morning for possession and aiding and abetting a felon wanted on drug charges. Looks like you won't be hearing from her for a while," Matt said.

"Let me guess, the felon was Bud Colver?" I asked.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Matt questioned.

"Lucky guess. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy," I said, feeling like things were finally going my way.

~****~

It was nice to know that at least one of my problems was taken care of. The nice thing about it was that I didn't have to get my hands dirty to get it done. Driving to Lilly's place, all I could think about was how I was going to tell her the truth about her brother. I needed to listen to Hawk’s advice and remember that it wasn't my fault. As much as I hated the kid at the time, I wasn't the one who let go. Looking back on that day, maybe he did have a death wish. I just hoped that I could convince Lilly of that. Just like that, I remembered something I saved when I was a kid. I kept it as a constant reminder that I was never going to be that kid again. Turning around and heading back the other way, I accelerated onto the 9A, taking a left onto I-78 to the Holland Tunnel.

Once I reached my building on Morgan Street, I slipped into my parking spot and rushed up to my apartment. There was no turning back now. Heading to my closet, I pulled out the shoe box that held all of my childhood memories. Most of them were too painful to forget. Tossing the lid on the bed, I lifted the items, remembering everything about each as I pulled them out one by one. I didn't know why I felt the need to keep these reminders of how shitty my childhood was. Maybe it was a reminder that I never wanted to be that boy again. I never wanted to be that helpless.

Putting everything back inside, I tucked the box under my arm and headed out the door. Grabbing my helmet, I opted to take my bike instead of the Camaro. There was something about riding my bike that always helped me clear my head. It was like a rush, being free. Opening one of the compartments, I tucked the box inside and got on. Revving up the engine, I could already feel the pressure inside my gut start to ease.

Reaching Lilly's building thirty minutes later, I parked my bike next to her Lexus. I would have parked my bike out on the street, but I was hoping that after I told her what needed to be said, she would understand and let me show her just how much I needed her. Hopefully it wasn't wishful thinking on my part. I didn’t know what I would do if I ever lost Lilly.

Knocking lightly on the door, I waited for her to answer. I must have woken her up. Her hair was tied back in a messy pony and she didn't have any make-up on. God, she looked sexy as hell. She was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. I was about ready to scold her for answering the door with barely any clothing on, but I knew I needed to remain calm. Watching her step aside, I walked past her and took a seat on the couch while placing the tattered box on the table.

Sitting across from me and tucking her legs under her, and asked softly, "What are you doing here, Peter?"

Patting my hand on the couch, wanting her next to me, I said, "I'm ready to tell you everything, Lilly. I can't stand the way things are between us. I'm tired of keeping secrets from you."

"Okay,” she said, taking the place next to me.

I didn't know where to begin. She must have sensed my uneasiness, because she placed her hand on my shoulder, taking my hand into hers with the other. "I know this is hard for you Peter. I just want to know the truth… about everything."

Taking in a deep breath, I began. "My mom was a drug addict. Just like yours. Only I wasn't so lucky. She died when I was five. We lived in a rundown apartment in Brooklyn. It wasn’t much, but it was the only home I knew. She got some bad stuff. She never woke up. For days, maybe weeks I stayed with her, hoping she would. The police found me huddled next to her cold body. I always tried to keep her warm, but she was always cold. Needless to say, they took me away from her and placed me in a foster home."

"Is that where you met my brother?" she asked softly.

"Not right away. I was eight when he showed up. None of the other kids liked him. They thought he was messed up. I felt sorry for him, so I became his friend. His only friend. As we got older, he changed. It was like he hated everyone, even me. Everyone was afraid of him. He made threats against the other boys if they didn't give him their lunch or do what he asked. He was a bully. He grew to be really big. That's when our friendship ended. I was just a scrawny little kid. Even as I got older, I remained thin while he kept getting bigger and bigger. I hated that place. I swore when I was old enough, I would go into the military and become something. I always watched those commercials on TV with the
'Be all that you can be,’
shit
.
" I could tell by the look on Lilly's face that she was beginning to understand how bad my childhood really was.

Swiping a tear from her face, she said, "I'm sorry, Peter. I'm glad you're telling me this."

I wasn't sure how glad she would be after I told her the rest of the truth. Placing my hand on her cheek, I began again. "Somehow, the rest of the boys, including me, convinced the foster parents to let us build a tree house. One of them sided with us, thinking it would bring all of us closer if we did something together. Looking back, I wish we never built that fucking thing." Gritting my teeth, I lowered my head as I forked my hands through my hair. "When I turned seventeen, I got a camera, one of those fancy digital ones. It was the best day of my life. I never had anything so nice. At first, I took pictures of everything. Then I only took pictures of what Adam was doing with the other boys. I thought if I had pictures of what he was doing to us, he would get in trouble and they would send him away."

Standing, I walked over to the window to look out at the Manhattan sky. I could feel Lilly coming up behind me, placing her arms around my waist. "Peter, are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. I just needed a little breather," I said, turning towards her.

"What happened next, Peter?" she asked.

Taking her by the hand, I walked her back to the couch, pulling her onto my lap. If I was going to get the rest out, I wanted to make sure she was close to me. "My camera went missing. Adam took over everything, even the tree house. None of us could go up to it unless he gave his permission. I knew that he found out what I was doing. I knew my camera was in the tree house. He and some of the other boys went down the street to get an ice cream. I thought that was my chance to get my camera back. I went up to the tree house and searched for it. I found it hidden between two boards, but I wasn't quick enough. Adam was already up the stairs. He saw me and started laying into me. He started telling me what a fuck-up I was and what a whore my mom was. He said the reason she gave me up was because I was in the way when she fucked one of her Johns. I got so mad at him. All I could see was fire. The camera fell out of my hand and landed close to the edge of the tree house. I needed to get it, so I pushed him off of me, only I pushed him too hard. He went over the edge. He was hanging on with one hand. I reached for him to grab my hand. He did. I just stared at him. I couldn't pull him up. There was something in his eyes. I should have known.” My body began to tremble as I remembered the look on his face before he let go.

"Oh my God, Peter. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know that by pushing him, he was going to fall. You were angry at him," she said, tears filling her eyes.