Hey Sunshine (22 page)

Our eyes locked, and for the first time in the last ten minutes, I forgot all about my need for the bathroom. Slowly, Fox bent his head, bringing his face closer to mine. His thick blond hair fell forward, almost brushing my cheek as he leaned down. He was so close, I could count his individual eyelashes. A warm tingle radiated off every part of his body that was touching mine, sending waves of heat through me to my core.

Sliding my arm out from underneath his, I reached up to cup the back of his neck and pull him to me as his hand slid up my side and rested just below my breast. My fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, trembling in anticipation.

“Mama?”

Fox sat back so quickly that I thought I imagined our almost-kiss. I craned my neck to the side and saw Annabelle sitting up on the couch with a big smile, her curls a disheveled mess.

“Good morning, baby,” I croaked, and I blushed when I heard Fox’s soft chuckle.
Well, I guess now is a good time to finally get up to pee.

* * *

“No, I’m serious,” I said into the phone. I was talking to Heather, catching her up on the events from the past twenty-four hours.

“I can’t believe it. Well, I take that back. I
can
believe it,” Heather amended. “You were always too good for Chase, Avery.”

“The part I’m most upset about is the fact that I didn’t even see it coming.”
Because you were so distracted by Fox,
I reminded myself. Any remaining guilty feelings I had about my crush were pretty much wiped away after Chase’s cheating revelation, so at least there was that.

“And with that redhead? My cousin Jill’s best friend, you know the one with the son who plays the trombone? Anyhow, his trombone teacher said that girl dated her nephew last year and every time she came to the house, she never brought a single dish to share. Who does that? Didn’t anyone teach her manners?”

I tried to follow Heather’s train of thought and ended up at a loss. “Maybe they really care about each other.”

“Always wanting to believe the best about people, that’s my girl.”

“To a fault, apparently. Whatever, it’s in the past now.”

Heather laughed. “Mmmhmm… and the future is blond and bright.”

“Heather,” I groaned, but I laughed too.

“So Fox just showed up in the rain like a superhero and whisked you girls away from danger? Was he all wet and dripping? T-shirt sticking to his chest and stuff?”

“Pretty much,” I said, remembering Fox in the storm.

“And then he patched up Duke and saved the ranch?” I heard a blender go off in the background, which didn’t surprise me. Heather did her best baking when she was excited.

“Well, that’s being slightly dramatic, but basically. I definitely couldn’t have done it all myself, especially when we– when Missy…” I trailed off.

“I’m so sorry,” Heather said. “She was a great dog.”

“I just hope she didn’t suffer too much,” I whispered.

“Fox said no, right? That by the time her adrenaline wore off she was likely unconscious?”

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. “Right. Let’s change the subject.” I didn’t want to think about Missy anymore, or the look on my dad’s face when I had to tell him that she died.

“Okay. I hope you thanked Fox appropriately for all of his help.” I could practically see the smirk on her face through the phone.

I waited a beat. “I tried.”

“What? Tell me everything!” Heather cried.

“Not much to tell, unfortunately,” I admitted. “Annabelle woke up and interrupted us before anything happened.”

“Dang it!” Pans clattered sharply in sympathy with her disappointment.

“Tell me about it,” I sighed.

“But there will be a next time, you think?” she asked hopefully.

“Under less dire circumstances ideally, but yes. I definitely think there will be a next time.” Sooner than later, if I had my way. The anticipation was killing me.

“I can’t wait!” Heather trilled.

“You’ll be the first to know.”

Chapter 15

Bored. I was so bored. The diner was empty. Two hours into my lunch shift and I’d made a grand total of seven dollars in tips. The sugars were refilled, the silverware rolled, and I’d even scrubbed out a few dish tubs that didn’t need scrubbing. I was just contemplating wiping down all the menus for the second time when Fox walked in through the back entrance.

The minute Billy saw Fox, he had his apron off and his keys in hand, heading toward the front door. “Bye, Avery! Thanks again, Fox.”

Fox nodded to him as he tied the strings of his own fresh apron. “No problem.”

I watched as Billy all but ran out the door and down the street. Because we’d both been borderline comatose less than five minutes ago, his sudden burst of energy was a little confusing.

Fox caught my curious look and smiled, his dimple like my own personal homing beacon. “I guess he had somewhere important to go.”

“I guess,” I said, feeling the gravitational pull I still hadn’t gotten used to whenever I was in his presence.

“So now it’s just me and you.” He came closer, reaching past me for a coffee cup.

“Just me and you,” I repeated, my eyes locked onto his. His arm brushed mine and he looked down, jolting me out of my trance. I cleared my throat awkwardly and watched him as he filled his cup.

“It’s been slow, then?” he asked, not looking up from the coffee pot. His voice was a little uncertain, a little vulnerable, and I liked it. Ever since he admitted the other day that I affected him too, and showed me as much in the sunshine video, I was looking for signs that reinforced his statement.

This was beyond the initial distraction he’d confessed to when we started working together, and more than the new hand-holding and occasional caress. Without the complication of my faux relationship with Chase, we were navigating real feelings that were happening in real time.

“Yes, slow,” I confirmed in a soft voice. I took a deep breath while I gathered my thoughts. “Fox, I want to thank you for the other day, coming after me and Annabelle in the storm. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t shown up,” I told him honestly.

That was something that had been keeping me up at night for the past few days. I really
didn’t
know what I would’ve done without Fox that night. Sometimes I took my need for independence a little too far – I was so determined to prove I could handle anything that I put myself into situations that were beyond me. Of course, I'd had no way of knowing exactly what would happen, but I hadn’t even told anyone where I was going or why. If my dad hadn’t called the diner… well… things could’ve gone a lot differently.

“I was prepared to turn around and go home if I got to the ranch and your car was there,” Fox said.

I just stared at him, surprised. “Why?”

He shrugged, still looking a little unsure. When he spoke again, his voice was a slight blend of sarcasm and sadness. “The department therapists called it hero’s guilt. Trying to help people even if they don’t need it.” He paused. “To make up for the ones I couldn’t save.” He looked away, appearing startled and embarrassed by his admission.

Those two sentences said more than what lay on the surface. I took a step closer, touched by his sudden vulnerability. “Do you agree with them?”

He shrugged again. “Sometimes.”

My heart ached for him just then, for all the things he never said, the internal turmoil he never shared. I hated that this was the first I was hearing of it. And then I thought of something else. “What about that day at the coffee hut?”

“What do you mean?” His words were even, cautious.

“You saw something over my shoulder… something that startled you. It happened again at the bar.”

I could picture his face, uneasy as he’d stood there next to the coffee cart, more than just the backpack weighing him down, and then again the night he stared out the window at Lucky’s. Those looks stayed with me all these weeks. They were his biggest moments of uncertainty in all the time I’d known him, up until now.

Fox shook his head. “I can’t believe you remembered.”

I slid a finger up his arm softly. “I remember a lot.”

He blew out a breath. “Sometimes things remind me of other people.”

“Other people?”

“Circumstances where I wished there was a different outcome.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a never-ending loop – what I could’ve done differently, what I would do next time. Something or someone will remind me, and then I’m back there.”

Another couple sentences that spoke volumes in very few words. My heart skipped a slow beat. He looked lost, extremely uncomfortable, and not at all like Fox. “Oh.”

He smiled a wisp of his usual half smile. “Old habits die hard and all of that.”

“Fox, I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure what to say, but an apology was a good place to start. I was definitely sorry – sorry he felt that way, sorry that I’d brought it up, and sorry that he couldn’t possibly be the only one to have a similar experience.

“Don’t be.” He reached out and brushed a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “Ghosts aren’t always a bad thing.” He paused. “Boo Berry cereal, for example.”

I caught a hint of the confident, dry humor that I knew so well, and my body relaxed a little. I knew Fox was trying to lighten the mood of this conversation for my benefit, and although I wanted to reassure him that I could handle whatever he wanted to share, I let him steer the topic in a different direction.

I wrinkled my nose at him. “No way. Count Chocula is way better.”

He laughed. “Everything okay out at your parents’ place?”

“For the most part. My dad found where the dogs got hurt. One side of the south fence was completely down, it must’ve fallen on them and they had to wriggle out from under it.”

“I figured it was something like that,” Fox said.

“On the plus side, Duke is doing great, and my dad mended the fence. Other than that, no major damage, just a lot of clean up. Thank you for the rosebush, by the way. My mom planted it over Missy’s grave.”

For a small operation, there was quite a bit of acreage but nothing my father and his part-time ranch hand couldn’t fix. My dad had been spending more and more time out there lately, and Fox was slowly taking over some of the responsibilities at the diner that Joy didn’t have time for. I knew they were still hoping I’d change my mind about New York and graduate school to stick around, but the closer I got to graduation, the more determined I was. I wanted options, and I wasn’t going to find them around here.

Fox nodded. “I’ll give your dad a call, see if I can come out and help.”

“Fox, you’ve been here every day since the storm, working doubles and taking care of the ordering and closing the till so my dad could focus on the ranch. That’s above and beyond the call of duty. You’re definitely employee of the month, okay?” I teased.

His mouth quirked up on one side. “Is there a trophy?”

I rolled my eyes, suppressing a laugh. “I think it’s a plaque. And a gift certificate for a pony ride at the fair.”

He turned his full sexy Fox gaze on me, sweeping those green eyes from my beat-up Converse all the way to the fabric flower I’d stuck into my messy bun. “Can I bring a date?”

I could feel my grin split my face from ear to ear. “Depends. Who did you have in mind?”

Fox’s slow smile got my blood flowing as he picked up his coffee and turned to head into the kitchen. “I’ll let you know.”

When he was out of sight, I shoved a silverware tray aside and slumped dramatically against the counter. I wasn’t sure what was worse, the anticipation of my graduate school admission or waiting for Fox to finally make his move. At this point, I’d have to say the latter.

* * *

Game over. I’d tossed and turned all night, and this was ridiculous. I got up, threw on a sweatshirt over my pajamas and grabbed my keys. The day after the storm, Fox and my dad had gone out to retrieve my car from where it had stalled in the road, and I’d been driving the SUV while I waited for the repairs to finish but I had the old sedan back now, and I crossed my fingers that it would get me to the only place I wanted to go right at this moment.

Ten minutes later, I raised my hand and rapped my knuckles on the apartment door quickly, before I lost my nerve. The thirty or so seconds after that ticked by excruciatingly slowly, and I almost turned around and ran down the stairs to my car to forget the whole thing. Fox opened the door in faded navy blue pajama bottoms, pulling his arms through a white T-shirt, his hair perfectly disheveled and sexy. When he saw me, he stopped short.

“Avery? It’s like four thirty in the morning. Is everything okay?”

My eyes locked onto the sliver of bare stomach that peeked out from his rumpled, half-on shirt. “No.”

“No? What’s wrong? Is it Annabelle?” Fox quickly slipped the shirt over his head and reached down to grab his running shoes from the mat by the door, but I put my hand on his arm to stop him.

“Annabelle is fine. She had a sleepover at the ranch.”
Say it, just say it.
“It’s me.”

“You?” Fox looked genuinely confused. He dropped his shoe to the floor and ran a hand through his hair.

“Yes, me.” I took a deep breath. “Well, me and you.” I echoed his words from yesterday at the diner.

His expression changed to one of caution, and again I nearly lost my nerve. He leaned against the doorjamb and surveyed me seriously. “Do you want to come in and talk about it?”

This was it. “I like you, okay?” I all but exploded. “And I thought I was making it perfectly obvious, giving you all kinds of signs and green lights, but either you don’t like me the same way even though you’ve hinted at it, or you’re taking it slow for some unknown awful reason, but I can’t take it anymore!”

Fox’s lips twisted. That dimple could coax daybreak out of the darkness, and I could almost feel the sun rising as I stood there, waiting for his response.

“You like me?” He reached out, sliding a hand around the curve of my waist.

“Y– yes.” His touch immediately knocked the breath out of me, but I managed to reply.

In one quick motion, he pulled me forward into the apartment and then backward, using the pressure of his body against mine to shut the door. I shifted over quickly when I felt the doorknob dig into the small of my back, and he followed, placing both hands on the door on either side of my face.