Authors: Ally Rose
âI'm fine in Das Kino and the straw insulates the room really well.'
âMy boy, you don't have to stay hidden any more,' Klaus reassured him.
Felix nodded. âI know. But for now, I'd rather stay in my own little space.'
âOK, just as long as you don't get too cold.'
Ingrid tiptoed out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. âShe's asleep. Poor girl, she's so very tired. Even if she sleeps all day, let her. We can all muck in and look after the baby. What's that smell?'
âNot me!' Klaus joked. âAxel needs changing.'
âWell, what are you waiting for, Great Onkel Klaus?'
Ingrid did the night feeds and Susanne had an unbroken sleep until late the following morning. When she awoke she didn't recognize her surroundings but catching sight of an old photo of her grandmother Gertrude on a bedside dresser she remembered where she was. But where was Axel? She dressed and went to find him sitting quite happily in his carrycot, Ingrid talking baby talk to him as she was ironing.
âMorning,' Ingrid said, putting down her iron. âSleep well?'
âYes. Did Axel wake you in the night?'
âOnly once. I told you I'd do the night feeds until you're feeling better.'
âThank you,' said Susanne stroking her son's head. âYou've got so many people to love you. What a lucky boy you are!'
âHungry?' Ingrid enquired. âI'll make you some breakfast, anything you like.'
Susanne nodded. âI'll help myself, if that's OK.'
âThis is your home now, yours and Axel's.'
Susanne suddenly doubled over in pain.
Ingrid grew concerned. âWhat's wrong?'
Susanne sat down and the pain eased. âIt was a difficult birth. They had to cut me. I get the cramps sometimes.'
âYou take it easy,' Ingrid advised.
Susanne went to the bathroom and checked herself. She'd been menstruating for a month now and although it was a light flow of blood and the doctors at the nursing home had told her it might last for six weeks, it was draining her. After showering she dressed again and went to the kitchen to eat some porridge and a strong cup of coffee. She could see how kind Ingrid was being to her and wanted to say something nice to show her gratitude.
âThank you for singing me to sleep last night. Mutti used to sing to us.'
Ingrid looked wistful. âI heard her sometimes. Sofie had a sweet voice.'
Susanne thought about asking Ingrid about what happened between the two sisters but decided it would only bring back painful memories. Sofie was long gone and everyone had their regrets for one reason of another. There had been a lot of water under the bridge since then. She barely recognised herself these days. What was important for her was to try and focus on the present and today she had to tie up some loose ends.
âWhere's Felix?' Susanne asked.
âHe's in Das Kino, over the road.'
âI want to talk to him.'
âNo, don't go, I mean⦠It's a secret,' Ingrid blurted out.
âA secret? Tante, I don't like secrets, please tell me.'
âHe's making something for the baby. Sorry, it was meant to be a surprise.'
âI've kept secrets just to stay alive. Tante, I can't do it any more.'
There was nothing Ingrid could say. Implicitly, she understood.
âThere will be no more secrets between Felix and me,' Susanne announced and put her coat on. âPlease look after Axel for me,' she said, kissing her son and embracing Ingrid warmly before going outside.
Felix was working in Das Kino, making the baby crib. He was good at woodwork, good with any task where he could use his hands. Under Klaus's tutorage, given a piece of wood, he was rapidly developing the skills to turn it into something interesting and useful. One day he hoped to build a small boat but for now, he made chairs, tables, anything practical.
Initially when his sister came in he was irritated.
âSusi! What I'm making was meant to be a surprise,' he said, with disappointment.
âYou know I don't like surprises but it's a lovely crib. Thank you. But Felix, please. We need to talk.'
It was approaching lunchtime. Ingrid had made
eisbein
 â pickled ham â with
sauerkraut
. A hungry Klaus came in and was promptly kissed by his wife.
âKlaus, look after Axel for me. I'm going to call the twins for lunch. Won't be long.'
âWhat's that lovely kiss for?'
Ingrid kissed her husband again. âFor bringing my family back together.'
Klaus smiled. âYou like having a baby in the house, eh?'
âIt's lovely,' Ingrid said, smiling broadly.
The snow crunched beneath her feet walking along the path to the hangar. The doors were wide open and she saw Felix come out briefly only to disappear inside again.
Then she heard the twins' raised voices, followed by a wild, falling scream, a heavy thud and the crack of bones on concrete. It was a moment that would change all of their lives forever.
Ingrid ran to the entrance of Das Kino, her heartbeat racing so hard it was audible. Inside the hangar, she saw Susanne's broken body lying lifeless on the floor. She had landed not far from where Felix was standing, frozen in horror.
âNO!' Ingrid cried. â
Scheisse
! What on earth has happened?'
Felix began screaming, then suddenly bolted into action, rushing to cradle his sister's bloody head in his arms.
âNO!' he screamed, over and over. âNO!'
F
ELIX CARRIED
S
USANNE FROM
Das Kino to the cottage, her blood dripping a trail of red on the pristine white snow. The warmth of her body was ebbing away, yet as Felix laid her on a bed she looked as if she was sleeping, peaceful at last. Axel snoozed in his cot, blissfully unaware that when he awoke crying for the comfort and sustenance of suckling his mother's breasts his cries would forever go unheard.
Klaus and Ingrid stood watching at the bedroom door, stunned and quiet.
Felix broke the silence. âIt's all my fault. Susi and I argued and then she jumped.'
Ingrid was adamant. âNo! It's not your fault. We didn't know she'd do that!'
âI left her in that fucking place! She couldn't forgive me,' Felix yelled.
âStop that!' Ingrid insisted. âWhatever you were arguing about, she'd made up her mind to jump. Now, what we are going to do?'
Felix reluctantly left Susanne's side and carried Axel in his cot out of the room.
âWe need a doctor,' Klaus said, picking up a telephone directory.
âI know a doctor,' Felix began. âDr Jens. He helped me escape.'
Klaus nodded. âI remember. And Susanne spoke about him too.'
Felix was distraught. âYou must call him.' He handed over the identity card with Dr Jens's details.
âWhere did you get this?'
âOnkel, no questions, not now. He'll help us. Please, call him.'
Klaus decided to trust Felix's instinct and rang the number. A man answered.
âDr Wissemann?' Klaus asked.
âYes. Who is this?'
âPlease, don't hang up, I'm Felix and Susanne Waltz's Onkel. There's been an accident.'
Dr Wissemann was shocked by Klaus's tragic news and knew he had to help. He thought back to his days at Torgau. He had sat on his hands for too long, telling himself it was not his business what the wardens got up to. In the hospital wing he had seen the effects of abuse that some wardens inflicted on the children on a regular basis. His job was somewhat perfunctory: to tend to their wounds, get on with his tasks and say nothing. In East Germany at that time, as a man in his mid 50s, he knew he was unlikely to find another job and he had his family to think of. A steady income paid the bills and gave them a reasonable lifestyle. He'd convinced himself that challenging the system would be futile and he feared the consequences of such a challenge. But his sense of guilt at his collaboration of silence had grown and gnawed away at his conscience and by tolerating it, his apathy had made the evil possible. When news of the fall of Communism spread throughout Eastern Europe during 1989, he had decided to take a few risks.
Dr Wissemann had been one of a dozen or so doctors and nurses who had worked shifts in the Torgau hospital wing, tending the wounds of children who had been subjected to a long list of injuries: cuts, bruises, horrific weals from beatings with belts, broken fingers and toes. All were commonplace. But those he found most pitiful were the children sent to the hospital wing suffering from constipation and anal sores from the effects of the buggery they endured during âan evening of evil entertainment' with the paedophiles. And the most infamous paedophiles at Torgau were three men who were known by their pseudonym of âThe Three Musketeers'.
Their real names were Horst Gwisdek, Gunther Schukrafft and Harald Plaumann and their reputation at Torgau was legendary. Children spoke about them in whispers, hearing about them from friends and fellow victims. Resting uneasily in their beds at night, they would pray it wasn't their turn and feel guiltily relieved when another kid received a knock on their bedpost, to be taken from their bed and led to the evil trio. For those unfortunate enough to be chosen, a long night of terrifying, painful, drunken debauchery lay ahead, ensuring the Musketeers lived up to their motto of âall for one, and one for all'.
The Musketeers used a go-between to take the children from their beds at night, a young, female warden who obeyed orders and never questioned her superiors. Her name was Lotte Holler.
When Dr Wissemann was on duty at Torgau he had liked to surreptitiously listen to the BBC World Service. His English was good enough to understand what was being said and the historic news that the Soviet control of the Eastern bloc countries was loosening enraptured him. One crisp, spring night, he'd heard the sound of footsteps approaching his office and turned off the radio. There was a knock on the door. It was Lotte Holler.
A young, fair-haired boy cowered behind her, crying in the corner. He recognised the boy immediately as one he was particularly sorry for, a little chap called Felix. He and his twin sister Susanne were regular victims of the Musketeers who, before they abused the twins sexually, made them dance to music. Dr Wissemann treated Felix and Susanne when they were brought to him afterwards, sad and sore. He used to offer them a brief respite, letting them stay overnight on the ward together.
âHerr Doktor,' Lotte began. âOne of the inmates has been playing silly fools with a cigar, he's burned his ears.'
âHow did he get hold of a cigar?'
Lotte shrugged her shoulders. âThese kids get up to all sorts.'
Dr Wissemann knew she was lying. He guessed the cigar burns had been inflicted by the Musketeers. Felix's ears had blistered and he was trying to be brave and not cry, but his legs gave way beneath him and he sank to the floor in agony, muffling his cries by biting on his shirt collar.
âStand up!' said Lotte, in a fierce and merciless voice.
Felix had stood up. He didn't know if this was the start of another game where the wardens repeated âstand up, sit down' ad infinitum, simply for their amusement.
âI'll keep him here overnight,' said Dr Wissemann. âBurn wounds need to be dressed every few hours or so and he can sleep in the hospital ward tonight.'
âYes, Herr Doktor,' Lotte replied and marched off. Felix yelped when Dr Wissemann applied an antiseptic gel to his ears and gave him some strong painkillers. âThere, that'll soothe them, although I'm sorry to say you might have some scars.'
Felix lay down in the dark of the small room that housed four single beds. The pain from his ears over-rode the pain from his body after his evening with the Musketeers and he knew sleep would only come when the pills began to work.
He heard footsteps coming into the room but didn't dare open his eyes for fear it was that bitch warden, Lotte Holler, coming to take him away. He slyly opened one eye and saw Dr Wissemann opening a nearby window, tying a few bed sheets together and attaching them to the bed to hang out of the window. Felix was afraid. It was a long drop to the River Elbe, below. What was the doctor thinking?
âFelix,' the doctor whispered. âWake up. The night nurse is on her break, we haven't got long. I'm going to get you out of this place.'
There was a flight of stairs next to the escalators used for deliveries to each of the floors of the children's wing at Torgau. In the hospital wing, Dr Wissemann used this staircase to avoid entering the main gates, preferring to come in at the electronically controlled delivery gate, for which he had a coded pass. The store room where food and medical supplies were delivered was patrolled by armed guards during the working day and there were a small number of non-uniformed staff working in the storehouse, to help log data and distribute the supplies. At night it was locked and unmanned.
Dr Wissemann had wrapped a blanket around the bewildered boy and led him down a few flights of stairs, past the storeroom and empty reception desk and into a small courtyard to where his Trabant car was parked.
âFelix, lie down in the back, stay very still and try to sleep. I'll return before sunrise.'
âDr Wissemann, what about my sister?'
âSorry. It's too dangerous to get both of you out tonight and you know Susanne is three months pregnant. I insisted she wasn't forced into a termination because she wanted to keep the baby and that means the wardens will leave her alone now. Things are changing outside these walls and when the time's right, I'll get her out of here, I promise.'
Dr Wissemann returned to the ward as the duty nurse was coming along the corridor.
âNurse! A patient has escaped. Quick, call the wardens,' Dr Wissemann lied with ease.
Before long, an armed male warden called Jochens turned up with Lotte Holler.
Jochens looked through the open window where the sheets were hanging, blowing in the breeze. âIt's a long way down and difficult to survive a fall in the cold water,' said Dr Wissemann, giving a convincing performance. âI saw him climbing out of the window and I shouted at him not to do it, but he jumped. The outside security lights helped me see him struggling in the water below, then he went under.'
Lotte chuckled. âI heard the boy's drunk of a father drowned trying to escape over the Berlin Wall. Maybe the boy got hold of a bottle of Schnapps. Stupid boy â like father, like son, eh?'
Dr Wissemann ignored her cruel comments. âI only went to the bathroom and when I returned, the boy was halfway out the window!'
âNo one will miss him,' said Lotte. âFelix Waltz has danced his last dance.'
âNo one's to blame, Herr Doktor. But what if the boy did survive and got out of the water down river? Maybe we should send out a search party?' Jochens ventured.
Dr Wissemann thought it best to flatter the warden's authority. âWhatever's best, Jochens, you decide.'
Fortunately, Jochens decided to trust the doctor and began untying the sheets. âNo, you just write your report. I mean, it's not as if anyone will care about a Torgau boy.'
âWe are, after all, only doing our job,' said Lotte.
âAnd no one's to blame,' Dr Wissemann echoed, trying not to look at Lotte with contempt. He thought some of the most despicable human behaviour has been conducted in the name of “I'm only following the law” or “I'm only doing my job”.
âThat's right, Herr Doktor.' Lotte had felt the doctor's look of disapproval. âWe're all just doing our job under difficult circumstances. The boy didn't suffer. It's for the best, the kids here have no future and nothing to offer society. That boy won't be missed by anyone, it'll be as if he never existed or he was left comatose. Kids here are the forgotten children. Who'd want a life like that?' Lotte believed she'd acquitted herself well in front of the eminent doctor.
Before sunrise and at the end of his shift, with no more questions asked and no suspicions raised, Dr Wissemann drove out of Torgau with Felix hidden under a blanket on the back seat of his car.
âDon't say a word, Felix,' he instructed.
Felix obeyed and was silent until the doctor began talking to him. âYou can talk now. But stay lying down for the time being. How are your ears?' Dr Wissemann asked him.
âI'm trying not to think about them.'
âI'll dress them when we get to Dresden.'
âDresden?' Felix asked.
âYes, where I live. I've thought it through and I'm sure my wife will be fine about it. You can stay hidden at my house for as long as it takes.'
âDr Wissemann. Please, I can't stay with you. I want to go home.'
Dr Wissemann was surprised. âHome? But, I thought you and Susanne were orphans?'
Felix trusted the doctor implicitly and without hesitation said: âI've an Onkel and Tante. Because of some silly family row I'm sure they never knew my mother died, but Susi and I knew if we told the wardens we had relatives it wouldn't have made any difference.'
Dr Wissemann felt a mixture of sadness and delight for the boy. Sadness, because his relatives could have saved him from Torgau, but delight because they now offered him new hope.
âWhere do they live?' Dr Wissemann asked.
âSouth of the Spreewald.'
A few hours later Dr Wissemann, with Felix sitting in the front of the car, saw the aircraft hangar and Motzen Lake coming into view.
Felix grew animated. âLook! Dr Wissemann. Das Kino!'
Dr Wissemann was bemused.' Das Kino?'
âThe aircraft hangar, that's what we call it, Das Kino. We show films in there most weekends.' Felix couldn't contain his excitement. âAnd look, there's the cottage.'
Dr Wissemann parked and looked out onto the peaceful lake. It was a beautiful spring morning with a gentle breeze and freshness to the air. Felix would do very well here, he thought, it was a perfect place to heal.
âYou'd best go,' Dr Wissemann told him.
Suddenly Felix felt afraid. âWhat if they don't want me?'
âThey'll want you,' Dr Wissemann reassured him. âWill you come in with me?' Felix pleaded.
âBest not. It would compromise your family and mine if we met face to face. I tell you what, I'll take a walk to stretch my legs and if you're not back here at my car in one hour, I'll know all is well.'
Dr Wissemann gave Felix a few sterile dressings to take with him and shook his hand. âI'll make sure Susanne's OK. Once she's had the baby, I'll do my very best to bring her home here but it has to be our secret, just for now.'
âThank you, Dr Wissemann. I'll not forget you.'
âYou should, you know. I'm a constant reminder of the hell you've come from.'
Felix threw his arms around the doctor, then took a deep breath, left the car and started his short walk towards the cottage. Dr Wissemann watched him go and crossed his fingers for the boy.
An hour later, he got into his car and drove home to Dresden without Felix. Feeling good about himself for the first time in ages, he started to dream of different schemes to get more kids out of Torgau. The problem was, if he helped anyone else escape, where would they go? It wasn't viable to hide more than one kid at a time and they wouldn't all be lucky like Felix and have a family to return to. Escapees couldn't be left to fend for themselves in the outside world, leading a life on the run; the Stasi who ran the authorities would pick them up like stray dogs and return them to their kennels.