Hidden Faults (37 page)

“I don’t think I can. I'm sorry.”

She shrugged, mouth sad. I walked out, still very much adrift, and wishing that I could fool myself into taking her advice. It would never work, though. I didn’t want my soul fed, I wanted my brain occupied, my hands used for healing, not fire-making. And I wanted to know about Kir, and Timo, and what the hell was going on in Vizinken.

~~~

I received no warning of his return. I walked into the living room for my lunch—which I had taken to having early as a way of minimising my interactions with the others— and found Kir taking his ease, sipping khevai and talking to Dede, Hermi, and Jeyle.

He turned as I came in, his expression uncertain, dark circles under weary brown eyes.

“Hey,” he said.

I stopped dead, my throat closing up. “Hi.” It surprised—shocked—me how pleased I was to see him again.

“Won’t you join us?” Hermi said with a grave smile. “Kir was debriefing us, and it involves you. Unless you’d rather wait for him to explain privately.”

Kir gave me no clues, so I walked over to the table. “Now is fine.” I took a seat. “Everything went well?”

“
Everything and every
one
is fine,” Kir said. “In and out, slick and neat. Your friend doesn’t know anything about.... Hey, you’ve got shields.” He frowned at me. “Thought you was gonna wait for me to—”

“Wanted to surprise you,” I said. Jeyle sniffed. “They’re not finished.”

“No, I can tell. Good work, though.” He seemed pleased. Surprised, but pleased, which made up a little for the tedium and frustration of the past three weeks. “It’s a bit strange not being able to go straight into your mind though.” He tilted his head, and his mouth moved as if he wanted to ask a question, then he stopped. “Um, are you okay with hearing this? It’s more shit about your school.”

“I can deal with it. Go on.”

It annoyed me more that no one had told me he’d returned. I didn’t even know how long he’d been sitting here without my knowing. I shot a look at Dede, but she gave nothing away.

“What did you find out?”

“It’s like we thought. Kregan’s shielding. Man, it’s a beautiful job too, but he slipped up a couple of times while I was scanning— “

“How?” I wanted to know so I could avoid the mistake. “How did he slip up?”

Jeyle narrowed her eyes in impatience, but Hermi touched her hand and she said nothing.

“He’s good, really good, but it’s hard to keep it perfect all the time, see, and he wasn’t expecting me to be watching so close. I sent a thought into his head about you, and he...didn’t react. Nothing. When he should have. And then he passed a skimmer that was playing a news item about paranormals and crime. Again, nothing. Not normal. He hid his real reaction, but forgot to put up the camouflage, the fake reaction. But only those couple of times.”

“
You still don’t know if
he’s
a paranormal.”

“No, but I bet he is. Anyway, I was telling everyone, I got a fifty percent success on your school chums, Jodi. All blocked, same as you, in almost exactly the same ways and at the same point in their lives.”

“Only fifty percent?”

“Cover,” Dede murmured.

I nodded. “So now what? And how many students does that mean? Are we only talking about adults?”

Kir held up his hand. “Whoa. I got no idea about numbers. I tracked twenty—ten were positives. I don’t know about the kids, because I ain’t been to the school.”

“This is not something for us to decide now,” Hermi said. “We need to consult with our friends in the south, and all of us here. You should take things easy,” he said, laying his hand on Kir’s arm, “When would you like to address a meeting?”

Kir rubbed his face tiredly. “Um...tomorrow? I want to hurry, but seriously, I’m wiped, and it’s been going on for years. Another day won’t hurt no one—anyone—and Jeyle should send a report down to Wesejne. I could write it up myself but you know how fast I’d do that.”

“Leave it to me,” Jeyle said. “Do you want lunch?”

“Nah. Later, maybe. I was kinda hoping to talk to Jodi.” Her mouth turned down in disapproval as he looked at me. “You busy?”

The invitation surprised me. “Not really. Here? Daylight lounge?”

“Lounge.” I ignored Jeyle’s fierce glower. “Now? Or after you’ve had a chance to....” I discreetly indicated our angry telekinetic and her lover.

“Nope, now. Talk to you guys later.”

He rose and took my arm in a firm-fingered grip, apparently quite determined that we would talk, and talk now.

“They didn’t tell me you were back,” I murmured as we walked along the rock-walled passages.

“No, I know. Pissed off about that.”

The lounge was empty, rather to my surprise—there were usually always a couple of people enjoying the light and the pleasant atmosphere generated by the plants and the water features—and I wondered if Kir had sent a message ahead. He said nothing about it, though, as he took up his favourite position on a long sofa near the ferns. I sat in an armchair near him and wondered what was on his mind.

He didn’t say anything, apparently content to simply look at me. It unnerved me somewhat, but I let him scrutinise me. Finally he sighed and sat back.

“You and Jeyle still at it, I see.”

“You make it sound as if I'm deliberately provoking her.”

“No, I know you ain’t. Me and Hermi talked to her a bit about stuff. I hoped she might calm down a bit.”

“Short of tranquilisers, I don’t think she’s likely to.”

He grunted in agreement, then rubbed his face again.

“Tired?”

“
Oh yeah. Takes a lot of concentration, following a dozen minds all at once, trying not to expose myself or the people I’m with. You physical talents got
no
idea.” He smiled, showing his teeth. “Nice work with the shields. Seriously. I wasn’t expecting that.”

His eyes held the question. “I’ve been thinking about what Dede said. What you said. And...I choose forgiveness.”

“Just like that?” Was that wariness or suspicion in his voice?

“No. It isn’t easy, Kir. I’ve spent a lot of time agonising, thinking, trying to understand. Talking to Dede and Hermi. I thought the shields would give us both a rest.”

“I appreciate it. Thank you.”

Our gazes locked. There was so much more I wanted to say, so much I wanted to talk about, but he was tired, and words were a blunt weapon. I didn’t trust either of us not to screw it up.

So I changed the subject. “Can you help me finish off my shields?”

He shook himself as if throwing off some unpleasant thought. “Sure. Day or two tops. Actually, it’s kinda weird that you done that because...I think we’re gonna have to go in after this Kregan guy. Might be good to have an option to bring you in on it.”

“And do what?”

He gave me a one-shouldered shrug. “That’s what everyone’s gotta talk about. Talk, talk, talk.... I’ll end up doing what they tell me to, if I don’t decide to do something else.”

He slid down and swung his long legs onto the sofa, lying on his side so he could stare at me. “You doing okay, Jodi? Least you can’t crap at me to pull it out of your head any more.”

“You could.”

“Too much fucking trouble. Are you?”

I looked at him, wondering if he wanted the truth or a comfortable lie. “No, not really.”

“Jeyle? You could’ve moved over the other side if she’s giving you too much shit.”

“No thanks. I’ll take honest loathing over hypocrisy any day.”

“You don’t like most of us, do you?”

“I don’t belong here, Kir. I haven’t been away from my old life long enough to consider this any improvement. And I won’t ever be a Spiritist.”

He nodded. “We ain’t got a lot of choices to offer. You could stay in one of the other refuges around the country, but they’re mostly Febkeinzes, or you could go to the Weadenal, but I don’t think you’d like the Elected any better.”

“
I don’t want to
stay
anywhere. I want to be doing something...I want to be fighting actively, not sitting around for your big-dicked friends down in the Weadenal to come up with an answer.”

“Big-dicked?”

“Oh, fuck off, Kir.”

He laughed and snuggled down. He didn’t protest when I threw a pretty dark green knitted blanket over him from the back of the sofa. “Thanks. Didn’t sleep much.”

“Was there something you wanted to talk to me about, that you brought me in here?”

He shot me a guilty glance. “Um...no. Not really. I just...it’s been a tough three weeks and I wanted to talk to you. I know that’s taking advantage.”

“I can’t stay angry forever.”

“
No.” He pulled the blanket around his shoulders. “You’re right—the shields help.”

“Good.” His eyes drifted shut. I’d have sat and watched him sleep except that was an exercise in masochism. “Talk to you later.”

He grunted and curled further into the blankets. I waited a little longer until his breathing deepened, then I slipped out. I still needed my lunch, though I would probably have to grab something and take it to my bedroom if I wanted privacy.

Unfortunately, Dede, Hermi, and Jeyle were still there, talking. They fell silent as I approached.

“He’s asleep,” I told them.

“It always takes a lot out of him,” Dede said, getting to her feet as I kept on my way to the kitchen, hoping to avoid conversation with any of them. She murmured something about catching us all later, and walked out.

I made a cheese and salad sandwich in the kitchen and poured some milk, setting it all on a tray. When I came out, Jeyle glared at me, and I’d finally had enough. I set the tray down on the table, then leaned on my hands towards her.

“What?”

She narrowed her eyes at me, her fingers clawing where they rested on the table. “What are you doing, pretending to be friendly with him?”

“Jeyle, my love, be calm,” Hermi murmured. She ignored him.

“I’m not pretending anything,” I said. “He asked me to go with him to talk, so I did.”

“I wish so much we’d left you to rot in that jail.”

I closed my eyes and prayed to any passing deity for the strength to keep my temper.

“You people have had years to become used to what Kir does in your name. I’ve had weeks. If I can try to restore something like friendship with someone I have every right to hate, then the least you could do is be civil. I’ve had quite enough of your poor manners, Jeyle. Hermi, please excuse me.”

Jeyle sneered and I turned to walk off.

Hermi called to me. “Jodi, please.”

“Let him go,” she snarled. “We don’t need him and neither does Kir. He’ll break my boy’s heart like he did before.”

Outraged, I wanted to bellow back at her, but then I saw Hermi’s expression, pleading with me. So I stopped and concentrated on what lay behind those irrational, angry words. “I doubt Kir and I would ever have a relationship where that would be possible. Even if it was, it’s our business, not yours. I'm not your cheating husband.”

She yelled in incoherent rage, but Hermi quickly embraced her, and though she struggled, she was no match for his determination or his talent. “Now calm down,” he murmured. “Jodi, please sit. We need to sort this out. Jeyle, please, my love. This can’t go on, it really can’t. It’s hurting Kir and you and Jodi.” He kissed her cheek and cuddled her, but the tension in her body scarcely diminished.

“You sound as if you wish Kir and I were at each other’s throats, rather than trying to reconcile. It makes no sense,” I said.

Her eyes bored into me. “He doesn’t need more pain. Or betrayal.”

“The pain is not of my making. The betrayal....” I glanced around the room where normally a dozen inhabitants would be lounging. “You know who betrayed him. Not me.”

“It was us,” Hermi said. “Jeyle, you know it’s true.”

“I never wanted this for him!”

“Nor I,” I said. “We’re on the same side and have the same goal. We shouldn’t be enemies. I have no hate for you, or him. I’ve offered him my forgiveness. If we’re lucky, it might lead to friendship. I offer you my forgiveness too, though I won’t ask for it from you.”

“You have a generous soul, Jodi,” Hermi said. “Jeyle, he’s not lying.”

She buried her face in his collar, her shoulders shaking as Hermi’s shirt failed to muffle the desperate, sad sounds from his lover. As Hermi comforted her, he glanced my way. Poor sod, caught between us.

“Why don’t I make you lunch?” I offered. “Sandwiches okay? What would you like?”

Hermi offered a couple of suggestions in a low voice and I figured I could work the rest out. As I put together a generic, inoffensive meal of cheese sandwiches and a couple of little vegetable pies left over from the night before, taking my time, I heard them murmuring to each other. I very determinedly did not listen in.

When things fell quiet, I wandered out again. Hermi had his arm around Jeyle as I brought the tray back in and set it down.