Hidden Heart (17 page)

Later that night, after the
sponge bath he gave her by candlelight, Tessa lay awake in
Alessandro’s arms. She desperately wanted to tell him about the
baby, but lost her courage after seeing him as excited as a boy in
a toy store once she agreed to join him in Greece.

Maybe while in Greece I’ll
find the strength to tell him…

***

Their trip had indeed been
amazing. He took her to Rethymno, one of the famous Greek Islands,
with picturesque landscapes, mountainous villages and Venetian
traditional architecture. They strolled down the gold sandy beach
at sunset, hand in hand, taking in all the beauty of a place that
looked like it had been painted by an angel; the crystal clear sea
scalding the hazy red-blue horizon with its waves, seagulls dancing
in the sky with their wings widespread before plunging into the
cold water for fish. A Venetian fortress overlooked the town with
its narrow white houses and blue wooden blinds.

She had finally asked him
about his wife. She knew he’d been married before, she knew that
his wife had passed away, but she never felt it was her place to
ask questions. Now, that they began seeing each other and learned
more and more about their pasts, she asked him one night what had
happened to her.

“
We were driving home from
a party and it was rainy and dark. A drunk driver lost control of
his car and hit us on the passenger side. Rafaela was smashed in
her seat and when the ambulance arrived she was already dead. I was
taken to the hospital and didn’t know about her death until two
weeks later when the doctors thought I was strong enough to take
the news. I didn’t have time to say goodbye to her.”

He paused and didn’t talk
for a while. It seemed hard for him to find his words. Tessa
squeezed his hand and rested her head on his shoulder as they sat
on the warm beach sand facing the endless sea.

“
I spread her ashes atop
Mount Etna the same day I met you last year.” He looked sideways at
her and kissed her temple. “I’m glad I did it that very same
day.”

“
Why?”

Alessandro looked down at
her and caressed her cheek, “Simple. Because I met my
angel.”

She made no other attempt
to tell him about the baby during their vacation, but after they
returned, she once again tried to tell him about it but failed.
Another week had passed by and she still waited for the right
moment.

***

“
Where are you taking
me?”

“
You’ll see; it’s a
surprise, and you can’t open your eyes. I’m watching
you!”

She giggled into her palms,
eyes closed. “You’re supposed to look at the road while driving,
not at me, silly.”

When he’d picked her up at
work that afternoon, Alessandro convinced her to go with him, but
she couldn’t see where he took her. She played along, got in the
car and let him take her away.

The car came to a stop.
Alessandro unbuckled her seat belt and helped her out.

“
Okay, keep walking…don’t
you peek, I warn you…keep walking…now we turn to the
right…wait…”

Tessa heard keys jingle,
then a door opened and she walked again directed by Alessandro’s
hands pressed on her shoulders. Her eyes shut tight, she assumed he
took her into a building, took the elevator and then walked down
the hall until they reached a door. He opened it.

Alessandro held her hand.
“Okay, wait a second, don’t move and don’t open your eyes. You get
in trouble if you peek!”

“
I’m not, but hurry up,
it’s not fair…”

She heard him walk away
from her, the sound of a bottle against ice and glass hitting on
glass.

“
How long? What is
it?”

“
Now, open your
eyes!”

At the same time the bottle
of champagne exploded and its cork hit the ceiling.

“
Welcome to my new office,
Ms. Cosma!”

She let out an excited
scream then laughed nervously.

“
Your new office? What do
you mean?”

She looked around the
place; a small area at the entry for the reception furnished with a
small half moon tall desk, a few leather chairs and small coffee
tables diagonal from the entrance, a big and luxuriant plant in the
corner by the large window; a conference room with an oval table
seating eight people; a large white screen projector on one of the
adjacent walls and a white board on the other. And last of all a
spacious office with metal and opaque glass furniture, very modern
and rich looking.

He handed her a glass,
clinked his against it and embraced her.

“
I resigned from the bank
and opened my own financial consulting firm, here in Bucharest. I
searched for an affordable office, hired a lawyer to work on all
documents, and I even had the first round of interviews for a new
secretary today.” He kissed the top of her nose, rubbing his body
against hers. “You want to apply for the job?” He took her glass
and his and put them next to the ice bucket, then hugged her again
rocking her from side to side.

“
Mister
Santinelli, you can’t afford me; besides I like to
separate business and pleasure.” She purred languorously, blinking
lazy lashes. She bit her lower lip and tugged at his
tie.

A groan escaped Alessandro.
He pressed against Tessa and squeezed her buttocks beneath her
skirt. He lifted her to the desk and pulled away with her panties
in hand. He shot Tessa a devious smile and then leaned down and
kissed her knee. His kisses worked their way to her inner thigh.
Her legs spread, invitingly. She opened his zipper and reached
inside his boxers, teasing, squeezing. He unbuttoned her shirt and
removed her bra. His mouth moved from one nipple to the other,
licking, biting, sucking. In one quick move, he pushed inside
her.

She arched her back and
closed her eyes in ecstasy.

“
Well, maybe
this
will help you change
your mind,” he whispered in her ear.

***

Tessa planned a trip to her
cabin up in the mountains for the weekend ahead. She felt it was
the right place and time to tell Alessandro about the baby and her
plans about it.

She met with a doctor and
discussed her options. He explained how an abortion was done, what
to expect and how to prepare for it.

Ever since she’d found out
she was pregnant she tried hard to feel something for the baby, to
love it and accept it every way possible. But she couldn’t. She
still didn’t touch her own belly—other than the quick brush of the
sponge during the showers or while applying body lotion
afterwards.

Once she decided upon
abortion, all she needed was to tell Alessandro and prepare for
it.

What if he rejected her?
What if he left her? What if he packed and disappeared forever from
her life? She couldn’t take it any longer. She couldn’t look him in
the eyes and keep her secret. No holding back. She needed to be
strong and go for it. No matter the consequences.
This is it. Today I will tell
him
.

***

Why is a bird chirping in
my room? Please, go away, please
. Tessa
stirred under the covers, then put a hand over her ear. The
chirping continued. There was a frog, she could swear the frog
croaked underneath her bed. How was that possible? She squinted one
eye then the other. No bird, no frog there; instead, the windows
were wide open and the forest’s tumult filled up the
air.

Because of the view, she
bought the house. Because of the serenity and intimacy with nature
at its core she wanted to call that place
hers
. From her bedroom window she saw
the top of the Carpathians between the clouds. She saw the soaring,
lively green fir, pine and spruce woodland that stood in silence
and guarded the mountains. She saw the wide valley with its tall,
never before touched grass that buzzed with bugs of all forms,
sizes and colors.

Sometimes deer came close,
searching for food, their ears pointed up straight and moving in
the direction of the sound. She’d held her breath and watched them
intently until they sprinted away as fast as they came. Sometimes
feisty squirrels came as close as her window sash and jolted with
quick, choppy moves, grabbing acorns then running away. She once
saw a brown bear nearby while on a winter vacation with several
friends. She remembered how frantically they blocked the doors with
chairs, turned on the lights outside and made tons of noise hoping
the bear would leave. The next morning, they traced his big
footprints rounding the cabin and the garbage bin that had been
flipped upside down.

Tessa sat straight in her
bed and stretched lazily. She and Alessandro had arrived the night
before at her cabin; unfortunately it was already dark and they
didn’t have a chance to hike or look around. She showed him the
inside of the cabin; two bedrooms upstairs and a bathroom, one
large living room opening into the kitchen, a tiny bathroom and
another tiny room downstairs. The walls, the floor and the stairs
were all covered in fir wood. From the former owner she’d bought
pretty much all the rustic furniture, large rugs and a bookcase
that covered the entire wall that was opposite from the stone
fireplace in the living room. She had loved the place for so long;
now it was hers and a feeling of belonging overwhelmed
her.

She flipped the covers away
and walked downstairs. She loved the cold wood floor underneath her
bare feet.

Where is
Alessandro?

She walked to the kitchen
still wearing Alessandro’s boxers and a t-shirt. She leaned against
the doorframe and loved what she saw. There he was, whistling and
moving in her kitchen like he knew where everything was placed, so
relaxed, so natural. He whisked eggs then flipped bread into the
toaster. He saw her when he turned around to place a bowl with
fresh fruit and mugs of coffee on the table.

“
Buongiorno
, amore
mio
,” he
said cheerfully and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Did you sleep
well?” he asked, going back to the stove to check on the
eggs.

“
Like a rock,” Tessa
answered. She grabbed a couple of strawberries.

“
Have a seat, breakfast is
ready.” He pulled the chair for her, then poured green tea in one
mug and coffee in the other one.

Tessa watched him and
couldn’t help but smile. She was finally in a relationship with a
man that took care of her, spoiled her, cooked for her. For the
first time she didn’t have to take the lead, just enjoy life and
feel safe and protected. Alessandro gave her what she always longed
for, but until now, never received. She finally understood what it
meant to be with a real man. She had convinced herself that she was
happy all those years with Daniel, that their relationship was the
best she could ever experience; how naïve to accept half
measure!

“
What’s that smile on your
face for?” Alessandro asked, rising an eyebrow.

“
Nothing, I was just
thinking…”

“
Okay, you know what
happens if you don’t tell.” He knelt, tickling her. Her infectious
laughter and her kicks didn’t stop him.

“
Stop, please stop, I’ll
tell,” she managed to say between hiccups.

Alessandro stopped, but
didn’t let go of her. She took his face in her palms and looked
directly in his eyes. “I…I smiled because you make me
happy…”

Tessa felt on top of the
world. She almost blurted out about the baby, but caught herself at
the last minute and with a shrug she said, “Let’s eat, we have a
long day ahead of us. I want to show you the surroundings. There is
a nearby clearing with a rivulet that cuts through it and if we are
lucky we’ll see deer, or wild boars or even brown bears.” She
widened her eyes and spread her fingers in the air pretending to be
one of the scary animals.

Alessandro stared back at
her. He drowned in her big green eyes. He loved feeling her soft
and warm palms against his face. She looked angelic with her
flushed cheeks, her innocent smile and her tousled long hair
falling down her back. When he kissed her, she kissed him back.
With the same passion and hunger. In just a few weeks his life had
changed so much, he couldn’t be happier. And all of this because of
the woman sitting in front of him, so pure, so kind, so
beautiful.

***

They hiked and took
pictures. Then they hiked more and stopped again for pictures. They
hiked again and finally arrived at the clearing. It looked as
beautiful as she remembered it; a multitude of colorful frail
flowers strewn everywhere, the water stream rushing down the
boulders. Fir trees started at the mountain’s base, and continued
all the way up the slope.

Tessa dropped her backpack
and knelt on the grass breathing hard. The last hundred meters or
so were on a steep hill and took a lot of effort to climb. She
reached for her canteen and gulped ice-cold water.