Hidden Mortality (15 page)

Cara shook her head at him, but opened the bedroom door and switched on the light. The room was empty. The bed was made. There were clothes on the two cane chairs and shoes on the floor. Knickknacks, cosmetics, jewelry or picture frames covered every surface. It was chaotic, but real. The room showed the other side of Cara’s character. It was a complete contrast from the neat appearance of the business side of the flat.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, Seth. This isn’t funny. You’ve scared me. With what’s happened in my life recently, I don’t need anything else strange going on.”

“It appears I’ve made a mistake. I’m so sorry.” Seth ran his hand over his head. How could he have been so wrong? He had wanted to be in Cara’s life. Instead, he had come in and tried to take over.

“I think you should go now. By the way, how did you get inside?”

“The back door was unlocked.” Seth walked towards the front door of the flat. He was about to leave when a noise came from the bedroom. Reopening the bedroom door, a yowling cat ran between his legs.

The wardrobe door stood ajar. A man was getting up from the floor. Seth didn’t bother to ask questions. He just grabbed him around the neck and dragged him from the room.

“Tony? What the hell are you doing here?” Cara yelled.

Chapter 16

Seth’s deadpan expression and silence were more terrifying than if he had been screaming abuse while he held Tony around the neck. If she didn’t do something soon, Seth would hurt her ex-lover. This was bizarre.

First, there was Seth’s arrival. That wasn’t good. She had been having unladylike thoughts all the way home. What the hell was going on? Tony’s lips were turning blue. Why was he even here?

“Let him go, Seth. Trust me, he’s harmless.”

Seth released his grip. Tony coughed. Then, he took a deep breath. As he rubbed his throat he glanced toward the door. Seth moved to block his way.

Tony’s shoulders slumped as he flopped into the chair. Leaning forward, he placed his hands against his forehead.

She couldn’t see his face. “That’s it, I’ve officially had enough,” Cara said. “You can both stay there while I put on some coffee.”

She peered across at the two men as she got out the mugs. Talk about chalk and cheese. Seth stood in his motorcycle boots, bike pants and a black top. His muscles bulged. The shaved head and unshaven face added to the menacing appearance.

Then there was Tony. She had always thought he had a good appearance. Against Seth, he looked scrawny. In the past, Tony had always taken pride in the immaculate exterior he portrayed to the world. His suit was creased. Laura would never have let him go out like that. It meant one thing. They’d separated.

Cara put down the tray and sat down opposite Tony. She glanced up at Seth. He took the hint and sat next to her.

“As I’m the only one who has the slightest idea of what is happening here, I’ll take charge.” Her breathing was steady and her heart wasn’t racing, this was good so far. “Why did you come, Tony?”

“I...” His voice cracked, but there were no tears in his eyes.

“You’re going to talk. If you don’t, I’ll phone the police and have you arrested. Don’t think I won’t with all that’s been happening to me.”

Tony’s hound-dog face and beautiful blue eyes showed themselves as usual. Using guilt to manipulate her might have worked in the past. In fact it had, but not now. She wasn’t that person anymore. She had loved him or so she had thought. The feelings in the past involving him had been so intense. Now she felt nothing. It was strange.

“Laura’s thrown me out.”

“I don’t mean to sound cruel but what did you expect. It doesn’t explain why you broke into my flat.” Cara watched, as both men picked up their coffees and drank. “I’m waiting for an answer.”

“You remembered. Two sugars.” Tony smiled at her.

“I’m a chef. I remember things like that. It’s business. Now, talk.” There was no way she was taking Tony back into her life. Their times together had been wonderful, but pain always followed. Even seeing him sitting here in a chair pushed her to an area she didn’t want to go. It was not just him she had lost, but her unborn baby.

“I just want to be near you, Cara.”

Tony and his needs had a way of making her feel so indispensable. In the past, she’d found it endearing. Tonight, it sounded desperate. In truth, that was what it had been all along.

“Stop waffling. What really happened, Tony?”

“It was a business trip to London. I didn’t mean anything to happen.”

“You never did. I’m surprised she kept taking you back. What I don’t understand is why you came here. You can’t believe I’d have a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.”

“I didn’t know where else to go. I turned up earlier. You were driving off so I followed you. I’m sorry. I waited for you to come back. The rear door was open, so I came in while you emptied the van. I just wanted to talk.”

“People usually ring a doorbell and ask. You’re probably right. I wouldn’t have let you inside.” Cara thought back to the other break-ins. “This isn’t the first time you’ve been here, is it? Have you been stalking me for weeks” She stared him straight in the eyes.

“I’ve been staying at a motel. She wouldn’t talk to me. I wanted to be somewhere that felt like a home. I never meant to scare you.”

“Well, you did. We tried twice and it didn’t work. Go back to Laura. If she’ll have you, don’t ever be stupid again. You need some help and I’m not the one to give it to you.” Cara hoped he would take the hint and go. He didn’t. Her heart was in her throat dealing with this. She didn’t want him to say anything else and bring back more memories of her time in hospital.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I only found out later. You have to be believe me I didn’t know about the baby.”

Her stomach turned at the way the conversation was going. Why would he do this to her? She took a deep breath. “That’s the past. You can’t change what’s done. I’ve moved on and so should you.”

“Have you?”

“Yes.” Cara reached over and took Seth’s hand in hers. She hoped he would go along with the pretense. He did more than that. He lifted her hand and kissed it. He looked straight at Tony and she could see the smaller man flinch under the gaze.

“I think you should leave,” Seth stated.

Tony started to add something, but must have thought better of it. They all stood and made their way to the front door.

“Cara. I’ve never meant to hurt you.”

“I know you believe that, but you did, Tony.”

Seth put his arm around her waist. He pulled her closer. Her body tingled in a good way where he touched. Tony looked at the two of them once more and was gone.

Seth took his arm away and walked back to the lounge. He crossed to the window and drew back the curtain. “I should go too. I’ll wait a little while for him to drive off.”

“No, don’t go. It’s late. You can sleep on the bed settee. What I mean is. I’d feel better if someone was here.”
How desperate did that sound?
Half an hour ago she yelled at him for turning up unannounced.

“You’d really feel better if I stayed?” He came back and towered above her. The question seemed so much more than that from intense look in his eyes and taut stance.

“Yes. Yes I would.” She might be an utter mess but she would hold it together for a bit longer. “I’m going to have a nightcap. I need one after all that’s gone on.” Cara went to the dresser in the lounge. She found a bottle of brandy and poured each of them large drinks. “Thanks for pretending and for following me. When I first saw you at the door, I was freaked out to say the least. Obviously I’m glad you picked up something was wrong.”

“If I’d been wrong about someone being here, you would be having me escorted away by the police.” Seth placed the glass down.

Silence. She wanted to break the ice between them.

“I need to tell you something about Tony.” Cara took a deep breath.

“There’s no need. Your past is your own. I’ve intruded on your present enough.”

He fidgeted and she wanted to grab his hand. She was making him uncomfortable and she wanted to do anything but that. “I want to tell you, Seth. I know we’ve only met recently. For some reason and I’m really not sure why, I would like you to know the real me.”

He smiled and sat back on the couch. His smile made her heart ache with need. Merlin jumped up on the couch next to Seth. Both of them peered at her. She took a deep breath.

“I was very young when I met Tony the first time. He was the older brother of a school friend. I was sixteen. He was twenty-two. I thought I was cool having an older boyfriend.” She took another sip of brandy. “I wasn’t the first one of my friends to have sex, but I was the first to get pregnant.”

Cara shook her head. Seth’s smile faded. His hands clenched into fists. “That’s when I found out he was engaged to Laura. Funny thing, she was pregnant too. The main difference was she was twenty-one. Both sets of parents adored her. They didn’t know about me. Shona came with me when I had the termination.”

“He came back into your life again?” Seth took her hand in his.

“Two years ago. His marriage was on the rocks. I thought we could make it work where we hadn’t the first time. I’m not proud of what I did. I knew I wasn’t his only indiscretion. His marriage was living on borrowed time. It didn’t make it right. The week he went back to Laura, I was admitted to hospital with an ectopic pregnancy. They removed my right tube and ovary. I lost a lot of blood and nearly died on the operating table. Tonight’s the first time I’ve seen him since then.”

Seth’s dark gray eyes watched her intently as he listened. Why was she telling him all of this? They hardly knew each other. She took another sip of brandy. She felt tears well up and she didn’t want to cry. Sometimes the thought that she had lost two children and might never have any more was too much.

As the tears started to flow, he pulled her into his arms, strong arms that could be so gentle. As she cried, he stroked her hair. Warmth spread through her body at the feeling of safety in his arms. Finally, her tears stopped. Why was this stranger she had let into her home being so kind?

“I feel like I’m losing so many things. There was Nanna, my Aunty Eileen and Shona. I can’t take much more. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you all my problems.” She was sniveling like a blubbering child. Her face was probably red and blotchy. Her nose running.

“I’d like to think things are going to change. Your life will improve from now on.” He took her chin in his hand and turned her face towards him.

“How? I attract disaster and pain like a magnet.” She sniffed.

“You attracted me. I hope I’m neither of those.”

Grabbing a tissue from the box on the table in front of them, he gently dabbed her tears away. He pulled another tissue from the box and handed it to her.

“Blow.” He raised one eyebrow as he looked at her.

Cara blew her nose. This wasn’t romantic. It was definitely not like any of the dreams involving him. She wanted him so much. She wanted comfort and solace. She wanted something, anything that wasn’t pain. She suddenly realized what he had said. He was attracted to her.

“You’re attracted to me?” Cara’s mouth hung open.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been too forward.”

“No, not at all. I’ve wanted to kiss you again since the dinner party. Oh hell, now I’m being forward.” Her lips quivered at the old-fashioned term and she tried not to laugh.

“I took advantage of your sadness that night. This time I was going to ask for a kiss. You answered my question.”

Leaning closer, his lips touched hers. It was so delicate at first, the sensation tickled. She kept her eyes open. She wanted to see him. She needed to believe he was really here. He was actually kissing her. She had thought about it, dreamed it so much.

He moved away. He touched her lips with his fingers, tracing their outline. His fingertips were rough, but touched so lightly it didn’t matter. He ran his fingers across her cheek. Then he moved away. She wanted more.

“What is it?” Cara asked, worried he regretted what had happened.

“I know you asked me to spend the night on the couch, but...”

Before he said anything else she interrupted, “I don’t want you to.” He would have no doubt how keen she was now.

Seth stood and pulled her up from the chair with both hands. His expression one of pure lust and she was drowning in it. A light kiss was all they had shared and yet she could tell from his leather bike pants he was aroused. The thought she was causing it made her hot between her legs.

Now, he kissed her passionately. His hands ran up and down her back as he pushed her body gently against his. His tongue searched the moist and welcoming interior of her mouth. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the passion of his kisses. Was this really happening?

It had been so long. What the hell was she doing? She pushed the thoughts away. He drew back from her and looked at her through half closed lids. She felt heady and intoxicated by him. From his appearance she was having the same effect. She took his hand and led him to her room. She took a deep breath, then bit her lower lip as they stood beside the bed silently looking at each other. Neither of them said a thing but savored the moment, anticipating what they were about to do.

He leaned forward and kissed her again, just a gentle brush across her lips that caused her to lean into him. He pulled away. One by one, he undid the buttons of her blouse and slipped it from her shoulders. He leant forward and placed a kiss on each shoulder. His hands went around her back. He pulled her close.

His mouth touched her neck. His tongue swirled around sending a sensation through her body causing her to shiver. The ache inside her so strong she knew only one thing would take it away. She nibbled on his earlobe. He let out a low groan. He pushed her away.

“If you do that again, this is going to be over a lot sooner than either of us would like.” His smoldering gaze met hers.

“I don’t want it to be over quickly,” she replied in a breathy voice that didn’t even sound like her.

“I was hoping you were going to say that.” He laughed. It was a beautiful sound. Now it was her turn to tower over him as he sat down and removed his motorcycle boots. She wanted to rip off his black t-shirt. Before she had a chance, he reached out and pulled her close so she was between his legs. His kisses meandered across her abdomen sending fluttering sensations throughout her body. His unshaven face tickled her sensitive skin. She ran her fingers over his head and loved the feel of his short hair.

Moving back, his hands went to the belt on her pants. He unbuckled it and pulled it free. Then he looked up at her as he slowly unzipped her zipper. She nodded as he slid her brown work pants over her hips. The slacks fell to the floor and she kicked them away. Looking across the room she caught a glimpse in the dressing table mirror of her comfy work knickers and a sensible bra. Suddenly the reality of what she looked like overwhelmed her. She hadn’t been naked with a man for so long.

She folded her arms across her chest and stared at the floor, embarrassed.