Hidden Scars (6 page)

The pastor greeted us before I had a chance to answer, then we chose a pew and sat.

People next to us smiled and welcomed us. When things began to quiet down, I nudged him. “Regrets about what?”

“Not having a big church wedding.”

I shook my head. “No. Marsha had a well-planned ceremony with all the trimmings: friends, family, beautiful dress, catered reception. What a disaster. The problem was, the plans were all Mom’s, from the choice of bridesmaids, to the music. By the time Marsha and Bob took their vows, I didn’t think either one of them were happy.”

He placed an arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze as the service began.

Later, over lunch, Chuck convinced me we could work out all the details and marry two days after my birthday. I needed a copy of my birth certificate. The original was in a metal box in Mom’s closet. I had no intentions of retrieving it.

Chuck took a pen from his shirt pocket and wrote on a clean napkin. “I’ll check in Jackson about a form for a replacement, see how long it’ll take to get here, and call you tomorrow night.”

I brushed a fingernail across my lower lip and stared out the restaurant window.

“What’s wrong, Morgan?”

“We’ve got to be careful with every detail and make sure my parents don’t get wind of our plans. They’ll do everything in their power to stop us, and don’t
ever
forget about Dad’s threat.”

Chuck gathered my hands in his. “Your father doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life in prison. He’s not going to kill me. He said it to scare you.”

“He put the gun in my face and swore to God he’d kill you before ever allowing us to be together.” The vision of that night replayed in my mind, and as if someone placed their hands around my throat, I couldn’t breathe.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

Once in the car, Chuck cradled my face with his hands and pressed his forehead against mine. “Morgan, do you trust me?”

“You know I do.”

“Then listen to me. Your parents are never going to hurt you again. They’ve done and said horrible things to you, but it’s time to take that power away from them. Once we’re married, whether they accept it or not, there’s nothing they can do about it, or to you. I won’t allow it. You’ve got a decision to make. Do you want to continue to give them the freedom to hurt you, or will you take a stand and say enough is enough? It won’t happen overnight, but with time, it will.”

Tears filled my eyes. “I know what you’re saying, but I’m afraid. You don’t know what it’s like. After so many years, how can I change? How do you face someone who’s been so cruel and say, ‘I’m not afraid of you anymore?’”

He removed his hands from my face, reached into his pocket for a handkerchief, and handed it to me. “You take it one step at a time. We’ll walk this road together.” He gently eased my head to his shoulder.

I’d cried so much over the pain my parents had caused. Now my tears fell as the truth sank in. I had someone on this earth who knew, understood, and loved me enough to stand, not beside me, but in front of me, to protect me. Finally, I began to acknowledge that the dark days and physical pain were coming to an end. For the first time in my life, I felt a sense of relief. God had answered my prayers.

When there were no more tears left, I raised my head from Chuck’s shoulder and drew in a deep breath. Black marks from my mascara smeared his handkerchief and shirt. I adjusted the rearview mirror, dabbed at my raccoonish smudged eyes, and then turned to him pointing at my face. “How can you love this?”

He touched me above my left breast with his finger. “I know your heart. I love who
you
are.”

I’d never experienced true, unconditional love from another human. Other than my salvation, Chuck was the greatest gift God had ever given me.

He smiled and ran the back of his hand down my cheek. “What day this week do you want to make a trip to Alabama? We’ll see a lawyer and find out all the legalities about getting married. I think it’ll help us both.”

We decided to make the trip Friday morning. I’d have to skip all my classes, but I needed to know my parents wouldn’t legally be able to erase the vows we’d be making to God and each other.

That evening, after Chuck left and the girls returned from their visits with parents and friends, the usual group met in Jennifer’s room to discuss our weekend adventures.

Mimi sat on the edge of the desk with her feet propped on the garbage can. “What’d you do this weekend, Morgan? You act like you’ve had a dose of nitrous oxide. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy. Did you hear from your secret admirer?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“That means you did hear from him.” The wastebasket slipped from under her feet and rolled across the floor. She sprang from the desk, picked up the spilled items, and continued with her questions. “Did y’all go out? What’s his name? What does he look like?”

“Good grief, Mimi, you’d think you were her mother instead of a friend,” Wendy scolded. “Leave her alone.”

I leaned over and whispered as if she were the only one privy to my secret. “No, I don’t mind telling you. He did call, and we went out Friday night. He’s very nice looking, tall, well-mannered, madly in love, and wants to marry me.”

Mimi curled up her lip and banged the metal can back in its place. “Right.”

The room burst into laughter. Mimi crossed her arms and scowled at us. The focus changed when Ann broke in talking about the latest love of her life. After another hour, and two large bags of potato chips, we each left, headed for our own rooms.

Later, Becky sauntered into my room and sat beside me on the bed. “What are you up to?”

I closed my notebook. “Homework, and I’m ready for a break.”

She took off her shoes and pushed herself farther on the bed. “I thought I’d visit you and find out what really happened this weekend.”

“Oh, you know the same old thing: washed my clothes, cleaned the room, watched television, slept, did homework, went to church.”

“Bless your heart. Well, you better not keep hanging onto that same old story. Some of the girls are ready to play cupid. Especially if your ‘secret admirer’ doesn’t hurry up and materialize.”

“Oh, please. Can’t you hold them off a little longer?”

“I’ll try, but sooner or later, you’ll have to produce Chuck or come up with some mighty big reason why you don’t date.”

“All I need is six more weeks.”

“Why six weeks?”

“I turn eighteen, remember? Besides,” I scrambled off the bed, closed the door, and reclaimed my spot next to her, “Chuck and I’ll be married by then, and I want you to be my maid of honor.”

Her mouth dropped open, but the room remained quiet for a split second before she squealed and shook me by the shoulders. Then she gave me a serious looking over. “Do your parents know?”

“No, and they can’t find out.” I couldn’t hold it in another second. I told her everything, including our plans to elope.

“Girl, I wouldn’t want to be in the same town with your parents when they find out. Aren’t you scared?”

“Of course I’m scared. That’s why we’ve planned a trip to Alabama this Friday to talk with a lawyer.”

Becky took her maid of honor role seriously and wanted to skip classes and go with us to Alabama. Chuck liked the idea and invited his best friend and best man, Kyle, along.

At seven Friday morning, Becky and I walked to the library parking lot, where Chuck and Kyle were waiting. After stopping for breakfast, we began the four-hour trip to Vernon, Alabama. Once we arrived, Chuck scanned the lawyers in the yellow pages. The third one listed, Patricia Bennett, said she could see him if he came in a half hour. By the time we found her office, we had less than fifteen minutes to wait in the parking lot. The food I’d eaten earlier now fought with my jittery stomach.

Kyle’s arm rested across the back of the front seat as he twisted to face Chuck. “Becky and I’ll wait out here while you two take care of business.”

“Are you ready?” Chuck opened his door and held it while I slid across the seat and stepped out. He laced his fingers with mine and smiled. “I love you, Morgan.”

His words chased away my uneasiness and bathed me with warm contentment. “I love you, too.”

“Then let’s go get some answers.” He led me down the pebbled sidewalk to the brick house, turned office.

Other than the receptionist, the waiting area was empty. Soon the lawyer emerged from the hallway, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor as she approached Chuck with her hand extended. She was tall and slender with the poise of a model, and directed us to her office, which didn’t match her feminine attributes at all. Everything from the brown leather chairs to the stuffed deer head starring down at me, screamed male.

After we were seated, Chuck went straight to the point. He told her about my parents’ disapproval of our marriage, what he understood about the legal age difference between the two states, and how we needed advice on how to prevent my parents from legally interfering once we were married.

“Well, you’re right about the age difference between the two states, and I can tell you, there’s little anyone can do once you two are married, especially if twenty-four hours have passed, and the marriage has been consummated.” She leaned forward, folded her hands upon the big mahogany desk. “However, you, Mr. Mathews, will need a parent’s signature, since you’re not twenty-one yet. The law requires you both to show a certified birth certificate, and you’ll each need to have a blood test. The test is not any different from what the state of Mississippi requires, so you could have it done at a Health Department there and bring a copy of the results with you.”

Once she answered all our questions, we thanked her for her time, and Chuck paid for her services.

When we stepped out of the building, he turned to me. “Do you feel better now?”

I shook my head. “Do you? Didn’t you hear her? You have to be twenty-one.”

“That’s not a problem. I’ll tell my father, and he’ll come with us.”

“Oh, no, you won’t! What if he goes straight to my parents?”

“My father may have his faults, but he’s not like yours. He and I are close. When I ask him, he’ll be happy for both of us. He and Mother always knew we’d get married someday.”

“They know about us?”

“Yes. Now can we go get something to eat? I’m starving.”

“Wait.” My feet remained firmly planted. “What does consummate mean?”

He snickered and placed an arm around my waist. “Come on. I’ll explain it later.”

The day had flown by, and now that I understood more about the legalities, I relaxed and enjoyed the trip back.

When we arrived on campus, Kyle drove to the far outer edge of the dorm parking lot. Becky, Chuck, and I got out. We said our good-byes and waited as Chuck got in the passenger seat. We waved and headed toward the dorm.

Becky came to a sudden stop. Her fingernails dug into my arm. “Morgan, there’s your mom and dad.”

“That’s not funny.” No sooner had the words escaped my mouth than I saw my parents driving toward us. I looked back where I’d last seen Chuck but knew he wouldn’t be there. I froze and couldn’t move. My mom got out of the car and walked slowly up to us. A tight smile strained her face. Her stare gripped me with fear.

“You just can’t stay away from Chuck Mathews, can you?” She reached for my elbow then pulled my hand to her face. “Where did you get this?” She pointed at my left ring finger.

I could hardly make my voice answer. “Out of a box of Cracker Jacks.”

My head jerked from the force of her blow. The side of my face burned.

She held me by both shoulders, forcing me to face her. “I asked you, where did you get the ring?”

I swallowed the bile in my mouth. “Out of a box of Cracker Jacks.”

The next blow landed on my left ear. Ringing accompanied the severe pain. I didn’t understand why the ring mattered, until I remembered the yellow plastic band resembled a wedding band. Chuck had told me next time it’d be the real thing.

She drew her hand back to slap me again, when I heard Becky’s shrill voice. “Honestly Mrs. Selby, she did get it out of a box. It was a prize.”

“You stay out of this, Becky Wilson. From the first time I laid my eyes on you, I’ve known what kind of girl you are.”

She turned her attention to Dad who sat in the car watching, smoking a cigarette. “Get her in the car. I’ll let Mrs. Henderson know she won’t be staying here tonight.”

I’m
not
getting in that car! Think, Morgan!
God, please—give me courage
.

Dad opened the car door and placed one foot on the pavement. With his jaw jacked out, face red, and neck veins bulging, he glared at me. He took a puff from his cigarette, inhaled then blew the smoke out slowly, never breaking eye contact. “Get in.”

I jumped at his harsh demand. My heart pounded, sending the sound of blood swooshing through both ears. I swallowed and attempted to steady my voice. “No.”

In one quick motion, he stood, thumped the cigarette from his hand, and slammed a fist against the top of the car. “What did you say to me?”

“I’m…not leaving here.” Teeth chattering. Unable to hold eye contact. Fear once again overruled my fleeting moment of courage.

He stalked closer. “You better not ever tell me no again.” He reached for my shoulder, grabbed a handful of material, and snatched me forward, bringing our faces close. His tobacco breath made me gag.

“Walk,” he growled. “Or I’ll drag you.”

My legs were like rubber. They kept wanting to collapse, but somehow I managed to get to the car. My brother, Wayne, sat in the backseat. Some girl I’d never seen before was with him.

“You’re gonna regret your actions, girl.” Dad’s voice was quieter now, but still filled with the promise of pain. “I’m gonna make you remember this night for the rest of your life. Whatever it takes, I’ll make sure Chuck Mathews is a thing of the past.”

He opened the front passenger door, grasped my neck, and shoved me inside. I fell sprawling across the front seat.

“Sit down!”

I scooted into a sitting position.