Hide My Memories: A Romantic Suspense Thriller Series (Hide Me Series Book 1) (3 page)

Katerina tipped her beer and took a long swallow, enjoying the pungent taste on her tongue. She hadn't had a beer in ages. She didn't feel any better yet, but it was only her first drink. The images still rolled around in the back of her mind and she did her best to ignore them. She said a silent prayer that they would go away soon and tipped her beer bottle again, finishing her first beer in only a few moments.

Liquid brown eyes.
Blonde ponytail. Red lipstick.

"You go, Kat," Jordan said appreciatively, signaling the waiter right back to their table and ordering Katerina another beer. "This is just what you need."

I hope so
, Katerina thought taking the second beer. As she looked around the room she noticed a man at the bar watching her. Great, just what she wanted to deal with tonight. She locked eyes with him, hoping to shame him into looking away, but as their gazes met a kind of calm settled over her. She gasped involuntarily at the connection. Suddenly she didn't want him to look away.

Something blocked her vision and she looked up. A man, walking towards the table, his eyes on Jordan. He was tall and broad through the shoulders. She wanted to look around him, but restrained herself.

He walked right up to their table and leaned on it, ignoring her. "Jordan, where the hell you been, pretty lady? You owe me a dance," he said.

Jordan giggled. "Hi Brent, this is my friend Katerina."

Brent nodded in Katerina's direction, then pulled Jordan out of her chair towards the dance floor. Jordan threw a look back at Katerina. Katerina nodded and waved her on, then looked back for her mystery man. He was gone. The barstool he had been sitting on was empty. An uncharacteristic wave of disappointment flooded through her. She lifted her head to see where he had gone when a shadow fell over her table.

She looked at the newcomer, preparing herself to gently reject his advances, but it was the mystery man from the bar. Up close she could tell he was very handsome. He wore a gentle smile that hinted at two dimples on his right cheek. His eyes were a deep, piercing blue that cut right through her. He looked older than her, but only by a few years. He was tall, and built-looking, under his plain blue T-shirt. A typical cop. But she found herself wanting to talk to him. She didn’t have anything against cops; she just didn’t seek them out like Jordan did. She felt a warmth spreading through her body at his lopsided smile. She smiled back.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she whispered back, suddenly feeling ridiculous. "Would you like to sit down?" she asked.

He nodded and sat in Jordan’s chair. "I'm West," he said, extending his hand.

Katerina shook his hand, noting his warm, soft grip and the calluses on his fingers. "Wes?"

He shook his head, and his smile deepened. The two dimples on his right cheek deepened as well, charming Katerina in an instant. She'd never seen someone with two dimples on one side and none on the other. She thought it made him look incredibly handsome in a sweet sort of way.

"Not Wes, West. Like the direction."

Katerina thought about it.
West
. "What an unusual name."

"Yeah, it's actually my middle name, but I'm not a big fan of my first name so I go by my middle name instead." Katerina's eyes widened at this fact, because she went by her middle name also.

"What's your first name?" she asked him.

West grimaced and hesitated. Katerina laughed. "It's that bad, huh?" She stared at him hard, then ventured a guess. "Opie?"

Confusion entered his eyes. Katerina laughed again, feeling good for the first time all day. She took another swallow of her beer before she rescued him. "Your first name. Is it Opie?"

Understanding crossed his face and he laughed too. The laugh turned his face from handsome into extraordinary. She felt the bottom drop out of her heart in a swooping sensation.

"No, not Opie," he responded.

She peered at him again, mock concentration on her face. "Dick?" He laughed again and shook his head. She tapped her finger against her chin and looked towards the ceiling. Fastening her eyes on him again she exclaimed, "I know, Adolf. You look like an Adolf."

His face went blank, unreadable. He leaned close to her and said, "My grandfather's name was Adolf."

Katerina recoiled, appalled at herself. A blush skidded across her cheeks. "I'm sorry!"

He laughed and held up his hands. "I'm just kidding. His name wasn’t Adolf."

Katerina's mouth dropped open and he laughed again. She didn’t know whether to feel angry or relieved or amused.

He held up his hands in a placating gesture. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it. My first name is Gerald. There's nothing wrong with it, I just never really liked it."

Katerina recovered. She smiled and even laughed a little. She'd asked for it and he delivered. That was actually pretty good. She took another long swallow of her beer and appraised him, happy he had come to sit down at her table.

"Me too," she said.

"What?" he asked, looking confused again.

"I go by my middle name also. I don't like my first name either."

"What's your first name?"

"I'm not telling. Besides, you don’t even know the name I prefer yet. I’d hate to tell you my real first name and then that’s what you start calling me."

West nodded. “Fair enough. What’s your name?”

“Katerina.”

“Katerina,”  West repeated to himself, a thoughtful look on his face. West fixed the full force of his gaze on her, and once again she was struck by his handsomeness. “That’s a beautiful name.”

“Thank you,” Katerina breathed, her heart beating quickly.

"Would you like to dance?" West asked, his eyes flicking to the dance floor and back.

Katerina didn't even have to consider. Anything to keep this conversation from ending. Again she was struck by the fact that she felt the best she had all day. Thank goodness for beer and conversation. She took his hand and let him lead her onto the dance floor, not even looking for Jordan. She was having a good time finally and she was glad Jordan had brought her.

The song playing was a slow country ballad that Katerina didn't recognize. West stopped at an open space on the dance floor and pulled her around to face him. She stepped willingly into the circle of his arms and allowed herself to melt into him. She liked him. And she had just met him. This never happened to her but she was so glad it was happening tonight. He smelled good. Like strong soap and pleasant spice. Their bodies fit together nicely, even though she only came up to his chest. She hated being short, usually. Right now she didn't mind. She could feel his corded muscles under her hand and pressed against her stomach. She leaned into him, not bothering to wonder why and how this felt so right, so quickly.

"You're here with your friend?" he asked.

"Yeah, she wanted to take me out tonight. I don't get out much."

"How come?"

She shrugged in his arms. "I work too much I guess."

He laughed. "I know that story. I'm here with my friend too. He talked me into coming tonight because he says I work too much."

She grinned up into his face, about to ask him what he did, when the song ended. A boot-kicker came on and the people on the dance floor jostled them, trying to get into place to line dance.

"I don't know how to line dance," Katerina told him.

"Okay, let's sit this one out if you want to." He led her off the dance floor and back to her table. Katerina took the last swallow of her beer and realized she needed to head to the ladies room.

"I need to go to the restroom," she said shyly, pointing aimlessly. He smiled and pointed in the opposite direction. "It's that way"

"Oh, thanks."

"Before you go, could I…" He looked down and a slightly sheepish grin surfaced on his face. "Can I get your number? You know, just in case the bar catches on fire and we have to evacuate and we get lost and don't see each other again?"

Katerina noticed a slight reddening on his cheeks and thought it was adorable. He was shy? Embarrassed? She wouldn't have imagined it. She would've thought he was a smooth operator all the way around. A lady-killer. But unless the blush was nothing more than a stellar act, he wasn't very good at this.

She hadn’t given her number out in years. When the plan was pre-med, and then medical school, she had steadfastly refused to date, knowing men could only distract her. But hadn’t she just admitted to Jordan that medical school was no longer a guarantee? That it was almost an impossibility? So what was stopping her from dating? From giving out her number? Nothing.

"Sure." She pulled a pen out of her purse and dug out a piece of scratch paper, quickly jotting down her cell phone number and handing it to him.

He took it with a smile and held out a card to her. "Just in case you want mine."

She took it and thrust it in her purse without looking at it. "Thanks. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." She hurried to the bathroom, cursing her small bladder.

Katerina hurried to the bathroom, trying to be as quick as possible. After only a moment, she realized she was feeling poorly again. As quickly as the weights of the images had seemed to lift from her before, they settled back in place like they deserved to be there.
The images!
That was why she’d felt so good earlier! Her mind had belonged to her again. She tried to think back to when they’d first disappeared, but she couldn’t quite do it. She was being distracted.

Liquid brown eyes.
Blonde ponytail. Red lipstick.

Katerina groaned in the stall, heedless of who might hear her. She'd felt so good just a few short moments before. Why wouldn't these horrible pictures in her mind go away? Why were they haunting her? Who were these women? What happened to them? Why was she seeing it? She raked her fingernails down her cheeks, feeling her sanity slipping. Her mind seemed slightly fuzzy, indicating that she still had a bit of a buzz from the beers she had drank, so it hadn’t been the beer that had held the freak show at bay for a few blessed moments.

She pushed out of the stall and splashed water on her face, noting the dark bags under her eyes. She couldn't live like this. It had only been a day, but she couldn't take this for even one more hour. A black cloud of dread settled over her head. She could almost see it. These pictures would kill her if they didn't go away. And she was supposed to start a new job tomorrow. One in which concentration and a clear head were paramount. But she had neither.
Was this how people went crazy?

A woman jostled her at the mirror and she stepped back. Jordan. She had to go find Jordan and ask for a ride home.

She pushed out of the bathroom and walked purposefully back to her table. West was there still. She felt bad that she was going to abandon him, right as they were getting to know each other, but what could she do? Maybe a good night’s sleep would make all this go away.

He looked up and waved at her, smiling. As their eyes locked, calm settled back on Katerina. She felt better. Like she could finally take a deep breath again. She did, sucking in smoky air. She didn't care. She wanted oxygen. It was making her feel better. She managed to smile back at West weakly.

When she got to the table, West looked at her with concern. "Are you okay?"

She sank into her chair and considered. She felt decent now. Thank goodness. "Yeah, I think I am. We should dance." Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to be pressed up against him again.

West smiled, surprise in his eyes, but led her back onto the dance floor where the jukebox spouted John Legend singing All of Me. She swayed to the music before he even pulled her into his arms. But then he did, and she sank into them more willingly than the first time. She laid her head on his chest, hoping he didn't think she was too forward. Suddenly she just wanted to be close to him, this big, strong man she’d just met who made her feel so good. They moved around the dance floor and the next time Katerina opened her eyes she saw Jordan, dancing a short way away. Jordan flashed her a huge smile and a thumbs up. Katerina smiled back, knowing she wasn't doing this to make Jordan happy. She was making herself happy.

"Are you sure you're okay?" West murmured into her hair. "You seem, I don't know, sad or uncomfortable."

Katerina looked up into his face, surprised. "You can tell that about me already?"

He smiled. "I can see it in your eyes."

Katerina's guard dropped away completely as she contemplated what this man she had just met said. She felt hugely connected with him, like she had known him forever, like he was her best friend and protector. He smiled down at her and his perfectly-carved lips drew her to him like a magnet. Reveling in her clear mind, she refused to think about what she was about to do. She refused to contemplate if it was a good idea or not. Instead, she acted.

She stood on her tip toes and curled a hand around the back of his neck, urging his head towards hers. She saw surprise in his eyes for only a fleeting moment, and then a vast rightness and acute longing replaced it. He inclined his head and slowly maneuvered his lips towards hers. The moment stretched and lengthened. She felt an unspoken question in his unhurried pace.
Are you sure?
She tried to signal back with her eyes.
I’m positive.
And then his lips met hers and her eyes slid closed. A bright blue flare of good and right and everything-she’d-ever-wanted exploded in her brain, but she allowed it to pass without contemplation. She was more interested in how her body was responding. Her nipples instantly hardened and she could feel every press and friction-full slide they made under her shirt and against his chest. Her lower belly flooded with heat and pulsed hotly. Sweet tingles ran up and down her spine. She heard herself making faint noises of longing in the back of her throat. His lips were exactly the right combination of soft and firm, with his stubble rasping deliciously on her skin. She opened her lips, inviting him in with a quick dart of her tongue into his mouth. He responded quickly, his own tongue meeting hers. Her nose filled with his clean scent. His mouth tasted like beer. She curled her fingers in his hair and lost herself completely in the moment, losing touch with the music, the bar, the fact that a world existed outside of West and Katerina. Katerina and West.

The kiss went on for what seemed like an eternity. They'd stopped dancing. They were standing stock still on the dance floor, with couples swirling around them. He brought a hand up into her hair and plunged it in, seeming to delight in the sensation. Katerina found her breath coming heavier, and she felt like she couldn't get enough. Hesitantly at first, she ground her center against him, thrilled beyond belief when she felt a thick length behind his zipper.

She never remembered being this turned on by anyone in her entire life. Not even in high school when the hormones flowed like water. She was thrilled that he wanted her too.

Finally, he broke the kiss and stared deep into her eyes. "Want to get out of here? Maybe get a cup of coffee? Or take a walk?"

Katerina took a moment to catch her breath. She did want to get out of here. But she didn't want to take a walk. She wanted to take this man someplace private and have her way with him. A small part of her mind clambered at this information. That wasn't who she was. That wasn't what she did. And besides, she didn't even know him. And he was someone that she could date. Someone that she could build a relationship with. Did she want to take the chance of ruining that with one night of sex? Hot as it probably would be?

Another part of her spoke up. Why would a night of sex ruin anything? He didn't seem like a player. There was no guarantee he would call her if she didn't take him home. And there was no guarantee he wouldn't call her if she did.

And it was unlikely he was some sort of rapist or murderer. Who would try to pick up victims at a cop bar? He was probably a cop, anyway. Not that cops were always 100% law-abiding, but she had always had an incredible intuition about people. She had always known, even when she was a little girl, whether someone was a good person or not. It was a gift she had. All she got from this guy was goodness.

Katerina opened her mouth, not sure what she was going to say. "Why don't we go to your place?"

Something flashed in his eyes and at first she couldn't identify it, but as he pulled back slightly and searched for words, she knew what it was. It was rejection. He didn't want to take her to his place. Crushing disappointment and embarrassment flooded her. She dropped her eyes and all at once the horrible events of the day crashed in on her, heavier than ever. Hot tears prickled behind her eyes.

She pulled away from him. "Never mind, it was a stupid idea. I've got to get out of here anyway, I have to, ah, work in the morning."

Katerina stepped through the crowd, looking desperately for Jordan. If she had to, she would walk home but hopefully she didn't have to. She could hear West yelling behind her. She walked faster and ducked behind a couple, hoping to get away from him.

She was going to cry, and soon, and she didn't want him to see it. If only she hadn't given him her number already. She never wanted to see him again. There were a few things she was sensitive about. Her complete lack of money was one of them. Being rejected was another. Her day had put her on such edge that she had even less ability than normal to deal with it. Desperation clotted her brain. Where was Jordan?

Finally, she recognized Jordan's blonde curls, pressed against a man in a corner. She rushed over, interrupting them.

"Jordan, please can you take me home right now."

"Katerina, what is going on? What did that guy do?"

"Nothing. I don’t feel good. I want to get out of here right now."

Jordan threw a glance at the man she’d been all over. He raised his chin. "I'll drive you both."

Katerina tugged on Jordan's hands. "No, Jordan, please. I don't feel good and I want to be alone. Just drop me off at home and then you can come back."

"Okay."

Jordan turned to the man and whispered something in his ear, then followed Katerina outside. Once the door closed behind them, Katerina breathed a sigh of relief, happy that West hadn't found her before she got out of the bar. She never wanted to see him again in her life. She wanted to forget this night and day had ever happened.

Liquid brown eyes.
Blonde ponytail. Red lipstick.