Hideous Love: The Story of the Girl Who Wrote Frankenstein (13 page)

He calls them the new school of poetry,

which he claims began in excess

like most revolutions, but now

is “a real aspiration after real nature

and original fancy remains

that calls to mind

the finer times of the English Muse.”

My love’s work will now

gain some publicity. And Byron

had so fervently urged Shelley

that he needed publicity this summer.

I am as delighted as a kitten

licking her milk-stained paws.

A bit of sunlight seeps into

what has been darkness as of late.

Hunt and Shelley strike up

a fine friendship and Shelley

visits him.

I continue with
Frankenstein
,

sometimes with the aid of Shelley.

He smiths my language

and offers suggestions

that push the narrative forward.

More than four chapters complete,

I begin to see this book take shape,

less like the monster it describes

pieced together from scraps,

but more as something of a whole.

I dream of a home

like a proper mouse hole

where we can retire to,

that might have a river or a lake.

One that would not contain Claire.

She wears on me,

now eight months pregnant.

She feels a bit like prisoners’ chains,

increasingly difficult to bear.

Claire still writes Lord Byron,

but he is more silent than Fanny.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

.....................................................................

HARRIET

December 1816

Harriet’s body was discovered

floating in the Serpentine

in Hyde Park in London

on December 10.

I feel beyond remorse

and reconciliation right now.

I think that this will haunt me

for the rest of my days.

It is as though I helped

push her into the cold depths

and feel directly to blame

for some of her misery.

Harriet’s last letter to her sister Eliza

says that she forgives Shelley

and wants him to enjoy the happiness

she could not without him.

She wishes her daughter

Ianthe to remain with her sister.

Nothing was explicitly indicated

about her son, Charles.

Harriet said she felt so wretched and tired

and lowered in everyone’s opinion

that she could not drag on

a miserable existence.

She lost hope for the future.

The coroner found

that she was again pregnant,

and the baby I do not believe

could have been Shelley’s.

I wish we could have

prevented this.

Shelley takes on an attitude

much like my father did

after the suicide of dear Fanny.

He blames Harriet’s family

for her problems and says

Harriet became a prostitute.

There is no proof of this,

but I do not contradict Shelley.

Shelley files to get custody

of his two children,

who remain in the care

of Harriet’s sister, Eliza.

Shelley shows little promise

of gaining custody however

because we are not married.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

.....................................................................

MARRIAGE

December 30, 1816

We marry at the handsome

Wren church in London, much

to the pleasure of my father,

who now welcomes

Shelley and me back

into his Skinner Street home.

So after years of exile

now that I am married

I am once again

my father’s daughter.

Whether this will strengthen

the case against Harriet’s

family, the Westbrooks,

for custody of Shelley’s children

remains a large question mark.

I am ambivalent as the wind

about getting married.

In one great gust I am thrilled

to be united with my love

and that my children

will now be legitimate

and my father will accept us.

But blown around in a second gale

I feel that this has come about

at too great a cost

and may be tainted

like a poison broth

from the start.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

.....................................................................

MY ESCAPE

Winter 1816–1817

My writing desk

shelters me like

a cave in a thunderstorm.

As the torrents

of life drop hail

and sleet at my door

I retreat to the world

of my story.

I find serenity

as I sculpt my plot

and search out my words.

And for a time

I forget the chaos

and devastation

that surrounds me.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

.....................................................................

TOGETHER

Winter 1817

Does art flourish more

when the artist works

alone in a room with

just her thoughts and her pen

and little distraction

or is it communal contribution

that births the best work?

Shelley has struggled

with this dichotomy

his whole career.

I welcome my love’s

input and instruction.

I sometimes

wish for a world

with less personal turmoil

but know that

I would have less

emotional experience

from which to draw

my characters.

Shelley inserts the sentence,

“It is even possible

that the train of my ideas

might never have received

that fatal impulse which

led me to my ruin,”

into my manuscript

and the paragraph springs to life.

I wrap my arms

around his shoulders.

“That is precisely

what I intended to say,”

I tell him.

He smiles. “I know.

You left a tiny hole

for me to fill,

and I delight

in patching your garden.”

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

.....................................................................

ALBA

January 12, 1817

Claire gives birth today

to a beautiful baby girl

she calls Alba after

the nickname we gave

to Lord Byron, Albe (for L. B.)

when we were in Geneva.

Claire hopes this baby

will bring her closer

to Byron, but he still

sends no reply

to her letters.

Bryon acknowledges the news

of the birth through Shelley

and requests that Alba’s

name be changed to

Clare Allegra Byron,

so we shall call her Allegra.

Claire takes to motherhood,

like flares illuminate the sky.

She revels in every moment

of it, just as I do.

Sadly my wish for a house

absentia
Claire will not be.

Shelley believes we are responsible

for Claire and her little one

and after what happened

to Fanny and Harriet

I do not offer much complaint.

We lease a house in Marlow,

just far enough away from London

to feel the countryside.

Shelley has a library, and I have a garden.

It is however not a quiet existence.

We entertain many visitors

chief among them

the Hunts, Leigh and Marianne

and their many children,

and Thomas Love Peacock,

who has taken a liking

to Claire and proposed to her.

She turned him down flat,

even though it would be

anyone’s guess what her

other prospects might be.

Unfortunately,

all her hope and ambition

is still tangled up

in Byron

like one caught

in the snares

of a bear trap.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

.....................................................................

PRETENSE

Winter 1817

Although the truth

of Allegra

is as well known

among our friends

as is her name, we act

as though the baby belongs

to someone else.

And that Claire is a maiden.

When my father

and stepmother come to call

we allege that Allegra

is a cousin of the Hunts

that Claire helps care for.

I do not enjoy

the deceit I must

employ for the benefit

of Claire. I believe this lying

digs a moat between Shelley and me

where he always bolsters

Claire’s position

and protects her like he’s the king

of her castle, and I play the opposition.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

.....................................................................

DEVELOPING A STORY

Winter 1817

I retreat to writing.

In my book