Read HIGHER (The Indigo Lounge Series) Online
Authors: Zara Cox
HIGHER (The Indigo Lounge Series)
HIGHER
THE INDIGO LOUNGE SERIES #2
BY
ZARA COX
“You…you
killed
her?”
Of the three emotional grenades Zach
Savage had just thrown at her feet, this was the one that had wreaked the most
devastation. Not that she wasn’t shattered by the other two…
Farrah was my wife…
We were married for a day…
Bethany Green shook her head,
unable to fathom how to begin to process those pieces of information the man to
whom she’d confessed her love had just flattened her with. Her mind was locked
on this last statement.
Around her crickets chirped in
the dark Moroccan night, uncaring that two people stood frozen in the middle of
what should’ve been a sultry paradise, but was instead ground zero of epic
proportions.
Zach had paled alarmingly
following his stark confession, his vibrant golden beauty turned into a taut,
cold statue. He looked shell-shocked, as if his own revelation had stunned the
hell out of him.
She was equally stunned. Stunned
that she wasn’t fleeing his presence as fast her legs could carry her. He’d
just confessed to…to…
“Say something!” The words were
propelled from the depths of her ravaged soul, the consuming need for an answer
greater than the fear that she could be in danger from Zachary Savage.
He jerked out of his stasis. Grey
eyes pierced through the darkness at her and he suddenly lunged for her.
“No!” Bethany scuttled out of
reach, narrowly missing the shallow pool to her left. Renewed fear slammed into
her as she adjusted her position to avoid yet another looming threat.
Zach checked himself and froze,
looking from the water to her face.
“Bethany, come here.”
She looked from his tormented expression
to the mound of stones behind her. The beautiful shrine he’d built to his dead
wife.
Oh God. Oh God. “Oh God.”
“Bethany!” His voice was
sharpening, his focus strengthening as determination and that iron control began
to reassert itself.
“Tell me what you meant.”
His eyes darkened until she could
only see black holes, fraught with chaotic despair. A breeze wove through the
garden. They both shivered.
“I can’t. It’s…Bethany, I can’t
tell you anything more than I already have. I’ve already said too much…”
The ice that had engulfed her
soul hardened several degrees more. “You can’t? You brought me to the place
where you’ve built a
shrine
to your
dead wife and you can’t tell me how she died? How
you killed her
? Please, God, tell me you meant that metaphorically?”
The words jerked out of her and
dropped into the yawning space between them.
Zach made a sound, like a wounded
animal, before he twisted away from her and dragged his hand through his hair. “God,
this whole thing is a fucking mess. I shouldn’t…you shouldn’t have…”
“I shouldn’t have what? Watched
you sleep? Been awake to hear you talking to another woman in your dreams?”
He whirled back round. “That
wasn’t what I meant,” he bit out.
“Then tell me what the hell you
meant!”
“I shouldn’t have let you this
deep under my skin. I shouldn’t have let myself crave you this desperately. And
you shouldn’t have told me…”
She took another shaky step back,
her heart hammering hard enough to snap her rips in half. “I shouldn’t have
told you what? That I loved you? That’s what you mean, isn’t it?” Her lips
barely moved. Her fingers felt numb. The stone she’d half-forgotten she held,
the one that formed part of Zach’s monument to his wife, fell from her
nerveless fingers.
Eyes, bleak but no less intense,
stared back at her. Then his gaze dropped to the stone at her feet.
Wordlessly, he picked it up, walked
to the mound and placed it back where it belonged. The gentleness with which he
did so shattered her heart smash a few more million pieces.
He faced her. Opened his mouth.
No words came out. He sucked in a heavy breath and his shoulders hunched.
She could barely work her vocal
cords to speak. “Message received.” She shook her head in derision. “And you’re
right. We’ve known each other what, a handful of days? How could I possibly be
in love with you? How could I possibly believe that I can’t imagine my life
without you?” The words burned her throat so badly she was surprised she could
swallow around the pain ricocheting through her heart.
He made another rough sound.
“Baby—”
“Are you really a killer, Zach?”
He flinched and a tiny part of her felt hope for that action; a foolish part of
her that wanted something to hold on to in a world suddenly gone nuts.
I should be running!
But she couldn’t force her feet
to move. All she could see when she looked at him was the man who’d made love
to her like she was part of his soul; who’d taken the patience to help her
overcome her fear of water.
Then she looked at the stones,
and a shiver coursed down her spine. The evidence of death was too hard to
refute.
She took a step back. “Don’t
worry, Zach, you can hang on to your secrets. Stay here with your precious
shrine and your sacred memories.” She started to walk down the centre marble
walkway that divided the pools and realised she’d have to walk past him.
His eyes narrowed on her as he
saw her hesitance and her heartbeat tripled. She couldn’t risk him touching her
for fear she would break into a million useless pieces.
She stared down into the shallow
pool and fought the rising panic. On top of everything else, she couldn’t deal
with the terror that stemmed from her fear of water. Not right now.
Holding her breath, she stepped
into the water and felt it close over her ankle. Panic flared higher. Her legs
started to turn to jelly and her arms flailed.
Zach stepped toward her. She
looked at him. At the man who’d been so gentle with her, who’d called her brave
and worshipped her body over and over this past week.
The man who’d just confessed to killing his wife
.
She darted sideways before he
could touch her.
Feeling solid tiles beneath her
feet, she ventured another step. Then another.
And then she was running.
“Bethany!”
She didn’t stop until she was in
the bedroom. Grabbing her weekender, she shoved as much of her belongings as she
could find into the bag.
“What the hell do you think
you’re doing?”
She froze as Zach entered the
room and stalked to where she’d just slammed the bag shut.
She licked her lips and sucked in
a breath. Here in the well-lit bedroom, she couldn’t miss the fact that he was
only wearing boxers. His sleek body gleamed under the golden lights, and even
in the midst of despair, something inside flared to life.
That, on top of having her life
turned upside down it was just too much to bear.
Hot, choking tears scoured her
throat and pricked her eyes. Hands shaking, she tugged the button of her jeans
and shoved her feet into her heeled wedges.
“You can physically stop me from leaving
if you want to. But I know you won’t. I know that because the only reason I’d
stay is if you tell me what you meant. And we both know that’s not going to
happen. Don’t we, Zach?”
His eyes hardened. “Emotional blackmail
doesn’t work with me.”
“And secrets don’t work with me!
You know what I went through with Chris.”
He growled. “Do not compare me to
that asshole.”
Her fingers tightened around the
handle of her bag. “Then prove you’re different from him!”
Anger flamed through his eyes and
his fists clenched. But he remained silent.
Pain raked her insides raw.
“That’s what I thought. Goodbye, Zach.”
She yanked her bag off the bed
and stalked past him.
At the last moment, he grabbed
her arms, lifted her clean off her feet and pressed her against the bedroom wall.
His large body imprinted hers from head to toe, his large body bracketing hers,
reminding her how powerful he was, how overwhelmingly male, even as his large
hands gently cradled her face.
A fierce, indomitable light
burned in his eyes as he stared deep into hers.
“You’re seriously deluded if you
think that, baby. We’re not over. Not by a long shot.”
New York, One Week Later
“He killed her. He actually said
that?”
“Yes. He did.”
“But…I don’t understand.” Keely
looked at a loss, the way she had since Bethany had finally broken down and
blurted out the scalding, condemning words screeching through her brain.
Bethany’s fingers convulsed
around the cushion in her hand. Consciously relaxing her fingers, she hugged the
velvet square to her chest, blinked hard, and concentrated on just breathing.
Her eyeballs were gritty and aching with the tears she’d shed over the last
seven days. Her ass was numb from being permanently glued to the living room
sofa, and her heart thudded every now and then - normally when her phone rang -
with some mocking semblance of beating.
All because of Zachary Savage.
Keely made another incoherent
sound of disbelief and shook her head. She started to speak but Bethany
interrupted.
“Well, he said, quote: ‘Farah was
my wife. We were married for one day. Then I killed her.’”
Keely flinched, then reached for
the bottle of red she’d brought with her. “Jesus.” She poured and took a huge
gulp. “I can’t believe you kept this to yourself for a fucking week before you
told me.”
“I didn’t…I couldn’t…” she heaved
in a huge breath. “The way he was with me, Keel. No one’s ever taken care of me
like that. I couldn’t cope with the fact that he could do anything like that…that
he could…Oh God!”
Keely patted her knee. “I’m
sorry, baby girl,” she said softly.
“Please don’t do that. It’ll make
me cry and I sure as hell have no fucking tears left.” Even as she spoke, her
eyes brimmed. “Shit. I hate myself for doing this. I feel so pathetic. So
fucking weak. After what he said, I still want him. I can’t stop thinking about
him.” She realized her whole body was trembling and she breathed in deep. The
damn pain just grew larger. “God, how did I end up here?”
“You took a chance.”
“And it backfired horribly.”
For once her friend didn’t have a
quick come back. She just nodded and drank some more. But Bethany could see the
questions in her eyes, the puzzlement in the slight shake of her head every now
and then.
Yeah, join the fucking club.
Angrily, she brushed away the
tears and reached for her glass of wine. With a defiant toss of her head, she
drained the full glass and set it down to find Keely watching her, one perfectly
plucked eyebrow cocked.
“Umm…atta girl?”
“Yeah. Go me.”
“Bethany, maybe he didn’t mean it
literally? Maybe—”
“You weren’t there. You didn’t
see the guilt on his face. The anguish. He looked as though his heart had been
ripped out. He didn’t just blurt it out, he
confessed
it. Trust me, he meant it. And you know what that said about me? That I’d been
sleeping with a man I had no clue about.”
“But you don’t really think he
did that, do you?
Killed someone
?”
Bethany jumped up, her insides
roiling with pain and heartache. “I don’t know! I’ve asked myself that same
question a thousand times. And yes, I asked him. He told me he couldn’t talk
about it!”
“Why the fuck not?”
Her heart did that thing it’d
perfected over the last seven days every time she thought of Zach. It
bungee-jumped from her chest into her stomach, set itself on fire and streaked
about like a firework. “Because he was so damned ripped up about it? Because he
loved her more than life itself and things went horribly wrong between them? I
was merely the woman he was fucking six ways to Sunday at every opportunity who
just happened to find out his dark secret at a weak moment.”
She clawed her hand through her
hair and barely felt the pain of her tingling scalp at the rough movement.
“Bottom line is, I found out, it scared the hell out of him, and he clammed up.
And I got the hell out of there.”
“How did you leave Marrakech?”
“He had his driver take me to the
airport and his pilot flew me home.”
“Okay, that kinda floors me a
bit. But you trusted your instinct with him, B, or you would never have ditched
the Indigo Lounge trip to go with him.”
The reminder that had been both
her pain and her hope through this hellish week, threatened to overwhelm her
again. “I know. Which is why I can’t think straight! My gut tells me he’s
incapable of…whatever he did, that there’s more to the confession. But my
head…I can’t unhear the words.” She shuddered.
Her phone buzzed loudly. They
both jumped and stared at the number on the screen.
“Looks like
he
not ready to give up either,” Keely murmured. “Should I turn it
off?”
Bethany swallowed, shrugged, and
tried to keep breathing. More than anything she wanted to pick up that phone
and hear his deep, dark, pulse-destroying voice again. Seven days had felt like
a million lifetimes. She wanted to hear him call her
Bethany
in that husky, growly way of his that promised insanely
decadent things. She wanted to see his gorgeous face, run her thumb over his
lower lip the way he loved her to do. Hell, she wanted to climb into him and
never come down.
Too damn bad.
She backed away from the ringing
phone, her heart now making a slightly more valiant effort to do its job.
“He’ll go away,” she replied shakily.
“I hear wishful thinking but I
also hear yearning and denial. Which is it, baby girl?” Keely eyed her, then
eyed the phone as if she wanted to incinerate it with just her thoughts.
“You didn’t come here expecting
coherency from me. Jesus, am I not allowed some leeway to be confused out of my
goddamned mind?”
Contrition gentled Keely’s face.
“Of course. I’m sorry.”
They both stopped as the phone
cut off mid-ring. A second later, a text message beeped.
Bethany’s knees gave way and she
subsided back onto the sofa. Keely eyed her again and snatched the phone off
the table.
She read the message, then sucked
in a deep breath.
“What?” Bethany blurted, unable
to stop her belly from flipping over.
Silently, Keely handed the phone
over.
We need to talk. But until you’re ready I need to know that you’re
okay. I’ll respect your decision for me to stay away but only up to a point,
Bethany. Avoiding my calls will not make me go away. I think we both know that.
Jesus. Zachary Savage couldn’t
help his arrogance even as he
respected
her decision. There was a mild threat to the text that promised punishment for
her silence.
Punishment. As in, retreating to
nurse her completely shattered heart and reeling senses would only be tolerated
up to a point
.
Sliding her finger across the
interactive surface, she tapped her keypad.
I’m not okay, Zach. I think we both know *that*. And I don’t see the
point of talking when you won’t answer the questions that are creating the
problems between us. Hell, is there even an *us*? Or was there always going to
be me, blowing my stupid feelings out of proportions and you taking advantage
of that?
She pressed SEND and dropped the
phone beside her.
“More wine?” Keely asked.
“Why not?” She held out her glass
and took another big, fortifying gulp. Getting hammered was a stupid idea,
especially after the first time she’d replied to Zach’s incessant attempts to
contact her all week. The likelihood of her weakness and pain bleeding through
was very high, but her own silence was eating away inside like acid.
“Feel better?” Keely asked.
“Not even a little bit. But keep
it coming.”
“What—” she stopped at the sound
of another text message. “He’s fucking persistent. Gotta give him that.”
Bethany made a sound between a
snort and a sob. “You don’t know the half of it.” She picked up her phone and
read the message.
Her shaky sigh had Keely’s eyes
narrowing. “What did he say?”
“He’s calling in thirty seconds.
He wants me to pick up. God.”
“And are you going to?”
Bethany typed
No
, pressed send and held up the phone
to Keely.
Her best friend slowly nodded her
approval. “You know that’s bought you like one minute, of course. But hey, I’m
happy to kick his ass for you?”
Bethany attempted a smile.
“Thanks, sweetie. I appreciate it.”
The phone rang. They both ignored
it. “Okay, let’s talk about your birthday,” Keely said brightly. “We could hit
Shades
, that new club downtown. I
organised a premium tequila taster there last month for some bigwigs from
Mexico. The owner was so impressed he put me on the permanent guest list. Or we
can do karaoke? You missed a hell of a Fourth of July Karaoke Special at…Oh
fuck, what did I say?” The touch of gentleness was fading from her eyes to be
replaced by exasperation as tears welled up in Bethany’s eyes.
“It’s not you. Zach told me not
to make any plans for my birthday…Christ, I’m sorry. This is just a little unbearable.”
“Don’t fucking apologize. If he
wanted to make your birthday special, then he shouldn’t have confessed to being
a
possible
murdering psycho.”
Bethany’s flinch made Keely groan. “Fuck. I’m sorry but I kinda wanna tear his
head off right now. In fact,” she snatched the phone off the table and jumped
up.
“Keely! What are you doing?”
“Sorry, B, this needs to be
done.” She hit dial and put it on speaker. Bethany insides turned over as she
listened to the loud ringing.
“Bethany.”
Dear Lord. His voice hasn’t
changed. Of course it hadn’t. It still dripped sex, danger and dark secrets.
And despite every heart-wrenching emotion she’d been through, it still curled
so very effortlessly around her heart and held on with a vice-like grip.
“No such luck, Savage. You’re
stuck with the wicked stepmother.” There was a dark delight in Keely’s voice
that a tiny part of Bethany was proud of.
“Put her on,” Bethany heard him
say. “Now, please.”
“No can do, hot shot. Now, listen
up. Remember what I said about coming after you with a blunt instrument if you
hurt my girl?”
Deathly silence.
“Well guess what? You’ve just
been upgraded to a hot poker stick up the ass if you don’t stop calling.”
“Let me speak to Bethany.”
“You’re still not getting the
message, Savage. Stop. Calling. Or fucking else.”
More silence. Maintained long
enough for Keely to purse her lips and raise an eyebrow at the phone.
Then, “How is she?” Even from the
distance, the gravity of his voice made Bethany’s breath catch. God, he was so
good at that. So good at making her believe he cared.
Except how could he genuinely
care about her when he refused to give her the one thing she’d told him time
and again would make things right between them? A little access. Was that too
much to ask for?
“Tell me how she is. Please.”
Right before her eyes, she saw
Keely waver and begin to crumble. Bethany wanted to tell her that she’d
graduated to the big leagues because Zach Savage didn’t beg. But she was too
busy holding her breath so she could catch every single thing he said.
“She’s fucking
peachy
. What do you expect?” Keely
attempted to snap but it came out half-hearted. When her eyes met Bethany’s she
rolled hers, and shrugged in an I’m-not-quite-sure-how-to-handle-this way.
Another first from her friend.
Bethany’s eyes widened.
As if realizing just how easily
she’d succumbed to Zach Savage’s wizardry, Keely shook her head. “Was that all?
Because we have lives to be getting on with and wild birthday parties to be
planning.”
“Whose party?” he snapped, the
solemnity gone from his voice. Keely’s eyes narrowed.
“None of your business.”
“
Miss Benson
—”
“Oh, is that tone supposed to
frighten me? Try again, Savage. Or no, actually, don’t try again. Give it up.
Or I will make good on my promise.”
She stabbed the end button and
sucked in a breath. Striding over to the sofa, she collapsed beside Bethany and
looked over at her with a slightly stunned understanding.
“I’m getting why you’ve been
avoiding him. He can get kinda intense when he doesn’t get his way, huh?”
A shiver went down Bethany’s
spine as she recalled just how intense Zach could be. He’d pursued her with a
single-minded focus from the moment he’d seen her. Giving in had been an
exhilarating experience and a crash course in diving in off the deep end.
“Yeah. A little.”
Keely blew out a breath. “So,
what now?”
Bethany took her friend’s hand
and squeezed it tight. “I really want to high-five you right now for having my
back. But I’m terrified you’ve just made things worse.”
