Highland Love Song (DeWinter's Song 2) (30 page)

"Do you mean he did this the day you brought my trunks to Davinsham?"

"Tis of little matter. It's all but healed."

"That's not all our cousin did, Arrian," Michael spoke up with indignation. "He broke Mactavish's ribs and beat him with his whip."

Before Arrian could voice her horror at what Ian had done, the big Scot picked her up and placed her on her saddle. "Don't fret about me, m'lady. It's in the past."

She stared at him in disbelief, angry that Mactavish had been hurt because of her.

With Michael at her side, Arrian raced across the hills and toward the sandy beach. Once she reached the sea, she galloped her horse through the splashing waves, trying to cool her temper.

Michael caught up with her and grabbed her reins, bringing her to a halt. "Do you want to break your neck, Arrian?"

"I don't care. No one is what I thought they were, and nothing makes sense anymore. There are undercurrents and intrigues everywhere. What kind of country is this?"

"I like the Highlands."

"I'm not so certain I do, Michael. There is a hardness about the people here. I had this romantic image in my mind about this country. Dreams die hard, I suppose."

Michael's attention was caught by a flock of geese flying across the sky. "Arrian, people are much the same here as they are in England. Unfortunately, you became caught in a feud and saw the worst of both sides. As for dreams, put them aside and live in this world."

"I have come to believe that Ian is evil." She shivered. "When I think how close I came to marrying him, it frightens me. Even from a distance he has been able to reach out to me and destroy my happiness."

"What about Warrick?"

Arrian slid down from her horse and walked along the beach. "He's a complicated man with deeply rooted anger and distrust. I had hoped I could somehow help him, but now I know I cannot."

She still wondered what Louise Robertson meant to Warrick, but she did not mention it to her brother. "Let us shake off our mood, little brother. Let's ride to the meadow where the heather is in bloom."

Michael was glad she was distracted. "I'll race you."

Her eyes brightened by his challenge. "You could never beat me. Remember, I won the Ravenworth race."

Warrick was supervising the roofing of a cottage when he glanced up to see Arrian and her brother racing across the hill. He envied the closeness they shared.

When Arrian and her brother disappeared over a hill, Warrick went back to work. He invented reasons to stay away from the castle to give Arrian time to adjust to her new life.

He would do anything to keep her near him, even if it meant staying away from her.

29

A stern-faced Mrs. Haddington served dinner in the small informal dining room.

"Is his lordship not to join us?" Michael inquired.

"As to that, I don't know, m'lord. He's no' come home, and he's sent no word."

Arrian lowered her eyes so Michael wouldn't see how hurt she was. "The fish is delicious, Haddy," she said, trying to sound unconcerned. "I have become partial to salmon since coming to the Highlands."

The housekeeper paused in the doorway. "Cook wants particularly ta please you, m'lady, with the wee one coming on."

Michael waited until Mrs. Haddington withdrew before he spoke. "I wonder what can be keeping Warrick? We've hardly seen him since we arrived."

"I'm sure I don't know," Arrian replied, wondering if he was with Louise Robertson.

After dinner, Arrian went upstairs to her bedroom and Elspeth helped her undress and get into bed. "You look weary, m'lady. I don't think you should ride horseback until after the baby comes."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. From now on I'll go about in the carriage."

After she was in bed and Elspeth withdrew, Arrian stared out the window at the darkened night. She had thought Warrick was happy about the baby, but now she wasn't too sure.

Her eyes were heavy. Quiet fell over the castle and she drifted to sleep. Arrian didn't know what time it was when she heard the sounds from the connecting room of someone bumping into furniture, followed by a muttered oath.

She lit a candle, slid out of bed, and went to the sitting room. The light of the candle spilled into the darkened corners and she saw Warrick standing by the window.

He turned to her with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry if I disturbed your sleep. I know how you need your rest."

"I'm not a doll that will break, Warrick." She glanced down at the glass in his hand and saw he was drinking.

"I don't usually drink alone, but you see I have a problem I can't solve and this helps dull the pain."

"Pain, my lord—are you ill?"

He stared at her. "Perhaps I used the wrong choice of words."

"May I help?"

"No, you can't help, Arrian. You are the problem."

She blinked, not understanding his harsh words. "Are you drunk, Warrick?"

"Yes, I am, but I'll be a lot drunker before I'm finished."

"I know you are having regrets because of me."

He took another drink before looking down at her. "Well, you will soon be out of my life and you can have your precious Ian, though God only knows why you'd want him."

"Warrick, if it weren't for my baby, you wouldn't have come to the
Nightingale
that day, would you?"

He took the candle from her and placed it on a table. He then moved to the window and motioned for her to join him there. "Tell me, Arrian, what you see out there?"

The bedroom she had occupied before had faced the seaward side of the castle. Here she saw the view of the mountains and valleys. He stood behind her, his breath touching her cheek.

"I see that the night hides the beauty of the countryside. I suppose what you want me to say is that I see only Drummond land, Warrick."

"That's right, Arrian." He turned her to face him. "Now what do you see?"

"I see the chief of the Drummonds."

"Yes, and you love the chief of the Maclvors. In a moment of weakness I forgot you were a distant daughter of the Maclvors clan. I should never have brought you back among us."

She swallowed painfully and her eyes stung from his cruel words. "The fault lies with you, Warrick. It was you who came storming onto my father's ship demanding your rights."

"I could do no less—I had to give your child my name. I owe much to you and your family, because you saved me from Lord Thorndike's judgment, which would surely have gone against me. It's a bitter thing to be indebted to one's enemies, Arrian."

"You see no enemy here, Warrick. There is only a woman who is a fool. I thought we could at least be amiable to each other. It seems I was wrong. Why did you ask me to return and allow me to think you wanted the baby?"

He turned away from her to gaze out the window. "I didn't want your lover to raise a child of Drummond blood."

"Your child," she reminded him.

It seemed he hadn't heard her words. "If the child is a boy, shall I proudly parade him before my people? 'Here,' shall I say, 'is your future chief. Forget that within him flows the blood of Maclvors.'"

She stared at his rigid back while trying to keep control over her emotions. She turned toward her room, not wanting to hear more.

Before she reached the door Warrick caught up with her and grabbed her arm. "Don't leave yet. There is more I'd say to you."

"You have said quite enough. You think by punishing me that you are striking out at Ian. Your acts are like a doubled-edged sword, my lord. You have had your revenge."

He pulled her forward, bringing her face up to his. "When I touch you, do you think of him? What eats away at me is that even now I want you." He closed his eyes for a moment. "If there were a way, I would drive all thoughts of him from your mind. Then perhaps I could find peace, Arrian."

"You have created your own torment, Warrick. Only you can find your release."

His arms circled her, and he pulled her tightly against his body. "I'll drive Ian Maclvors out of your mind."

His mouth crushed against hers with a grinding force. Arrian could taste the brandy on his lips. His kiss was meant to punish rather than to show affection. She struggled to be free of him, but he grabbed her head and held her still, thus deepening the kiss.

Warrick released her so suddenly that she staggered backward, bumping into a chair. He shook his head as if to clear it. "Forgive me. It was not my intent to force myself on you."

"I've forgiven you many things, Warrick, but I'll not be so quick to forget what you have said tonight. You are cruel and heartless. I wish I never had to see you again."

She rushed into her room and slammed the door behind her. She almost wanted him to come after her, but there was only silence on the other side of the door.

Arrian flung open her trunk, wildly rummaging inside until she found her royal blue riding habit. She was more angry than hurt as she dressed in the darkness. She had to get out of here so she could think clearly.

She met no one on her way out of the house, but when she reached the stables, she found Tam giving the horses fresh oats.

He looked startled when he saw Arrian at this time of night. "Can I help ye, m'lady?"

"Yes, Tam, saddle a horse for me. I'm going riding."

He thought it strange that Lady Arrian should be riding so late at night, and alone, but it was not for him to question. He obediently did as she asked. "Looks like it might rain," he observed, hoping to dissuade her.

She merely smiled. Silently Tam helped her onto the saddle and watched as she rode away, her horse's hooves striking sparks against the cobbles.

Unknown to Arrian, Warrick watched her from the window. When he saw her ride into the night, he muttered under his breath and ran downstairs. "Saddle my horse," he barked at Tam, "and make haste about it."

Arrian had no direction in mind as she urged her horse into a swift gallop. The night was black, without moon or stars to guide her. On she rode, her mind feeling as if it were shattering into millions of pieces. She could remember every cruel word Warrick had uttered to her tonight. She had been such a fool to return to Ironworth. Her father had tried to warn her, but she had been insistent on having her own way.

Thinking it would be too cool to ride toward the sea, Arrian turned the horse in the direction of the mountains. She splashed through a stream and raced up the steep embankment.

The wind struck suddenly, and drops of rain pelted her face. Still she rode onward.

In the distance Arrian could hear the sound of another rider, and she set her chin with determination. No one had to tell her that Warrick had come after her. She slapped the reins, and the horse’s long strides took her up a hill. So desperate was her need to escape Warrick, she did not see the stone wall that lurked in the darkness. She heard Warrick call a warning, but it was too late.

Arrian saw the outline of the wall and pulled back on the reins. The horse came to a quick halt, but she plummeted through the air, hit the wall, and crumpled to the wet ground.

She cried out in pain as she tried to rise.

Warrick was beside her immediately, feeling her body for broken bones. "You little fool. Did you want to kill yourself?"

"I don't care," she moaned, doubling over as another pain ripped through her body. "But the baby," she gasped. "I have harmed my baby."

"Oh, God," he cried out in anguish, lifting her into his arms and trying to shield her against the driving rain. "What have I done?"

Arrian's tears of pain mixed with the rain as he carried her to his horse and mounted, holding her tightly against him.

He nudged Titus forward, racing toward the castle. "My horse," Arrian managed to say between pains.

"I'll send Tam for him."

He wrapped his arms around her and rested his face against hers. "Do you know where you are hurt?"

"The baby," she groaned. She bit her lip to keep from crying out. "Get me to Elspeth. She'll know what to do. Hurry, please!"

Warrick rode like a madman. When he reached Ironworth, he dismounted and carried her into the house and up the stairs, hating himself for the pain she was suffering. She had ridden into the night to escape him.

Arrian stiffened as another pain tore at her insides.

Warrick laid her gently on the bed while Elspeth appeared at his side. "What have you done to m'lady?" she asked, already beginning to strip off Arrian's wet riding habit.

Warrick looked on Arrian's pale face. "Will she lose the child?"

"I don't know. Leave me to look after her. Later I'll want to know what happened."

Reluctantly Warrick left the room. He would keep the long vigil throughout the night. To him, this was God's punishment. It would be his fault if Arrian died. He picked up the brandy bottle and flung it into the fireplace, where it smashed against the iron grate. Never had he felt such helplessness and anguish.

One hour passed, and then two. He was conscious only of the ticking of the clock and the moans of pain that came from Arrian's room.

Elspeth came through the connecting doors to find Warrick sitting by the window staring into the early dawn. The eyes he raised to the maid were red rimmed, and he had the stubble of a beard on his face.

"She lost the baby, didn't she?"

Elspeth's eyes were filled with compassion, for it was obvious that Lord Warrick had suffered greatly. "Yes, she did, m'lord. I'm sorry."

"Arrian's going to die, isn't she?"

"Of course not." Elspeth went to him and poured him a steaming cup of coffee from the pot Haddy had brought in earlier. "Here, drink this."

Obediently he raised the cup to his lips. "It's my fault, you know. I'm responsible for the death of the child. She was trying to get away from me."

"M'lady said you'd be blaming yourself, m'lord, and I'm to impress on you that you are not to blame."

He buried his face in his hands. "Even after this, she thinks of my feelings."

"That's the way she's always been, m'lord. I'm wondering why you don't know this about her."

"Did she ask to see me?"

"No. Lord Michael is with her now. It's best you leave them alone. He'll comfort her."

Warrick nodded and went silently to his own room. Shortly afterwards he left the house and rode into the hills. He did not come back that day or the next. Alone, with no one to comfort him, he grieved for the baby that was lost to him.

Michael sat beside his sister, wiping her tears and talking to her soothingly. "You'll have other children."

She rolled toward the window, watching the sun bathe the room in its glory, feeling empty inside. "I don't want another child. I wanted this one."

Michael could do no more than clasp her hand and wait for her tears to dry.

It wasn't until three days later that Warrick knocked on Arrian's door, but Elspeth sadly sent him away because Arrian refused to see him.

Each day he came to her door, but the answer was always the same—Arrian would not see him.

After a week he no longer went to her room.

Arrian's health improved, and she was able to come downstairs. Michael watched her move from a chair to the window and back.

"You are restless. I believe that's a sign that you are fully recovered."

"I have something I've been wanting to say to you and I only now gathered the courage."

"You want to return to Ravenworth."

"Yes, as soon as I can travel."

Michael caught her hand and forced her to look at him. "Are you certain this is what you want? You know if you go through with this you may never see Warrick again. Can you live with that?"