Authors: Hannah Howell
“I understand now, Lucas,” she said and touched a kiss to his forehead since he still had not lifted his face to hers.
“Och, nay, ye dinnae.”
She leaned back a little when he finally looked at her. “There is more?”
“Aye, the minute I kenned the truth, I wanted ye back. I wanted ye in my bed, and in my home. But more importantly, I wanted ye back in my heart. Ye had ne’er really left it but I had pushed ye far into a corner so that ye couldnae torment me and make me think of all I had lost. My scattered memories made me see ye as guilty, my pride made me verra reluctant to set eyes on ye again, and my heart, with a great deal of effort on my part, was determined to become as hard as rock. But it wasnae an easy battle because the other thing I grieved for was the fact that I believed I loved a woman with no honor.” He studied her as she sat so very still on his lap thinking over all he had just said.
“Ye love me?”
“Aye, lass. I couldnae kill it completely and that made me want to hate ye if that makes any sense.”
Tears burning in her eyes, Katerina flung her arms around his neck. “It makes perfect sense.”
“Weel, if ye think so ’tis fine with me as it makes me look less of an ass.”
“It makes sense to me, Lucas, because I thought I loved a mon who had no faith in me, no trust, and no respect, a mon who could believe that I would make wild love with him one night and have him cruelly beaten to death the next.”
Lucas pulled her tight into his arms and pressed his face against her breasts, embarrassed by the sudden sting of unmanly tears in his eyes. “Are ye sure, lass?” He grinned when he felt her chest heave with a sigh of exasperation.
“I have been sure from the beginning. The only thing that has changed from time to time was whether I really wished to be in love with ye.” She took his face between her
hands and turned it up to hers. “Lucas, I swear upon my mother’s grave that I would ne’er betray ye and ne’er willingly hurt ye.”
He brushed a kiss over her mouth. “I ken it, love. I think I have always kenned it. I was just a wee bit mad for a while. I was like some daft child who burns himself once and after that is willing to shiver in the darkness rather than make a fire.”
“Too many kicks to the head.”
“A verra good excuse. I am sorry I hurt ye,” he added softly.
“Ah, weel, ’tis done and mended. It would be nice to be able to go back to the start and do it right but—” She squeaked in surprise when he suddenly set her from his lap, stood up and grabbed her by the hand, then headed out of the room, dragging her behind him. “What is it? What are we doing?”
“Ye will see.”
Katerina said nothing, just watched in curiosity as he gathered blankets, a basket with food and wine, and then went outside to call for his horse. She laughed a little when he tossed her up into the saddle and mounted behind her for she was beginning to get an idea of what he was up to. For just one moment when they reached the banks of the loch all she could see was the tragedy that had almost taken place there, the spot where they had both almost died. She hastily shook those ghosts away as Lucas helped her down from the horse.
“Now, I believe we were right here when we first made love,” he said as he spread out the blanket on a mossy patch of ground beneath a huge pine tree.
She looked around, realized he was exactly right, and smiled at him. “Exactly right, my fine, braw knight. I can e’en see the mark ye made on the tree when ye stuck your dagger into it.”
“Come here then,” he said, bowing slightly and then helping her to sit down on the blanket even though she did not really need any help and they both knew it. “We shall begin again, right here, right now. Mayhap we can also banish whate’er ghosts still linger here.”
“I just did,” she said as she poured them each some wine.
“Clever lass.”
Lucas set out the food and fed her as they talked of what needed to be done at Dunlochan, their families and their future. They even had a rousing discussion about what to name their first five children. Lucas reassured her that his decision to remain at Dunlochan was still firm and no great sacrifice as his father was still hale and would be the laird of Donncoill for many more years, God willing. Replete and made sleepy by the summer sun, they both lay back on the blanket and stared up at the unusually bright summer sky.
“That was a fine start to our new beginning,” he said.
“It was indeed, husband,” agreed Katerina, “althoughye did forget the one other thing we did whilst we were here.”
“Ah, aye, making love.”
“Quite so.”
“Wild love if I recall your words correctly.”
“The best kind.”
“I cannae argue with that.”
“Of course it was night with a big fat moon. Verra romantic.” She grinned when he
grunted at the word
romantic
.
“Remember, this is a new beginning. We dinnae have to do everything exactly as we did then.”
“Nay? Weel, we have already made it different in a way.” She rested her hand on her stomach. “I am with bairn.”
He covered her hand with his. “And a good thing too as it means I have already set one mistake right.”
“What mistake was that?” She sat up to remove her boots so that she could wriggle her toes in the moss and grass.
“I should have left ye pregnant back then. That would have made me come back for ye sooner and I wouldnae have let such fool ideas get set so firmly in my muddled brain.”
“Were ye thinking of getting me with child when ye brought me here that night?” She gave him the fiercest scowl she could when he just grinned. “How devious of ye.”
“I thought so,” he said proudly.
“I cannae believe ye would e’en think of such a plan. Were ye thinking that would make it so that I would have to marry ye?”
That was my plan. I was going to ravish ye repeatedly until my seed took root and then graciously marry ye. It was all carefully thought out.”
“If it was all so carefully thought out why didnae ye do it?”
“Because I got all soft and stupid after taking your virginity. It was a bit painful for ye at first and I didnae want to give ye any more pain. So, I left ye be and made my plans for the next time.”
“Ravish me?”
“Repeatedly. But ye were a virgin and I kenned I could easily hurt ye.”
For moment, Katerina just sat quietly listening to the sounds of the animals that lived near the loch and watching the sun sparkle on the water. The word
ravish
kept tickling her mind stirring up some very enticing images. It was, however, the middle of the day and unusually bright out. On the other hand, she mused, she would soon start to round out with the child she carried and she would become more modest. Right now her figure was in very good shape, everything firm and in the right place. She would not be that way for too many years, why not be a little daring?
“Lucas?”
“Aye, love?”
“I am nay a virgin anymore.”
It took Lucas only a moment to recognize the invitation she had just tossed at him. He grabbed the scruff of her dress and pulled her down. Once she was flat on her back, he moved on top of her.
“Savage,” she murmured as she grabbed hold of his warrior braids and pulled his head down to hers.
“Your savage,” he said against her lips.
“All mine. So, when does this ravishing begin?”
“Patience, woman. There is one more thing that must be done, something I wish I had done a year ago. Something that may have helped us avoid at least some of the trouble we have found ourselves in.”
“And what would that be?” she asked as she began to unlace his shirt.
Tell ye how much I love ye, how ye are the light in my soul, and my perfect mate.”
“I was as big a coward as ye were, husband. So, I tell ye now, here in the place where we first joined our bodies, that I love ye, my fine silver-eyed savage, and I always shall.”
He kissed her, trying to put all the beautiful words he was unable to say into his kiss.
“Oh my, but that was lovely,” whispered Katerina, her heart pounding with a dangerous mixture of desire and tenderness. “Now, about that ravishing,” she drawled.
Lucas laughed and kissed her again.
Summer, 1483
“I have this one secured. Ye can catch the other one.”
Lucas laughed as he strode after his daughter Morainn. The tiny girl was moving along at an impressive speed for someone who had not been walking for very long. Her thick black curls were bouncing madly, and he knew she had a big smile on her angelic little face. He also knew that she was going to bellow as loudly as her brother was now when he caught her. Even as he reached out for Morainn, Lucas glanced back to see Katerina struggling to put a writhing Lachann back into the cart while Annie, Robbie, and Patrick all grinned. He shook his head, thinking that they should have brought more people with them on this journey just to herd the children. Lucas reached out and grasped his little daughter by the waist.
“Nay!” Morainn said, her tiny body going rigid as Lucas caught her up into his arms.
“Now, my wee lassie,
I
say aye and I am your father,” said Lucas.
When Morainn looked up at him with her wide eyes—eyes exactly like her mother’s, one fat tear slowly winding its way down her cheek—Lucas sighed. He was glad Katerina was able to be stern with their daughter because he found it the most difficult thing he had ever done each time he tried. Worse, despite not having lived even two full years yet, Morainn already seemed to know exactly how to twist her father around her tiny finger. Only the fact that she also seemed to be able to do the same to every man and boy at Dunlochan saved him from feeling utterly humiliated by that weakness.
He set her down on her feet and pointed toward the cart in what he felt was a commanding manner. Morainn looked at him; looked at his finger for a long, silent moment; and then looked toward the cart. Her brother Lachann stood in the cart, finally quiet, his pale hair tousled by the wind and his thumb stuck firmly in his mouth as he watched Morainn. Morainn bellowed out her brother’s name and started toward the cart at her usual curl-bouncing speed. Lucas strode after her, strongly suspecting that this was how she would approach everything in her life.
It would undoubtedly age him before his time
, he thought as he helped her up into the cart.
“’Tis my fervent hope that that wee gallop o’er the hills they just indulged in will keep them still and quiet for the rest of the journey,” Katerina said as she helped Annie tuck blankets around the children.
“Still, mayhap, but ne’er quiet,” Lucas said as Morainn and Lachann began to talk to each other in the language only they could understand. “Ye have to wonder just what they have to talk about.”
“About how annoying their parents are?” Katerina grinned and kissed Lucas on the cheek as he helped her into the cart.
“Ah, aye, those great beasties who keep restricting their freedom.” He kissed Katerina on the forehead. “We will be at Glascreag ere the sun sets, love.”
“It hasnae been such a long journey. Truly. Nay for me leastwise,” she added after glancing at the twins and gently attempting to tidy Lachann’s windblown curls. “I just hope your brother kens what will soon be let loose upon his household.”
“Recall all the tales he has told of his own two lads Aiden and Eric, and e’en a few about Angus’s wee Meghan,” Lucas said as he mounted his horse. “I suspicion he is weel
accustomed to it all.”
As Donald started the cart moving, Katerina watched Lucas ride up to join Robbie and Patrick. She never tired of watching the man she had married. Despite the occasional stiffness in his leg, his body was a sheer joy to watch. Somehow, even when he limped a little, he appeared all that could be graceful in a big, strong man.
And he gave her healthy, strong bairns, she thought with a smile as she looked at her children. Katerina still found it hard to believe that she had been safely delivered of twins, a girl and a boy who were an intriguing mix of her and Lucas. Lachann had Katerina’s fair hair and eyes like Lucas’s, while Morainn had her father’s thick black hair and eyes like her mother’s. They were also in grave danger of being horribly spoiled by everyone at Dunlochan. Katerina hoped Lucas’s brother and his wife would not find the lively pair too great a trial, for she wanted Lucas and Artan to be willing to have their families visit each other at every opportunity. Wives getting with child, work, the weather, and bairns too small for such a journey caused enough necessary separation between the brothers.
“Are ye nervous then, Katerina?” asked Annie quietly after she saw that the twins were more asleep than awake.
“A wee bit,” Katerina reluctantly admitted. “I have corresponded with Artan’s wife but have yet to meet the woman. Soon we will be face to face as will our bairns. I want it all to be perfect, yet bairns can sometimes disrupt things.”
Annie nodded. ’That they can, but ye have me and I am certain there are nursemaids aplenty at Glascreag.”
“Of course there are.” Katerina grimaced. “Tis just that I ken how eager Lucas has been to see his brother again and I dinnae want anything to go wrong. Work, women bearing bairns, and wee bairns too young to travel yet cause them to be apart quite often enough as it is. They dinnae need any added reasons to forgo a visit now and then. And I ken that ’tis Lucas’s dearest wish that our families are close—wives and bairns as weel as he and Artan.”
“Twill be fine. Truly,” Annie said when Katerina continued to frown. “Lady Cecily’s missives are light, funny, and full of warmth. I am certain the woman is the same. And ye have met Laird Artan several times now. The children will play and squabble as all bairns do and that is how it should be.” Annie lightly stroked the fine red hair of her child who, at only five months of age, still slept more than he was awake. “I cannae wait until my wee Ian can run and play with all the others.”
After making certain that her now sleeping children were warmly covered, Katerina wrapped a blanket around herself. “I ken that all ye say is true. I think I just need to get this first meeting o’er with.”
“It shallnae be long now. Then ye may be at ease and enjoy the visit with your kin.”
“There is Glascreag,” Lucas said as he rode along at the side of the cart and smiled at his slowly waking wife. “Wipe the sleep from your bonnie eyes, wife, and have a look.”
Katerina looked. She was not sure what she thought of Glascreag. The first word that entered her head and seemed to be stuck there was formidable. Glancing around she could see that the keep was surrounded by what looked to be good land, arable land, and
a burn that sparkled even in the weakening light of a setting sun. Somehow that all made the large, dark stone keep and its high walls look even more formidable.
Then she thought about how cautiously Lucas had approached Glascreag lands, crossing over the terrain of other clans with speed and stealth, yet always careful to reveal no hint of a threat to anyone who might see them. A close guard had been set out every night, and Katerina now realized that it had not just been to protect them against the ever-present threat of thieves. Glascreag and the MacReiths might not be at war with anyone at the moment, but she suspected the MacReiths were not exactly allied with most of their neighbors, either. Suddenly the keep and its dark walls looked just right for where it was despite the tranquil glen that surrounded it.
And this was where her husband had been trained, had spent ten years of his life changing from a boy into a man, she thought as she watched Lucas look around him with an obvious affection. It explained that somewhat savage side of him that she had seen so little of in the Murrays she had met so far. This harsh, rough, yet beautiful land had shaped him, had seeped into his blood, and had honed his battle skills. In some ways, this was where the Lucas she knew had been born.
“It hasnae changed,” Lucas said, his pleasure over that fact clear to hear in his voice.
“I think a place such as this changes verra little,” Katerina said. “This land willnae let it.”
“Aye, true enough. It can be harsh round here, although Angus has some verra good land.”
“Good enough to stir up a wee bit of envy, aye?”
“Aye, though it has been a while since any blood was spilt o’er it. Artan says it has been verra peaceful of late.”
The tone in Lucas’s voice told Katerina that that did not necessarily please Artan and Lucas agreed with his brother’s feelings. “I suspicion Lady Cecily is content that ’tis so,” she murmured.
“Artan is, too, more than not. He wouldnae want his Sile or his lads in any danger.”
From the way Artan often spoke of his wife and children, Katerina knew that to be true, but her own waking children drew her full attention before she could reply. With Annie’s help she managed to get the children’s soiled cloths changed just before they cleared the gates of Glascreag. Holding fast to little Morainn while Annie kept a firm grip on Lachann, Katerina watched as a group of people hurried down the steps of the keep to greet them.
The only person she recognized was Artan. In each strong arm he held a squirming, laughing little boy with thick black curls. One step behind him was a slender red-haired woman that could only be Lady Cecily, or, as Artan called her,
my Sile
. A tall, older man, his black hair well threaded with silver, held with one hand the arm of a plump, graying woman. That pair descended the steps very carefully for his other hand clasped that of a tiny, fair-haired girl child. Two very handsome young men slipped around the others on the steps to hurry over to greet Lucas.
The men indulged in the usual manly round of very brief embraces followed by backslapping that caused each of them to stagger slightly. A few moments later, Katerina found herself being embraced and kissed upon the cheek as she was introduced to everyone. She did not really need to hear the names, for all of Lucas’s tales and Cecily’s
letters made it very easy for her to know just who was who. It surprised her a little that Angus MacReith was only a distant cousin to Lucas and Artan for the man could easily pass for the father of the twins. Lucas’s cousins Bennet and Uilliam earned themselves a hard glare from Lucas, who obviously felt they welcomed Katerina a little too warmly. The moment Katerina greeted Cecily and Meg she knew the women would be her dearest friends, that Cecily was just as warm and light-hearted as her letters, and that Meg was exactly as Cecily had described her: loving and sharp-tongued.
“So where is this wee lassie of yours?” asked Angus.
The conversation Katerina was having with Cecily and Meg came to an abrupt halt. “Why, Morainn is right here!” she said, the last two words fading to a whisper as she looked around but did not see Morainn.
“Birdie!” bellowed an all too familiar childish voice.
Katerina looked in the direction of that voice to see her little daughter racing toward some chickens. “Lucas!”
Laughing along with his cousins, Lucas hurried after his daughter. Artan was so busy taunting Lucas about not being able to control his children that he had failed to keep a close watch on his own. Eric and Aiden quickly ran after their little cousin, loudly informing Morainn that the animals now fleeing in a raucous panic were not birdies, but chickens. Lachann and Angus’s little girl Meghan set up a loud protest when they were prevented from running after the other children. Katerina sighed and tried to quiet Lachann. It would undoubtedly be a long time before she could have that much anticipated woman-to-woman talk with Artan’s Sile.
“At last all is quiet,” said Cecily as she sat on a cushioned bench next to Meg.
Already seated comfortably before the fire on the bench facing the other two women, Katerina smiled. “Quiet for us, but I suspicion the nursemaids will be busy for a while yet.”
Cecily laughed along with Meg. “Aye, verra true.”
Katerina glanced toward the men seated at the head table, drinking ale and arguing. “I wonder what they are arguing about.”
“Anything and everything.”
Meg nodded. “Angus loves a good argument.”
“Lucas often said so, but I fear I thought he was jesting.” Katerina glanced at the men again, shook her head, and laughed. “Tis verra clear he was telling the simple truth.” She looked around the great hall once before returning her gaze to Cecily and Meg. “I have long wanted to see this place. Lucas has told me so many tales about his years here, his training, and Angus. I kenned it figured largely in making him the mon he is.”
“Aye,” agreed Cecily. “I think he and Artan were born to this life. The Murrays are Highlanders, but they live in a quieter, softer land, much nearer the borders of the places Angus so loves to curse. Artan and Lucas are the sons he ne’er had. Tis why he has all the bairns call him
Pere
.” Cecily smiled at Katerina. “Ye have gained a verra large family by marrying Lucas.”
“I began to realize that when the Murrays began to visit in twos, threes, and more. I do have a dozen cousins that I am aware of. May have more, just havenae found them yet. My late uncle was verra fond of the lasses,” she said when both women looked at her curiously. “I thought that was a lot until I began to hear about and meet Lucas’s family.
“Tis good. My bairns will always have someone to turn to if they are in need.”
“Aye, and ones we can be certain will protect them and that is theirs. ’Tis a great comfort.”
Looking at her husband again, Katerina said quietly, “There are times when I look at that mon and wonder how he has come to be mine.”
“And how can ye hold fast to him?” Cecily smiled in complete understanding.
“Aye, and yet that seems as if I question the vows he has made and I then feel guilty for that.”
“I ken the feeling all too weel.”
“’Tis just a passing thing and of no great consequence,” Meg said. “’Tis naught but a natural fear of losing something precious. Only God can take those two laddies away from ye, their wives. They love deep and hard and believe a vow should be kept nay matter who ye give it to, be they mon, woman, or bairn. Ye are two verra lucky lassies and I am a verra lucky old woman.”
Katerina was about to dispute the word
old
when an all too familiar childish voice bellowed, “Da!”