Highland Soldiers: The Enemy (29 page)

Without thinking, he reached for the same strand of hair that the breezes kept blowing onto her face, and he brushed it back over her ear. He lifted his hand, nearly stroking her hair, but pulled back. Instead, he leaned his elbows on his thighs and clasped his hands while he stared at the ground.

Mari said, “He must marry a MacKenzie to bring peace to our clans. There is no proof of our marriage, so if no one disputes it, it does not exist.”

“But you exist. How can he do this to you?”

With limpid eyes, Mari met Duncan’s gaze. “Because I told him to.”

Duncan could not speak without telling her what he really thought, so he said nothing.

Mari looked straight ahead and spoke as though she were convincing herself more than Duncan. “It’s the right thing to do. All the fighting must stop, and this will end it.”

Duncan started to speak, but Mari went on. “If he stayed with me, there would only be more fighting and more people killed—perhaps Callum—or you.”

She turned to face him, and her sadness disarmed him. He disagreed, but he would not argue. To do so would change nothing. But he could not help but wonder how she would manage it. How could she watch Callum marry another, and live as another woman’s husband? How would she endure it? As strong as she was, such a burden could crush any spirit. She could not be alone, and she would not. This was something Duncan could do for her. He could be there for her to lean on, if she would have him. But now was not the time to talk of such things.

They emerged from the woods, and Duncan was suddenly self-conscious. “I had not thought how it might look for us walking alone. Some will say ‘tis not seemly.”

“Let them think what they will,” Mari said, having resigned herself to her fate. “Before all this is over, they’ll think worse of me, of that I am certain.”

There was little late afternoon light left when they arrived back at the cottage. Nellie was awake and beginning to prepare supper. Mari insisted on taking over so Nellie could rest.

“Duncan, you’ll stay?”

“If I know my mother, she’s preparing a feast for me. I could not disappoint her.”

Mari smiled. “Aye, well come back later, if you like.”

He gave a halfhearted smile.

“Please? It would be almost like our evenings in Edinburgh. Have you seen Charlie and Alex?”

“Not yet.”

“Well, perhaps I could send one of the boys to the castle to fetch them.”

When he hesitated, Mari said, “Good. Then I’ll see you after supper. Please?” She looked almost her old self as she gave him a pleading, and most charming, look.

“For you, darlin’.” He grinned, and they felt once more easy together.

A rap at the door broke their lingering gaze.

Mari opened the door to find a young lad. “This is for you, Mistress,” he said, holding out a small bundle.

“Why thank you. Who sent you with this?”

“Mr. MacDonell.”

“Callum?” she said, more to herself than to the boy.

“Aye, Mr. Callum MacDonell.”

Mari gave him some shortbread she’d made that morning. After he’d thanked her, he went running away.

Duncan watched the lad with a smile, recalling his own youth. When he looked back at Mari, the bundle was opened and Mari was still. Duncan closed the door. “Mari, what is it?”

She set down a small pouch full of coins. With false cheer, she said, “Well, I’d best get to supper.”

Duncan and Nellie exchanged looks while Mari pretended that nothing was wrong. He went over to her and gave her shoulders a squeeze. “I’ll be back later.”

*

After stopping at home to tell his mother he would be late for supper, Duncan strode up to the castle. Before he reached Callum, Alex and Charlie stopped him. They exchanged greetings, which Duncan cut short. Given the time he had been gone, it seemed odd.

When Charlie became distracted by a maid on an errand form the kitchen, Alex pulled Duncan aside. “What is it? You’ve a look in your eyes I’ve only seen before battle.”

“Aye, well I’ve been to see Mari.”

Alex nodded, now understanding.

“Callum just had a boy deliver a purse full of coins to Mari, as though she were—as if it were her wages.” He stopped and swallowed.

“Now, Duncan—”

“He’s broken her heart.”

“From what I understand, she broke his.” Alex gripped Duncan’s shoulder. “I’ve been here. It’s not nearly as simple as you seem to believe.”

“I’ll hear that from Callum.” He pushed past Alex, but Alex grabbed hold of his arms. “He’s about to sit down to supper.”

“With Seaforth and that woman?”

“Lady Aemilia,” Alex said with a nod. “Let’s talk after supper. After that, in the morning, you can talk to Callum.”

Duncan gritted his teeth and reluctantly nodded. “Och, I forgot. Mari asked me to invite you and Charlie to visit this evening.”

“Good. We can talk then.”

Duncan gave barely a nod before turning to leave. Alex gave Charlie a light slap on the head to draw his attention from the pretty young maid he was charming. Alex kept walking without looking back, while Charlie gave her his most charming grin and bounded off to catch up with Alex.

*

Callum took his place beside Aemilia for supper. The past few days had left her looking weary. Framed by flaming curls, her wan face appeared almost ghostly.

“Lady Aemilia, has the weather been to your liking?” asked Callum.

Her eyes darted back toward him with a startled expression. “I’m sorry?”

“Do you not think the weather has been sunny and fine?”

Lady Aemilia forced a weak smile. “Oh. Yes, I suppose it has.” Her eyes met his, and then flitted downward to her food, which she stared at, making no effort to eat.

Callum looked out at the great hall from his seat at the dais. Everyone looked in good spirits. He glanced over at Glengarry and Seaforth. Even they looked close to tolerating one another’s company. This wedding would make friends from foes. More importantly, it would save lives. And although it would cost him his own, or the life he had wanted, it would serve a greater good. He reminded himself of this often, otherwise he could not go forward with this. This was his duty, to his clan and its people.

And right now that duty would be served by making conversation with his betrothed. After all, this was no more her fault than his. “Have you been outside for a walk or a ride?”

Lady Aemilia glanced toward him, barely meeting his eyes. “Aye.”

“And how did you find it?”

“Woods, a loch, and steep hills. I have seen these before.” While she did not speak with impatience, her gentle tone did not hide her disinterest.

Callum arched an eyebrow. “I see.” He looked away to hide the smirk he could barely control.

She turned her head to face him directly for the first time this evening. Callum was once more struck by her fragile beauty, more vivid perhaps because this was the first time she had looked into his eyes. She was lovely, to be sure. But in this moment she gave him an unshielded view of her sadness in all of its depth. Her voice was quiet and smooth. “I have ridden through woods and trod down the rough path to the water. My toes have been wetted. I have sat in the solar and pulled needles through cloth, a task I confess I do loathe. And I have discussed every possible aspect of the weather, from sunrise to sunset, since I have been here. I feel that I now have a full measure of life here. While I cannot fully express how I feel about it, I feel certain you can imagine, for you feel no more affection for me than I do for you.”

This was more than she had spoken to him since they had met. He was not quite prepared to respond.

“Lady Aemilia—”

“Please, sir. It would be better if we did not pretend.”

He could not quite decide between offense, annoyance or sympathy. “I have offered no pretense. I, too, agree it is good to be honest. Although supper may not be the best place or time, while we are in full view of our clansmen.” He took in the glances and whispers that spread down the tables below.

She said, “I am sorry. From what I can tell, you are a kind man. But I cannot live day after day lying to one another. Our marriage will be lie enough.”

Callum leaned back and studied her, and she knew it.

She would not meet his eyes. “I ken that I’ve been blunt.”

Callum smiled wryly. “Well, if we’re to be honest, you have.”

She peered into his eyes. “You seem like a good man, but I shall never love you.”

Callum stared blankly at her. “I shall keep that in mind.”

“Sir, I am feeling unwell. Please excuse me.”

She rose and left, stopping long enough to make her apologies to her host, and then to her brother.

As she walked away, Callum almost wanted to smile. In some ways, he could not blame her. She knew her mind and her heart, and was honest with a startling frankness. However, she ignored what was best for her people. She was selfish. He could not admire that.

*

Duncan, Alex, and Charlie sat around Nellie’s fireplace with Mari. Having arrived after supper, they had talked through the evening. Nellie nodded off in her chair while soft voices peppered the silence that settles at the end of an evening. The fire drew Mari to stare and remember. The happy memories had become sad reminders of what she would lose after Callum was married. In passing, Duncan’s hand settled on Mari’s shoulder for a moment, and then he sat down. Mari barely lifted her chin to acknowledge him there.

Charlie was the first to stand and bid Mari goodnight, and the others soon followed. But before they could say their goodbyes, a knock sounded.

“Mari.”

She straightened the instant she heard Callum’s voice.

Alex first looked to Mari for her permission. As he opened the door, Duncan moved over to stand beside Mari. If this was meant to provide any sense of support, Mari failed to notice. Her attention was on the opening door, and the man in the doorway. In the silence, unvoiced thoughts charged the air. Callum took a step toward her while the other men instinctively stiffened their posture, as though Callum posed some sort of threat. This did not escape Callum's notice as he glanced at Alex and Charlie. And then his eyes met Duncan's unwavering look. Callum's mouth quirked in wry amusement that went instantly somber. He looked down for a moment, and then lifted troubled eyes to Mari and let his gaze settle there, soft and heavy.

A light metallic clinking sounded as Mari lifted her hand. In it she clutched the coin purse that the boy had delivered to her. “You sent a boy to deliver this?” She stepped toward him, extending her hand, and impulsively threw it at him. This caught Callum off guard. Only reflex allowed him to catch it as several coins fell onto the floor.

Confused, Callum opened his mouth, but Mari went on. “Have I become an errand you are too busy to attend to yourself?”

Callum's eyes burned with anger. “I will answer your questions alone.” He directed a pointed glare to Alex, who looked first at Mari for her consent, and then wordlessly left, followed by Charlie. When Duncan hesitated, Callum gripped his arm and looked pointedly at him. “You need not worry. I can take care of my wife.”

Duncan's eyes flashed. “Aye, I have seen how you take care of your wife.”

Callum took a step closer, but stopped as Mari called out. “Callum, if you have something to say to me, say it now.”

The two men exchanged a look. Alex called Duncan's name in a quiet, firm voice. Duncan glanced sharply at Alex but hesitated before turning from Callum, closing the cottage door firmly behind him.

Callum held out the pouch in his hands. “I did not send this.”

Mari looked away as her indignant face melted to despair.

Misreading this as disbelief, Callum took a step toward her. “I did not send it. Believe me or not, it is true. I have never lied to you. How can you think that I would begin now?” He braced himself for more doubt. Instead Mari turned back to face him. He wanted to sweep her into his arms, but resisted. “My father must have sent it. I dinnae think he meant any harm by it.”

“No, I am sure he was merely falling into old habits.”

Although she had spoken them softly, her words made him ache with the memories of such purses. He had brought some himself to his mother. How must she have felt to receive them from him?

Callum stepped closer. She stiffened, but he would not relent. He took both her hands in his and lifted them to his lips. Glancing up, he caught sight of a tear as it slid down her cheek. With tender hands, he brushed her tears away and kissed her cheek. With that, Mari gave in to his enclosing arms.

He said, “You'll recall, this was your idea.”

She nodded, but would not lift her eyes to meet his.

“And a bloody awful one it was,” Callum added.

“Aye, but it's the only way I can have at least part of you.”

“No, lass. We could pack up and say our goodbyes and leave it all behind us. I could go tell my father to call off the wedding and leave him to sort it all out.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “He would disinherit you.”

“Aye,” he said plainly.

“You’d lose everything.”

“If I stay, I lose you. And you are the one thing I cannot live without.”

Mari sighed with relief, but felt guilty for it. “Do you think it is wise?”

“No. It is not wise at all, but it is the only choice I can live with.” Callum stroked her hair and pressed his lips to her forehead.

“I'm afraid,” she whispered.

Callum smiled his most reassuring smile. “I will keep you safe.”

“I dinnae doubt it. But if we were to do such a thing, how would you feel months from now? You'd have lost everything you’d ever wanted, and I'd be the cause.”

He took her face in his hands and smiled at her. “My love, when I was a boy, I wanted many things, but now that I am a man, all I want is you.”

Mari could not argue against her heart, when all it wanted was Callum.

Callum kissed her and said, “Seaforth will not take it well. Of that, you can be certain.”

“He could lock you in the dungeon.”

“Aye. I have thought of that, too. But I’d still have to tell him in person.”

Mari gripped Callum’s leine. “You’re no good to me in a dungeon. Please, love, dinnae do that to me.”