HIM—A Stepbrother Romance: With BONUS NOVELLA: PERSONAL (16 page)

“Of course, that’s why we’d get you really drunk. Then you’ll sign it!” She winked. “Look, you lost a career, now gain a new one. Show the world how smart you are. Start a blog. Heck, do it this week. Like, now. Like, right now.”

“It’s a lot to think about.” I continued drinking my liquid courage. A server immediately came to our attention and refilled our glasses once he was oh-so-well-aware of the cameras around capturing the scene.

“Well, here’s to not thinking.” She toasted me as did my mom.

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

“Sure it is. Bottom’s up.” Claire teased.

Feeling emotional and tipsy, I knew I had to say it. “Mom, I’m sorry for judging you. For running away. For not being there for you as a daughter.” I had to get it out. It was weighing on my chest so heavy.

“You’re here now. And that’s all that matters, sweetheart. Let’s just enjoy this lunch then do what we do ladies do best.”

“Shop. Then spa day.” Claire cried out.

I could use a spa day. I sure could. It was the only thing to calm these nerves and Lord knew I had enough of them to light the entire world up with electricity.

Later, all throughout my deep tissue massage, I thought of the perfect way to express my feelings to Bradley. I would write him a letter—that way everything I wanted to express, I could and would. 

Chapter Twenty-six

Kate

Dressed in the gold Givenchy gown Bradley promised he had for me days earlier, I felt like magic. It reminded me of Belle in
The Beauty and the Beast
, but a much sexier version. Even with my mother’s former position and access to such wealth, I had never been to Paris. Ever.

Now, standing in a grand building with high ceilings and historic stonewalls dressed with original artwork from the renaissance, I felt something stirring inside of me—a desire to join the art and bravery of men and women in the past.

Had they not been brave to dip their pant brush into the array of colors allowing inspiration to lead to creation, the beautifully framed art would not be hanging today.

I wonder if you knew millions of people who lived after you, generations later, would travel all over the world just to stare at your brilliance,
I pondered, asking the artists silently.

The masses.

My chest tightened, the familiar feeling of anxiety traveling up my airway and to my throat. It was the panic of being seen by the world.

But he made me feel better. He made me feel brave.

He made me feel like I could do anything.

He made me feel safe, protected.

Seen.

I knew I could take baby steps and perhaps with a good therapist and support system, I could embrace this life and stay on the positive side of wealth and fame. I could make a difference, too. It was a lot to process and to think about, but the way our bodies gelled, the way he felt right, I had to pursue this. The years and years of pure lust I felt towards him; the floodgates had opened and there was no turning back. It was more than a childhood crush; it was love.

I lost my academia world.

I lost control of my reputation.

And that was something I needed to get used to: the lack of controlling things and being more free, for once. He taught me that.

It was torture waiting to see him again. I wanted to tell him how I felt. With the support of my mother and Claire, I could brace any media storm or frenzy, at least I would try my best even if I had the occasional breakdowns.

I wouldn’t let the judgments of others, not even my own father’s disapproval, keep me from love.

Bradley

There was one thing on my mind and that was seeing her. Now. I made sure her gown was delivered to her room. Regardless of how she felt, there was a gift I wanted to give her. So much I wanted to tell her, say to her, comfort her in the middle of this media storm.

As soon as I made my way into my presidential suite, a sealed envelope laid on the table for me.

Bradley

A poem, for you. By me.

For you

The doorbell of her soul rang

Unknown music to far away places

Closer than her own heartbeat

In another plane

In another dimension

Soul ties untied for all time

To dive in the sea

To revel in his kiss

To seal the fate forever

With just one taste

With no hurried action

At just the right time

You’re mine

Dear Bradley,

I may not be the best with spoken words, even in this tumultuous time. But spending days away with you in the middle of the world, in the waters of the most magnificent seas, you set my soul to rest. It wasn’t the backdrop of luxury, it wasn’t the rich lobster and the finest of wine; it was you. You made me feel different. You made me believe in me. You made me believe in us and what could be if let my guard down and let go of what other people think.

You’re the perfect package and has always been. What you did in India showed shimmers of your character. It made me stand in awe of your radiant brilliance. I don’t know of a man of such great wealth, inheritance, and with your family’s last name on the line, who would have done what you did this week with that sweatshop.

I just know you’re the type of man I’d want to follow.

So, I’m ready, Bradley.

Let’s do this.

You have my hand.

You have my heart.

With you I experience so much adventure.

Jail.

A blizzard that kissed the sea.

The world knowing my name.

You make me brave. You make me want to live life courageously dangerous. I’m not perfect and don’t expect you to be, either.

But I was crazy about you before I even met you. The feelings I had for you were teenage hormones that blossomed and matured to what I know now as real love.

I just wanted you to know.

I’ll be by your side tonight.

I may be trembling and feel like running and hiding, but you make me want to be brave and face my fears.

Kate

I paced the grand ballroom like a nervous family member awaiting news in a hospital waiting room.
Had he changed his mind about me? Was I too much? Too emotional? Too analytical? Too frail?

Finally, my phone buzzed. I nearly dropped it from my sweaty palms.

Bradley
:
Meet me in my suite, please. I’m here.

My heart billowed, pounding in my ears as the adrenaline of seeing him again spun down my body. Utter excitement even buzzed down into my tippy toes like electricity.

I felt like I was in a ball and leaving the boisterous scene to be with a forbidden lover. A tall bulky man dressed to the nines offered me his arm. “Miss Meadows, Bradley would like me to take you to his suite.”

My heart swelled so big I swear it would burst. I hope he had read my letter. I pinched my arm because I felt so happy; it almost felt like a sin.

It was torture waiting for the elevator to stop five times on the way all the way to the very top to the penthouse suite. My cheeks flushed, my nipples hardened, my panties dampened thinking about him. Thinking about us. Thinking about how he made meel in his arms just in a gentle caress.

I just wanted to run into his strong arms as soon as I would see him like a crazy school girl in love.

Finally the doors opened.

There was the man of the hour, spinning around on the heel of his thousand dollar shoes. He took my breath away in his tux. Crisp white button up shirts always looked so sexy against his tan skin and aqua eyes.

I hadn’t even realized I took a step out of the elevator; I felt like I was floating to him in a dream. It was that much of an out of body experience. I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to this.

It was him!

Bradley Rainshaw, Jr.

“You came.”

“Of course I did.”

His lips crashed into mine and I melted into his arms.

“What you did for those children, I…” It was all I could think to say first.

“Shhh…we’ll talk about that later.” His lips trailed down my collarbone.

“Off. Take this off now.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

Thirty minutes later, lying in a suite I never thought I’d ever be in, lying next to him in the city of love, we were two beings in love.

There was no doubting this connection.

“I have something for you.”

I watched him in the grand, gold baroque mirror as he draped the most beautiful diamond necklace over my naked body. I felt so admired, special, cherished.

“You are a woman to be admired, loved, adored, and adorned.”

His warm husky voice sent chills down my neck. My hands rested over the necklace that now rested over my cleavage. It was a yellow diamond.

“For my yellow rose of Texas.”

My breath was caught. I’d never been in position of such jewelry in my life. Sure my mother had, but I never even bothered wearing her gigantic diamond once.

My jaw dropped and I couldn’t stop staring at the sight.

“You look so ravishing, I could eat you.”

“I’d like that.”

Later, and two panty changes after, my cheeks were flushed from the third orgasm he gave me, as he was a man of his word. I’d have to show him my thank you later tonight, in bed.

As he led me down the hallway to the elevators and to the grand entryway where my mom and Claire stood dressed to the nines, he asked me. “Are you ready for them all to talk?”

“You can talk about me behind my back, but at least you’re talking.” I winked at the
TVnetwork
cameras in the corner of the room. My mom gave me a thumbs up and her face was as bright as the sun. No, I wasn’t sure if I was going to sign up for the show or not, but at least we had these moments of footage captured for us. And for that I was grateful to be with my family.

To be with him.

My life had taken a complete 180 so fast and it felt good.

It felt good to be with my mom again. It felt good to be with my sister.

And it felt good to be with him.

Him.

“Come on, babe. I can’t wait for the world to see you by my side.”

World, here we come.

Me.

And
him
.

Finally.

Epilogue

Four years later

“You have dozens of New York Times best sellers, Kate. You are quite prolific.” I never grew tired of hearing such reminders of my literary success. It still felt surreal. Heck, everything still seemed surreal. I glanced down at my finger, the gigantic sparkling diamond smiling at me. My free hand rested on my growing belly and the life that was cozily dreaming inside of me. I felt the greatest ball of energy surround me: bliss. He, she, and me. My daughter growing inside of me.

“May I ask…the bravery? You write dirty romances, which some reviewers slam as mommy porn. Is this something you saw yourself doing back in South Africa where you studied the naturalist poets?”

“You know, it’s not. But I’ve found a way to express myself. Wait, let me rephrase. I didn’t know I had this need or desire to express myself like this, until I just began to do it as an outlet and need to write. It honestly just came out and I’ve had fun with it ever since.”

“You don’t write under a penname. Considering your husband’s position now, you are not leery about this?”

“I learned a long time ago that running from your last name, or hiding didn’t do me any good. I want to be authentic. I want women to embrace their sexuality and be proud, not ashamed. Thank you.”

Bradley’s strong hand rested on my lower back, the gentle touch leading me further down the press line.

“Senator Rainshaw, you’re thirty-three, married, a baby girl due shortly. You’ve got the whole world in your hands now. You’ve turned Rainshaw Enterprises around. You started at a great loss by shutting down the foreign operations, but in three short years you’ve doubled your company’s net worth. You clearly have an eye for growth and strategy. You’ve got the work ethic, talents, and clout; can we expect you in the race for governor soon? Or maybe, president one day?”

“Never say never.”

“What do you have to say about your wife's scandalous books that she writes?”

“I think that there's no greater way to live than with courage, no regrets, and to live life not caring what people think. To live life being who you are and not giving a shit about what other people think. Pardon my French. Clearly it led to something right here.”

He lovingly covered my belly and we both laughed.

“What do I really think?” He tilted that Greek-god-like chin, and I could just stare at him all day long. My husband. Mine.

“It's pretty hot and I think it's time for me to go home if you catch my drift. Because dinner’s on the table and dessert’s in the bed.”

The crowd was charmed and laughed boisterously.

“Kate? Any last words?”

“You can talk about me behind my back, but at least you’re talking about me.” The famous words of my mother’s tagline. I winked at a chuckling crowd as Bradley kissed my cheek.

And we were off back to our New York City flat.

Him.

Me.

And Baby.

With him I had the world.

With him I had the courage to be seen for who I really am.

With him I had the courage to dream, to write, and to express myself.

Because of him I felt finally free to be seen.