Authors: Kimberly Gardner
Tags: #Contemporary, #Transgender, #new adult, #LGBTTQ
“Mmm, I like it with you on top.” Mark ran his hands down her back, cupped her ass, and squeezed.
“I like it too.” Josie rubbed her smooth cheek against his stubbly one and sighed.
Here she was lying on the bed in the arms of a guy she liked, a lot, and although her heart was pounding, she wasn’t scared or even nervous. Not that nervous anyway. The memory of her near discovery in the bathroom had faded to a minor worry, one of many she’d been dealing with for almost as long as she could remember.
“You smell good,” Mark said and buried his face against her neck, inhaling deeply.
At the same time, Josie felt his hand slide under the hem of her shirt to caress the skin of her lower back. She shivered.
He paused. “Is that okay?”
He was being so careful with her, going so slow and checking in with her every response. It was sweet. He was sweet, and for a moment, Josie let herself imagine what it would be like to make love with him. All the way, with every secret revealed and accepted, to let him inside her soul and her body.
Oh how she wanted that closeness, more than wanted it, yearned for it. The truth was she would do anything, pay any price to feel loved and accepted for the woman she was. But she was no dummy. She couldn’t create that acceptance by herself, and without it, love was impossible. So she would settle for this sweetness and a closeness she could have. And she would be happy with it.
“Joes?”
“Hmm?”
“Where did you go just now?”
“Nowhere. I’m right here.” She pressed her cheek against his, then on an impulse, caught his earlobe between her teeth and tugged.
Underneath her, he squirmed, his cock nestled in the hollow next to her hip. His other hand joined the first under her shirt. His hands felt so warm against her bare skin.
Josie imagined she could feel each finger distinctly as he played up and down her spine. Suddenly the hook on her bra opened.
Josie caught her breath. She must also have stiffened or made some sound.
Mark pressed his palm in exactly the spot bared by the opening of her bra. “Shhh, it’s all right. You want to stop? Just say the word, and we’ll stop. I promise I won’t do anything you don’t like.”
Which was precisely the problem, though she couldn’t say so. She liked lying here with him, kissing and touching and being held. Also, considering what she had already done with him, it was a bit late to be acting like a shy little virgin, even if that was what she was.
“I know you won’t. It’s just, I don’t have a lot of experience with guys.” Or any experience at all.
“Well, I don’t have any experience with guys, so— What? What did I say?”
“Nothing.” Josie made herself laugh.
“It was a joke. I’m not gay or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I know you’re not. I mean, hello?” She reached between them and gave his cock a squeeze through his jeans. As distractions went, it was perfect.
“Oh God.” Mark’s hips jerked, his erection pressing into her hand.
“Feel good?” She curled her fingers around him as much as she could with the material in the way.
He covered her hand with one of his, pressing harder. “More than good. Feels amazing.”
Still with his hand over hers, Josie began to stroke the bulge behind his zipper.
“Josie? Will you touch me like you did before? In your apartment? I love the way your hands feel on me.”
Rather than reply, she caught his zipper pull between her fingers and slowly, oh so slowly, drew it down. She heard or maybe she only sensed him catch his breath as she spread the fly of his jeans and slipped her hand inside.
He wore cotton briefs. She remembered that from before as her fingers found their way inside the opening to close around the hot length of him. She drew out his cock and couldn’t resist angling her head so she could see what she held in her hand.
Long but not too thick, Mark’s cock flushed dark with blood. The shaft curved slightly up toward his belly and pulsed against her fingers where she held him. As she watched, a pearlescent drop of fluid gathered at the slit and glistened in the fall of morning sun shining down on them. With the tip of one finger, Josie caught it, examined it in the light, then licked it away.
“Holy shit, that was hot,” Mark whispered. He dragged her close and plundered her mouth like he meant to taste himself on her tongue.
That was hot. She completely agreed. Josie kissed him back like she was starving and he was her only nourishment, all she’d ever need. Caught up in the moment and her power to please, she clung to him as their mouths mated. Tongues engaged while teeth nipped and breath mingled.
Cool air kissed Josie’s skin as Mark dragged open her shirt. Buttons popped and flew in all directions. She’d never find them all, she thought distantly. But couldn’t bring herself to care.
His hands closed greedily over her breasts, and she arched into his touch.
God, no one had ever touched her like this, wanted her like this with so much intensity and concentration. His hunger should have frightened her, but it exhilarated her. At that moment, she felt, really felt, maybe more than ever before in her life, what it was to be wanted by a man. It was heady stuff, like a drug, and she was instantly addicted.
Mark kissed her again, but his hands never left her breasts. He kneaded them gently, rolling the nipples between thumb and finger and creating delicious tugs and pulls in her belly.
Thank God for hormones. Although she could still get hard, the process took much longer and more concentration than she imagined it did for most cisgender cisgender people, although it was easier when she was alone, maybe because she was more relaxed.
“Joes, I want to—”
Whatever he wanted disappeared into their next kiss. Still with his lips locked on hers, Mark turned onto his side so they faced each other on the narrow mattress. He scooted down, sliding his hands down to her waist and making it impossible for her to keep hold of his cock. He nudged her onto her back, then took her nipple into his mouth and suckled.
“Oh,” Josie moaned, her body arching up from the bed. But when he flipped open the button on her jeans, she clapped her hand over his.
“Mark, don’t!”
Instantly he released her breast and pulled his hand away from her fly. “Sorry. Sorry. I just— I got carried away. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay.” She cupped his cheek. She had overreacted, and the mood was now wrecked. “It’s okay. You just startled me.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“I know.”
“Maybe we should—”
“No. I want…”
What did she want? Something she couldn’t have. But he had turned onto his back, one arm thrown up and covering his face. She couldn’t see his expression, and that was so not good.
He had been so sweet, and she had to fix this right now.
“Mark? Can we try something else?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we better just…”
“Please?”
He lowered his arm and looked at her. The look in his eyes wasn’t exactly no, but he was definitely hesitating.
“C’mere.” Josie rolled over on her back and spread open her shirt. Then, because her bra was still in the way, she sat up and removed both shirt and bra, dropping them over the side of the bed. She lay back naked from the waist up and patted her stomach.
“What do you want?”
“Straddle me. But first take your jeans off.”
He widened his eyes, and his mouth fell open. Clearly he knew what she had in mind. “Josie, I—”
“C’mon. Unless you don’t want to.” She didn’t think she could stand it if he rejected her now.
He searched her face, uncertainty clear in his eyes. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “I want to.”
“Okay.” He leaned over and kissed her, a very soft, very light brush of lips. “Just be sure.”
“I am.”
He climbed off the bed, shucked his jeans and briefs, then knelt beside her on the mattress. He hesitated.
She smiled and motioned for him to c’mon.
He straddled her and crawled up until his package rested just below her breasts. His cock lay between them, not hard like before but not entirely soft either.
“I want you hard for me, Mark.” She took hold of him. Squeezed. Stroked. Felt the surge of blood as he hardened in her hand.
An answering surge of elation swept through her. She was doing this to him. Making him hard. Making him want her, just her
“God, Josie. That feels— Oh, God.” He thrust into her hand. The head of his cock grew slick with precum.
She rubbed her thumb over the slit, smeared the slippery fluid over the shaft. Up and down, up and down, she stroked and coaxed and aroused until he was moving with her rhythm.
“Come up a little farther.” She tugged gently, letting him know where she wanted him before she released him and gathered her breasts up and forward, forming a valley around his erect cock.
“For real?” He let out a shaky laugh, then made a few minute adjustments to his legs and hips. He leaned forward, his hands on either side of her head, and looked down at her.
“Do it,” she whispered. “I want it just like this. I want you to fuck my tits.”
Oh, the power of dirty talk! It surged through her as she witnessed what it did to him.
He began to move. He rocked his hips, his dick thrusting, thrusting, thrusting. Beads of sweat formed at his temples and on his upper lip. The beads grew into drops and slid down his face. One splashed on her chest and another on her cheek. His breath grew quick and sharp; a groan broke from his lips followed by her name.
“Josie.”
She felt the tug of arousal low in her belly.
Not now.
Although she knew she could control it—all she need do was turn her mind to something else—the only thing she wanted to do was watch him. Watch him and revel in his desire. For her.
It was all she needed, a treasure she would carry away with her to hold close and cherish.
A flush began on his chest and climbed swiftly up his neck and face. As it spread, his movements grew erratic and jerky. Though she’d never witnessed a man’s orgasm so close-up, Josie sensed he was on the brink. She squeezed her breasts together, increasing the friction and pressure of her flesh against his.
“Come for me, Mark. Come on me.”
“Unnnngh!” Mark thrust one final time and came. Cum spilled over Josie’s chest, and the scent of sex filled her nose.
She released her breasts and framed his face in her hands. His skin was slick with sweat, his hair damp and curling with it. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. And he was hers, for now.
“Kiss me, Mark.”
He did, then rested his forehead against hers. “God, that was hot.”
Josie chuckled. “You think?”
“What I think is…” His words trailed away, and he sat up. “What I think is you have cum on you.”
She angled her head and looked down at her chest. “So I do.”
Josie drew her finger through the splatter between her breasts, then held it up to Mark’s lips.
He drew back a little. “I don’t—”
“Oh c’mon. You mean you never tasted your own cum?”
“Uh.”
“I thought all boys did that at some time in their lives.” Josie licked the cum from her finger, then gave Mark a playful swat on the side of his butt. “Get off and let me clean up.”
“Stay there. I’ll get you a washcloth.”
She watched him disappear into the adjoining bathroom and heard the water running. She closed her eyes.
Here she was half-naked on her boyfriend’s bed, cum-splattered and, yes, happy. It was more than she’d ever dared to hope for. Maybe one day…
But no. She would not be so greedy as to want more. She had Mark, and she had her secret. It was enough. It had to be.
Mark returned, a washcloth in his hand. But instead of handing it to her, he cleaned away the cum from her chest himself. The cloth felt warm on her skin, and rather than the utilitarian swipes she would have employed, Mark gently stroked the warm cloth over and around her breasts.
Josie shivered, but not because she was cold.
Finishing his task, he dropped the washcloth on the floor, then climbed back on the bed. Before lying down, he grabbed the comforter from the foot and pulled it up over them both.
He turned on his side and slipped his arms around her. “Hmm, I guess I should have brought a towel too.”
“It’s okay. I’ll be dry in a minute.”
“Here.” Mark took the edge of the sheet and dried her chest. Folding back the damp spot, he pulled her close.
She should get up, Josie thought hazily. But it felt so good to lie there in the cozy cocoon of Mark’s bed. She sighed and let herself snuggle. She’d stay for just a few minutes…
Sometime later Josie woke to someone knocking. For one terrifying moment, she had no clue where she was; then she saw Mark and remembered.
He was already up, standing beside the bed and dragging his jeans on without underwear. “Who is it?”
“Mark? It’s me. Open the door, honey.”
“Shit,” Mark swore under his breath. He turned to Josie. “It’s my mom.”
“Your mom! I thought you said—”
“I know. I don’t know what she’s doing here. Stay there and I’ll—”
“Nooooo! Tell her wait a minute.” Josie scrambled off the mattress and rescued her shirt from the floor. Where the hell was her bra? She searched but couldn’t find it among the other laundry littering the carpet. And she was out of time.
Abandoning the bra, Josie dashed into the bathroom and closed herself inside just as Mark reached the door. She heard the click of the lock—thank God they had locked it—then the sound of the door opening and Mark’s voice.
“Mom, what are you doing here? I thought I was picking you up.”
Then a woman’s voice. “I know, but I ran into Katie Kirkland at the craft show. You remember Katie—she’s the woman who makes those adorable crocheted animals.”
Josie stopped listening.
If the room was messy, the bathroom was surprisingly clean, even if the toilet seat had been left up. She lowered it with a
clunk
, pulled down her jeans, and sat.
Mark’s mother said, “You look like you were sleeping.”
Mark said something Josie couldn’t make out.