His First Choice (20 page)

If the hospital hadn't called—due to red tape because of the number of hospital visits, he remained certain of that, too—there'd be no one even looking into their lives.

“Am I in trouble?”

Four-year-olds didn't have much of an attention span. Or patience, either.

“Of course not.”

He was off on the wrong foot already. No way could he get through Levi's defenses if he thought he'd done something wrong. And he had to get through to him.

To assure himself once and for all that Lacey Hamilton was wrong and no one was hurting Levi.

Because she'd managed to instill that one bit of doubt.

“I want to talk to you about your mom.” One parent should not berate another in front of the children. He knew the rule.

“Did
she
get in trouble?” Levi sounded mildly curious. And nothing more.

“I don't know.” He took the opening. “Do you think she should be?”

He shrugged and Jem's stomach knotted into physical pain. Not mere discomfort, like that caused by Tressa's shenanigans, but bend-over physical pain.

“What about Kacey?” he asked, the words coming to him slowly. “Should she be in trouble?

“'Course not!” Levi said. “Kacey's fun.”

The knot tightened another notch.

“How about Lacey?”

“No...” The word was accompanied by a vigorous shake of the head. “She's nice, Dad, huh?”

“Yes, she is. I like her a lot.”

“I like her, too.” He took another sip of milk. Jem sipped his coffee.

“So how come you don't know about Mommy?”

Levi shrugged again.

Jem's certainty dissipated.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

H
E
WAS
IN
over his head. Had no training in dealing with possible victims of abuse. But he knew how to be a dad.

“Son, remember, this is a man-to-man. Rules are you have to talk,” he said. He didn't want to be like Tressa and create drama where there wasn't any. Didn't want his son overreacting like his mother every time something didn't go exactly as he wanted it to.

But Lacey's reaction to Tressa's outburst the other night... She hadn't said a lot, but it had been enough to tell Jem that she'd found the behavior outside the bounds of acceptable.

He'd found it pretty tame.

The disparity in their reactions to the same situation had prompted this conversation. If he was wrong...if Tressa was abusing their son in any way...

“Why do you think Mommy should be in trouble?”

“I don't,” Levi said, his chin to his chest.

“Levi, look at me.”

The boy did.

“This is really important, son. More important than anything that has ever happened before in your whole life.”

How was that for scaling down the drama? He hated hearing the words coming out of his mouth.

Levi's eyes were wide, his mouth open as he nodded.

And Jem's gaze fell to the cast his son had been lugging around for weeks.

“Tell me about that cast,” he said, zoning in, as though guided by an instinct he hadn't known he'd had.

“I fell.”

No mention of Tressa.

If you don't, Jem, I'll...

He heard her voice.

“Do you remember having a bad dream the last time you spent the night at your mom's house?”

Levi nodded. And then, as though remembering he had to speak, he said, “Yes.”

“Can you tell me what it was about?”

He shook his head.

“Levi?” He put enough warning in his voice to let the little boy know he was serious.

“I don't remember it all.” The boy was looking right at him.

From the odd place of calm he'd sunk into, Jem asked, “What do you remember about that bad dream?”

“I can't tell you.”

He barely stopped himself from flying out of his chair. To pace the room. Breathe. But he couldn't leave the moment.

His boy needed him.

“This is a man-to-man, Levi. You have to tell me. It's the law.”

Tears sprang to his eyes. “Then I have to go away?” His voice rose and wobbled.

“What? No, son. You aren't going away. Ever. At least, not until you're all big like me, and then only if you want to.”

So Tressa was the one who'd had it right? All of this...uncertainty...stemmed from Lacey's first visit?

But Levi had said she was nice. So... “Who told you that?”

“I can't...” Levi looked at him. Covering his son's hand with his own, wanting instead to pull the little guy onto his lap and shield him from every bogeyman ever, Jem took a sip of his coffee.

And then, keeping a hold on the fingers sticking out of the little cast, he nodded toward Levi, who took a sip of milk.

Okay. Normality.

“Tell me what you remember about the night of the dream, buddy.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes.” He held on to those fingers. Not coddling. But loving. And doing everything he could to let Levi know that while he had to man up, his dad had his back.

“I waked up with Mommy shaking me. She was mad.”

He held on to those fingers. Maybe for himself now.

“Why was she mad?”

“I hit her in the face.” Levi started to cry again. “I'm bad and now do I gotta go away?”

What the hell?

“You hit your mother?”

He shrugged.

“Levi.”

“She said so.”

Everything in him stilled. “You don't remember hitting her?”

“I remember sleeping.”

He was getting the picture, more clearly than ever. And felt bile in the back of his throat.

Tressa had called because Levi was having a nightmare and she couldn't wake him. He'd been flailing his cast in the air and she'd said that she was afraid he was going to hurt himself.

That grain of truth. The goddamn grain of truth that led one down the wrong path. She wasn't afraid he was going to hurt himself. At least not at that point. She'd been afraid because he'd hit her and she'd overreacted.

“You aren't in trouble,” he said softly, floundering as he tried to corral his thoughts, determine how bad things were and figure out what to do. But one thing was a given: taking care of the little boy that he loved more than life. “You aren't bad. What happened wasn't your fault because you were asleep, and we can't help what happens when we're asleep, can we?”

Levi shook his head, his little cheeks still wet with tears.

“So do you remember anything else about the dream night?”

“I throwed up.”

Lacey had had that one right, which didn't surprise him as much as it should have.

“And that's all?”

Levi nodded, but he didn't meet his gaze.

Jem racked his brain for more words. What came next? Where did he go with this?

“The swimming,” he said aloud. “You told Lacey and Kacey a story about you learning to swim,” he continued, hoping to hell his voice was filled with loving interest—not accusation.

Levi nodded and then said, “Yes.”

“Did Mommy get mad then, too?”

He nodded, eyes wide again.

“How come?”

“She telled me do this...” He moved his arms in a crawling motion. “But I jumped under and drownded.”

He'd scared the shit out of Tressa. He'd had that part of the story already, almost to a T.

“Then what happened?”

“She held me.” He put his hands on his sides at his rib cage. “And made me stay under and bringed me up.”

“How many times?”

“A hundreds.” Levi's word for more than he could count.

“What happened next?”

“I sneezed a lot.”

He'd had water up his nose.

“Then Mommy buyed the basketball and we played and it was fun.”

All's well that ends well.

Except that, if Lacey's source was correct, his son had worn bruises all over his torso as an aftermath to that event. Tressa gripping him out of anger, not fear? Or both?

Which led him to another question. Who'd called Lacey? Because she'd known about those bruises.

And Tressa hadn't had any reason to take Levi to the hospital. Nor had he had a doctor's appointment during the time Jem had been gone. Even if Tressa hadn't told him about a visit, he'd have seen it come through on his insurance...

He leaned down. “Man-to-man, son, why didn't you tell me these things?”

Levi's head dropped.

“You have my word you are not going to have to go away,” he said.

If you do, Jem, I'll...

“Did your mom tell you that you'd have to go away if you told me what had happened?” To save her own ass. At the expense of her son's.

The little boy's eyes filled with tears again as he nodded.

And Jem wanted to wring that little bitch's neck.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

L
ACEY
WASN
'
T
SURPRISED
when she got a call from Jem later Sunday night. She was in her room, sitting in bed trying to read, but had really just been reliving delicious moments from the night before. Over and over again.

And so, when she saw his contact come up on her phone, she answered with “I've been lying here thinking about you.”

“Hold that thought.” He didn't sound sexy at all. “Seriously. I want it. Just...”

“What's wrong? Is it Levi? Is he okay?”

“He's fine. Probably better than he's been in a while. He's in bed, sleeping soundly.”

“Is it Tressa? Did she call you again?” She'd been expecting the other woman to be a problem. Just hadn't known how soon.

Her territory had been threatened. And she thought Jem had had only one date. When Levi visited her again and mentioned Kacey and Lacey, all hell was going to break loose.

But Sydney would know before it happened. She'd have a measure in place...

“She did, but she's not on a rampage, if that's what you mean,” he told her. “She was actually better than I've heard her in a long time—rational, kind, thinking of others.”

Lacey felt a twinge of jealousy and turned away from it. She wasn't going back down the road of self-doubt. It was unhealthy—for her and for those she cared about.

Jem wasn't hers.

And even if they were officially together, if he suddenly decided he wanted his ex-wife, Lacey wanted him to say so and go. Because if he truly felt the need to be with her, then that was where he was meant to be. Right?

Her thoughts were all over the place.

She hated it.

“You were right, Lacey...” Jem sounded beaten. The self-doubt came clearly over the line and scared her.

“Right about what?” She clutched the sheet up to her chin.

“About Tressa. And Levi. I don't think it's actionable,” he said. “I've got a pretty clear picture now. I only wish I'd seen it sooner. He's been suffering through this all alone and...”

“No.” Relief made her giddy. Such relief. Levi was going to be safe.
Safe.
And Jem? “He wasn't suffering alone, Jem. He had you all the time. Your constant love and attention give him security. And we caught it in time.”

“But...”

“Look at how well he took to Kacey and me and going off alone with either one of us. That's the sign of a secure kid.”

“He cried when I left him at his mother's house.”

“Understandable.”

“But I didn't understand. I just thought he was upset because he couldn't come to work with me. Or work on the boat. Or...”

“Be with the dad who made him feel safe,” Lacey finished for him.

“Anyway, I need to know where we go from here.”

“What did you mean when you said there was nothing actionable?”

“I've been doing some reading. Tressa's got control issues. She overreacts. When she's sad, she bursts into tears. When she's happy, she's like a little kid. When she's angry...”

“She lashes out?”

“Not physically,” he said. “At least, not like I've been reading about. She doesn't hit him. At all. I asked him over and over. He swears his mother has never so much as slapped him on the bottom.”

“And you believe him.” She could only be a friend. After having slept with Jem, she was the furthest thing from impartial when it came to his ex-wife.

“I do.”

Problem was, she didn't completely trust his judgment on the subject, either. Most particularly after the way he'd made excuses for the other woman after her despicable behavior the previous week.

He told her about Levi flailing around in his sleep and hitting Tressa in the face with his cast when she was trying to wake him up from his nightmare. About her losing it and shaking him. About him almost drowning and then her forcing him to learn how to hold his breath underwater.

“What about the broken arm?” she asked.

“Levi wasn't really climbing up the bookcase. His mother had him up on the counter trying to wipe his nose and he wasn't letting her. She grabbed his arm, meaning to haul him toward her and get him in a clamp-hold, but she pulled too roughly and he fell off the counter.”

“You've spoken to her, then?”

“Not yet. I had to talk to you first.”

The ice around her heart softened. But she knew she couldn't advise him.

“Levi told me his version of things. Putting it together with what she's said and what I know about her, I think I've figured out what happened.”

She wasn't sure he had. But thought he could have. Still...

He hadn't mentioned anything about himself, about Tressa's misuse of him. To the contrary, he was still justifying her behavior.

Lacey wasn't jealous about that. At least not much. She was concerned.

Jem was never going to be free of the woman's manipulation unless he could see that what she was doing to him was wrong. Unless he could break away from her hold over him.

And she was the last person who could have that conversation with him.

“So what do we do?” he asked.

The “we” brought tears to her eyes.

“You need to call Sydney first thing in the morning, Jem. Tell her everything you just told me. She'll work with you from there.”

“What do you think she'll do?”

“I can only speak as your...person.” She'd tried to say
friend
, but couldn't minimize what he'd become in her life. Right or wrong, she was laying claim.

And giving him to Sydney, too.

“You consider yourself my...person?”

For the first time since she'd answered the phone, that certain tone was in his voice. Her body reacted immediately.

And she wondered what that said about her.

“I do.” For now.

“Good. Because I consider myself your...person, too.”

She felt kind of stupid sitting there alone, grinning through tears.

“So...as my...person, can you give me a bit of practical insight as to what I might be in for when I make my call in the morning? Should I take Levi to school first?”

“Definitely take him to school, and leave strict instructions that he isn't to be released to his mother's care.”

“Can I do that without a court order?”

“Yes, because you're the primary custodial parent. She can challenge it, but then they'll either call social services or the police, and either one will protect Levi.”

“Okay, then what?”

“Then Sydney will probably want to meet with you. And maybe you and Tressa together. She'll assess how bad Tressa's situation is and go from there.”

“Can you give me some parameters as to what the ‘go from there' could look like?”

He was already thinking of ways to help minimize the damage for Tressa. To prevent a tornado from disrupting their lives. She didn't have to see inside his head to know it. She'd seen it enough times to recognize it. Even just as a...person.

“She could be required to go through some kind of anger management course before she's allowed to see him again. More likely she'll be required to be assessed by a court-appointed psychiatrist. And will be allowed only supervised visits until the court determines that Levi is safe alone with her.”

“So they won't arrest her or anything?”

“Not if she cooperates...” Lacey broke off, knowing she'd made a mistake. She'd just told an abused husband how to fall prey to his ex-wife's manipulation. Jem was going to contact Tressa before Sydney had a chance to. She knew it as well as she knew she'd take her next breath.

Jem was a victim. She'd known that before she slept with him. Before she'd started to fall in love with him.

She just wasn't sure how anyone could help him to see it if he was incapable of looking. He hadn't been able to recognize that his own son was being victimized...

And if he didn't see it, he was never going to be free to be in any kind of a committed, one-on-one relationship with anyone. It would always be about appeasing Tressa—hiding things from her, placating her, doing what he had to do to keep the storm at bay.

It didn't matter what Jem wanted, what he promised Lacey or how much he might care about her. As long as Tressa had a hold of him, he wasn't a free man, no matter how much he loved or needed someone else.

Her heart shriveled in her chest. She didn't cry out. Or shed any tears at all. Not then. She just...knew.

“One other thing...” Jem broke into the silence that had fallen.

“What's that?”

“Can you confirm who called in the first place, if I guess it right?”

“Of course not.”

“I figured it out.”

“That's nice.” She was at work, having a conversation with a stranger. Not a woman lying in a sexy nightie talking to her new lover.

“I just... I want them to know how much I appreciate what they did,” he said. “I have to be able to thank them, Lacey. Or at least to stress that they did the right thing. So they'll do it again. Anytime. Every time. For every child. If not for them, I still wouldn't know, and Levi could have been paying for my ignorance for the rest of his life.”

She'd been about to tell him that his son would likely have told him eventually, when he got old enough that his anger outgrew his need for security. But, thinking of Jem, of the abuse he'd taken at his sister's hands, and the fact that she was the only one in the world he'd ever told about that, she kept her mouth shut.

Levi was a lot like Jem.

At least she'd been able to help one of them in time.

* * *

N
O
CHARGES
WERE
being filed against Tressa. Jem was so relieved he wanted to call Lacey immediately and let her know the good news.

He accepted Tressa's hug instead, holding her tight because he knew she needed it. He could feel how badly she was shaking. Knew how hard the hearing had been for her. And knew, too, that she was determined to be a mother who was safe for her son.

Their son.

It had been three days since he'd first called Sydney. As Lacey had predicted, the social worker had met with him first, at her office. And then she'd met with Tressa. He'd asked if he could be present, and when he'd been told that he could be, he'd called Tressa to let her know they were on their way to her place.

He'd told her that Levi had had some problems, and the truth had come out. There were no accusations because he knew she hadn't meant to do any of the things she'd done.

He'd had an entire night to calm down between his talk with his son and his conversation with Sydney. Even more time before he'd spoken with his ex-wife. Time to assimilate. To get on top of the situation with his son's best interests forefront in his mind.

He'd reassured Tressa that everything was going to be fine. As long as she cooperated. He'd told her that he'd be there with her every step of the way. That they'd get through it together. And that he didn't hate her.

But he had. For a few hours.

Until he'd realized that hating her for something she couldn't help wasn't good for anyone. Least of all him. If he allowed that kind of anger and hate to rule his life, he'd turn into his sister, and he wasn't about to do that.

No, the way out of this was to get help for Tressa. Sydney had taken statements from both of them. She'd helped Jem file for a court hearing, to amend their custody rights—leaving Tressa with only court supervised visits for now. And finally, three days after the ordeal had begun, it was done.

“Can I come over tonight?” Tressa asked as she climbed into his truck so he could take her home.

She'd asked him if he'd drive her to court, and because he thought it in all of their best interests that she be as calm and stable as possible, he'd agreed to do so.

He probably would have, anyway. It was the decent thing to do, given the circumstances.

“You know my rule regarding you at my place,” he said, hating to be firm, but he couldn't go back to having her unexpectedly popping up in his life. And most certainly not now that Lacey was a part of it.

He hadn't seen Lacey since Sunday. He'd wanted the cement floor to cure for a week before he started framing her room. And he'd been focused on the mess with Tressa. But he'd talked to her every night, lying in his bed while she lay in hers. Her voice had been the last thing he'd heard before sleep. Four nights in a row now.

He figured that was long enough to form an addiction...

“But I want to see him, Jem,” Tressa said now, her voice getting wobbly. “You've already said you're working this weekend and I can't have him at my place without making prior plans so someone from social services can be there. And Sydney said Thursday's too late to make those plans, at least this week, because the Santa Raquel office is so small and everyone is busy...”

He could feel the storm brewing. It was only noon. Levi's doctor's appointment for cast removal was at 1:00 p.m. If all went well, they'd be done by 2:00 p.m. Which gave him three hours before his date with Lacey.

Kacey was leaving on Saturday and had been asking for more Levi time before she left. She had a cast off party all planned for him.

“How about if I bring him by your place as soon as he gets his cast off?” Jem improvised. He wasn't going to have Tressa in episodic mode ruining the evening he had planned. “You can be the first to celebrate with him.”

Maybe they could turn the broken-arm moment with Levi's mother into something healthy. “It would be a good chance for you to apologize to him.” Sydney had stressed that Tressa had some damage to undo with her son. Starting with acknowledging that she'd been the one who'd been bad, not him, and assuring him that no one was ever going to do anything to take him away from his father.