His Forever (His #3) (4 page)

“
We grew apart…or maybe our relationship was doomed to fail from the beginning.  She said I worked too much.  I thought she complained too much.  When I found out she was abusing prescription pills I gave her an ultimatum:  stop or walk away.  She chose the pills,” he shrugged.  “So I made her leave.”

“Leave the house?” I asked, leaning forward in my seat.

“No, the country,” he replied.  “My old man was an alcoholic.  He’d beat us kids black and blue without any provocation when he was on one of his benders.  I wasn’t about to have history repeat itself with Hayden.  I told Hayden’s mother she was never to contact him again and, in return, I’d pay her living expenses.  I’m still paying her rent to this day.”

I cringed at Henrik’s words, simultaneously horrified and saddened by what he’d just told me.  “Do you think Hayden’s mother would have hurt him?” I asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“Probably not on purpose,” Henrik conceded.  “But it was only a matter of time until she crashed the car with the boy in it or did some other incredibly stupid thing.  I wasn’t about to have him find her cold dead body after an overdose…although some might say I coddled him too much.”

What I was hearing was incredible, really.  I knew for a fact that Hayden would never in a million years say that his father had coddled him.  He’d say that Henrik had abandoned him, shipping him away to boarding school so as to avoid being inconvenienced by him. 
I understood that in Hayden’s mind and heart, that was exactly what had happened and the betrayal had cut deep.  But hearing Henrik’s version of events was opening my mind to new possibilities.

I hadn’t been sure what to make of the
man but I’d been leaning toward detesting him.  Now, though…now I wasn’t sure.  For the first time since I’d met him, he seemed human to me.  It didn’t mean I agreed with his decisions concerning Hayden – because I didn’t – but I was beginning to understand that Henrik had issues of his own.  Maybe his misguided attempts at parenting Hayden over the years had been the best he was capable of given his own tumultuous upbringing.

“Don’t
you look at me like that, with
pity
in your eyes,” Henrik sneered, instantaneously morphing back into that snide, overly-confident billionaire I’d initially met.  Yet I could still tell he was guarded – it was in his eyes.  In some ways the resemblance between him and his son was uncanny.  “I don’t need anyone’s pity.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

He looked amused then, if not a little surprised.  He set his empty glass down on the desk with a thud, his eyes trained on me as though I was a riddle he wanted to solve.  “Okay?” he repeated as though he thought he may have misheard me. 

I nodded.  “I don’t pity you.  Hayden would tell me I shouldn’t believe a word you say.”

Henrik chuckled.  “That does sound like something he’d say.  But you do believe me, don’t you?” he pressed.  “I can see it in your eyes.  You’re a smart woman, Daniella.  I think you can recognize the truth for what it is.  You’re a teacher, aren’t you?”

“I was a Sociology instructor, yes,” I replied, feeling a twinge of sadness as I thought of the life I’d left behind.  I’d thought the pull to be in the classroom would dissipate as time went on but if anything it had just grown stronger.  I missed teaching
.  To me, it was as essential to my well-being as breathing.

“P
erhaps you might be interested in my library,” Henrik offered, standing up and opening his office door.  “Collecting art is my primary passion but I’ve also built up quite the selection of books.  You’re welcome to them, if you’d like.  You’ll find the library at the very end of the corridor.”

Apparently that was my cue that our discussion was over.  I stood, thanked him and walked out.
  I was oddly pleased that Henrik had offered me use of his library.  Not only had he correctly deduced that I loved to read, but in a way it also felt like he’d made a peace offering in his own peculiar way. 

“Daniella,” Henrik
called me back at the last minute.

I
stopped in my tracks and turned.  “Yes, Mr. Slate?”

“Join me for drinks again tomorrow afternoon,” he commanded.  “And call me Henrik.”

“Here you are,” a familiar voice behind me said the next day, cutting into my thoughts. 

I looked up and blinked, feeling a bit dazed.  A glance at the window told me it had grown dark outside. 
The daylight had faded and I hadn’t even noticed.  I’d been so engrossed in what I was doing that I’d lost track of time…and everything else.  I tended to get that way sometimes when I was absorbed in my work.

“Hi,” I greeted Hayden, happy to see he seemed a bit less tense. 
He looked as sexy as ever in a light grey suit, black button up shirt and royal blue silk tie.  But then he looked good in everything – with a body like that it was no wonder!  His muscles just seemed to go on for days I thought to myself hungrily.

“You were gone when I woke up this morning,”
I told him as my eyes roamed longingly over his buff physique.  “I missed you.” 

What I didn’t say was I’d missed waking up to our morning lovemaking, our bodies entangled in the sheets as we began our day in the sweetest way imaginable.  I hoped those days weren’t behind us, perhaps abandoned in Jamaica…  Part of me hoped Hayden would read between the lines and take me right then and there, but I quickly saw he was distracted.

“Sorry.  I had an early business meeting to attend with my father – a condition of living here with him,” Hayden rolled his eyes.  “I didn’t want to wake you because you looked so peaceful, but I left you a note on my pillow.”

“
Uh huh, I found it.”

“What are you doing holed up all alone in the library?” he asked, then he smacked his forehead as though that was the stupidest question ever.  “Actually, I guess I can’t say I’m surprised. 
Knowing you, this is exactly where I’d expect to find you.  I should have tried looking for you here first.”  Clearly he was frazzled if he hadn’t thought of that until now.

“Your father has the most incredible library
I’ve ever seen,” I breathed.  Even though I’d been in there basking in its gloriousness for hours, I was still awestruck.  I felt like a little kid who’d stumbled into a candy factory, wonderstruck and on a delicious sugar high.  I hadn’t felt that way in a long, long time.

The library
was two entire floors of wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling books.  They just seemed to go on forever.  In fact, I’d had to use a ladder to access some of them.  And Henrik’s collection wasn’t comprised of just any books, but high quality, fascinating and surprisingly relevant ones.  It was truly incredible.  I could lose myself in there for hours – and apparently I had.

“What are you reading?” he asked
curiously, moving behind me and peering over my shoulder. 

“Actually,” I said a little sheepishly, “I found some books that would be perfect for my research. 
I’ve just been sitting here taking notes for…I guess it’s been hours now.  I know it probably seems silly to you but I’d really love to finish my research project even though…”  I trailed off then, but Hayden read my thoughts.

“Even though you’
re no longer a college instructor,” he finished for me sadly before sitting down in the immensely comfortable overstuffed armchair across from me.  He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he studied my face intently.  “You miss it, don’t you?” 

We both knew it wasn’t really a question given how obvious the answer was.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded.  I missed it terribly.  I missed it more than I could ever put into words.  I’d had no closure and I wasn’t coping with the loss well.  It felt like a part of me had died, or at least been abandoned.  It felt like giving up a child.

“I’m not sure applying to teach at one of the colleges out here would be safe,” Hayden pointed out
, his concern for my welfare evident.  “The logistics of arranging for security on a campus…it would be tough…maybe impossible.  What about teaching online courses?” he asked hopefully.  “Would that scratch the itch?”

I loved him for caring
so much about what was important to me solely because it was important to me.  I loved him for wanting to move mountains to give me everything my heart desired.  But let’s face it:  mountains
aren’t
movable.  And besides, in recent days I’d come to understand it wasn’t just teaching I loved – it was teaching in Burlington on the campus I adored that made me come alive inside.

“I don’t think teaching anywhere else would be the same,” I confessed, wishing that wasn’t the ca
se.  I hated to be difficult.  I didn’t want to be dismissive of Hayden’s attempts to help me do what I was born for.  But I couldn’t help the way I felt.

Hayden looked at me apologetically.  “
I hate that you had to give your teaching position up,” he said.  “It was your passion, I know.  I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to find the bastard behind the death threats.  I don’t understand why communication has just stopped completely.  It doesn’t make sense.”  His frustration was evident.  “I thought by now life would be back to normal...I bet you wish you’d never met me.”

“That’s not true!” I interjected, impassioned.  “Meeting you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  If I had a hundred chances to choose between you and my career, I’d pick you every time, Hayden.  There’s no question about it.”

My words were meant to comfort him, but he didn’t look placated.  Instead, he looked sad.  “Daniella,” he sighed, shaking his head like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders.  “You’re missing the point.  You shouldn’t have to choose.”

In that instant I realized I missed Hayden
terribly.  It was a strange realization because we were living under the same roof.  Only a short while ago we’d been lying on the beach, me in his hammock, his hot skin pressed against mine.  I could taste the seawater on his lips and feel the electricity in his veins.  But that seemed like a lifetime ago. 

Now we were back in America and I missed him.

“Where have you been all day?” I asked.  I knew his meeting couldn’t have taken the entire day.

“I went to visit Steve
to see if he knew anything that could help me get to the bottom of this damn mystery.  He tried hard to help but he really doesn’t know any more than we do, so it was an exercise in futility.”

“Oh…
how is Steve?”

“He’
s homeless and destitute,” Hayden replied, his sharp tone making it clear he was still irritated with me for questioning Steve Martel’s integrity.  “He’s been sleeping on the street downtown and looks a mess…and it’s all because he was trying to help me.  It kills me to see him that way, Daniella.  I feel so guilty and Steve doesn’t deserve to live like that.  Not that I expect you to care.” 

I sighed
, feeling like we were going around in circles.  It was dizzying, a ride I’d never wanted to be on in the first place.  “I care,” I assured him.  “When I questioned Steve’s motives I was just playing devil’s advocate, trying to offer some perspective.  I didn’t mean to imply he’s a bad person.”

“If you say so,” Hayden replied, sounding unconvinced.

I chose to ignore his tone.  “Were you at least able to give him some money?” I asked, hoping to steer the conversation in a slightly more positive direction. 

“No. 
All I was able to give him was my watch to sell.  My father wouldn’t tell me where to find him until I handed over all the cash I had on me.  Can you believe that man?  He takes my mother away and then he takes Steve away.”  Hayden was practically seething with anger.  “He’s such a twisted control freak!”

I said nothing.  I’d always been outspoken but I sensed that now wasn’t the time.  Hayden didn’t want to hear about my
eye opening conversation with his father or attempt to appreciate a different perspective.  He wanted to vent.  So I let him.

“Can you believe he had the audacity to say my mother was an addict and he was trying to
protect
me from her when he sent her away?” Hayden spat.  I could practically see the rage coming off him in waves.  “How dare he?”

“Do you think the addict part was at least true?”
I asked cautiously.

“No,” Hayden replied immediately.  “Well…maybe.  I was pretty young but I do remember she was sick a lot.  She’d always tell me she was taking her medicine…”  He trailed off then, looking pained.  “
Maybe she did abuse prescription pills,” he finally relented.  “But that doesn’t make what my father did right, cutting my mother right out of my life with no warning and then sending me off to boarding school.”

“You’re right,” I agreed.  “It doesn’t.
  Do you think maybe he believed he was protecting you?”

“
Who knows?  Ugh,” Hayden said, standing and beginning to pace.  “Being back here close to my father just makes me so crazy.  I feel like I’m coming unhinged.  But you always have a way of putting me back together when I fall apart, Daniella.  I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m the one who insisted we come here,” I reminded him guiltily.  “Do you think we should go?  If you want to leave, just say the word.  I’ll
follow you anywhere.”