His Heart for the Trusting (4 page)

Her hand went
to her belly and she began to rub it.

“And I can't
ask Corrine to watch him day in and day out.  She has her own life, too.”

“You don't
have--” Mandy started to say before Mitch cut her off.

Holding up a
hand, he said, “I know both of you will help me out when you can.  I suspect
Corrine will probably enjoy doting on a kid or two by the way she's been going
on about you being pregnant and all.  I just can't ask you to take on the
responsibility every day.  That's my job.”

“You could hire
a nanny for when you work during the day,” Sara said.

“And what about
at night.  A cowboy doesn't work a normal nine to five job.”

Sara shrugged. 
“Then hire a live-in nanny.  That way you can see the baby when you can and
work when you have to.  People do it and it works.  You just have to find the
right person you trust.”

Mitch's lips
tilted to a grin for the first time since he'd walked into the house and met
his son.  “The baby seems pretty content with you.”

The alarming
gaze Sara shot at him reminded Mitch of a deer blinded by headlights.  Her eyes
were now dry and for the first time, he really noticed them.  They were a rich
brown color that lit up when she looked at Jonathan.  That baby looked as
natural in her arms as the mountain range stretched out in the horizon. But
right now, her eyes flashed with a burst of lightning that made him suck in a
breath.

“Oh, no.  No,
no,” she said, shaking her head. 

He forged on. 
“Why not?”

“Because
I…can't.  That's all.  I can't do it.”

“Anyone can see
that taking care of a baby is way beyond my ability.”

“No kidding. 
But I'm sorry.  I can't be the one to help you.  After I leave here I'm going
back to the reservation.”

“For good?”
Mandy asked.

Sara blew out a
quick breath that hinted of dread.  “We'll see how the reunion goes first.  I'm
not sure how they're going to feel having me back after all this time.  Or if
they'll truly believe I'm here to stay.”

“You know,
Sara.  It would go a long way with your parents if you had a job,” Mandy said. 

Mitch shot Sara
a quick glance.

“Don’t look at
me that way,” she said quickly.  “I want to be on the reservation. Being a
storyteller, and teaching the young people on the rez about our culture, was
the whole reason for leaving California.”

“Are you sure? 
I can’t say that I wouldn’t mind having you close by,” Mandy said.

“It would
certainly help me,” Mitch added.

Sara didn't
answer.

“Okay, I won’t
push.  But be careful what you wish for,” Mandy said.  “Life in LA is quite
different than in Steerage Rock.  Believe me, I know.  It takes time to get
used to the new pace. You were so eager to leave home before, and you don't
know how things are going to be when you get back.  If you have a job, even if
it is off the reservation, it'll prove to your family that you're home for good
without committing you to the reservation until you know for sure how you'll
feel being home.”

“But if I don't
go home--I mean all the way home--they'll never truly believe I've come home
for good.  No, I need to be on the reservation.  For myself as well as for them.”

Sara turned to
Mitch and nuzzled the baby with her cheek.  “This baby is a dear.  But taking
care of him is a full time responsibility and would demand all my time.  To do
it properly, and fit in with a rancher's hours, I'd need to live here.”

“That works for
me.  I've got the room.  I'm in the middle of remodeling the house on the other
side of the bunkhouse.  But it's fit to live in now.  There’s an empty bedroom
there right now, but it won’t be for long.  Just say the word.”

Sara shook her
head.  “Being a nanny would take all of my time and when would I have time for
the stories?”

“We could work
around that.  I'd make sure it worked.”

Mitch could
tell he was losing this battle.  It had been too easy a proposition and if Sara
had agreed, it would have been the answer to his prayers.  

“There's
nothing written in stone that says you can't stay here on the ranch and work
things out with your parents before going back to the reservation for good,”
Mandy said.

Not ready to
admit defeat, Mitch gave it one more try.  “Look, Sara, I know you've got to do
what you've got to do.  I can respect that.  This baby is just as unexpected
for me as my asking you to take care of him.  But I can't work the ranch and be
up all night with a baby.  It just can't be done.  I'd be eternally grateful if
you'd consider doing it, if only until I can find someone permanent to replace
you.”

Sara tilted a
thinly lined eyebrow and smiled, and his breath hitched in his throat.  In
theory, it could work.  But having a beautiful woman like Sara Lightfoot in his
house was going to be a major distraction. 

“I thought you
were already eternally grateful.”

Mitch's eyes
gleamed as he gave Sara a slow smile.  “I'll mean it this time, if you take the
job.”

* * *

Sara thought
about the unexpected turn of events.  Why did the idea of living under the same
roof with Mitch Broader stir her so?  Surely, it was just nerves.  Nerves over
seeing her family after so long and facing up to her past, she decided after a
while.  And yet there was something appealing about easing her way back home
rather than dropping herself on her family’s doorstep after nine years.

She thought
about all the plans she made before leaving.  They’d kept her going during her
divorce.  She’d dreamed of being a Native American storyteller, teaching the
Apache culture to the young people on the reservation.  None of that was set up
yet.  Why couldn't she take care of Jonathan for a little while as she arranged
all the details on the reservation?

“Okay,” she
finally said.  When Mitch heaved a sigh of relief, Sara amended, “But this is
only temporary.  Just until I can set things up on the reservation.  It'll give
you time to get yourself use to handling the baby, and to find someone
permanent.”

“It's a deal.” 
He took her hand in his.  The strength of his touch shouldn’t have surprised
her, but it did.  His hand was rough, the color of the weather-beaten earth,
and the strength of his hand holding hers made her head spin.  She wondered if
she hadn't suddenly made a wager with the devil.

Sure, Mitch was
a cowboy and cowboys worked sun up to sun down nonstop.  None of the work was
pretty.  That accounted for the calluses on his palms and the dirt under his
nails.  But this wasn't work strength.  It was something more.

She snatched
her hand from his grip, uneasy with the slight tremble that quickened her
heartbeat.

Mitch blew out
a sigh of a relief.  “When can I get you moved in?”

Still feeling
the effects of his touch, Sara teased.  “Are you afraid I'll change my mind?”

“If you did,
I'd do my best to change it back.  I need you, Sara.”

A quick burst
of warm emotion spread through her chest like hot frosting on a toasted bun. 
Mitch needed her help with the baby.  There was a time when she thought no one
needed her.  Her ex-husband had made it clear that he had wanted her. 
Possessing her was more like it.  But he'd never really needed her.  The
children she cared for at the daycare had needed her care, but it wasn't the
same thing as with their parents.

Deep down, Sara
had always thought that someday she'd have a loving home again.  One that
needed her and loved her.  Mitch didn't love her, he was merely asking her to
watch this little baby who was an innocent in a story she knew nothing about. 

What makes a
mother toss away a child?  What did this child's mother go through to lead her
to leaving her child on the doorstep of a father who didn't even know he
existed? 

It wasn't her
problem to figure it out.  She wasn't staying very long anyway.  Mitch didn't
need her, but she could be of help.  Feeling part of her old world again, even
if she weren’t on the reservation, would bring her closer to home.

“Like I said, I
will watch the baby until you get settled.  But tonight, I do have to go to the
reservation to see my family.  Can you manage until then?”

“Most of the
cooking is under control now.  I can watch Jonathan while you're gone, unless
of course you want me to go with you,” Mandy said.

Sara smiled
even though her heart beat louder with each passing second.  “Having you there
as an ally would make things so much easier.  But I have to do this one
myself.”

* * *

As Sara
expected, her homecoming was both shocking and emotional.  The Apache people
valued family ties.  Deep down, she knew her family wouldn't turn her away. 
The wind had carried her home, her father had said.  The apprehension in her
mother's eyes was apparent when she told them she was going back to The Double
T.  As she feared, her family wouldn't believe she was truly home unless she
remained on the reservation. 

She wanted
that, too. 

As she drove
back to Steerage Rock, she decided there was time for all that.  Time for more
healing, and to put in place her plans to teach the young Apache children the
stories of their culture.  These old stories were something she knew had been
slipping away as the modern world clashed with old-time beliefs.

It was after
eleven o'clock when she pulled up the main road to The Double T.  Those who'd
been participating in the barn raising had long since returned to their own
homes.  There were just empty tables and chairs on the back lawn to indicate
their presence now. 

The main house
was dark, and Sara's eyes were immediately drawn to the lights in the bunkhouse
out back and the foreman’s house beyond that.  She pulled her car up next to
the parked pickup truck out front of the foreman's house and killed the
ignition.  As she stepped out of the car into the cool night air, she groaned. 
Jonathan was crying.

* * *

If tonight was
any indication of how his life was going to be from now on, he was in deep
trouble.  Mitch stood helplessly on the other side of the room, leaning against
the wood grained wall he'd sanded and stained no less than two weeks ago,
watching as Sara worked her magic to calm Jonathan once again. 

Mandy had taken
charge of Jonathan's care most of the time while Sara was at the reservation. 
Corrine had given her a break to eat and then passed the baby around for some
of the other women at the barn raising to dote on. 

Mitch marveled
as Beau carried Jonathan around, announcing that he'd have a kid of his own in
just a few short months.  There was such joy in Beau's eyes that Mitch found
himself a little jealous of his friend.  He didn't feel that joy yet. 

He wondered if
he'd ever feel it when not ten minutes upon returning to his house after the
festivities, Jonathan started fussing.  And he hadn’t a clue of what to do! 
When Sara had arrived, Mitch had been at the end of his rope.  How could he
possibly keep this baby?

“This is
ridiculous.  I need to go to Baltimore,” he said finally.

Sara peered up
at him from her seat in the rocking chair, her dark eyes filled with
questions.  But she said nothing.

“I need to find
Jonathan's mother.  His mother lives in Baltimore.  Or at least, she did.”

Sara nodded. 
“And his father lives right here.”

Mitch shook his
head and grunted his frustration.  “I don't know that for sure.”

“That's pretty
apparent or you wouldn't feel compelled to take this child all the way back
across the country after he’s already come such a long way.”

Contemplating
her words, he replied, “You don't think I should?”

“It's not my
decision to make.  I'm not Jonathan's parent.”

Mitch threw up
his hands in frustration and dropped down on the sofa opposite Sara.  “That's
my point exactly.  I don't know if I am either.  I mean, yes, there is a
possibility.  But Lillian was no angel.  That’s the reason we’re no longer
together.”

Sara was quiet
for a moment, turning her sole attention to the baby was finally falling asleep
in her arms.  When she lifted her head to gaze at Mitch, a lock of her black
hair fell to her cheek, framing her face.  His chest squeezed just seeing how
beautiful she really was.

None of this
made any sense.  Yesterday he was alone in this house.  He had his goals and he
didn't need anyone.  Now a baby and beautiful woman had moved into his world,
and suddenly nothing made any sense.

“There are some
things you just know.  It has nothing to do with DNA or names on a birth
certificate.  You just know.  Do you believe this baby is really yours?”

Sara held the
baby as if he was an extension of her, not him.  What she was asking, he truly
didn't have the answer to.  He wished he did.  It would make things so much
easier now.  When he looked at Jonathan, he saw a stranger, not someone who had
come from him or was a part of him.

Sensing his
feelings, her lips stretched into a slow grin that had him forgetting her words
and concentrating only on her perfectly shaped mouth that now looked far too
kissable.  “The uncles always say the answers could be found in the wind if
you'll only listen.  But deep down in your heart, I think you have your
answer.  You just have to ask yourself.”

Mitch couldn't
help but smile.  He knew nothing about tribal beliefs, even though Sara's
family had been visiting The Double T for all of the ten years he'd worked
here.  Something about what she was saying rang true.

“Here, take him
in your arms,” she said, lifting out of the rocking chair slowly and delicately
padding across the room to where he was now sitting on the sofa.  He took
Jonathan in his arms, felt his heart beating strong in his chest, and his arms
begin to tremble.