His Kind of Perfect (Sugar Bay #1) (19 page)

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” Claire slipped away.

The little group was quiet in her absence.

“What just happened here?” Ethan sounded as
baffled as she felt.

She shrugged. “I’m not sure. Tomas?
Anything you should be telling me?” She ignored the awkward feeling of
interrogating a grown man about his relationship with her mother.

“Your mother is going through a change.”

“I think she’s already gone through ‘the
change’.”

“Not the physical change, my dear, more
like a perspective change.”

“She has been different since her return.
Sort of strange.”

“Her thoughts have molded her life for a
long time and change is difficult for anyone. Only she can decide whether she
can embrace something different or go on in the safety of the familiar.”

“Is he some sort of Zen master?” She raised
an eyebrow at Ethan. “I’m waiting for a beam of light to illuminate him or
something?”

“I know, right?”

“He’s so
reasonable
.”

“Yep. Try debating with him. It’s
impossible. As a teenager after a wild night out, he was so reasonable, he kind
of sucked the fun out of breaking the rules.”

“Is that so?”

Tomas shrugged while Ethan grimaced.

“I better go check on her.”

A bench outside at the end of the crepe
myrtle allee was her mother’s refuge.

“Hi,” she said, after making enough noise
so she wouldn’t give her mother a second heart attack. “You okay?”

“I feel foolish.”

“For what?”

“Acting like a drama queen.”

“Nah. It could’ve been worse.”

“He makes me feel…I don’t know.” She picked
up a fallen flower and plucked at the petals. “He makes me think…”

She sat and listened, knowing her mother
needed to process her thoughts. She hoped Tomas was patient because in terms of
dating speed, her mother was tortoise slow.

It was the closest she’d ever felt to her
mother. Their relationship was not the touchy feely sort. As much as she’d
wished for it as a young girl, it hadn’t materialized and the sight of her
mother as a vulnerable human being with fears and concerns was surreal. She was
less like the distant ‘mother’ and more like a relatable ‘mom’.

“Tomas wanted to see me…you know, in the
romantic sense,” she whispered and darted a glance at Anabelle as if unsure of
the reaction.

“I see.”

“Do you, Anabelle? I loved your father. He
was everything to me and I was devastated when he died. I’m afraid I’m one of
those people who feels too deeply and I’m scared.” Claire sighed, the sound
pathetic
in its misery.

“Oh, mom.” The word rolled off her tongue.
It felt strange but good at the same time. Anabelle placed an arm around her
mother’s shoulders. “You’ve got to stop being scared,” she said then corrected
herself, “
We’ve
got to stop.”

“I know you’re miserable Anabelle. But it
gets better. I don’t want to see you suffer the way I did. If you fall too
deeply, there’s only suffering ahead. I want to wrap you in a cocoon of cotton
and protect you. Can’t you see?”

Anabelle looked at her mother, looked at
the woman she’d never understood yet had always wanted to know better. All her
life she’d yearned to get close but couldn’t because she wasn’t allowed.
The distance between them wasn’t because Claire didn’t care, but
because she cared
too
much.
She
lived in protection mode, in a state of hyper alert.

Anabelle thought about the years she’d
envied her friends’ close relationships with their mothers, the cozy girl talks
with advice given and debated. The concept of giggling with her mother over
subjects like boys, makeup, clothes or gossip was odd.
Claire
hadn’t been a bad mother
,
she was just distant
.
Claire always made sure she had new clothes and had a sense of security. She’d
coordinated pick up and drop off logistics for an assortment of activities but
there had always been a sense of disconnect, as if she’d been going through the
motions.

It was no wonder she’d been ripe for
Gavin’s pursuit. She’d been starved of love and affection.

What a
mess.

Anabelle didn’t want to live in a bubble,
divorced from emotion. Thoughts of Derek came to mind, his bravery, his desire
for her, and his vulnerability. He’d accepted she could hurt him with her
decisions, but he’d been brave, willing to risk because in his mind, the
rewards were worth so much more than the possibility of loss.

Her mother’s shell had cracked and tears
streaked down her cheeks. It was like she’d imploded and a rush of emotion
tumbled to the surface, pouring out of her like a long dormant volcano.

Anabelle wanted to live, wanted to
experience the rush of love, of excitement, of joy. She wasn’t sure if her
mother would ultimately have the courage to let Tomas into her life, but
Anabelle wasn’t going to follow her mother’s path.

Derek
wanted her in his life.

That was profound. She’d dreamed of having that
for so long. Why had she been foolish to turn him away because she hated
gossip? Passing up the chance to love and be loved, for however long was
something her mother encouraged.
Because of fear.
But
she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t live her life that way any longer. Her
mother was an adult and had to make her own decisions.
Just
as she was an adult.

The good girl mantle had weighed on her for
long enough. She’d always done the proper thing.
Valedictorian,
check.
Masters degree, check.
Successful business
owner, check.
Volunteer, check. Her life had been series of checklist.
To do lists, priority lists and attack lists had run her life.

She thought of the checklist she’d written
with Charlie. Strong, financially secure, family oriented, even the ridiculous
sex god criteria Charlie had added. Derek was all that and more.

His age had nothing to do with his
maturity.

She had to let go of society’s dictates and
the rules decided upon by nameless people.

“Mother.”

The horrible wrenching sounds her mother
made was hard to speak over.

“Mother. Mom. Listen.”

Her mother
hiccupped,
the sound came out something like a snort and for a second Anabelle was
distracted by the sight of her mother looking less than her usual perfect self.

“Yes?”

“I’m going to see Derek again.”

“But I thought—“

“No mother. I let your fear guide me. I’m
going to talk to him and apologize for being a coward, for not throwing myself
at him in joy when he proposed and for hurting him. I don’t know if he will
talk to me but I want to try.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am. And if we move pass this, I don’t
want to hear anymore doomsday scenario from you, understand?”

“But—“

“No more, mom.”

I’ve spent my life doing things your way,
trying to make you happy. It’s exhausting. So now I’m going to try my way.
Derek is a good man. Once you get past his age and get to know him, you’ll see
it. The way he makes me feel…trust me, I don’t want to pass the chance to be
happy.”

Her mother nodded. Tonight she looked more
human, less perfect, not bad but more real. Anabelle smiled and patted her
mother’s hand. “Now go wash up, you’ve got a scary case of raccoon eyes going
on.”

She stood and brushed leaves from her
bottom. “Whether or not you choose to pursue a relationship with Tomas is up to
you. You know my vote. He’s Ethan’s dad and you adore Ethan so Tomas can’t be
that bad. Besides, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a
brother.” She winked and walked away. She chuckled at the sound of her mother’s
sputtering and felt lighter than she had in years.

Maybe there was still a chance to have the
mother/daughter relationship she’d always wanted.

Anabelle smoothed her skirt, checked her
teeth in the glass reflection of the storefront and popped a mint. Butterflies
partied hard in her belly but she did her best to ignore them, taking a deep
breath.

The Street Market today was Derek’s Sunday haunt.
He preferred to support local families, farmers and vendors.

A familiar blue plaid shirt caught her eye
in the reflection and she turned. She drank in the familiar sight of him until
she noticed the pretty brunette by his side. Of Asian descent and medium in
height, the girl was beautiful. Anabelle physically ached when Derek slung his
arms over the girl’s shoulders.

He’d moved on.

It was too late.

She felt stupid and also a bit disillusioned.

She’d thought he’d been devastated yet recovery
hadn’t taken long because he stood laughing and teasing another woman.

A woman who was not
Anabelle.

She felt a desperate need to get far, far away,
before he saw her. Somewhere she could lick her wounds in private. Seeing the
pity in his eyes would kill her. She groaned because she was wearing this dress
and these ridiculous heels because he loved them, further evidence of her
stupidity.

With an eye on the approaching couple,
Anabelle maneuvered between two vendor stalls. A parked stroller with a tow
headed toddler already occupied the space. The little cutie sat eating cheerios.
Every once in a while he bounced the red balloon tied to his wrist while his
mom spoke with the vendor.

She was trapped.

She couldn’t retreat the way she came, and
she couldn’t go forward, it was too tight.

There was nothing left to do but pray. If
she could get away before Derek saw her she promised to have lunch with her
mother and cronies and keep her mouth shut while they dissected her every
fault. Just let her escape unnoticed.

The sound of her breathing was loud in the
small space. With her heart pounding like an out of shape couch potato after a
cross fit session, she waited. The toddler stared at her, seemingly fascinated.
He tilted his head, his cheerios forgotten except for one that hung off his
bottom lip.

“You’re missing one sweetie.”

No response except a wide-eyed blink.

“Suck in your lower lip,” she said. The
sight of the hanging cereal bothered her and she licked her lower lip,
demonstrating so he could copy and get the last bit.

He grinned, not understanding her or maybe
not caring. The cereal remained attached so she gave up. Her new friend thrust
a red balloon in her face, babbling like he wanted her to admire his toy. He
bounced in his stroller and the balloon bobbed against her face.

“Pretty,” she said in admiration and
brushed the balloon away from her face. He swung it back and bounced more. The
little guy wanted to play.

“Take it easy, will you?” She swatted at it,
she didn’t want the bouncing balloon to bring unwanted attention.

But like a man, he didn’t listen, preferred
to do it his way, so up and down he went, and continued his assault.

As focused as she was on haggling with the
vendor, the mother was no help. Anabelle could have made off with her precious
cargo and the lady wouldn’t have known.

Bounce. Swipe.

It continued until it occurred to her the
balloon could be a shield. From behind the red latex, she scanned her
surroundings and sighed in relief when there was no sign of him.

Perfect.

She pushed the balloon towards the toddler
to make her escape and heard a loud pop.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, little guy.”

Her little friend bawled like Anabelle had
killed his best friend. She’d unleashed the beast and he was not happy with
her.

“So sorry, buddy,” she crooned but he
wasn’t having it and increased his volume. Between the quivering lip and his red
scrunched up face, she felt terrible and rummaged her purse for a peace
offering.

Money?

Too young to bribe.

Keys?

Kids like the noise but she’d need those for
later.

Gum?

Maybe. Just as she handed gum to the kid his
mother finally paid attention.

“Excuse me. What are you giving my kid?”

“Gum?”

“Are you crazy?”

Anabelle winced at the mom’s strident note
and panicked, wanting to get out of there. “I’m sorry I popped his balloon. Please
take this and get him another.” She thrust out a five-dollar bill and fled. Eager
to escape the wrath of an angry mom and her unhappy son, she bolted and ran
into a solid warm wall.

The force of impact made her stagger back.
Strong hands steadied her else she would have fallen.

Would
this morning never end
?

“Pardon me.”

“Anabelle?”

Well
damn.

“Hi. I mean…hello Derek.” She sounded like
she’d swallowed a frog and cleared her throat. It was time to channel her rusty,
almost non-existent acting skills. Never mind that the sum of her experience
was a summer production of Robin Hood. She’d been a convincing Friar Tuck even
if her stuffed pillow had fallen from her robe in the middle of the scene.
Charlie, who’d been Robin
Hood
had howled with laughter
and the crowd had loved them. That summed up the pinnacle of her acting career.

“How have you been?” His gaze searched hers
and heat suffused her.

“Doing well,” she lied, hoping the restless
nights weren’t apparent. The eye cream she’d bought was supposedly top of the
line; she’d paid enough for it so they’d better hide the bags under her eyes.

His gaze skimmed the length of her body.
“You look good.”

She flushed, pleased with her ridiculous efforts,
but knew she shouldn’t be. Then she remembered his new friend and all of her pleasure
died.

“Sorry I almost took you down. Thanks for
saving me but I have to go.”

“Wait. I want to introduce you to—“

“No. I
really
have to go.” Panic spread when he turned and pulled the girl forward.

“Really quick.”

She edged away but he caught her elbow and
pulled her back.

“Anabelle,” he said next to her ear. The
combination of his proximity and rough whisper brought back erotic memories and
she shivered.

“Please Derek. Don’t make me.” She wasn’t
above pleading but he stroked the skin above her elbow and her traitorous body responded.

“What are you talking about?” He sounded
puzzled.

“I wish you both much happiness,” she said,
trying to be brave before she lost it in front of his newest conquest standing a
few feet away.

“Both?” He turned her to face him, his
hands on her waist.

“You and your new girlfriend.” She moved
away but he wouldn’t let go.

“Woman, we just broke up, there is no new
girlfriend. Jeez, what kind of player do you think I am?” He looked fierce like
he wanted to shake her, but she knew he wouldn’t.

“No?”

“Damn. Woman, you could drive a man to
drink.” He thrust a hand through his hair, and she kind of felt sorry for the
follicles, he’d been so rough.

“Okay, okay. Take it easy. You don’t want
to go bald, do you?” She put a hand on his chest in an effort to calm him.

He stiffened at the contact and captured
her hand with his. She tried to tug it back but he refused to release her. Instead
he pressed his forehead against hers. “I…am…not…a…player.”

She nodded and he held her gaze as if he
willed her to understand. He released a frustrated sound and pulled her close,
squeezing her tight, as if he didn’t want to let her go.

“Hey now, Derek. We’re in public. You can’t
go around mauling unsuspecting females. You could get locked up for that.”

“Shut up Dylan.”

“Just saying.”

“Dylan? Your sister, Dylan?”

“The one and only.”

“But I thought—“

“Yes, I’m aware of what you thought.” He
raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “Really, Anabelle? When have I given the
impression that I’m a player?”

“My brother? A player?”

Dylan chuckled while Derek gave her another
python squeeze like he wanted to make sure she didn’t disappear. “My brother
wouldn’t dare, he’d be rendered helpless after his two sisters and three nieces
henpecked him to submission.”

Derek made a face and shrugged. “Meet my
sister, Dylan.”

Anabelle looked back and forth from brother
to sister, trying to find a resemblance. They had the same smile, the same lopsided,
single dimpled grin and maybe even the same ear shape. The difference being
Dylan was half Asian, with freckles and long, dark hair. Beyond the smile she didn’t
look much like Derek or Dani. Still she was beautiful and smiled in greeting. Her
eyes held sadness and Anabelle remembered the reason Derek had moved to Sugar
Bay.

Anabelle’s heart ached for Dylan and her
girls.

“Your girls are adorable.”

“Thanks.” This time the smile reached her
eyes and lit up her face. The transformation was breathtaking.

“They’re with Dani this morning. Derek sort
of kidnapped me and forced me to take a break.”

“Yep, nothing like sunshine and good food
before you go back to your dungeon.”

“If you say so, little brother.”

“Who you calling little, hmmm?”

“Okay then…
baby
brother.”

He muttered a mock growl, grabbed her into
a headlock, and rubbed her head. She laughed and pushed him away. “Punk,” she
said without any heat but with a swat to the back of his head. “Anabelle, it
was good to meet you and if you don’t mind giving my pain-in-the-ass
younger
brother a ride home, I’ll take
off.”

“I don’t want to interrupt your time
together.”

“Are you kidding? She’s already sick of me.
For the last hour, the girl’s been chomping at the bit to leave but if I don’t
drag her out every once in a while, I’m afraid she’d never see the sun and get
some much needed Vitamin D. Besides I’d love a ride from you.”

Her face flamed at his words and the hot
look he sent her.

“Agh…children, please, I’m still here.”

Derek laughed. “Then go already. And text
when you get home.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Anabelle and I have things to discuss.”

She looked into his warm brown eyes and
thought about her mother’s struggle. She had to be brave. “Yes,” she said,
nodding.

He didn’t reply, instead he took her hand
and pulled her through the crowd. He rubbed her thumb as if he understood their
next discussion was vital and he wanted privacy. He rushed her through the
crowds, weaving and taking short cuts to the parking lots. Warmth spread
through her and she released a shuddering breath. She’d thought she’d never
feel his heat again and it had scared her.

She closed her eyes, wanting to imprint
this memory in her mind, the feel of his hands, his rough, calloused but
completely capable hands, hands that gave her such great pleasure and were now
pulling her through the crowds with an almost desperate sense of urgency,
because he needed to be with her. Anticipation made her shiver. He looked back,
as if to check she was with him still, not only physically,
but
mentally. His gaze searched hers, his eyes, hot and piercing, said without
words how much he wanted to touch her, to hold her but didn’t because stopping
would delay their intimacy. She grinned, happiness bubbled inside.

He must have sensed the joy she couldn’t
contain, he looked over his shoulder and grinned. “Wait. We need to wait.”

If anything, they increased their pace, until
at last, they reached her car.

“Keys?”

She dug through her bag and handed them
over.

He opened the passenger door and waited
until she was seated, the movement hiked up her skirt and exposed much of her
thighs.

“Have mercy,” he muttered before he slammed
the door.

Minutes later they were on their way.

White knuckled, he gripped the steering
wheel and drove with single-minded concentration. She studied his profile and
wondered at her lapse in thinking. She’d almost given up on them.
Idiot.
Anabelle stroked the stubble on
his face and his gaze snapped to hers.

His eyes were slightly wild and he bit out,
“Anabelle, I’m dying here. Wait, babe.”

She grinned and ignored him.

The center console was in the way, but she
got as close as she could and stroked where she could reach…his chest, arms,
shoulders and his hard thighs.

He groaned, “Babe, please.”

At a stoplight, he grabbed and held her
wandering hands, “Never been so grateful for a red light in my life,” he
muttered and pulled her towards him. Their mouths met and he punished her with
nips and sucks and licks until someone honked behind them.