His Love (7 page)

“I’m going to take her...” Rayne’s trail of thought was abandoned by a loud shriek. Alessandria jerked in fright and Rayne held her tighter making sure she didn’t slip out of her arms.

“What the he—” Antonio’s gaze flickered to Alessandria and when he realized she hadn’t picked up on the new word he went on. “Who was that?”

“It sounded like Jacqueline.” Rayne led them out of the office, down the hallway and into the foyer.

Jacqueline was there, hysterical and barking at both her parents. She opened the door and shouted something before she banged it shut, making the old oak shake in its hinges.

“Here we go again.” Antonio groaned and turned to leave, but Rayne stopped him.

“What do you mean?”

“You shouldn’t bother yourself with her.”

***

“Many people would have said the same thing about you.” Rayne wasn’t taking all the credit for his gradual change toward his daughter. Alessandria did all the work by bearing with him those past years and besides she was as cute as a button and that worked in her favor.

Rayne could see that he didn’t appreciate the comment, but she didn’t let his elevated brow and the twitch in his jaw to faze her.
I’m not Martin
, she thought.
But that strong jaw does make you look sexy, and those eyes, dear God those hands. The things you can do with them should be illegal.
Rayne’s fingers gently stroked her neck and under her collar as her flesh heated up. The pool between her thighs was warning enough. She turned around and tried not to look at Antonio, but his body was so close to hers. Every time they were in the same space, all she could think about was his body moving atop hers, with her and inside her.

“Her new flavor of the month must have been siphoning money from her. Father must have discovered it and cut her allowance. It’s nothing new.” He shrugged. “She’ll get a bit hysterical, lash out and blame everyone for her poor judgment then end up in a drunken stupor, then before we know it we will be at the beginning again.”

“You are her big brother, why don’t you talk to her?” Rayne swallowed hard. His hand pressed on the small of her back and she was sure she could feel her knees buckle.

“That would be hypocritical, wouldn’t it?” he began. “Besides, in the past I wasn’t in any position to take in anyone else’s emotions.”

“But now?” Rayne risked it and turned to look at him. He was staring at her with his big beautiful eyes, an eternal fire of desire burning in them.

“If you didn’t have my daughter in your arms I would show you.” Rayne’s body responded to his as he leaned down to her, his lips brushing along her ear as he issued his promise, or threat.

“Sweetheart, go to the kitchen and ask Melody to get you a chocolate cake, some ice cream and three forks. Then make a picnic on the kitchen floor,” Rayne said. The little girl leapt out of her arms in excitement.

“Melody!” she shrieked and ran toward the kitchen.

A thoughtful look consumed Antonio’s face as he watched his daughter.

“What is it?”

“Did you buy her new clothes?”

“Yep, she’s four. She shouldn’t be under pressure to keep her Gucci clean,” Rayne teased.

“Thank you.” He smiled. “I am also grateful you didn’t decide to dress her in those insane long sleeved t-shirts you love so much. I don’t know how you bear the summer heat.”

“I’m just glad the house is air conditioned.” She tugged the sleeves of her t-shirt, holding them between her fingers and her palms. She was terrified they would roll up on their own accord and reveal her secret. However she was glad she had been able to hold onto her demons this long.

Another ear shuttering shrill from Jacqueline reminded her of the situation at hand.

“I’m about to do something that could turn out two results, I could get knocked out, or fired, or both.” She nervously twisted her fingers into each other.

“What are you going to do?” The concern in Antonio’s voice was obvious.

Rayne marched toward Jacqueline who was now trying to get out the door as her mother blocked her path. Jacqueline looked like a wild cat intent on clawing her way to freedom. She was hysterical. Without putting too much thought into it, Rayne reached for her, and spun her around. Just as Jacqueline turned she descended her open palm on her cheek. The sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed in the corners of the large house. Everyone was stunned and staring at them, but Rayne kept her eyes focused on one person.

Jacqueline was gaping at her, with a surprised look of shock on her face. She was silent and didn’t make an attempt to retaliate. Rayne put both her arms on her shoulders. “Breathe.” And just like that Jacqueline followed her command.

Rayne physically turned her and they walked toward the kitchen. Rayne could hear the shuffle of footsteps follow them. She didn’t dare turn around and chase them. She had Jacqueline’s attention and she didn’t know for how long. If the girl was anything like her, Rayne knew it wouldn’t be for much longer.

They walked into the kitchen to where Alessandria had made the picnic. Rayne urged Jacqueline down to the kitchen floor and she sat across from her. Rayne lifted her head long enough to see Morrison chase the other staff members out of the kitchen and seal the family in. Antonio was staring at her, a look of curiosity on his face. Rayne smirked, if she had known it would be so easy to get a Burke’s attention by using violence she would have slapped Antonio sooner.

“The world is not over, you know.” Rayne handed Jacqueline a fork and they both followed Alessandria’s lead. “You are young and this is your wiggle room to make as many mistakes as you want to, but you have got to use your head.”

“I thought he loved me.” Jacqueline finally spoke, but her voice was no louder than a whisper.

“My mother once told me, as much as you think everyone out there loves you; your family loves you even more.”

“I wanted to be with him, I really did. I would have left everything behind if he didn’t hurt me. I want to hurt him back,” she whimpered.

Rayne realized that whoever Jacqueline was shouting at must have been the guy who broke her heart. “I don’t think he’s gotten that far. You could ask your father to tell the guards to stop him, and maybe your big brother could tune him up for you.”

She expected her comment to be met by a laugh or even a giggle, she wasn’t asking for much, but the look that Jacqueline shot Antonio and his slight nod told her that they took it seriously. “I’m joking, guys.”

Rayne looked at the little girl, who seemed to be paying more attention to her cake than whatever was unfolding before her, but she was smart; she would pick it all up now and ask her later. “Sweetheart, do you think that maybe you could get your Aunty Jacqueline some flowers to make her smile.” The little girl nodded. “Give her a hug first.”

“Fill her full of sunshine?” Alessandria asked before standing up and wrapping her arms around Jacqueline’s neck. “Rayne is going to make it better, you’ll see.”

Once Alessandria left the room, Morrison gave Rayne a nod that was enough to let her know that she would be looked after.

“I wanted to show you something that would be too much for a little girl to understand.” Rayne pushed her sleeves up as far as she could and heard Jacqueline gasp. It was the normal response to all the track marks she had in her arms. She wasn’t sure what Antonio would think, but she expected his parents to have her out on her ass the second she was done with the presentation. “This is how much I loved my boyfriend. I gave up my scholarship to Harvard Business School and followed him and his band on the road. I thought I was his girlfriend, I thought he loved me, because I loved him. But once we had burned through all the money my father had left me when he died and some of my brother’s too, he brought me back home and left me.”

“What did your brother do?” Jacqueline looked up at Antonio then turned her gaze back to Rayne.

“There isn’t much anyone can do from six feet under.” Rayne could feel her heart tighten in knots. “Reno died in a car crash. He was with my dad. Soon there was just my mom and me. Danny came along and I thought that he was the best thing that happened to me. I got my high school diploma and followed the love of my life on the road. I knew I was hurting my mother leaving her alone so soon after the accident, but I wanted to find out who I was. Which is total bullshit.” Antonio and Jacqueline giggled, Rayne swore that she even heard a chuckle from Kane. “Sorry, Mrs. Burke.”

“I have a hysterical daughter and a smart mouthed son; there is nothing I haven’t heard,” Sofia said.

“Anyway, two years later I was back home a junkie and eight months pregnant.” Rayne tried to blink the tears back, but they betrayed her. “My mother pulled me down to the kitchen floor just like this, she put chocolate cake and ice cream on one side, which was a relief at the time because I was starving. But on the other she put one of my father’s bottle of whiskey and some oxy she found in my bag. Then she told me to pick.”

“You picked the cake?” Jacqueline asked a hint of hope in her tone.

“Nope, I reached out for the booze and drugs. And when I did, I saw the look of disappointment on her face, but I felt like I was about to jump out of my skin. I opened the bottle and got a couple of pills, but I didn’t take them right away. I watched her watch me, then she said ‘I would rather watch my little girl die now than keep wondering where she is for the rest of my life.’”

“That’s just—” Jacqueline gasped unable to finish her thought, but Rayne understood. And
heavy
was the appropriate word to use.

“I dumped the booze and drugs and turned to the chocolate cake. That was when I learned my lesson, you can have everything, be anything, but once that is stripped down, all you have is your family.”

“I thought you were going to say listen to your mother.” Jacqueline smiled.

“Yep, that’s important too, but at this point if you don’t know who you are or what you want, you have bigger problems than you thought you did.” Rayne took a bite of her chocolate cake. “Right now just stuff your face with cake and cry all you want. Then maybe your mommy can hold you and if that’s not enough get another one of Alessandria’s hugs they can do miracles on a broken heart.”

The room fell silent for a second. Rayne pulled her sleeves down and was just about to walk out of the room when Jacqueline asked, “Where is your mother now?”

“She died two weeks before I came here.”

“And the baby?” this time it was Antonio who asked.

“She was still-born.” She forced a smile. “I know a thing or two about loss.”

Chapter Seven

Antonio reached out for Rayne, but Alessandria saved her from collapsing into Antonio’s arms and crying her eyes out. After giving Jacqueline the flowers, Alessandria climbed into Rayne’s arms.

“My tummy feels funny,” she whined.

“That’s my fault; I shouldn’t have let you eat all that cake. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Rayne held the little girl in her arms and jogged away from the stares of sympathy. Rayne didn’t believe in sympathy, everything bad that had happened to her she warranted it. Now she had to live with it.

Rayne sat on Alessandria’s bed holding a cold towel on the sleeping little girl’s forehead trying to cool down her fever. She had done everything she could to avoid Antonio and after his third failed attempt at talking to her, she thought he had gotten the message, but then Alessandria’s door opened and in walked Antonio.

“How is she doing?”

“A little better,” Rayne said. Alessandria’s room was massive but Antonio’s presence made her feel like she was trapped in a matchbox.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“About Alessandria’s fever?” She knew what he was asking, but Rayne wasn’t sure she wanted to rehash the past, not for her sake, but his.

“Come with me,” he said and grabbed her arm.

“I’d rather stay here.” Rayne pulled her arm back.

The tick in Antonio’s jaw was back and a look of mild irritation appeared on his face. He didn’t say another word. Instead he pulled Rayne to her feet and hauled her over his shoulder. “Make too much noise and she will wake up. Then you will have to explain to her what we are doing.”

The fear of having to explain to Alessandria the sexual tension between Antonio and her put enough fear in her to go without making a sound. He closed the door and set her down on her feet once they were in his room.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Irritation was replaced by compassion.

“You don’t handle loss very well.” Rayne sank down on the sofa. She wasn’t feeling too good and thought she had caught whatever Alessandria had.

“And you do.” It wasn’t a question, but a realization. “Is that why you gave up on us so easily?”

“There wasn’t an ‘us’ to begin with,” she whispered.

“I love you and I know you love me.” Antonio sat next to her, a pitch of desperation in his voice.

“You love Maria and I know you would give anything to have her back.”

“Wouldn’t you?” But why would she want Maria back? “Wouldn’t you give anything to have your father, brother, mother, and daughter back?”

“My father and brother were killed by a drunk driver and my mother died of cancer, there wasn’t much I could do there. Besides I don’t blame myself for their deaths.” Rayne stood up and walked away from him. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating. She needed to get away especially since a high emotional climate always seemed to end up with them having sex.

“What about your daughter?”

“I know what part I played in that. I drowned her in so much booze and drugs that her little body couldn’t handle it, but I accepted that and I moved on.” Antonio’s arms wrapped around her. That was her undoing. She turned to face him, her hands resting on his chest. “No matter how much I loved my family I can’t get them back. You can’t get Maria back either.”

“I know,” he whispered. Her body trembled in his arms. “You made me see what no one was brave enough to force me to see. If you didn’t come into our lives, Alessandria would still be frightened of me and I would still be—”

“A jerk.” Rayne finished and encircled his neck with her arms. Her fingers played with the tiny hairs at the back of his head.