His Michaelmas Mistress (5 page)

“I think…” Beatrice paused. “You have to deal with your past to move on with your future. No matter how much you do not want to reconcile with Lord Charles, you must at least hear his side of the story. I tend to think he is telling us a Banbury story, but if anyone can find out the truth from him, it is you, and if he sticks to his story, then, I suppose he is being honest with all of us.”

“I don’t know if I can get that close to him without being tempted.”

“Oh, I think you can, Julia. You sell yourself short. I believe you are truly in love with your Freddie, and that kind of love can’t die an easy death. Trust me, I know.”

She looked away from her mother, and resumed watching the landscape go by. They would be back at Castleton Court shortly, and her life would go back to the way it had been before she had met Freddie.

It would go back to being humdrum.

Almost a fortnight had passed by in a blur.

Julia had cloistered herself away in her bedchamber, and she’d fought emerging, even when Rose and Iris paid her calls. She couldn’t face anyone. Her wedding day had turned into a spectacle that she prayed had been a nightmare, and yet, every morning she woke up, it remained unchanged.

It was the herald of things to come. She couldn’t shake her feelings of torment. She was broken hearted, and nothing anyone could do, or say, could shake her despondency.

Charles had sent her several missives, and she had left them unopened. She couldn’t face it. She couldn’t put herself through that kind of hell at the moment, as she still mourned Freddie’s absence in her life.

The missives laid on her escritoire and almost mocked her. What sort of lies would be found within? And if they were not lies…could she face the truth?

She sat on the edge of her bed, and stared at them. Her family had always called her their jewel. She had always been the shining light with her irrepressible gay demeanor, and she knew she worried them all by sulking and keeping to herself.

A lazy knock on her bedchamber door made her sigh. “What do you want, Richard?”

“I…uh…well, Mama and I would like to see you at breakfast.”

“Mama rarely takes breakfast anywhere, but in her bed,” she retorted.

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “Not this morning. This morning, she has decided to take breakfast with us, and she wants you there. Get along, Julia. Smart’s the word, sharp’s the action.”

“That’s sharp’s the word, and quick’s the action, Richard,” she said tiredly.

“Is that so?” he said. “Hmm…I didn’t know that.”

She listened closely, and heard him shuffling away. She really had to have her life in shambles, if her brother was concerned about her. He hardly ever took an interest in anything, and the fact that he seemed worried about her enough to come and address her on his own, told her she had to be acting quite poorly these last few days and yet—she cared not.

She looked down at herself. She wore her nightgown, and she wasn’t fit to be downstairs taking her first meal of the day with her family in such a sorry state. Her hair was an ungodly mess, and she looked bloody horrible. She didn’t feel like changing out of her nightgown, so keeping to the defiant attitude she’d maintained since her wedding day that wasn’t, she walked over to her wardrobe and reached for her lavender coloured housecoat. Her mother would be horrified by her appearance, but then, her mother never changed out of morning dresses when she was at home, so she could live with Julia’s lack of propriety for one day.

She stopped, and hesitated right before she was going to open her door. She didn’t want to leave. If she left her bedchamber the world would intervene, and she wasn’t ready to face that yet. Of course, she couldn’t stay cooped up here forever, much as she wanted to.

What had happened to her? Normally, she would have taken the world by storm, she would have jumped headfirst into any problem. She supposed that it had to be the effect that being so crushed had on her. Having her heart broken, and her dreams destroyed, had sucked all of the joy out of her.

“Damnation, Julia. The only way to deal with this is to do it head on. You have to get a hold of yourself, and show everyone that you cannot be defeated.”

And now, she was talking to herself. Maybe she had gone straight to Bedlam.

She had wallowed enough. Whatever came her way, she would handle it with aplomb, and she would show Freddie that she could move on…that she could survive without him. And even if she felt as if she were dying on the inside, she would meet everyone with a smile on her face. She would live as recklessly as she dared.

Racing her curricle always gave her a thrill, and she would throw a few balls…and attend all of the social soirees she was invited to. She would hold her Moonrakers Ladies Society weekly meetings again, and life would go back to normal…well, maybe not normal. She would kick up a lark—and show everyone in Castleton and Maidstone that she had mended her broken heart. As for Charles—she didn’t know how she would handle him, but she would do it with a blithe manner, because she was sick of being so Friday faced.

It was time to live again.

It was the only way.

*****

“You look like hell, Mouse,” Felix announced, as they sat eating their breakfast. “You know what you need? You need to do some trap shooting, or some hunting…or maybe, we should go over and bother good old Tobias again. The look of sheer terror on his face when we’re about is quite jolly, ain’t it, Lucky?”

Lucky nodded his head, and reached for another slice of bacon. “Oh, aye. He looked dicked in the nob the last time we were over there. Especially when I set off that teeny little explosion.”

“It was cracking good fun,” Tiny said. “We helped him remove the stump of that gnarled old tree, and had a blooming good time while doing it.”

Freddie stared ahead. He heard them, but he wasn’t really taking their words to heart. His days and his nights had been utter hell. He hadn’t felt so lonely in his entire life. He wanted Julia dreadfully, and now, he didn’t know how to go about winning her back. He’d made a cock up of everything. He had even sent missives to Colonel Elliot asking for his advice, and had received his reply only that morning.

Gideon had told him to win Julia back, no matter what he had to do. He told him to grovel if necessary, that no price was too high to pay for a good woman’s love. It had sounded more like an order than just advice, and Freddie didn’t think there was a way for him not to obey.

“You should read the rest of your mail, Mouse. It looks as if we all have letters from Lark Hall. Hmm…this should be interesting,” Lucky mused, as he broke the wax seal on his missive.

“It’s another Ball,” Felix said, reading his invitation while Lucky did the same. “I didn’t think they held such things at Lark Hall, but I suppose they’ve decided to do it this year.”

“They always hold the Michaelmas Ball,” Freddie said absently. “At least that’s what Lady Julia told me.” He felt heartburn coming on, and he looked down at the toast he had liberally spread with marmalade from Lewis’s estate in Somersetshire, Monksilver Abbey. “They hold a house party for those who come from faraway to attend. Apparently, many in the ton look forward to this ball, as Mr. and Mrs. Lovett really know how to throw a party. They spare no expense.”

“Shall we go?” Lucky asked hopefully.

“I think we should,” Felix agreed. “It would be rude not to, wouldn’t it? Besides, Doc and Mole will be going, and well, they’d come and give us hell, if we didn’t go. Come on, Freddie, time to come out of the hole you dug yourself, and crawled into.”

“My lord,” the butler, Mr. Hargreaves came into the Breakfast Room and stared in turn at each of them. “The Gamekeeper, Mr. Browne, would like to see you.”

“Send him in then, man,” Freddie said. For some reason, he didn’t really care for Mr. Hargreaves, and he couldn’t put his finger on what about the man unsettled him so. He should sack him, and hire someone else and yet, he didn’t have the heart for it.

“I… Yes, sir,” he said, turning about, and leaving.

A few moments later, the gamekeeper entered, hat in hand and looking bloody nervous.

“My lord…the thing is…we have some awfully bold poachers.”

“Isn’t it your job to catch those bloody blighters?” Freddie asked.

Knowing how hard it was to go with scant in one’s belly, Freddie felt a smidgeon of compassion for the poor bastard doing it.

“You don’t employ the use of mantraps, do you, Mr. Browne?”

“Oh, no, sir. Lord Lumley couldn’t abide the infernal things.”

“Good. Because I don’t want them used either.”

“They should be illegal, they should,” Mr. Browne said. “Either way, sir, it is, as you say, my job to catch the blighters, and yet, they’re awfully sneaky. I haven’t been able to catch them yet.”

“Is it really that important that you do? I do not begrudge a man the ability to feed his own family. I don’t think a few stolen hares or other small game would damage the Estate that much.” Freddie probably wasn’t looking at it the right way. He had far too much reason to sympathize with the poor devil doing it rather than condemning him for such a small transgression.

“Oh, aye, sir, but he’s stealing, ain’t he? I mean,” Browne said nervously, scrunching his hat between his hands. “The blighters might not be poaching out of need, they might be poaching to sell the game on the black market, and as lord of this estate, all of the game on it, is yours.”

“Aye, I know, Mr. Browne.”

“And they could have contacts in London. You know they do a nasty business there in the Pubs where they use those in rural areas to poach for them, and then, they make a large profit that way by selling their loot. They travel in gangs, or so I have heard. I think this is a situation of greed, not need, sir.”

“If there are a gang of the bloody bastards stalking this estate, they will be sorry for it,” Freddie said. “If you catch sight of the devils, I don’t want you engaging them alone. I want you to report back to me. Is that clear, Mr. Browne?”

“Oh, aye, sir. They be cutthroats in those kinds of gangs. I ain’t going to risk my hide over it, not without some others to help me. I mean, look at me…I’m not that formidable looking, am I?”

Freddie resisted the urge to laugh.

Mr. Browne was right. He looked like he would blow away next to him and Felix, he even looked frail when compared to Lucky. Browne was tall and lanky, and didn’t have much muscle on him. Freddie didn’t even know how he’d secured the position of gamekeeper. He probably got it because he would take the pitiable wages that Lord Lumley provided to his staff.

“Shall we go hunting for poachers, then?” Tiny asked.

“Oh, that sounds like jolly good fun,” Lucky said. “It will be a welcome diversion, won’t it, Mouse?”

Freddie shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose so. Anyway, the rascal or rascals, need to be dealt with. And,” he looked at them. “If they are doing it out of greed, and think they can get away with it because they are under the misapprehension that I am not a proper lord, they shall have a rude awakening.”

“I…I will take my leave, then,” Mr. Browne said, hastily backing out of the room.

Freddie watched him go with a bit of amusement in his heart. He didn’t know who the man was more afraid of, him, or the poachers.

“Oh, aye. They will have to change their drawers,” Tiny chuckled.

“They shan’t know what hit them,” Lucky laughed. “After we catch them, they shall beg us to take them to the local magistrates.”

“Julia’s Uncle Edward is one of the local magistrates,” Freddie sighed heavily. “He’s definitely one of the big wigs in the area. And those that look at him roaming his grounds in his banyan would probably never guess it. Still, if I catch them, you’re right, Lucky, they will be begging us to take them to go before the local magistrates,” he chuckled.

“Those buggers will be screaming bloody murder,” Tiny said. “They’ll take one look at Freddie, and faint dead away.”

“No,” Freddie countered. “They’ll take one look at your face and faint dead away, mate.” He smirked. “It seems to do that to people. They take one look and keel over.”

Tiny grinned. “He is finally coming round, Lucky. We only have to work on him a little bit more, and he’ll be back to the bloody bastard we all know and love so much.”

“Don’t forget I’m a bloody bastard…” he paused, “but Felix, you’re an arsehole.”

“That I am,” Tiny laughed in his loud way. “I make no bones about it.”

“I only have one question, Freddie,” Lucky said slowly.

“Aye?” Freddie said.

“Aren’t we supposed to be acting like proper lords? Would proper lords go gadding about their estates hunting for poaching gangs?”

“It’s my estate. That means, I can do whatever the ruddy hell I want, doesn’t it? I am lord of this domain. We’re not in the Army anymore, lads.”

“If we were in the Army, you’d be our superior, Lucky,” Tiny pointed out.

Lucky grinned. “That used to be such fun.”

“Oh, aye, you could be such a sodding upstart,” Freddie said.

They all laughed, finished off their breakfast, and prepared to go blackguard hunting.

Freddie finally had something to distract him from how badly his heart ached for Julia. He couldn’t live like this much longer. He would have to battle for her heart, and if he was pressed too hard, he would steal her away and make her marry him, because he didn’t know if she’d allow him to woo her this time around.

The courting might not happen, but the claiming would.