His to Taste (13 page)

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t hurt to let you manage your boss as you see fit, dear.” Grandma shrugged delicately, and took another nibble of cake. “I have to admit that it’s been such a relief knowing that you’re safe at that job. I’ve been so worried about you since you graduated, and it’s so nice to know that you’re being a good girl. I don’t have to stay up at night when you go out with your fast girlfriends.”

It took all of my strength to refrain from rolling my eyes, and I could see Mrs. Rowland giving me the tiniest warning shake of her head, but I couldn’t hold back my sigh.

“Grandma,” I said. “My girlfriends are not fast—they’re
normal
. Normal young women go on plenty of dates if they want to find a partner. Normal young women also live with their partners before they’re married so they can test their compatibility. I’m abnormal. The fact that I’ve never been on a real date before means that I’m so far behind the curve, I might as well just start hoarding cats now to prepare for a long solitary lifetime of celibacy.”

Crossing her frail arms over her ample chest, Grandma glowered at me, and said, “In my day, girls didn’t have to date every single eligible man in the city to find herself a husband. Young women today jump into bed with any man with a pulse, and it’s sinful.”

Mrs. Rowland laughed nervously and said, “Alright, you two…let’s not get into this tired old debate again. Look at the time!” She glanced over at Grandma, and started clearing up our plates. “We’ll have to leave now if we want to get good seats for the book signing for that horticulturalist. Would you like to join us, sweetie?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Rowland,” I said. “But I already have plans. You both go on and have fun. I’ll take care of the dishes.” I herded them out the door, and waved them off, hiding my relief.

As much as I loved Grandma, I knew our arguments were getting stressful for the both of us. Now that I had been spending more and more time away, it was a lot easier for me to finally speak my mind a bit more. I guess I felt a weird cowardly sort of confidence since I knew that I could just run back to Mr. Cochran’s place when our discussions became too heated for me to stand.

It was always the same disapproval with her and I really shouldn’t have expected anything different from her usual refrain. The only difference this time was that I had come fresh from my earth-shattering experience in Mr. Cochran’s bed. Her comments made me feel cheap and I didn’t want to reconcile the old familiar feelings of shame with the exhilarating joy that I had felt last night when I had finally allowed myself the freedom to explore my sexual yearnings.

Quickly finishing up the dishes, I hurried into my room to change out of my boring work clothes. I tried on a few outfits and was surprised by the new fit on my clothes. My knee-length dark wash jean skirt felt a little looser on my thighs and gently hugged the curves of my butt. I pulled on a rich purple v-neck blouse to accentuate, but not flaunt, my deep cleavage. My favorite black corduroy jacket and a pair of cute black wedges completed my outfit. I dabbed on some mascara, blush, and lipstick, and pulled my thick hair out of its constricting bun so that the dark waves fell around my face and shoulders. Giving myself a final once-over in the mirror, I noticed a sparkle in my eyes and a soft flush on my cheeks that had nothing to do with cosmetics. No wonder Grandma was so suspicious when she saw me today.

I sent Julia a quick text to let her know that I was on the way and headed out the door. When I pulled up into the parking lot for Dos Compadres, I noticed her smart little BMW, and knew she was already inside. I grinned when I saw her sitting at our usual table by the bar, and swooped down for a quick, fierce hug.

“Perfect timing!” she said. “Our first pitcher should be here any second and I’ve already ordered some nachos.” As usual, Julia’s frosty blond curls were pulled back in a sophisticated chignon, and her lithe figure looked lovely in her tailored dark navy business suit and jacket.

“Thanks,” I said. “I’m starving!” I tossed my purse onto the table, settling down across from her. “How’s work? Is that sour witch still driving you crazy?” I gave her a sympathetic smile when she groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Ugh,” she said. “She just got dumped by her boyfriend so she’s been on a total emotional rampage. I can hardly talk to her without her jumping down my throat for some imaginary infraction. I’m ready to scream, but I can’t really say or do anything without making things worse.” The waitress arrived with our nachos and sangria, and we thanked her in unison before diving into the giant platter of crispy, gooey, cheesy goodness.

“What about you,” she grinned, after gulping down a healthy swig of sangria. “How are things in your old guy’s kitchen? Did you have a hectic day of cooking up Jell-O and cream of chicken soup?”

I snorted, and almost spit out my own mouthful of sangria. It burned when I hastily swallowed, and laughed, “Whatever, smart ass!” Clearing my throat, I said hesitantly, “So about my boss…um, I haven’t actually been totally honest about the whole thing.”

“Ooh, intriguing,” she teased. “What—is he, like, a weird reclusive hoarder, or something?”

I traced my finger nervously around the rim of my glass, and said, “That would make things easier, actually. The truth is that although he’s older, he’s not
old
.” I paused to take a tiny fortifying sip. “In fact, he’s only in his early thirties, and he’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met. He’s ridiculously hot…like, drop-dead-oh-my-freaking-god hot.”

“Are you serious?!”

“Yeah,” I smiled sheepishly. “I’m a total mess around him. It’s been so hard trying to maintain some semblance of professionalism when I’m with him basically 24/7.”

“Oh, Lynn,” said Julia. “I can’t imagine what your grandma must think!” She grimaced, and continued, “On second thought, I know exactly what she thinks. You poor thing…did she start on you again with her gloom and doom?”

“Well,” I began. “The thing is, I’ve let her think that he’s elderly. I feel so guilty lying to her, but you know how important this job is for us. I mean, just this trial period alone will cover our finances until I can find another job if this doesn’t work out, you know? It would be stupid to walk away from this just because she doesn’t approve. Still, I had to rush home today because she threatened to come by his place.”

“Oh, shit!” Julia clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her horrified giggles. “You must have been hauling ass to get there in time! Seriously, though, you have to remember that you’re a grown woman who happens to live with your grandmother. It’s not like you still have to live under her thumb.”

Grinning mischievously, I said, “Yeah, about that…I know it’s not the greatest idea because of work boundaries, but I…we…” I broke off, suddenly at a loss for words to describe something so indescribably wonderful.

Julia gasped, almost knocking over her glass as she reached for my hands. “Are you kidding? That’s awesome! Give me the dirty details!”

Blushing, I lowered my voice, and said, “The more I got to know him, the more comfortable I was to just spend time with him. He treats me well and we talk about his work, and I don’t feel like an awkward dork around him.”

I beamed at her, and said, “For the first time in my life, he makes me feel beautiful. I told myself that it was stupid to waste an opportunity to do all the things I should have done as a horny teenager with the first man who drove me wild enough to ignore all of the stuff Grandma kept drilling into my head. He made me forget everything. And it was all so amazing!”

“Wow,” she said. “I’m so excited for you!” A look of concern flashed over her lovely face. “Just to be clear, though, did he coerce you, or anything, because of your job?”

With a firm shake of my head, I said, “Absolutely not! He’s been a gentleman, I swear. We actually haven’t…I mean, I’m still technically a virgin. He’s letting me take the lead, and he’s reiterated that nothing we do intimately would ever interfere with my employment.”

My lips twisted into a wry smile. “I get what you mean, though. I told him today that I wasn’t ready to do anything else that would jeopardize my position, and we agreed to start things fresh—as if nothing had ever happened between us.” I toyed with my fork, sighing heavily.

Julia was silent for a moment, and finally said, “In all honesty, if I could go back in time to junior year and not lose my virginity to Steve, that pimply-faced douchebag, I totally would. As long as you both know what your intentions are, what’s the harm in messing around with someone that you’re physically attracted to and actually like? I mean, it’s not like you’re going to get swept away and fantasize about wedding bells, right? Why not sow your wild oats a little so you can be prepared when you eventually meet someone for a serious relationship? Other than your grandma, no one can fault you that bit of fun.”

After letting her words sink in, I said, “How do you always know what to say? I think I just needed to hear that validation from you because that was exactly my reasoning, too!” I paused, and then sighed, “I guess the only thing that’s holding me back is that I still hear Grandma’s nagging in my head afterward. I wish there was a switch in my brain to turn off all that deep-rooted shame.” I picked at a lone soggy chip on my plate, and smirked, “Speaking of deep-rooted…can I just say that I now totally understand what you and those erotica stories mean when you rhapsodize about well-blessed men? I felt like I was grabbing onto a rolling pin!”

We both cracked up, and Julia said, “Sweetie, you make sure that he preheats your oven before he puts that thing anywhere near you then!”

Beep.

“Sorry, I should check in case that’s Grandma.” I dug into my purse to grab my phone and saw that it was a text from Mr. Cochran.

I saw your proposal. I’m surprised, and I’m definitely on board with your suggestions, but are you sure that you want to move forward with this?

I quickly sent my response.

I’m fine with it if you are, sir. Do you have any concerns? I can come back tonight to address them if you’d like.

His reply came back almost instantaneously.

You know I’m always happy to see you.

A tiny flutter of excitement flared in my stomach and I glanced up to see Julia’s amused expression. “Is that your stud?” she teased. “Are you two sexting already?”

“Oh, my god!” I squealed. “Shut up! It’s about work, I swear!” Giggling, I tossed my napkin at her and filled our glasses with the last of the pitcher. It felt so refreshing to finally be able to gossip and bond with her over my naughty exploits.

“I’m technically off, but I guess I should go back and talk with him in person.” I settled my portion of the check and leaned back. “Thanks again for understanding. I was so damn tired of reading about these things, instead of actually doing something about it. Still, I suppose the best thing to do is to take everything day by day.”

“You’ll be fine, smiled Julia. “Go ahead and check in with your sexy boss. I’m going to wait for a few of the other girls to come join me later.”

“Alright,” I grinned, grabbing another hug. “Tell them hi for me, okay? Have fun!” I swept out of the restaurant, and began driving back towards Santa Barbara. Who knew that I’d be so eager to return to work on my off day? It wasn’t like I couldn’t resume the rest of my time off; it would just be a quick consultation and I could go back to…well, most likely fantasizing about the damn man anyway.

As I sat in traffic, I mulled over Julia’s advice again. I knew there was nothing inherently wrong about being sexually inexperienced. There were plenty of well-adjusted people in the world who chose celibacy. I was tired of choosing to allow fear and shame to dictate my sexuality, or lack thereof.

Like Julia said, what’s the worst that could really happen if I made the decision to experiment with him? My temp job and my paycheck weren’t in danger. We were both attracted to each other. My birth control was up to date and we both had clean sexual bills of health. Most importantly, however, he was sex on a stick and I was starving for a taste.

I could only think of two drawbacks. First, Grandma would probably never forgive me if she ever found out about this arrangement. Still, the only way she’d ever find out was if I said anything and there was no way in hell that I’d ever blurt out anything like this. The other issue was the possibility of my emotions interfering; what if I developed feelings for him that eventually spiraled out of control, leaving me to clutch at the shattered fragments of my poor heart, like a C-list actress in a melodramatic Lifetime movie? The solution to that dilemma lay with the man himself. Whenever I needed a reality check, I could just pinch myself and remind my stupid heart of the fact that Jake freaking Cochran would never get serious with peasants like me. This was about sex…pure and simple.

This was going to be the best lesson plan ever.

CHAPTER SIX

I could feel myself gripping the steering wheel a little tighter as I pulled up to his house. Although this lovely home had become so familiar to me, I felt a new kind of nervous, but excited, energy fluttering in my tummy. I was ready to carpe diem; no, I was going to carpe the hell out of that man’s diem if the opportunity arose.

There really was no concrete plan, other than to march in there and discuss the menu plan while flirting outrageously. If he didn’t get the hint, then my objective was to make it damn well clear that I was more than ready. To prevent another scene, I left Grandma a voicemail explaining that I had to take care of some urgent matters at work and I would check in with her tomorrow. After silencing my phone, I smoothed a few errant curls and dabbed on some soft peach lip gloss. Sucking in a deep, calming breath, I headed to the door.