Authors: Cassandra Michaels
“Tell me you want me.” Edward said as his eyes met Sophia’s.
“I want you.” Sophia said and she could hear the brutal honesty in her words.
Edward’s hands sank below her dress and traced a line up her leg. She could feel him gently pushing them apart as he stroked further and further up. Sophia closed her eyes as his fingers traced over the line of her peach. She could feel her body willing his fingers to dip in further and her mind yelling at her to stop him at once.
She ignored her brain and edged herself closer to Edward’s hand, so that he had no option but to dip his fingers into her. She could hear his breathing change as his fingers become moist to the touch.
“Should I lay back and think of England?” Sophia said as she watched Edward unfasten his pants in haste.
“You should do no such thing.” Edward said with a laugh as he walked over to his with his hardness freed from the pants that had been holding it prisoner.
Sophia took a sharp intake of breath as nerves took over her body, but then Edward’s hands were cupping the small of her back and he was sliding himself inside of her. He was giving her something that no other person had ever given her before and she knew in that moment that she was finally living.
Edward found a gentle pace. Sophia was sure that he was being gentle so that he didn’t hurt her. She could feel something building up inside. It was pushing against her skin as it tried to explode from her body. Her breathing got quicker as her fingers started to dig into his back and then an explosion. It was like the moon and the stars were born in that very moment. It was like she had been born again. It was like every happy moment you could ever hope to have in a lifetime and then it faded and she found herself shivering in the snow.
She stood silently for a minute as her brain tried to process what had just happened. She looked at Edward whose face was full of thought and then she watched him as he spoke.
“Sophia I want you to leave with me tomorrow. I don’t want you to be just another girl. I want to always have you by my side. You can put a smile on my lips where others might only put sadness and I need you.” Edward said with pleading eyes that could carry nothing but honesty.
******
Sophia looked at the clock that stood by her door. It was early morning and the sun was yet to make an appearance above the horizon. She looked at her pillows and considered trying to sleep some more, but she knew that it would be pointless. Her mind was racing with the words that Edward had left her with the night before and what she was going to do about them.
She knew her mother would never allow her to leave with Edward unless they were married. She knew that a morning wasn’t enough to throw a wedding either, not that Edward had actually asked her to marry him. He’d asked her to run away with him and for some reason; Sophia found that more exciting than the idea of a white dress and wedding ring.
She pushed the covers off of her body and let the icy chill, take a stab at her skin, as she stood up and pulled on her dressing gown. The fire in her room hadn’t quite gone out from the night before and it didn’t take her long to stoke the fire back into good health.
As the room heated up, she called down to the maids to prepare her some breakfast to have in her room. She knew that her mother wouldn’t awake for another few hours and her stomach was already growling with hunger.
It didn’t take the maids long to bring up a fine breakfast of left over meats from the night before and Sophia ate until she was full. She could feel her mind buzzing with thoughts as she sat quietly eating. She could feel the offer that Edward had presented her with as it ticked closer to the time when she would have to make up her mind.
After breakfast, she headed downstairs and found her mother sitting in the parlor room.
“Mother I need to talk with you.” Sophia said quietly as she entered the room.
“What is it?” Her mother asked with concern when she noticed the distracted look on her daughter’s face.
“I have to ask you something. I know it’s something that you won’t agree with, but I need you to give me your blessing anyway.” Sophia said.
“What is it?” Her mother said again, but this time more sharply.
“Edward asked me to leave with him today.” Sophia started, but then her mother interrupted.
“No.” Her mother said quickly.
“But mother.” Sophia pleaded with her words and her eyes.
“No.” Her mother said again and then she shook her head. “No daughter of mine will live with a man outside of wedlock nor will any daughter of mine marry a man who has sullied other women.”
Sophia took in the look of disgust on her mother’s face.
“Mother, I understand your concern, but I am in love with him. He makes me feel alive in a way I’ve felt before and I thought you wanted that for me.” Sophia tried to reason.
“I never wanted my daughter to live a life of sin.” Her mother said with a look of outrage on her face. “I have said no and that is final. I don’t want to hear about this again. What would your father say?”
“My father would have told me to be happy because that’s all he cared about.” Sophia said boldly. “He wouldn’t have cared about Edward’s past, all he would have cared about was whether he made me happy and he does.” She added.
“Hardly.” Her mother said with a snort.
Sophia shook her head and walked out of the room. Her mother would never understand. Her mother had never properly understood her in the way that her father had. Sophia felt a pain in her chest as she realized how desperately she missed her father.
She thought about the library and hiding away. She thought about closing herself off from the world and losing herself in her father’s countless books and stories. She thought about never marrying to spite her mother and what her life would be life without Edward in it and then she realized that not having Edward in her life wasn’t an option.
She didn’t bother going to her room and packing. She knew that her mother might catch her if she did that. She just walked straight out of the house in her cotton dress. The cold was extreme and she could feel her heart slowing down, as she walked quickly down the street and into town.
She didn’t care, though. She didn’t care about the cold. She didn’t care about the pain it brought. She didn’t care about the fact that she had just walked out on her family because she was finally free. She got to inn that the dukes were staying at and knocked on the door loudly.
“Miss Roberts how can I help you?” The inn keeper asked as soon, as he had opened the door.
“Is Duke Walters in?” Sophia asked through chattering teeth.
“He is. Won’t you come in dear?” He asked as he stepped aside to allow her entry.
“Thank you.” Sophia said as the warm air hit her bare legs and arms.
“You are certainly not dressed for the weather.” The innkeeper said with a concerned face.
“I hadn’t planned my trip.” Sophia said with a smile.
The inn keeper disappeared up the stairs and then returned a moment later with Edward behind him.
“Sophia you came.” Edward said with a grin that couldn’t be held back.
“I guess I don’t know what’s good for me.” Sophia teased as she smiled at Edward.
“Sophia I know that I haven’t proposed to you and I know that might worry you.” Edward said with a soft frown on his forehead. “But I can promise you that I will give you a life that was worth living.” He said.
“That’s all I need.” Sophia said as her heart raced in anticipation of their life together.
*****
THE END
Sign up
Here
to receive links to the hottest new romance ebooks on Kindle delivered directly to your inbox every week! (Click the link or enter http://mitspages.com/mits/PonderosaPublishing/historical-western-book-clu
b
into your browser.)
Here is a FREE bonus 8000 word sweet romance story “The Barren Bride” by Cassandra Michaels.
“Ellie, you make the best biscuits and gravy any man could ask for.” William Barnes put his fork down and rustled the paper.
Ellie smiled and stood up to clear the table. She knew that her husband loved her buttermilk biscuits, and she wanted this morning to be extra special.
“You best hurry along now, you don’t want to be late getting to the bank,” she said.
“Old Gregory had better be in a good mood today. I may not be a businessman, but I could be a darn good banker. I just don’t like these new-fangled
job interviews
he is insisting on doing. I am the man for the job, so hire me!”
Ellie jumped as William brought his fist down on the table, but turned and smiled.
“You are going to do fine, my love, and as soon as he hires you, things are going to get better.”
“And that they are, Darlin, and that they are.” William kissed his wife on the cheek and picked up his hat. Ellie walked behind him to the door and gave him a hug before he left.
She watched him stroll down the street in the direction of the bank. He had to walk through a swarm of children that eagerly pushed passed him on their way to school.
When Ellie saw that, she closed the door and turned back to the kitchen, her hand involuntarily resting on her slim stomach. She sighed and tried not to think about how badly William wanted children.
Oh she had tried. She did everything that she knew how to give him the kids that he wanted, she had even gone to the doctor and asked for advice on what she should be doing and eating, but nothing seemed to work.
Month after month it was the same, and month after month they remained childless. William had told her that as soon as they had more money, they were going to be in a better place to start a family anyway, but Ellie wasn’t so sure that she would ever be able to give him the children that he wanted.
“It’s just stress, love. You see the bills piling up, and old Hank asking you for money each time you go into his store… you’ll see, once I have a job again and we are all caught up on what we owe, you aren’t going to have a care in the world, and then the children will come along.”
William always seemed so optimistic about the situation, but Ellie knew he was thinking the same thing she was… she was barren. It didn’t matter how many or how few bills they had. She was never going to be able to have kids.
I don’t want them anyway. They are messy and loud and I wouldn’t be a good mom.
Ellie knew she was lying to herself when she thought that way, but she didn’t feel like she had much choice. It was either act happy that she didn’t have any, or be sad, and they were dealing with enough problems as it was.
William Barnes had huge dreams when he had moved them up to New York City from their sleepy little town in Vermont.
“We will have a life up there, Ellie. I will open up my shop and we will sell these clocks, and we will have our own little house all to ourselves. You will have a kitchen! Would you like that? And I will make the clocks in the store that will be attached, right to the front of the house!” William was always so optimistic about everything, and Ellie really didn’t feel anything tying her to Vermont anymore.
She had grown up in Vermont, her mother had died at a young age, leaving her with two brothers and her father. William had been a boy on a neighboring farm, but he was no farmer. He wanted to own his own business and make things with his hands.
As teenagers Ellie would listen to William talk about how he would build a shop with his own hands, and sell the things that he made in that shop. She didn’t know how it happened, but she fell in love.
But then their dream came to a halt when the war broke out. William, her brothers, and her father all went to fight, but William was the only one to return. Ellie always thought that it was ironic they called it the Civil war…. She saw nothing “civil” about it.
William managed to come home from the war, but it had left its mark on him. He had been shot in the chest, and the bullet had gotten dangerously close to his heart. He still carried the bullet, as the doctor said it would be too risky to try to remove it.
William got around ok, but Ellie feared that he would suffer from it. There was a lot of damage done to the tissue around his heart, and it was remarkable that he had survived.
Ellie didn’t care about the risks. The man that she loved returned home from the war, and they wed. Ellie had no objections to leaving Vermont with William. There was nothing there left for her.
They sold her farm, and used the money that they got for it to make it to New York and invest in a small house with a shop attached to the front. William’s business took off.
He was busy making clocks as the days went by, and he sold them almost as fast as he made them. They were on top of the world, the two of them, that is… until the fire.
One night, in the dark of autumn, some boys were playing with some kerosene and lamps. The fire got away from them and rushed up the side of their shop. They did what they could, but it was too late.
The fire had eaten up the shop and nearly all the clocks, leaving a great hole in the front of the house. William said that he was grateful the two of them made it out ok, but they had to move.
They ended up in a smaller house to the north of the one that they had been living in, and William searched for a new job. That had been a couple of months ago, so Ellie prayed that he would get the banking position he was interviewing for today.
*****
Ellie went about her day as usual, trying not to think about what was happening with her husband. One of two things was going to happen: either he would get the job and spend the day working his new position, or he wouldn’t get the job and he would spend his day about the town looking for new work elsewhere.
Either way Ellie wasn’t going to hear the outcome of the morning until suppertime, so she tried to get her normal daily duties done in the same manner as she always would.
Even if he doesn’t get the job, he is going to want to come home to a delicious dinner, just as though he did get it.
She thought to herself as she pulled out a couple of potatoes from her small pantry.
She missed the pantry she had in their other house. It was a lot bigger, and it was hers. Even though they were renting this small house from the hotel owner, it didn’t feel like it belonged to her. She always felt as though she were keeping this house for someone else, and she didn’t really like it.
She knew that she would never tell William that, not in a hundred years. No matter what happened, or where they ended up, Ellie was going to act like it was the best house she could ever ask for, no matter what it looked like.
I just wish I could make the best dinner I could imagine out of these stupid potatoes,
she thought. It was getting harder to make ends meet, and potatoes were becoming the staple in their diet.
Every now and then she would make a batch of sofky for them to enjoy, but that was bland, and she didn’t feel like going through the effort of shucking the corn. Ellie didn’t feel like doing a lot these days. Of course she wanted to be the happy little housewife for her husband, but with the weight of everything that was on her shoulders, she just wanted to lie down and fall asleep.
Come on now,
a little voice inside of her said,
you know Will is out there trying to get a job… make him a dinner he will want to come home to.
Ellie sighed and rolled up her sleeves. She pulled out the remaining corn cobs she had left, and pulled off the husks and hair. She put both the corn and the potatoes in a pot to boil on the wood stove.
As her veggies cooked, she put some flour in a bowl, with a bit of water and cinnamon.
Will loves cinnamon raisin bread, but I guess we will have to make due with just the cinnamon.
After making the dough, Ellie sprinkled some more of her flour on the counter, and went to work kneading. By the time she was ready to bake her bread, her veggies were soft on the stove.
Ellie quickly formed the loaves and put them in the pan, and she pulled her veggies off the top of the stove. Multi-tasking was something that Ellie had always been good at. It made her a good cook, and she felt it would make her a good mother, if she ever got the chance.
As the bread baked, Ellie used a knife to scrape the corn off of the husks and into another small pan, and she mashed the potatoes. William liked it when she left the skin in with the mashed potatoes, but Ellie preferred them smooth. She usually tried to make a good compromise and only leave in a few skins, but she wanted today to be special for Will, so she left all of the skins in.
She added a bit of butter and cream to the corn, and let it thicken on the stove. Just as she was pulling the bread out of the oven, she heard her husband coming into the house.
She could hear him whistling on the porch before he even opened the door, and her heart leapt.
“Ellie! Where is my beautiful bride? Ellie!” He called out.
“What? What is it? Did you get the-“ Ellie hurried around the corner onto the porch, only to be scooped up in her husband’s arms.
“I got it Ellie! I am officially a New York City banker! Ha! Now what do you think of that?!” William kissed his wife and spun her around in a circle, then set her down, laughing in the kitchen.
“I knew you could do it, love.” Ellie beamed at her husband. She was glad now that she had put together this dinner. It seemed as though things were looking up for them, at last. She wanted to celebrate.
“And what do we have here?” Will asked as he sat down at the table. “Creamed corn! Why Ellie, you never cease to amaze me… how did you know I was in the mood for creamed corn and mashed potatoes?”
Ellie blushed as she scooped a big spoonful of her creamed corn over the potatoes. It certainly wasn’t the same as they used to eat, but given their circumstance and the occasion, she felt like she had done a good job making a special dinner.
It wasn’t much, but Ellie felt satisfied. She knew that her husband was happy, and she hoped that his new job would work out for him. At long last, perhaps things were going to work out for them again.
Perhaps they could finally settle into a new life and a real home of their own.
*****
The days passed and William settled into his new job wonderfully. Each morning, Ellie got up before he did and made breakfast. She wanted it to be on the table for him when he came out to get his morning coffee.
William was right about the stress. Now that there was a source of income for them, she was feeling a lot better, but there was still that feeling in the bottom of her heart. No matter what she did, she just couldn’t shake that heavy, dark feeling.
Ellie didn’t know what it was. She had wanted children for a long time, and had been depressed off and on about not being able to have any. She accepted the fact that she was barren, but she was having a hard time coping with it.
William seemed to be in much higher spirits now. He got up with a whistle most days. Ellie could hear him putting on his shoes and his shirt before he came out for breakfast, and he was always cheerful.
Ellie hoped that her smile looked genuine to him. She was always happy to see her husband, and his warm smile often brought a smile to her own lips, but she felt that she may not be able to cover that involuntary sadness that was in her heart.
There was just a feeling she had… like something was about to go horribly wrong. It didn’t make any sense to her. She did her best to ignore it.
“Ellie my love, I think it is high time you and I had ourselves a picnic!” William was saying as he came out of the bedroom. Ellie smiled, she always did love a picnic, and it had been a long time since they had gone on one.
“Don’t you have to go to work today?” She asked.
“I told Gregory I thought my bride could use a day out in the sunshine. You have been so busy lately, what with keeping this house spotless and all… I would love to take you up on Pete’s hill and spend the day flying the kite and on a picnic… just like the old days! What do you say?”
Ellie couldn’t help but smile at her husband. He was so enthusiastic about it, and she
did
feel like she could use a break. It was true, she had been working really hard lately, they
both
had. A day off would be nice.
She packed up a basket with sandwiches and some potato salad that she had left over from the other night. Ellie wished that they had fried chicken to take, but her hens were so few these days, she couldn’t spare one for a splurge like this.
They road double back on Old Blue, William’s trusty little steed. Will loved that horse. He had him when he was fighting in the war, and had kept him ever since. Ellie liked the horse, too, but what she really wanted was a dog.
William promised her that she should have a dog when they were good and settled, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen any time soon.
Ellie sat on the picnic blanket and watched William fly the kite. They had flown kites together a lot when they were kids, and it was something that they still loved to do whenever they could.