Hit & Mrs. (31 page)

“Augusta and I can tell the caseworkers that you're a wonderful little mother, so I don't think you have anything to worry about. It's nothing we can't handle.”

Augusta spoke up. “In the meantime, we've been given permission to tell you that your charges have been dropped.”

“What? How?”

“Dumb came to our rescue in the end. He's turned informant on all of Candy's activities and he told the authorities how Candy coerced you into being their mule, as it were.”

“That's the reason we're cleared to go home, too,” Gemma said. “In light of the circumstances, they know that we accidently killed that man in self-defence.”

Gracie's eyes got big. “You killed a man?”

“I sprayed that horrible airport driver with mace. The foolish man had an allergic reaction and died.”

Gracie looked down at her hands. “I'm such a loser.”

“Don't be silly,” said Augusta. “Where's your family, honey?”

“I was raised by my grandmother, but she died two years ago.” Her eyes filled with tears. “The only reason I got into this mess in the first place is because I had no money. Keaton's father left me with nothing. He said we were going to start a new life in Montreal, but he got mixed up with drugs and he disappeared. Someone told me he left the country. I'll never see him again. Not that I ever
want
to see him again. He doesn't deserve to see Keaton anyway.”

The friends exchanged glances. Gemma said, “Shall we tell her?”

They nodded.

Gracie looked up. “Tell me what?”

Gemma held her hand. “How would you like to live with one of us?”

“What do you mean?”

Linda jumped in. “I think you should live with me. I have a huge house with no one in it. But I know I'm going to have to wrestle Gemma and Augusta for you.”

“I'd love to have you too,” Bette said, “but I wouldn't wish my parents on anyone.”

Gracie's eyes sparkled. “Do you mean it?”

Gemma patted her knee. “Of course we mean it,
bambino
. But don't be so quick to be happy. You'll have four mothers breathing down your neck.”

“I can't wait.” Gracie looked over at Keaton, who stirred in his sleep. He lifted his head and blinked with sleepy eyes, looking for his mother. When he saw the ladies, his lip went down and he started to cry.

All the friends tried to hush him, but it was his mother he wanted.

Gracie lifted him out of his crib. “There, there, baby boy. Everything's going to be all right now. Everything's going to be just fine.”

Keaton stopped crying once he was in his mother's arms. He hid his face in her neck and peeked out from time to time. The friends made funny faces and played peekaboo, and finally he turned towards them. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and gave them a big grin.

Uncle Sid and his sons left for home after their visit to the police station. Everyone else wanted to go home as soon as possible too. The police still needed more information from Gracie, so they made arrangements for her to follow her new mothers to Montreal later that week. Linda said she'd use that time to get a nursery set up. Gracie was so excited she clapped her hands like a little kid.

The Weinbergs insisted Bette drive back to Montreal with them, and since Gemma said she'd never fly again in a million years, they offered to take her back too. The police returned Bette's passport. They'd found it in Candy's warehouse, which was a bonus. There wasn't enough room for Augusta and Linda to accompany them, but they said they'd be fine flying back together, as soon as they could get a flight. Fortunately, Linda's suitcase arrived at the hotel in time for their departure.

They were about to get in their taxi for the airport when Linda spotted Stuart on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. Linda told Augusta she'd be right with her, then walked over to Stuart.

“You're all alone?”

“Ryan left for the airport as soon as we got back to the hotel.”

“I see.”

“She's not too happy with me at the moment, but I still have two days of meetings to go to.”

“Were you able to reschedule your speech?”

“Fortunately, yes. I told them I had a family emergency.”

They glanced away from each other for a moment and then Stuart cleared his throat. “I'm glad you're okay. Whatever you might think, I'd never want any harm to come to you.”

“I know that.”

“I'm sorry, Linda.”

She didn't say anything at first. “Whatever happens between us, I don't want your relationship with Wes to disintegrate. I expect you to be there for him as always. Can you promise me that?”

“Of course.”

Linda took a deep breath. “And since this is the first civilized conversation we've had in a while, I want to tell you that I paid for this trip for all of us with your Visa; the one you left in your sock drawer.”

Stuart's eyes popped for a moment and he almost said something, but he obviously thought the better of it.

“Doesn't matter.”

“Goodbye, Stuart. I hope she makes you happy.” She turned around, walked over to the cab, and got in. He watched the taxi until it was out of sight.

They got into Montreal late that night. Everyone was exhausted but supremely happy to be home. Someone must have been on watch in the front window at Gemma's house, because as soon as the

Weinbergs pulled up and Gemma got out, the entire family poured down the porch stairs. Anna jumped in her arms and wouldn't let go, so Gemma had to kiss and hug everyone with Anna on her hip.

Angelo smiled and gave her a big hug. “Hey, beautiful.”

She was speechless for about five seconds. “Who's been plying your father with wine?”

He put his arm around her shoulder and escorted her to the house. “I missed you and we have a surprise for you.”

“Goodness, what is it?”

“It's in the kitchen,” Anna told her.

They trooped in as a unit. The only thing Gemma saw was her dratted mother-in-law.

“Hello, Nonna.”

Nonna stood stiffly at attention. She looked at Angelo for encouragement. He nodded at her. She came forward, leaned in, and kissed an astonished Gemma on the cheek.

“
Benvenuta
, Gemma.”

“Th-thank you.”

“We buy you a present to make you happy,” Nonna said.

Anna ran to where her grandmother had been standing. “Look, Mama. Instead of you buying a gift for us, we bought one for you.”

Anna moved aside and there was a brand-spanking-new, top-of-the-line dishwasher.

Gemma's hands flew to her face. “Are you serious? A dishwasher?”

Angelo nodded proudly. “Yeah, isn't that great? Why did we buy it for her, Mama?”

He waited for her to say her rehearsed line. Nonna struggled before she opened her mouth. “You work hard.”

“And…” Angelo prompted her.

“You a good mama.”

Tears sprang to Gemma's eyes. “Why, thank you, Nonna. I appreciate that.”

Anna hopped around the machine. “Quick, let's cook something so we can dirty the dishes.”

Nonna, relieved to have that ordeal over with, immediately ran to the fridge. “I get some dinner.”

The kids rushed around to set the table. Gemma hugged Angelo. “Thank you.”

“Hey, I gotta keep my woman happy so she doesn't leave me again.”

“If this is what's going to happen every time I go away, I'll be gone every weekend. I need a new dryer, too.”

They laughed together.

When Bette and entourage arrived home, all the Weinbergs were there with a handmade sign drawn by her nieces and nephews: “Welcome Home Aunt Bette.” Every relative she had in the world came out of the woodwork to be there. There was food and wine, a family reunion.

Naturally everyone had heard of Ida's miraculous achievement and clamoured for all the details. She held forth in the middle of the room and then demonstrated her new-found ability. She got out of the chair and hobbled around the room for a few minutes. Everyone clapped and cheered.

Bette and her sisters-in-law found themselves in the kitchen replenishing trays of food.

“I can't believe how happy and grateful I am to be back in this dingy apartment,” she smiled.

Miriam laughed. “It's life-altering, I'm sure.”

Bette took a drink of wine. “I'll never take my life for granted again, that I can tell you.”

“It's like having a new start,” Esther agreed.

Bette nodded happily.

Miriam looked around the room to make sure no one was listening, and then she took Bette by the arm and pulled her into the corner, Esther right behind her.

“Listen, Bette, I think now is the time to break away from your parents. Your mother can get around now.”

“But who knows how long that will last?”

Esther pointed at her. “You don't demand enough for yourself. You should have your own place.”

“But…”

“Bette, dear, stop putting up roadblocks,” Miriam interrupted. “You know perfectly well the boys can help with expenses and what–not, if we have to hire someone to come in from time to time. I know Mordecai has suggested that before, but you always have an excuse. Don't waste the second half of your life, Bette. You've been given a second chance. Take it.”

Bette looked worried. “You're right. Ma will never want me to go out again.”

“Exactly,” Esther said. “Think of the hell your life will be.”

“I'd strike while the iron's hot,” Miriam said. “She's so grateful you're alive, she'd say yes to anything.”

Bette gulped the last of her wine. “Do you think?”

They both nodded their heads.

Bette looked off in the distance. “My own place.” Then she shook her head. “She'd never let me.”

“
Let
you?”

“You don't know what she's like. She'll make me feel guilty.”

Miriam squared her shoulders. “Right, I don't care if you think I'm an interfering busybody. This stops today. Come with me.” She grabbed Bette by the hand and pulled her into the living room. Bette looked beseechingly at Esther, who said, “Go, go.”

“I need more wine.”

Esther ran to get a bottle and poured Bette a large glass.

Miriam clapped her hands. “Excuse me, excuse me, everyone.”

The room went quiet.

Miriam smiled. “I just wanted to say, on behalf of all of us, how happy we are to have our Bette back safe and sound.”

Everyone clapped and cheered. Bette raised her glass to them and then downed it.

“And I'd like to make an announcement.”

Bette looked green.

“Ida, we're thrilled that you've been given the chance to be up and running again.”

Everyone clapped and cheered again. Ida soaked it all up.

“Now that you're a little more independent, Ida, I'm sure you'll agree that this would be the best time for Bette to move out on her own. I think its God's way of letting you know that Bette can fly away now. He's given her wings and you feet!”

Everyone clapped and cheered once more. Everyone but Ida. Her face went as dark as a thundercloud. She stood still for only two seconds before she appealed to her favorite altar, the ceiling.

“What have I done to deserve this? My daughter goes missing, so I have to kill a man, and then I nearly get shot so she can come home and what does she do but go missing again? I can't take it. Oy, the pain, the pain.”

She staggered a little before collapsing back in her chair. “My legs… my legs. I can't feel my legs.”

There was silence. Ida looked around. Everyone was stony-faced.

“What? You've never heard of a relapse?”

David, the doctor, spoke up. “I find it awfully convenient, Ma, that the minute Bette tries to exert her own will, you get a relapse. Odd, don't you think?”

“What's so odd about it? It happens.”

No one answered her. Bette held out her glass. Esther poured the wine to the brim.

Izzy came forward. “Ida, give it up.”

She threw daggers at him. “Give what up?”

“This charade. You know you can walk.”

There was a gasp from everyone and they all started to talk at once. Bette handed her wine glass to Esther. She put her two fingers in her mouth and whistled. Silence descended once more and she walked over to her mother.

“Is it true?”

“Is what true?” Ida clasped her hands and twirled her thumbs and looked everywhere but at Bette.

“So, it's true then,” Bette said sadly.

Ida shrugged.

“Why? Just tell me why.”

Ida looked at Izzy. He nodded at her to go on, but Ida shouted instead. “You tell her, then, since you're so smart.”

Bette turned her head to look at her father. “Tell me what?”

Izzy lit a smoke before he spoke. “Your mother had a baby girl when she was fifteen.”

No one said a word. Ida looked at the floor.

“In those days, that sort of thing was frowned upon, as you can imagine. Her parents made her give the child away. Your mother never got over it. We had five sons and loved them all, but the one thing she wanted was a girl. Then you came along, Bette, with your big brown eyes and your red hair, and your mother knelt by her bed every night asking God not to send away another daughter.”

Bette looked at her mother, but her father continued. “I'm afraid I am as much to blame. I've loved having you here too. It made your mother happy. It wasn't so much of a lie. She does have trouble walking, but we never should've let this go on for as long as it has. It wasn't fair, and I can see that now. I'm sorry, Bette. I hope you can forgive us. You should have your own home. You're not a little girl anymore, and I think you proved that in the last couple of days.” His eyes filled up. “We were so afraid of losing you…” He couldn't continue.