Hitman's Captive: A Bad Boy Romance (33 page)

Chapter Four

Bella

I sank
back against the door I’d just closed and fought the scream that was trying to
escape.

Damn
it all!

Emotions
stabbed through me, a tidal wave I couldn’t control as the day-from-hell
crashed over me again and again.

The
anger was obvious, though where it was directed I couldn’t have said right now
- Seth, my father, life itself…they all seemed to be vying for my attention at
the moment. But under that were elements of disappointment, frustration and
some deep sadness I didn’t even understand. That only made the whole thing
worse, and now that the asshole was gone I couldn’t stop my body from shaking,
everything too much to process as I tried to catch my breath.

But
worst of all…my body was still vibrating just from that one, brief touch. The
words he’d said. The look on his face.

God-damn
sexy, arrogant bastard.

Seeing
Seth standing opposite me in the drawing room earlier had been enough of a
shock, but what had shaken me to my core was the
difference.

Three
years ago, he’d been a boy with skills no boy should have - coupled with a
matching badass attitude and sexy-as-hell smile that lit up the mischief in his
eyes.

Now…he
was a man. In every sense of the word.

The
body that had been so much more impressive than any of the other idiot jocks
had filled out beyond belief - it was harder, thicker and he carried it with an
unconscious, confident grace that I could only describe as deadly. When I’d
heard later at dinner that he was in the SEALs, it had fit in a way that made
me shudder. That was what emanated from him now - a dangerous intensity and
fierce control that scared me more than his wild behavior ever had.

Scared
me, and set my blood on fire.

Fuck.

I
could still feel the lust coiling through me, despite everything that had
happened between us, the rage and frustration I lived with for so long - none
of it prevented his gaze from setting my pulse beating hard within me.

I took
a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair, trying not to imagine what else
he might have learned in three long years, trying not to picture how easily a
body like that could throw me around or pin me down to make me writhe helplessly
under him. It was hopeless, but at least his callous words had given me enough
to spark the embers of my fury.

Once
I’d finally stopped the galloping of my heart I walked back over to the small
desk at the other end of the room, the bright laptop screen looking back at me.
My gaze flickered across the information I’d been reading about the MCAT exam
and I switched it off, feeling defeated.

I
flopped down on the large bed that occupied the middle of the room, white
covers with only a little blue embroidery surrounding me - sophisticated,
unassuming, and so far removed from another bed I’d never forgotten, sitting in
a hotel room a few miles from here. The nature of the bed didn’t change the
dangerous electricity still in the air where he’d caught me, pinned me with
that gaze and touched my body with an ownership that was as brazen as if he’d
never left it.

My
mind flickered back to his lips hovering above mine, to the kiss it could have been,
and I groaned inwardly. It was a good thing he hadn’t tried to take it further,
because I was in no position to stop him - and I had no idea whether I would
have melted against that hard, powerful chest or slapped him silly.

Yes
you do.

That
small part of me that wouldn’t let up whispered the answer, but I ignored it.

It
wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t be possible for him to cause that in me, after all
this time. I had spent so long getting over the whole ridiculous fling, so much
time angry and frustrated - with myself as much as him - I shouldn’t just fall
back into it so easily.

My
body didn’t seem to care. One touch and I was craving it all again - a crazy
desire that was all the more wrong now.

Idiot
- he’s your stepbrother to be, remember?

But
try as I might, I wasn’t sure I could picture him that way. I knew him too
well, too intimately for that. I wasn’t sure I could ever look at him and not
see that intense, passionate time.

Or all
the pain and resentment after he’d disappeared without a word.

I sighed,
the confusion in the wake of his seductive words coming back to me again,
resenting the thoughts and feelings they’d brought right to the surface again.

“Is
that what you’re telling yourself, baby? Because I remember it differently…”

And
then those tempting, dangerous images that had washed over deep longings I’d
thought forgotten.

My
biggest mistake.

How
angry he’d been at that - sure, it came out in a controlled arrogance, but I’d
seen the reason he’d gone on the offensive, those deadly skills engaged to deny
my words.

The
words that hadn’t even been meant that way. I’d never begrudged myself that
explosive night we’d had together, the raging desire I’d felt for him or the
deep satisfaction we’d taken from each other. Try as I might, I’d never been able
to regret that time together.

My
mistake had been believing it meant something more.

My
lips twisted into a wry smile with the familiar self-deprecation. I’d seen girl
after girl fall for his bedroom skills, rolled my eyes at the pathetic way they
ran after him for more and dismissed them as fools when they cried to each
other, heartbroken over a one night stand with a boy who’d never stuck with a
girl for more than a few days.

That
will never be me, I’m better than that - I’d know what I was getting into, and
I wouldn’t stick around waiting on some idiot, either.

Turns
out, in that infinite wisdom born of inexperience, I didn’t have a clue.

Despite
everything I’d told myself, despite knowing better in every possible way,
somehow I’d managed to convince myself I was special. Different. Like every
dime-a-dozen girl at our school.

Sure,
he went after me with almost single-minded determination. Teased and provoked
and pursued longer than I would ever have bet on. Enough that by the time I
finally decided it would be a good way to give up my virginity, in one
spectacular, crazy night, there was a spark of belief that it meant something
more. Even if I’d never wanted it to. And after that night…the spark exploded.
Set the rest of my body on fire.

Until
his disappearance burned me out - completely.

Belle.

The
sardonic irony of that name tonight replaced the sweet caress it had always
been. The final nail in the coffin.

Anger
surged in me again for a moment at the thought of the laugh he must have had
with it - a whole year spent in pursuit, and he’d finally reduced the
off-limits top-of-the-class girl to burning desire and the pathetic belief that
she meant something different.

It
might have been my own fault, but as far as I was concerned, he could burn in
hell for it too.

Well,
I hope my fall was everything you were looking for, asshole - because I’m done.

My
traitorous body be damned - stepbrother or no, I’m staying as far away as I can
manage.

Chapter Five

Bella

“
Maternal
influence?!”

Kaylee
looked at me in horror and I grumbled appreciatively, already feeling better.
The sexy blond beauty had always been good for sympathy, and she loved hearing
a drama-filled story.

“That
was an asshole thing to say - I hope you called him on it.”

There
was a pause for a moment, then she glanced sidelong towards me.

“Of
course you didn’t.”

I
thought the dramatic sigh was uncalled for and swung around onto my front,
resting my head on hands folded under my cheek with my face turned towards her.

“He’s
my father—”

“And
of course that makes him immune from wrong-doing.”

Kaylee’s
smile took some of the sting out of it, but I still bristled, taking a long sip
of the iced coffee resting on the floor by the sun-lounger I was lying on,
poking the ice cream still floating decadently within it with the straw. We
were out around the back of the house, lying by the pool in one of our favorite
summer pastimes.

“Oddly
enough, I had other things on my mind just then.”

Kaylee
murmured her acceptance and waved me onward with the story again.

“So,
what’s she like - your new step-mother?”

My
thoughts had drifted, looking out over the endless waves of ocean that the deck
faced. This part of the Californian coast was beautiful and as the sun beat
down above us, I could smell the salt-air from here. It was a beautiful day.

The
sort of thing I’d been looking forward to this summer, before yesterday had
thrown me to chaos.

“Hmm?
Oh, she seems alright.”

“Really?
Well…that’s good.”

I
almost laughed at the hint of disappointment Kaylee didn’t quite hide. She’d
been enjoying my complaint laden haranguing as much as I had. I raised an
eyebrow at her and smiled.

“Not
quite the evil step-mother you were hoping for?”

She
gave me a quick punch on the shoulder and then sat up, stretching and reaching
for more suncream.

“Nah,
you know I wouldn’t wish that on you.”

I eyed
her and then rolled back onto my back, not liking the strain on my neck from
trying to follow her movements.

“The
new stepbrother on the other hand…”

She gasped
and turned to me again, suncream forgotten.

“She’s
got a
son
too?! You didn’t tell me that!”

I
laughed at the excitement in her expression, but couldn’t blame her - this was
probably one of the few interesting updates on my life I’d ever given her. Considering
that tales of academic work, medical school and science problems bored her to
tears.

I
hadn’t been entirely sure I was going to mention Seth, but not mentioning him
would have just raised eventual questions, and anyway - best way to get over this
whole thing seemed to be to acknowledge that he was there and refuse anything
more than that. Despite my best effort, my body sparked again at the thought of
him, and my memory of last night still seemed able to make my blood pulse, but
I pushed that away -
hard.

“Well,
he’s an arrogant son of a bitch, so I wasn’t sure I wanted to.”

That
only sparked her interest, as I’d known it would, and I sighed inwardly.

“Cursing?
From the calm, collected Bella? This requires an explanation!”

Then
she giggled and interrupted herself with a darting glance.

“You
know you just called your step-mom a bitch, right?”

I
snorted and shook my head. She was right - I wasn’t so good with bad language.
It was something that only really seemed to come to the fore around Seth…

“Ah,
there’s not much to say, Kay-Kay. He’s a Navy SEAL with a bad mouth and the
arrogance to match. Drives me up the wall.”

“
Really?
A Navy SEAL?”

The
light in her bright blue eyes stirred me a little but I just shrugged.

“You should
give him a chance, Bella - you only met him last night. Maybe he was as pissed
off being there as you were. And he has to have something in him if he’s in the
elite forces.”

He
had something alright.

And I
had no doubt she was right about him being pissed off at the whole situation.
Didn’t change anything.

“Nah -
he was in school with me. He’s a no-good asshole and he spent the night
needling and provoking me. I’m staying well clear of that.”

She
sent me a curious glance that almost had me squirming for a moment, but then
shrugged and turned back to the suncream.

“If
you say so, babe. Well I’m here anytime you want to cry your heart out over it
- but if you ever get to meet some of those SEAL friends of his…just don’t
forget about poor old me, heh?”

I gave
her a grin and shook my head in mock exasperation, but her attitude lifted my
spirits at least. If there was anyone who could reduce an infuriating,
provocative bastard to a hot piece of ass, it would be Kaylee.

We
were as different as sun and moon, but I think that was part of why we got on
so well - she’d always given me a new crazy way of looking at things. And a
peek into a more wild side of life that I couldn’t help finding fascinating -
even as I remained very glad to look on it safely from afar. Looking back on
it, it had been a miracle my Dad had approved of my involvement with her - but
then, she’d charmed him as easily as she’d wrapped her own father around her
finger.

She’d
been one of the best things about this place, ever since that first innocuous
day when she’d bounded up to me at school, aged eight.

“Maria
said you don’t have a Mommy. Me neither - let’s be friends!”

And
like so many times since, I’d looked at her in shock - and then we’d done
exactly what she’d suggested. It helped that her father owned a place only a
few houses down from ours, so we’d grown up pretty much on the same beaches,
doing the same stupid stuff. And although I’m sure her eight-year-old self had
had no clue at the time, the words were a fair premonition, as we’d ended up
working out a lot of the “what would a mother teach us here” stuff together.

Feeling
at least a little better for unloading my grievances to someone who was
actually supportive, I decided to shift the conversation before it got
dangerous and glanced over at Kaylee again.

“So,
what are you doing these days? Did you stick with Creative Writing in the end?”

Kaylee
wrinkled her nose and shrugged.

“For a
bit, but it wasn’t my thing. I’m on Fine Art now, that seems to suit me
better.”

I grinned
a little crookedly, trying not to show my amusement, but it was hard. Kaylee
had changed majors twice now, and both times it was the same thing - she hadn’t
found what she was looking for. Heavens knew what that was - but so far her
father hadn’t objected to funding her search. That was Kaylee though - while
I’d moved straight from one goal to the next, Kaylee had always proclaimed she
liked to ‘flit’. Said there wasn’t much point in life if you couldn’t have a
few unexpected diversions along the way. As far as I could tell, though, her
life had
only
been unexpected diversions.

“Well,
so long as you’ve still got your Dad in your pocket.”

I
winked at her, the subject of her ease in getting her way a common joke between
us. This time, however, her brow furrowed again.

“Yeah,
well, he’s been getting a bit more difficult about that. We’ve had a few
arguments about ‘responsibility’ and ‘growing up’ and such nonsense recently.”

“Really?”

I
swung around to look at her - this was new. Kaylee just shrugged, wrinkling her
nose again in distaste.

“Think
he didn’t approve of Jagger.”

Ohh,
that.

I
raised an eyebrow and gave her a sardonic smile.

“You
mean the one you used his money to bail out of jail?”

Amusement
laced my voice as she turned to look at me.

“Yeah,
him. It was only for weed.”

We
both burst out laughing and I shook my head.

“You’re
a piece of work sometimes, you know that.”

She
gave me a graceful shrug and pulled her hair back behind one shoulder,
affecting her best offended attitude.

“He
didn’t have to be so uptight about it. It wasn’t like it was anything serious.”

I just
rolled my eyes. As I’d never even tried marijuana, I was pretty sure Kaylee
kept some of her more wild adventures to herself, but hearing her casual
opinions did challenge my beliefs sometimes. It was part of the reason I valued
her as a friend - even if it made that friendship frustrating at times.

“Nothing
to worry about anyway - I’ll handle it.”

She
gave that confident smile and rose from the sun-lounger with a grace I envied.
Her tall, long legs and a slender figure only added to the reasons she drew the
eye - so long as someone could put up with her unpredictable behavior. From
what I’d seen of her love life though, that seemed easier to do than holding
her interest. As with academia, Kay ‘flitted’ from man to man. She dove into
the sparkling pool to cool off, her long-legged body elegant and tanned in the
warm summer sun.

It had
made me jealous once, but Kaylee was too good-spirited and fun to mind. Plus,
she rarely seemed to notice the effect she had - unless she was actively
looking for some fun, anyway.

I
watched her swim a couple of laps before she came back towards me, hanging from
the edge of the pool and looking up at me with a grin.

“I
fucking love summer. So what about you, anyway - how’s that foray into
forensics going? Did you tell your Dad yet?”

This
time it was my turn to wrinkle my nose, disappointment flashing through me
again as I recalled all the things that had gone wrong yesterday.

“Ah, I
don’t know…”

Kaylee
saw my expression - and immediately interpreted it correctly.

“What
happened?”

The
knowing look in her eyes unsettled me, but I just shrugged.

“Ahh,
Dad wasn’t keen on the idea. You know what he’s like - and he’s probably right.
Maybe medicine made more sense after all.”

Kaylee’s
bright face scowled instantly and she raised herself out of the water, spraying
droplets all over our things.

“Hey!”

I was
in swimming gear, but I exclaimed anyway. She just shot me a look and plopped down
opposite me, picking up her own mostly melted iced coffee with a suspicious
glare.

“I
thought you weren’t going to do that anymore, Bella - you promised you’d give
your own plans a shot for once.”

Her
familiar tirade irritated me, and I sighed, gesturing dismissively - but this
time, she didn’t quite seem willing to let it go.

“Seriously,
Bella - I just listened to you rant for half an hour straight about how you
came home to a new stepmother and brother he never even thought to tell you
about! And now we’re talking about your own career, your own life - and you
shrug and want to go along with what he says, again! God damn, do you really
care so little about what you want?!”

Suddenly
angry, I jumped up, glaring back at her.

“Damn
it, Kay - I spend a hell of a lot more time thinking about this stuff than you
ever have. But his advice has always been good - and he’s had a ton more
experience than me. Just because I have a father I can respect doesn’t mean you
need to undermine him the whole fucking time.”

The
pointed words struck home and I saw the flash of hurt on her face before she
masked it a moment later, taking a deep breath as she stood and looked at me
with a far-too-calm expression.

“My
god, you really are pissed this time, babe.”

The
soft, gentle words deflated my anger as quickly as it had sprung up and I just
looked at her, feeling suddenly helpless under the weight of that gaze. She
came forward instantly, wrapping her arms around me and taking me over to the
soft chaise sitting back a little from the pool, the cushions covering the
wicker warmed in the sun. We sank onto it together - and then, against all
belief, I broke down crying.

Everything
else deserting me, I sobbed uncontrollably against her while every twisted
thought and emotion that had pounded at me the last couple of days came out in
a crazed rush. I was struggling to breathe, but she held on and waited me out
while I gasped and sputtered, cursing and muttering nonsense.

Part
of me was mortified at the explosive bout of emotion, but I couldn’t help it.
It had just all become too much - the shock, the anger and frustration…every
overwhelming emotion combined with the struggle to remain calm and in control
had affected me far more than I’d thought. This finally gave me an outlet, and
everything I’d been forcing myself to ignore, to keep in, surged out of me in a
crashing wave as Kaylee rocked me gently.