Hitman's Captive: A Bad Boy Romance (53 page)

Chapter Twenty Six

Bella

I
looked around at the bright, smiling faces and tried to force a similar kind of
happiness onto my own expression, ignoring the hard, painful beating inside my
chest.

Having
to attend my father's wedding with a broken heart was a special kind of hell.
Probably one reserved for girls stupid enough to fall in love with the kind of
bastard who would abandon them to that fate.

The
last few days had been a daze of disbelief and regret. Fluctuating between
hoping he was going to come back, change his mind and make everything right
with us - and wishing him gone from my life completely.

But this
was it.

My
father's wedding.

The
day that the whole summer seemed to have revolved around.

Well,
that and my stormy relationship with one sinfully hot Navy SEAL. But if you
asked anyone else, they'd probably say it had been about the former.

And
since he wasn't here...I guessed maybe it was. The one relationship under our
roof that had ever stood a chance.

My
stupid, flickering flame of hope was slowly dying with every moment that
passed, as I looked around and hoped to see Seth - heading for me, with
something
in his expression. It was such a stupid thing to still want, but I couldn't
help it.

I
loved him - and I'd wanted so much to make him see that we could make it work.

My
father, the SEAL thing - all of it.

It
grated that he hadn't given me a chance to discuss or explain, before making
the decision for me.

I
wanted to
try
instead of giving up.

Wasn't
that what SEALs were supposed to do?

The
whole thing had run through my mind a million times since he'd left - the news
about Ryan and the memory of Becky's passion as she described the difficult
life - and I knew it didn't matter.

I
could deal with it - all of it...except him leaving.

I
wasn't sure how I was meant to survive that. Not when he'd been the source of
all my new-found strength and purpose - the person who’d shown me so much about
who I was.

Not
when my heart and body beat with the memory of his touch, his eyes, his cocky
smile...

The
familiar pain flashed again and I tried to push it away as I heard the music
start up. I was waiting behind Cora in a cream-and-pink bridesmaid dress that
wasn't as terrible as I'd feared, and then - before I was ready - we were
moving in.

My
stomach flipped and I wasn't sure whether it was because of my father's
marriage, the strained relationship that had persisted between us since that
argument, or the fierce need to have Seth back. Maybe all three.

I was
so screwed.

Ignoring
that, I painted my face in a smile for the cameras and moved through the
motions.

The
majority of the ceremony passed in a daze, just like everything else at the
moment.

I'd
seen Cora look around a couple of times for Seth, but I could have told her he
wasn't here. Wouldn't be here. Not with the way he’d abandoned everything.

It was
just me.

The
disgraced daughter.

I'd barely
spoken to my father since our argument, with neither of us willing to go back
there. Even if Seth was no longer in the picture - even if my father might have
been right about my whole involvement with him - I couldn't take that first
step. Not now. Not alone.

Because
I'd been right too, damn it, and I knew there was no way I could make him see
that now. It was obvious that Seth had disappeared - and no doubt, how I was
feeling as well.

But
that didn’t mean I’d been wrong to love him, to feel those things and want that
with him. None of the things I said to my father were wrong, and if Seth were
here I’d be pursuing them gladly. So I wouldn’t take it back. I wouldn’t just
go
fix my relationship with my father
as Seth had so neatly put it. As if it
was that simple.

My
relationship with my father had started out messed up, and as far as I was
concerned, if this was as ‘fixed’ as it was going to get, it was still better
than living the way I had.

Even
if the last few days I’d been so completely, utterly alone.

Seth
was gone. My father, if he ever could have supported me through this, was gone.

Even
Kaylee was gone. She’d avoided me since telling my father about Seth, and I was
still pissed enough about that to let her.

The
ceremony caught my attention when the priest asked whether anyone objected to
the wedding.

In my
fantasy, Seth strode in now, his calm and controlled ferocity directed at the
wedding party as he objected on our behalf. Like one of those knights from my
novels in truth. It wouldn’t be legal, of course, and it would cause complete
chaos, but it would make a point. It would be a statement.

A
stupid, overly romantic notion, but my body reacted at the thought of it
anyway, and I had to scold myself into stillness.

This
wasn’t a fantasy.

I held
my breath anyway - but they were past that part within moments, and the door
remained closed. There was no crash, no objection.

I
wouldn’t mind if you were late…

But it
was an idiotic thought. It wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t here. He wasn’t
going to be here.

Then,
before I realized it, they were being pronounced husband and wife.

My
stomach sank.

That
was it.

Seth
was now officially my stepbrother.

Fuck.

*  *  *

That
sinking feeling didn’t improve at the reception as the tightness in my gut spread
throughout my whole body, until by the time it evening approached I felt like
some kind of wooden doll.

Go
here, smile at these people, make an inane comment there, eat, drink, listen
attentively.

From what
I could tell, my father and Cora were very pleased with the ceremony and
reception. Pity that something which had taken so much time and effort was
passing before me almost unnoticed, but at least  everything seemed like
it was going according to plan.

Well,
except Seth and I. They were probably ignoring that issue.

If
they were, I appreciated it.

In
truth, I wanted to be happy for them. I wanted them to be happy. I just wished
it didn’t conflict so badly with what I wanted.

Not
that it mattered, since Seth wasn’t here.

I
wasn’t even sure what I’d do if he was.

Underneath
the overwhelming sadness and tinge of hope, there was still that roiling anger
I didn’t know how to deal with.

Damn
him for leaving me alone.

I kept
wondering - was it just Ryan, was it just all the crazy stuff he’d been through
in the last week? Or was he simply done?

I
couldn’t quite believe that - not the way he’d looked at me before he left. Not
with everything we’d shared.

There
was so much of me that didn’t want to believe I could be so utterly wrong -
about everything.

But it
wouldn’t be the first time.

I
found myself wandering the gardens of the place they’d hired, drifting further
from the main groups of people as I tried to find some element of peace in the
cooler air. It was late enough that no one would notice if I only started
making a few appearances, and I wasn’t sure I could spend much more time
forcing myself to be pleasant as I waited for the time we could all see them
both off on their honeymoon.

It was
only a few hours, and the car was already waiting outside…

I
stopped as a shadow detached itself from the copse of trees nearby.

He
might be a sneaky as hell Navy SEAL, but I’d grown used to his presence.

That
didn’t change the way everything in me froze, the way I didn’t want to turn
around because I wasn’t sure if I was going to scream or kiss him.

He
screwed with every emotion I’d ever had, and despite spending the day wishing
he was here, it was hard not to feel anything but resentment.

Resentment
and deep, unending need. A flare of heat across my body that I wished I could
deny.

“Bella…”

His
voice was soft, seductive as it had always been, with the same heat that echoed
through me.

Damn
it.

My
hands clenched and unclenched, but I still couldn’t bring myself to turn
around.

Instead,
he stepped up behind me - a solid, secure weight that immediately made me feel
warm and protected with the strength of it. I was hard and tense against him,
but his mouth lowered to my ear, breath whispering against it as he nuzzled
there.

“My
beauty. My Belle.”

The
rough tone shuddered through me, and the words lit the part of me that had
thought of nothing else.

“Seth…”

My
tone held a warning, with too much underneath it for even me to interpret.

“I
love you, Bella.”

What
the hell did that even mean?

It was
too much. Too many conflicting thoughts and emotions.

This
time I did swing around, glaring up at him with eyes that for once weren’t
filled with tears. Yet.

“No.
Not again, Seth.”

The
soft sadness in his eyes - the regret - as he looked at me, had my heart
beating fast. And I hadn’t realized what seeing him up close would do to me,
the way my blood would flood with heat and every part of me would want to press
against him and touch and taste and feel…

Damn
it!

We were
past that. Past everything.

“It’s
too late,
brother.
You might not have bothered to show up - but it
happened. They’re married.”

To my
surprise, his eyes only doubled their quiet ferocity as he cupped my cheek, the
large palm warm against my soft skin.

“I
don’t care. You’re not my sister. You never have been. They knew about this
when they got married - that’s their choice.”

“What
you care about seems to change every few minutes.”

He
winced as the double meaning belatedly hit me.

“And
who.”

“Fuck
it, Bella, that’s not true—”

“No,
I’m done listening. You walked out. You left. Done.”

But I
wasn’t done. Damn it, I wasn’t.

And
when he closed his mouth over my own, taking my words and turning the heat of
anger into a gathering passion, my body gave in - I leaned into him as
everything I’d tried to push away came back.

How
could he do this to me? Affect me like this?

It was
insane. Impossible.

That
didn’t matter as it washed over me like a desperately missed friend, the
comfort and safety and warmth of his embrace promising to drive away every
problem I’d ever had.

That
didn’t stop the anger - the fury at him, myself and the whole damn world for
doing this to us.

I
couldn’t begin to understand everything I felt, let alone form a coherent
reaction as his tongue parted my mouth and he penetrated deep inside me once
again.

I
wanted to be angry - damn it, I
was
angry.

But
every moment with him stole that away as all those cursed hopes came back.

He’d
come back. For me.

Too
late.

I pulled
back to meet his eyes, seeing the storm in my own reflected there.

“Fuck
it, Seth. No. I spent the whole damn morning wanting you here, hoping
desperately to see you suddenly appear. Picturing you storming in and making
everything right.”

My
breath was coming quicker now, whether from anger or desire I didn’t know, the
pure strength of emotions driving me.

“But
you weren’t fucking there. You weren’t. And now…it’s too late.”

The
surprise on his face as his hand ran through my hair made me pause for a moment,
and he frowned at me.

“I was
there, Bella. I saw the wedding - the whole thing. But I didn’t think you’d
want me ruining our parents’ big day with a sudden appearance - especially with
the way we left things.”

I
stared at him.

What?!

I hadn’t
seen him, at all. I’d been looking for him. He hadn’t been there.

“Seriously?”

He
nodded, shifting closer to me as his arms came around me again. I wanted to
shrug him off, but it felt too good.

“Seriously.
You really wanted that?”