Hold On Tight (Take My Hand) (23 page)

“Let me do this, Dex. Let
me
give this to
you
.” He nodded slowly,
holding onto my hips as I climbed on top of him, straddling my legs over his
strong thighs. I bit my bottom lip nervously as I lowered myself onto him. I
wasn’t used to taking control and I wanted it to be as amazing for him as he
always made it for me. But then he let out a low growl from the back of his
throat and I instantly relaxed.

I started to move up and down, slowly at first before gradually building
momentum. Dexter’s hands had wandered to my breasts and he kneaded them gently,
occasionally giving my nipples little tugs between his thumb and forefinger and
sending waves of rippling pleasure ricocheting throughout my whole body.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Dexter groaned, tipping his head back. It was
all the encouragement I needed to start moving even faster. I worked hard and
fast on top of him, placing my hands on his chest for support as the increasing
pleasure made my strength begin to wane. It was coming again… the build… the
ache…. the cascade of desperate need flowing through my core…

“Look at me, doll,” I heard Dexter say. It was only then I realised I
had my eyes closed. Opening them, my eyes met his and suddenly I wouldn’t have
been able to pull them away from his hungry gaze even if I’d wanted to. “I need
to see your eyes when I give myself to you.”

I continued to work myself against him and I felt him growing thicker,
as he neared the point of no return. I squeezed my thighs together, gripping
him tighter, I couldn’t prevent the scream that shot out of my mouth when I
slammed harder onto him, hitting places I didn’t even know existed.

“Now, doll. I need you to come now,” he practically ordered. Not that he
needed to – I was already there.

“I am!” I whimpered. “Oh…oh… God… Dexter!”

“That’s it, doll,” he said through an almost animalistic growl. “Fuck
me, that’s it. Just like that…” In that moment I exploded around him. As the
waves of pleasure ripped through my body my strength began to wane and my knees
started to wobble. Still, I kept moving while I waited for him. My body
trembled, my heart raced and a mist of sweat dusted over my entire body. “I
love you, Emily,” he breathed harshly. “So. Fucking. Much.” Then, Dexter joined
me. His erection pulsated inside me as he pulled me down on top of him, twisted
his fingers into my hair and kissed me.

Hard.

“I’ve missed you,” I whispered into his mouth. I felt the edges of his
lips turn up into a smile against mine.

“I’ve missed you too. And I don’t
ever
want to have to miss you again.”
Me
neither,
I thought silently. Then I gave in to the weak muscles in my legs and
completely collapsed on top of him.

~Dexter~

We
must have stayed in the same position for
half an hour or so. I was still inside her as her beautifully naked body
remained draped over mine. She had her head on my chest and I curled those
fiery curls I love so much around my fingers with one hand and caressed the
bare flesh of her back with the other.

“You
hear that?” she murmured against my chest.

“Hear
what?” I asked, looking around the room for a clue.

“The
song.”

I
cocked my head as if getting my ears just that tiny bit nearer would make a
difference.

“This
is that Glee shit of yours isn’t it?”

“Yeah
but forget who’s singing it… listen to the words.”

Closing
my eyes, I listened intently to the dude warbling out of Emily’s cell. It only
took a couple of lines to realize immediately what she was saying to me. It
made my heart feel heavy with that iron block of guilt I can never completely
rid myself of.

The
guy’s voice started telling me there was nothing I could confess that would
make him love me less. That he’d stand by me. That if I was mad I should get
mad and not hold it all inside, and that I should talk to him.

“Emily…”
I breathed - the words almost getting stuck in the slurry of regret pooling in
my throat.

“Don’t,”
she interrupted, staring up at me and placing her finger over my lips. “I don’t
need any promises from you. I just want you to know,
that’s
exactly how I feel. This song could’ve been written for us.
I will
always
stand by you, even in
your darkest hour. You hearing what I’m saying, Dex? I will follow you down
whatever path you end up taking… If it’s the wrong one, I will fight to the
death to drag you back. I’m not saying your fear of losing me is the
only
reason you’ve struggled to talk to
me in the past, but I’m telling you now I don’t want it to be a reason at all.”

“I’m
in awe of you, you know that?” I shook my head from side to side, unable to
believe this incredible woman was really mine… or that I deserved her to be. “I
can’t wait to spend the future with you.”

“I
feel ex- Oh my God!” Emily sprang to her feet, almost snapping my dick in the
process before running like a cheetah on crack to the bedroom.

“Doll
what the hell hap- oh. Fuck.” Aunt Sarah was standing in the doorway with one
hand supporting a bag of groceries and the other covering her eyes.

“You
know I’m always happy to see you, honey… just maybe not so
much
of you, huh?”

Shit.

“Sorry,
sweet cheeks,” I said, catapulting from the couch and covering my dick with one
of the furry purple cushions from the floor.
Hmmm… tickles
. I walked backwards towards the bedrooms, passing
Emily who was now wearing a pink robe on my way past. She looked adorably
mortified with her cheeks clashing terribly with her hair. I couldn’t help
chuckle which made her shoot me the filthiest glare I’ve ever seen another
human possess.

“Sarah
I’m so sorry,” I heard her say, sounding delectably flustered.

Realizing
I’d left my clothes in a crumpled heap on the living room floor when I entered
the bedroom, I started rummaging through the boxes of stuff with my name on
until I came across a pair of black jeans. I threw them on quickly and darted
straight back to Emily.

When
I stepped back into the living room Aunt Sarah opened her arms out wide and I
strolled over to her, locking myself into a tight hug.

“You
made it then,” she said, patting me back.

“You
knew he was coming?” Emily interrupted.

“As
in coming home for the night?” Aunt Sarah teased. “Guilty as charged,” she
added, releasing me so she could hold her hands up in the air. “As in what I
came home to. Well no, I wasn’t expecti-”

“Yeah
we get it,” I said, rolling my eyes. Ugh. It should be illegal for people Aunt
Sarah’s age to make sexual references.

“Go
and sit on the couch and I’ll brew up,” Emily offered, literally squirming with
embarrassment.

“I
think I’d rather take the chair.” Aunt Sarah winked at Emily and when she bit
down so hard on her bottom lip it turned white, I actually started to feel a
little sorry for her. Watching the heat crawl up her neck and onto her face, I
gave her a gentle pat on the back but still, an immature grin remained etched
onto my face. You’ve not forgotten the fact I have a mental age of a twelve
year old sometimes have you?

After
kissing Emily’s forehead I left her making coffee and took up a spot on the
couch. Wow. I was left feeling a little breathless as I took in the magnificent
view surrounding me. My family. My beautiful, amazing, unconditionally
supportive family. Right now, in that very moment… my world was perfect.
Complete.

I
was happy.

The
rest of the afternoon was perfect. We ordered Chinese food for dinner, watched
a shit load of crap TV shows Emily had gotten herself addicted to on Netflix
and laughed until we quite literally cried. We threw serious out the window for
a night. There was enough of the heavy shit during my therapy sessions.

It
was almost time to head to bed (which neither myself or Percy could wait for)
when Aunt Sarah’s cell started singing in the background. Rolling her eyes and
groaning because she was being forced to move from her comfy chair, she ambled
over to the kitchen worktop to get it.

Emily
was sprawled across my lap with her soft red curls flicked over my knee. I
smoothed out the soft strands with my fingers, never taking my gaze from her
baby-blue eyes. We sat in silence just staring at each other like freakin’
idiots and while Aunt Sarah wasn’t looking I arched my crotch into the back of
her head, making her aware of just how much I couldn’t wait to get her to bed.
Then she swatted my arm and gave me a firm tut, cocking her head towards Sarah.

“Well
that’s not very hospitable of you. Percy is offended.”

“The
walls are too thin in this tiny place,” she whispered.

“I can
be quiet,” I assured her with a wink. “You on the other hand…” Yep, that earned
me another swat. Chuckling at how adorable her pissed face was, my eyes
wandered to Aunt Sarah who was still on the phone. It was only then I noticed
how rigid her back was and that she was whispering.

“What’s
wrong?” Emily asked as I gently lifted her from my knee so I could stand up. I
covered my mouth with my index finger and let out a discreet shh sound. Emily
sat on the edge of the couch and I tiptoed over to Aunt Sarah. “Dex!” Emily
scolded so softly I barely heard her. I didn’t think I was in the wrong. I bet
you want to know as much as I did who was causing Aunt Sarah to appear so
tense.

“…not
tonight. Can it not wait another few days? Okay, okay… I don’t know… No, I’m
not budging on that one… he needs a few days to process this… yes… I guess we
will.”

Aunt
Sarah snapped her phone closed and after dragging in a heavy breath she turned
around and almost shit her pants when she bumped straight into me.

“Who
was that?”

“Go
and sit down. I need to talk to you.” Shit. I didn’t like the sound of that. I
guess I was hoping she would at least
try
to hide the truth from me. Was I ready to deal with any more crap right
now?

Seemed
I was about to find out.

“It
was my father wasn’t it?” I said, pacing the living room, feeling too agitated
to sit down. It had to have been him. Only
he
has the power to make the blood drain from her face.

“No.
It was his wife, Patricia.”
And what the
fuck does
she
want?

“And
what the fuck does
she
want?” I
mirrored my internal thoughts.

“Please
sit down, Dex. You’re making me nervous,” Emily asked gently. Nodding, I sat
down next to her, taking her hand. I could do this. I could be strong for her.

“She’ll
be here in twenty minutes. There’s something she wants to tell us apparently.”

“Like
what?” Emily asked before I had chance. Aunt Sarah shrugged in response.

“She
wouldn’t say. But Dexter…” she trailed off, her face crumpling as if she was
deep in thought – as if she was trying to find the right words to use.

“You
need to know if I can handle it,” I finished for her, feeling that bane of damn
guilt again. “You need to know I’m not gonna flip my shit if she’s got bad
news.” Emily’s fingers wrapped themselves a little tighter around mine. I guess
this was what tonight was all about huh? Facing the real world. Granted, I
expected a few days sabbatical before the shit started refilling the pool that
is my life, but hey… no time like the present right? “I’ll be fine,” I assured
the two most important women in my life. “I’ve got this. I promise you.”

“You
can be honest with us, honey. We won’t think any less of you, you know that
right?”

“Of
course I do,” I answered sincerely. I have taken these two beautiful women to
hell and back these last few months, yet here they were, sitting with me
– one with my hand in hers and the other patting my knee. I think it’s
about time I started believing that they will have my back. Always.

“You’ve
not been discharged yet. I don’t want to risk unsettling the progress you’ve
made.”

“Please,
Aunt Sarah… I know I haven’t earned the right to ask you for this yet, but
trust
me. I can do this. I know I’ve
gotten clean before in the past, but this time it’s so much
more
than that. It feels different. I
think
different. And… it wasn’t until I
sobered up I realized I’ve got a hell of a lot more to lose this time.” My eyes
instinctively roamed to Emily’s face and my taut mouth melted into a smile when
I caught her blushing and chewing her lip. “I’ve started that list Jeff’s always
droning on about,” I admitted.

“You
have?” Emily practically gasped. “What have you put?”

“I’ll
show you when it’s finished. But until then… well I just wanna make sure
everything on it feels right, and achievable I suppose. I mean it, girls… I’m
taking this real seriously. I’m determined to accomplish every single thing
I’ve listed on the damn thing.”

I
guess I can share with you guys because I trust you won’t tell anyone. Well,
number 4 is ‘If you want to run, breathe, count down from ten and picture Emily’s
face’. Yeah I know, makes me sound like a giant pussy doesn’t it? And don’t
worry, they’re not
all
so long
winded. Most are just a word or two.

One
of my biggest flaws (if you don’t count my penchant for illegal substances of
course) is running. I haven’t got much to offer Emily, but if she’s so
determined to stand by me, the least I can do is offer her the same in return.

“I’m
so proud of you,” Emily praised with the softest of smiles and a few glittering
bubbles of tears balancing on her lower eyelids.

“We
both are,” Aunt Sarah concurred.

“Right,
girls. I’m gonna take a piss… make sure my dick’s still there. I swear all this
Kumbaya shit is making it shrink.” The girls giggled and I doubt you’ll be
surprised to hear that Emily rolled her eyes at me. Then, I headed to the
bathroom, stared into the eyes of the man I was slowly starting to recognize
again, and counted to ten.

**********

Holy
motherfucking shit. I recognized her the second my eyes landed on her face. The
lieutenant. The woman whose duty it was to punish for me what I did wrong and
prevent Aunt Sarah having to give up her entire life to stay by my side while I
repeatedly dragged her into the darkness. The woman… who chose to hand over a
shit load of power and leverage to one of the most brutally twisted fuckers
I’ve ever met.

“Patricia,”
I greeted with an intentional scowl. She offered her hand to me and my
instincts wanted to spit on the damn thing. But then I saw the faint hint of a
yellowing bruise tainting her jaw and realized how much of a heartless bastard
it would make me if I did.

“Can
I get you a drink?” Emily asked attentively. Personally, I just wanted her to
spit out whatever she had to say and leave.

“No.
Thank you. I’m not staying long,” Patricia replied.
Thank fuck for that.
“I just came to tell you that Kevin has left…”

“Who
the hell is Kevin?” I interrupted.

“That’s
your father’s new name,” Aunt Sarah explained. Just thinking about him made a
painful knot swell deep inside my stomach. “He’s left? What does that mean?”

“It
means I presented him with every scrap of evidence I’ve kept hidden for all
these years - everything he thought I’d destroyed. I showed him the case files
I held on the money lenders after his blood as proof I knew exactly how to
contact them and that I wouldn’t hesitate to do so if he didn’t give me what I
wanted.”

“And
what
do
you want?” I pressed.