Hold Your Breath 01 - Stone Devil Duke (22 page)

Her palm flattened on her scar, and she started to run it up and down the length of her forearm. “They grabbed me, the two of them.
It was the leader and that first one I killed in London. They jerked me off the street and dragged me down an alley. Hands over my mouth. My eyes. They pulled me into a building, a room. It was dark and empty. Dirt floor. The last light of day shining through slivers in the wall. One of them shoved a rag into my mouth—wretched filth—filling it, and they pushed me against the wall.”

Her head tilted up slightly, but her eyes stayed closed.
“I tried. I tried so hard to get free. And then the one I killed pulled me off the wall and slammed me back into it. Punched me. It crushed my air and I could not breathe, and the rag was deep in my throat, choking me. He held me, shoved onto the wall, and when I looked up, the leader was coming at me with a scalpel.”

“Aggs—”

She shook her head, holding her hand up to stop him. Devin closed his mouth.

“He grabbed my wrist, pulling it straight up over my head, pinning it to the wall, and then he yanked up.
My toes could not touch the ground, so I dangled. He pressed the scalpel into my skin at the wrist, slicing deep until he hit bone. No air, I could not even scream. He twisted the blade in me and then asked me—and it was such a polite asking, like he was not even carving my skin—where the paper was. All I could do was shake my head. I still don’t know what he was talking about. So he twisted the blade and ripped it further down my skin.”

Her hand on the scar rubbed faster, like she was trying to remove pain that had just resurfaced. “
Then he asked me again. I had no answer. He sliced down. Further and slower. Twisting. He asked. No answer. And further down with the blade. By the time the scalpel got to my elbow, I could not even hear him. All I could hear was the pain in my head. Feel the blood that had flowed through my dress to pool along my neck. But then he started yelling. At me, and then he was yelling at the other man. He dropped my arm, and my feet hit ground, and that was when I kneed the other man in the crotch. He crumpled, and it gave me just enough time. I ran. I got out. I do not know how I did it. I got out the door and to the street.”

Tears were dropping fully onto
Devin’s hands on her thighs, but Aggie’s eyes remained closed. “That was when I understood the depth of the trouble I was in. And I had to somehow get out of it, even if I understood none of it. That is how I know exactly what he looks like. And that was when the dreams started. Scalpels deep in my body. My father murdered time and again in front of me. That is why I wake up screaming.”

Devin
forced the rage in his chest to stay there. That they had done this to her. When he found the leader he was going to rip him limb from limb.

God. What he had done to her.

The hell he himself had put her through—he had set Christianson on her with a scalpel, and she had to watch it. It made him sick what he had made her suffer. And for what? His own damn irrational fear?

Devin
moved one of his hands behind Aggie’s head, gripping her tightly. “Aggs, I am so sorry about Doctor Christianson. I did not know. I would have knocked you out myself had I known.”

She tilted her head
further up, opening her eyes at him. “It was not your fault. You did not know what I went through.”

“I sho
uld have by your screaming.” Both of his hands went to her cheeks, wiping away the wetness. Then his fingers moved down to her left arm. Her right hand tightened over the scar, so Devin gently wedged his fingers under her palm. Her right hand fell limply into her lap.

He lifted her arm, silent as his thumb followed the raised line, slowly from wrist to elbow, taking in every curve, every bump of the past.
He brought the start of the scar on her wrist to his lips for the softest kiss as he looked at her. “I cannot take away the past, Aggs. But God help me, as long as I am with you, I will do everything in my power to banish those dreams.”

Aggie rubbed her eyes with the base of her palm. “I do
not want to have to depend on you for this. I do not want to burden you. I should be able to control myself. It is just that I have not been this well-rested since my father was killed. It is like I can breathe again. Walk around normally without fighting the cloud in my brain.”

“So then you let me continue to help.
Accepting me does not make you weak.”

She nodded, eyes half-shuttered.

“You do realize this could have made all the difference in trying to find the leader earlier. That they are after something they think you have. Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I am sorry. It is too hard. What he did to me.
I am damaged.” Her voice cracked. “And I never wanted you to see me damaged.”

She closed her eyes and too
k a quivering breath. Steadied, she opened her eyes to Devin, voice again in control. “So I cannot think of it. Not when I have to keep moving. And I don’t know what he wants. What he thinks I have. If I let my mind go there, to what happened, I become nothing. And I cannot protect anyone if I am nothing.”

Devin
set her arm gently in her lap and cradled her chin. “You understand it is all of you I want, Aggs. All of you, whatever scars may be.”

Aggie closed her eyes, exhaling held breath.

His hands went to either side of her face. “Good. Then we will never talk of it again.”

“
Devin, where—” Aggie grunted from hitting her sidesaddle hard as her horse flew over a stump. “Where are we going?”

Her tongue smacked at the dust she had just sucked in
, trying to get the earthy taste out of her mouth. Umph. Another hard jolt. This was ridiculous. “Devin—where?”

Devin
looked back and flashed a smile, just as he had done repeatedly over the past hour. She knew he did it to make sure she was keeping up. So smug. She glowered at his back. Him riding high on his enormous black stallion, while she had to hang back in his dust trail because her mare was too skittish around his mount.

He had been
irritatingly ambiguous all morning long about their destination. He told her they were to see more of the grounds. That was it. He had even woken her up early and had lunch packed and the horses readied by the time she had completed her morning ablutions.

“
Devin.” She tried to elevate her voice to a pitch he couldn’t ignore. “When are we going to get there?”

The ass. He didn’t even turn
around. Aggie gritted her teeth. Save for this morning, the last several weeks had been heaven. Her shoulder was healing quickly, and Devin near-doted on her, spending the days showing her about the extensive grounds of Stonewell.

But she still reckoned with
the mystery of his childhood. For all the time he spent on the tales of his ancestral home, he continued to be evasive about his childhood. Irksome, for it was a clear reneging on the deal they had made on the trip to Stonewell.

“Damn
.” Aggie muttered as her left hand slipped on the reins. Her legs clamped hard to the pommels as she tightened her grip with her right hand, easing her left hand back up the leather. Her shoulder wound still made her left arm weak, especially noticeable on this strenuous ride through the northern woods of the estate.

Nice one
-month anniversary. Devin probably didn’t even realize it had been one month since they were married. To celebrate, she got stuck tasting his trail dirt and being ignored.

Deep in
to the thick woods, he pulled up on his stallion, stopping in the middle of the main trail, and turned his horse back to her. Aggie looked around as her horse slowed, confused, until she noticed an almost imperceivable path turning off to the right. Her curiosity tripled.

“
Devin, for the last time, tell me where we are going.”

He laughed. “Careful, my duchess
, you are beginning to play the role of the nagging wife.”

“Pur
ely a reaction to your unbearable dismissiveness.” She smiled sweetly at him.

His smile didn’t w
aver, and he pointed at the nonexistent trail. “We veer here, and the path is complicated by twists and turns. I am not sure what condition it is in further on, so you will need to stay close to me.”

“You know very well my horse is not keen on getting close to your beast,”
Aggie said at his back, but master and horse were already widening the absent path as they dove into the woods.

It took another hour before
Devin stopped in a small clearing, and Aggie was grateful. Again and again she almost lost Devin and the trail around a sharp curve, or veered off into an opening that looked like it should be a path, but wasn’t. It was a good thing his horse’s noise matched its size.

Devin
’s feet hit the forest floor. “We are here—I was not sure I could find it as easily as that.”

Aggie took his hand to dismount. “
That was easy?”

She lo
oked down at her riding outfit as she slid off her horse, a beautiful concoction of multiple blues layered over each other, with a fine cut train and a sleek line that pushed up and accentuated her breasts in the best possible fashion. It was now a disaster. The overgrown forest had shredded the delicate fabric, and her skin ached with the multiple scratches.

“And where is here?”
Aggie scanned the tall trees surrounding them, and then her eyes settled on Devin.

Enthusiasm poured
from him, and Aggie’s annoyance evaporated. Wherever they were, Devin’s grin indicated it was important. Aggie looked around once more, seeing only shrubbery and trees.

“Ready?” H
e grabbed her hand, leading her around the horses.

“Maybe?” Aggie nodded
her head quizzically. Her husband seemed to be nearing insanity.

“Bend down.”
At a wall of shrubbery, Devin stepped in front of her and leaned forward, thrusting his hands deep into the branches. Arms disappearing into the twigs, he grunted as he fought the greenery, parting it. A small opening appeared.

“Go on
, go through,” Devin said.

Aggie
leaned down and peeked through the opening. She turned to look at him, her nose almost touching his.

“Just go. Your outfit is already ruined.
” Devin laughed. “Trust me.”

Her eyes lowered to his still-bright smile, and Aggie swallowed a sigh and went to her knees, crawling
through the small hole he had made.

Awe hit her the second her head popped out the other side of the hole.
Through the bushes, Aggie stood up with mouth agape, dumbstruck.

What surrounded her could only be des
cribed as perfection. The thick shrubbery she crawled through stood more than a story tall, in a complete, exacting circle around her. Behind it, a ring of ancient oaks thrust toward the sky. But for some odd reason, the majestic oaks didn’t branch inward to cover the circle she stood in. Instead, the only thing she saw above was clear blue sky and sun-rays shining down. The width of the circle was about four horses’ lengths, and luscious green grass, long and mounded over, covered the ground.

A small, oddly perfect, utopia
.

Aggie tilted her head to the sky, closing her eyes and letting the sun warm her cheeks.

Hands slipped around her waist from behind, and she smiled, leaning into Devin.

“You are forgiven,” she said.

“I did not know I needed to be.” He nuzzled his cheek onto Aggie’s. “What did I do?”

“Drag me out here. Did you not hear me swearing at you the entire time?”

He chuckled. “I did not realize that was directed at me. Or maybe I did, but was choosing to ignore it. Besides, I like it when you swear at me. It usually means I am doing something incredibly sinful to your body. ”

“Wanton scoundrel
.” She turned her head and nipped his neck, laughing, then set her head on his shoulder, eyes taking in the paradise. “This is utterly exquisite. And bizarre. How does it grow like this? Does someone maintain it?”

“No. I have no idea why it grows like this. It just does. I stumbled upon it when I was little, and it has been like this since I knew of it. You have been
pestering me about my childhood.” His hand swept around them. “So here it is. I spent as much time as possible here in the Circle.”

“
The Circle? That is what you named it? Your creativity astounds me.”

He squeezed her waist, producing a squeal. “I was six
when I named it.”

“It is
a functional name, I will give you that. But do not think I will leave naming our children up to you.”

“What? I am much more creative now.”

“Really?” Aggie spun in his hold and mock held two imaginary babies, lowering her voice in imitation of Devin. “This one shall be called ‘boy,’ and this one shall be called ‘second boy.’”

Devin
rolled his eyes, then pulled Aggie back into him. “Boys you say?”

“
I do. But let us not forget about ‘first girl’ and ‘second girl’ as well.”

His fingers went along her neck, creating goose bumps as he cupped the back of her head. “You give me those children, Aggs, and I will gladly leave all the naming up to you.”

Aggie’s breath caught hard at his words, at the glint in his grey eyes. The only thing that steadied her was her hands gripping his arms. Was it possible he wanted that as much as she had come to realize that she did? Children. This life. This man. Everything.

“No.” He took a decided step away from her. “Before you give me that
shameless look, there is more to the Circle, and you are not going to sidetrack me.”

The core of her already pulsating, she reluctantly let her hands fall from him. “Fine. But what else could you possible need here? This is perfect just as it is.”

“Except when it rains.”

Aggie looked around, puzzled.
All she saw were fat shrubs and towering trees.

“Over here.”
Devin took her hand and led her over to the far side of the Circle. “Right here, look,” he said, pointing straight ahead.

Perplexed, her eyebrows raised
. “I see a shrub.”

“Exactly. That is what you are supposed to see.”
Devin bent down and shoved his arm right into the middle of the greenery.

“Not again.
”

“Aga
in. But a little cleaner this time.” Devin dug around in the thick branches, finding something, and he pushed his arm upward. Near Aggie’s feet, an opening appeared in the greenery, just big enough to crawl through.

“Go on in.”
Devin stood and nudged Aggie.

Sh
e looked at him, amazed wonder on her face, then down at the hole, and then back up again at Devin.

“Go on
—I don’t think it will collapse on you.”

“You don’t think?”
Aggie wrenched an eyebrow at him, then went to her hands and knees and scooted through the opening. Devin followed.

St
anding up, Aggie’s eyes adjusted from the brightness of the Circle, to the darkness surrounding her. Then she started to laugh. She was in a tiny cabin. Three walls were made of logs—as was the ceiling, and judging by the tweets, a number of birds had taken up residence in the crannies.

T
he fourth wall was the shrubbery they had just passed through, and it let shreds of light into the room. Dark wood planks made the floor and an upside down drawbridge had created the hole they just went through.

Aggie walked across the room to
a small bookcase overflowing with books. Some looked like they had weathered well, others looked fragile. A desk was next to it with a neat stack of paper, and a lantern and matches on it. Even covered with years of dust and dirt, everything was neat and orderly.

Aggie turned to her husband.
“Devin, this is fantastic. How long has it been since you were here?”

“I must have been about eleven
the last time I was here.” A fond smile full of memories danced on Devin’s lips.

“Wh
o built it?”

Devin
walked about the cabin, inspecting treasures long forgotten, his large form swallowing up the small space. “I did, with Thompson’s help.”

“Thompson helped?”

“Yes, but not like you are thinking. I stumbled upon the Circle after getting lost trailing my father when he was hunting. I was searching for home, but then I found the clearing and realized I had found something better than home.”

Devin
went to a side wall and began to crank a round lever. Aggie watched in amazement as the ceiling started to rise and golden rays of light began to peer in. “And that is why the trail here was so complicated—I marked my path when I left that first day, but I was a lost six-year old, so the trail is quite contorted. And then I was always afraid of losing the trail to the Circle if I tried a more direct route. So I never did. Once I knew the trail well enough, I added the branches off the path to sidetrack anyone on it. I was going to be the only one that knew about the Circle.”

“W
ere your parents very worried when you finally got home that first day?”

Devin
’s face flushed dark for a moment, then he turned from her to secure the lever in place with a latch. Aggie immediately regretted her question.

“No, as a matter of fact. They had both retired to their separate quarters by the time I returned.” He picked up a book from the desk an
d gently blew the dust off it. “Thompson and several of the staff were the only ones out looking for me. And did I ever get a scolding from him when he got back to the house. I was sleeping soundly by then. Thompson came banging into my room, scaring me silly, because he looked a mess and his usual composure was gone. It was one of the few times I ever remember Thompson being openly angry with me.”

“Thompson, angry? I do not believe it. He is a pussycat.”

“To you, maybe. I don’t know how you did it, but you have charmed the haughty nose right off of him. With me he has never hesitated to let me know when he is displeased with me. But that time when I was lost…” Devin shook his head. “That time really got to him.”

Aggie smiled, watching
Devin clean off books of his youth. “So when did he help you build this?”