Holding a Tender Heart (6 page)

He nodded and turned and walked down the street. He gave a brief backward glance but kept moving.

Five

T
he following afternoon Verna Beiler stood in the kitchen tapping her fingers on the table. Outside, the late-Sunday-afternoon sunlight flooded the yard. Shadows danced across the kitchen sink as the branches of the old oak moved in the gentle breeze.
Why does Lois have to ruin everything?
Verna wondered. Handsome Joe Weaver had taken Verna aside at the youth gathering and asked if he could bring her home tonight. Her first decent offer from a man in a long time, and it came at the same time Lois was creating a
kafuffle
about attending
Englisha
college like Debbie Watson had done. Yesterday when she'd come home from Debbie's graduation, Lois couldn't stop beaming and going on and on about her plans to “make something of herself.”

After that scene,
Daett
wouldn't be in any mood to hear Verna out. But at twenty-four, wasn't she old enough to make some of these decisions on her own?
Daett
kept too close a watch on his daughters, Verna told herself. She'd thought this for some time but hadn't dared say so. She knew his strictness was in part because he was the bishop for their community. If he wasn't, then he might not care about appearances as much.

Daett
couldn't help that he was a bishop. He hadn't chosen his station in life. The responsibility had been thrust on him by
Da
Hah
's will, expressed all those years ago by the sacred lot. Neither must she hold ill will against the community when they expected their bishop's daughters to hold a higher standard than everyone else.

The problem was
Daett
went well above and beyond that standard. At least that's what her rebellious side whispered to her.
Mamm
reminded her often of the dangers of rebellion. That was why both she and Ida had stayed away from anything radical during their
rumspringa
and had quickly joined the church afterward. Lois hadn't done anything radical so far either. But neither had she joined the church. And she probably never would if her words about going to an
Englisha
college were any indication. But she shouldn't care so much about what Lois might do. Verna had her own life to live, and
Mamm
encouraged all her girls to seek having a heart that was submissive and graced with inner beauty. At least Lois was trying to heed those lessons even with her admiration for fancy
Englisha
ways.

So Verna worked hard to remember the words her
mamm
had spoken to warn her. She especially tried in the times when
Daett
had made her turn down another request of courtship from a man. This had been especially hard when Evert Stoltzfus asked last year for the privilege of driving her home from the Sunday night hymn singing.
He'd consider her consent a great privilege
, Evert had said. Her heart had beat faster at the very sound of such fancy words. How could it be that handsome Evert Stoltzfus considered it a privilege to have her in his buggy?

She should have said
yah
on the spot. Instead, she'd stood speechless, finally managing the words, “I'll have to ask
Daett
.”

From the look on his face, Evert hadn't liked that answer. Nor had he liked what
Daett
had told her. “You'd better wait a while on that one, Verna. Tell him
nee
—for now.”

With
Daett
it was always “wait.” He had a cautious approach to life, enforced on him, no doubt, because he had to lead the community through many difficult spiritual decisions. But Evert had no plans to wait. She could tell at the following youth gathering by
how he frowned when she told him her answer. Though to
Daett
's credit, his evaluation of Evert's character had proven correct. The young man had left the community for the
Englisha
world not two months later.

It was
Daett
's only clear victory. All the others—two boys who had asked before Evert (one of which she would have turned down herself)—had gone on to date other Amish girls. Mose Yoder—the one she wouldn't have turned down—would be married in this fall's wedding season if the rumors in the community were correct. And she might have been the one who stood beside Mose on his wedding day if
Daett
had been able to overcome his fears.

And
Daett
did the same thing to Ida. He'd turned down two boys already. Thankfully, both of them were boys Ida didn't particularly care for.

Lois, on the other hand, had received no offers so far even though she was twenty-one. Whether this came from
Daett
's reputation or from Lois's own choosing, one couldn't be certain. With what the people of the community expected from them as the bishop's daughters, Lois didn't do anything to help her cause by blabbing all the time about her admiration of the
Englisha
world.

Last night, though, had been the worst yet. Never had Lois spoken so outright about her plans to take action. Hopefully her feelings would blow over before long and nothing would become of this. Verna and Ida certainly didn't need a sister who had jumped the fence to add to their already difficult reputations. If Lois did something wild like that, they might never find suitable husbands—and already the field was getting quite thin.

Not many men were left who hadn't either chosen girlfriends or were well on their way to saying their marriage vows. In fact, Joe Weaver wouldn't have asked Verna home if his girlfriend, Rosy—whom he'd dated for two years—hadn't broken off their relationship a month or so ago. Because of this, Joe's request had come as a total surprise. Verna hadn't even noticed him make eyes at her at
the Sunday meetings. But then neither had she paid much attention, which only confirmed that her heart had been given over to despair that the right man would ever come along. At least someone
Daett
would approve of. So what exactly could
Daett
have against Joe Weaver? He lived north of the district, and he was the second boy in his family. The Weavers had been farmers for generations, and his family had a decent reputation. Joe was even
gut
friends with the handsome and loud-mouthed Paul Wagler, whose reputation no one doubted—at least when it came to whether he was a decent Amish man.

Surely
Daett
could find nothing wrong with Joe Weaver. And so when Joe asked her last Sunday, Verna had said
yah
on the spot. For this man she would put up a fight if necessary. And perhaps
Mamm
would give her support—if it came to that. But now she had to tell
Daett
, and her courage failed her. Verna thought back over the week and figured she should have approached
Daett
at once. But how did she know Lois would have her meltdown last night?

Verna turned toward the kitchen sink just as Ida walked in. She took a look at Verna and said, “You're still troubled over Lois, aren't you?”

“Why? Has she been saying anything more?”

“
Nee
, and I hope it's blown over.”

“So do I,” Verna said and then fell silent.

“So if it's not Lois, then what's really bothering you?” Ida asked.

Ida saw right through her, but that was Ida—always caring. “Oh, it's nothing really.”

“You can't fool me. Now come. You should tell me.” Ida pulled out a chair and motioned for Verna to sit.

Verna did so with a sigh. “Joe Weaver asked me home last week, and I said
yah
.”

Ida's eyes grew large. “Did
Daett
agree to this?”

“I haven't told him yet.”

Ida's eyes grew even bigger thinking of another
kafuffle
ahead.
Still, it might not happen. She whispered, “There's nothing wrong with Joe.”

“That's what I keep telling myself. But I still can't bring myself to face
Daett
.”

Ida glanced toward the living room where both of their parents relaxed in their rockers,
Mamm
reading
The Budget
and
Daett
deep into his Sunday-afternoon nap.

Ida's face lit up with inspiration. “I know! Let's make popcorn and squeeze fresh oranges.”

Verna clasped her hands together. “Why didn't I think of that? You're so wise, Ida.”

Ida basked for a moment in the praise before she crept down the stairs to the basement. Verna had the popcorn popper warm by the time Ida came back with her arms full of ripe oranges.

Thankfully,
Mamm
had ordered their stock replenished only this week from the bulk food store in Mifflinburg. They didn't always keep the expensive treat around, but it would be put to
gut
use this afternoon, Verna decided.
Daett
must be brought to see the wisdom of allowing Joe Weaver's attention for her.

Ida squeezed oranges at the table while Verna twirled the popcorn lever. Soon the sound of popcorn popping filled the kitchen. Some of the kernels spilled onto the floor when Verna jerked off the cover. The prepared bowl caught most of the rest. She would sweep later. Right now she was so nervous it was a wonder the whole popper-full hadn't ended up on the floor.

Ida smiled her sympathy from across the room.

Verna returned the smile. Her sister was a jewel. Why didn't someone ask Ida home on Sunday nights? Someday surely some nice Amish boy would notice her. But right now Verna needed to be concerned about her own future. Oh, what if
Daett
said
nee
about Joe Weaver? There would be an awful fight inside of her—she just knew it. How much would come out, she didn't know. She had yet to be pushed to such an extreme.

Ida poured the orange juice into tall glasses, and Verna filled individual serving bowls until they almost overflowed with popcorn. They glanced at each other for a moment before they headed into the living room.

Mamm
looked up. “I thought I heard something in the kitchen. Are we in for a treat this afternoon?”

Verna didn't say anything.
Mamm
might think this an innocent gesture, but it wasn't. And, in fact, from the look that crept across
Mamm
's face, perhaps she already understood.

Daett
's face beamed though. He boomed, “Oh! Now this wasn't necessary, girls!” But he took the popcorn eagerly enough.

Ida made sure a tall glass of orange juice was within his reach. With a quick sideways glance at Verna, she retreated into the kitchen.

Verna wished Ida had stayed, but perhaps she'd best face this on her own. She sat down on the couch and cleared her throat.
Daett
was already reaching for his weekly copy of
The Budget
when she began to speak. “I have something I have to tell you,
Daett.
Well, both of you, really.”

Daett
's bowl of popcorn teetered a moment in his lap. “
Yah
, Verna? Are you still troubled about Lois last night? I suppose I was a little too upset myself, but
Da Hah
has given me assurance that Lois will see the error of her ways. If we pray…”

Verna cleared her throat again. “It's not about Lois,
Daett
. It's about me. Joe Weaver has asked if he can bring me home tonight, and I told him
yah
.”

“You told him what?”
Daett
's hand clutched his popcorn bowl. He turned to Saloma. “Do you know anything about this,
Mamm
?”

Mamm
shook her head. “Verna has told me nothing. But please think about this before you say anything, Adam.”

Daett
didn't wait even a second. “I will have no heartbroken man bringing my daughter home. I don't believe in my girls playing second to anyone.”

Daett
keeps an amazingly
gut
tab on what all the unmarried men
do,
Verna thought. It was one of the inconveniences of a talk like this. As bishop, he always knew every fault and discrepancy that lay within any suitor's character.