Holding Her Breath (Indigo) (28 page)

She yawned. She’d slept the whole way there, but it still hadn’t been enough.

“You awake over there?” he said.

“Not really.” She climbed out and shut the door after her.

Erika and Ethan got out of his jeep. Erika jogged over to them. She hugged her fleece jacket close to her body. Ethan followed. Rob careened into the parking lot and skidded his car to a halt next to Ethan’s jeep. Delaney got out and slammed the door. She looked a little wobbly, a little grim.

“C’mon.” Rob laughed. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“This is why I like to drive,” she said.

“It’s not my fault that really slow guy cut me off right before we got on a two-lane road,” Rob said. “I had to catch up with these guys.”

“No.” Delaney threw him a look of death. “You didn’t.”

Whitney turned back to the SUV to help Chace unload their equipment. He’d wanted to take her on an overnight camping trip to help her get her mind off what had happened with her eval. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell him that she probably wouldn’t make partner, but she’d told him the rest. He wanted to help. And she did feel better being out of the city, away and with people she cared about. She smiled at Chace as she hoisted her backpack onto her shoulders.

He slung his camera bag around his neck. “What?” He grinned.

“Nothing.”

He strapped on his pack and grabbed a hibachi grill with one hand and a small cooler with the other. She closed the rear door on his truck.

“Let me help you with some of that stuff.”

“Nope,” he said.

“No really, let me just—”

“We gotta hurry or we’ll miss the sunrise.” He nodded in the direction of the trail, and the five of them started down it with their gear.

She pulled her light jacket closer to her body as she walked down the path. It was windy and chilly out, but not too bad. The crisp, cool air felt good against her face, actually. She breathed in deeply. Their footsteps crunched over the gravel path as they made their way up the mountain to the lookout point that Chace had marked on a map earlier that morning. GPS didn’t work so well in the mountains.

They made it just as the sky was lightening from dull grays to real colors. The peach-red glow rose over the valley as they watched. Chace put down their gear and snapped some pictures.

After setting his camera down, he put his arms around her.

“Was it worth getting up so early?” he said before kissing her cheek.

She smiled. The trees were still dark with shadows as the first rays of the sunrise hit them. “Yes. It’s beautiful here.” Peaceful, too. She felt lighter than she had in days. “Thank you.”

He squeezed her more tightly to him.

* * *

They made camp and had breakfast once they were done watching the sunrise. Then Whitney went down to look at the river. She regretted it as soon as she got close enough to hear the raging water. Chace must have followed her because he walked up next to her as soon as she stopped moving.

She looked down at the frothing rapids. The white caps on them were a little intimidating. “You sure it’s safe?”

Chace laughed and put his hands on her shoulders. “Yeah. I do this all the time.”

“Huh. You do lots of things I wouldn’t even think about trying all the time.”

“Don’t worry.” He kissed her cheek before hugging her from behind. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

She smiled and sank into his arms. She knew. And there was a warmth and security that came with that knowledge that she’d always wanted. “Let’s go back and get ready.”

After lunch, Chace, Rob, and Ethan got the kayaks and everything else they would need ready. The group headed down to the river. Whitney hung back with Erika, watching the guys toss life vests and paddles around.

When they’d gotten everything ready, Chace jogged over to where she stood with Erika. “You ready?”

“Yeah. Let’s do this.” She turned to Erika. “You said this was fun, right?”

Erika nodded. “I only did it once—with the trainers I hired. It was a team-building thing. We had a good time.”

“I’m trusting you.” She turned back and looked up at Chace. “And you.”

“You’re in good hands. No lie,” he said. He asked Ethan for a life jacket and Ethan tossed one over to him. He held the vest out for her, and she put her arms through the arm holes. He then fastened the straps on it.

“Where’s yours?” she said, looking around.

“That’s the last one. I guess we miscounted.”

“You need one, too. You can’t just get in like that.” She glanced at the churning water.

He shrugged. “I’ve done this hundreds of times. I’ll be fine.”

“Have you ever done it without a vest?”

“I promise not to die.”

She laughed. “Okay, if you promise.”

He grinned, kissed the tip of her nose, and then jogged over to Ethan, calling out a question that had to do with some kayaking term she’d never heard before.

She murmured to Erika, “Kayaks don’t really…roll over, do they?” She shuddered, thinking of something she’d read on her BlackBerry before she’d fallen asleep in the SUV earlier.

Erika squeezed her shoulder and said with a grin in her tone, “Only if you want them to.”

“Great,” Whitney said, staring down at the turbulent water again.

Erika laughed and tugged at her hand. “It’ll be fun.”

She sure hoped so.

* * *

Once they were done with the river and back at the campsite, Whitney sat by the fire Ethan and Chace had started with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She’d really had a great time. Chace had been right. Being out there had been kind of exhilarating, and she definitely hadn’t thought about the firm at all while she’d been tucked into a kayak with Chace, out on the rapids.

Chace had hiked down to the cars to get something. Some of the others were napping. Ethan came out of his tent and sat next to her.

“You know, I never really thought he’d get over Kelly this quickly, but it seems he has,” Ethan said. “He’s really crazy about you.”

“You think so?” Whitney smiled, remembering how sure and solid Chace had felt behind her in the kayak earlier. She’d felt so safe in there with him. That was saying a lot, considering how formidable kayaking the rapids had seemed before they got out there. Chace had been so capable and confident the whole time.

Ethan nodded. “I’ve known him for a long time. Trust me.”

Whitney stared at the bright orange and yellow flames, listened to the crackle of the wood.

“He’s like a brother to me. I want to see him with someone who makes him happy.” He rubbed his hands together and held them out toward the fire. “You seem to do that.”

“I care about him. A lot.” Her heart jumped a little after admitting that. It was true, but she hadn’t said it aloud to anybody. Not to Erika or Rob. Not even to Chace—not really.

“Yeah. I can tell. I’m glad.”

“You think he still cares about Kelly?” She turned to him. “You’d know. You’re his best friend.”

Ethan swallowed hard and kept his eyes on his hands. “I think you have nothing to worry about when it comes to her.” He turned and looked directly at her. “I mean that.”

He seemed so desperate for her to believe him. Hopefully, it was just concern for Chace that made him seem that way.

* * *

That night Whitney and Chace lay next to each other in their sleeping bags. He turned on his side and propped his head up with his hand so that he could look down at her.

“Did you have a good time today?” he asked.

“Great time,” she said, reaching for his hand. He gave it. She pulled it to her chest and interlocked their fingers. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “You’ve been kind of quiet this evening.” She’d noticed him arguing with Ethan earlier. Ever since then, he hadn’t said much.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Everything okay?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“You sure?”

He leaned close and kissed her neck. “It’s gonna get cold tonight.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. And I don’t think you want to be in there all alone when it does.” He unzipped her sleeping bag.

“What are you doing?”

“We should share our sleeping bags with each other.” He climbed out of his sleeping bag.

“There are people right outside.”

He chuckled. “They aren’t ‘right outside.’ Besides, the tent’s not see-through.” He reached under her shirt, touching her bare skin. She shivered with pleasure.

“I guess you’re right about that.” She let him slip her shirt over her head.

“I’m definitely right about that.” He rubbed his thumb over the fabric of her bra, teasing her nipples.

She moaned and moved closer to him.

“This is all I’ve been thinking about all day,” he said.

“But you still haven’t told me…oh. That feels good,” she said. He slid her pants down her legs and pulled her panties aside. Then, after pushing his own pants down, he was inside of her, pushing hard against her. She needed him, and he seemed to sense that, going harder and deeper until she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out for him. Hoping he would never stop, she dug her fingernails into his shoulders, grabbed the fabric of his T-shirt in her fists.

His breathing was ragged in her ear. She wrapped her legs around him, wanting to pull him as close as possible to her. In that moment, she forgot about everything except for the fact that she had to have him.

Whitney had a great weekend in the mountains, but the week following was a rocky one. Of course, there was the disaster of having to work with Kim after that horrible eval. Her mom was embroiled in drama with Aunt Cheryl. Apparently Jo needed some plumbing work done in the guest bathroom, and Aunt Cheryl’s boyfriend was a handyman. Jo didn’t want him to do it, and that was causing trouble between Jo and Aunt Cheryl.

Thank goodness the work week was over because it had been a particularly heinous one. She’d noticed several subtle but unmistakable snubs from partners who’d generally been friendly to her before. She was one of the few senior associates going for partner who hadn’t been invited to the Nationals game that afternoon, for one thing. And there’d been other things, too—missing lunch invites, meetings she found out about after the fact, and cold shoulders. Plus, Kim always had a discouraging word for her.

She hoped Chace would be there when she got home. He spent more time at her place than he did at his lately. Seeing him was getting to be the only bright spot in her life, even though Kim’s words about not having time for relationships constantly nagged at the back of her mind.

With heavy steps matching her morose thoughts, she trudged home from the metro stop.

When she opened the front door, she spied Chace in the kitchen. He was making chicken salad out of leftover rotisserie chicken she’d brought home the night before.

“Thank goodness you’re here,” Whitney said, going straight into the kitchen without even taking off her coat and wrapping her arms around him.

“Hey, you okay?” He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.

“I just had a crappy day. Week. Everything.” Whitney murmured her words into his shirt, breathing in deeply the scent of his cologne mixed with that of the spices and herbs that still hung in the air.

“I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing her back through the coat.

She reached up and kissed him fiercely. She led him to the living room without ever separating their lips. She tossed her coat aside and pulled him down to the couch with her.

“I need you so much. When I’m with you, nothing else matters. And I need that,” Whitney whispered, holding him close. He kissed her. She deepened the kiss, hungry for him. She pushed him back on the couch and pressed her body to his.

He caressed her neck and then the tops of her shoulders, but his mouth remained on hers. She pressed her body to his, needing to feel how much he wanted her.

She pulled back a little. She traced his lips with her fingers, letting them migrate across his jaw line, back to his ears. He was always there for her. He was always what she needed. She thought back to the past weekend in the mountains. To what she’d shared with Chace and to what Ethan had told her. She couldn’t hold herself back from saying it any longer and wondered why she’d done so for so long in the first place. “I love you, Chace. So much.”

Chace’s Adam’s apple worked wildly in his throat, and a panicked look grew in his eyes. For one horrible moment, she thought she’d said the wrong thing. Then he said, “I love you, too.”

She kissed him, and he didn’t kiss back as fully as he had earlier. “Is something wrong?” She smoothed his hair back from his temple with her finger as she spoke.

Chace sat up and pulled her onto his lap. He gave her a troubled look. “I have something to tell you. I should have told you a long time ago.” He put his arm around her waist, but he averted his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t. But after what you just said…it can’t wait any longer.”