Holding Her Breath (Indigo) (29 page)

Whitney tried to get off his lap, but he tightened his hold on her. Panic swept over her. She couldn’t take more disappointment that day. She was at maximum capacity. He was scaring her. “What is it?”

Chace took her hands in his. “Kelly’s pregnant. And it might be mine.”

Whitney pulled her hands from his. “What?”

“She got pregnant before we broke up. She was—with both of us during that time. I didn’t know about him. We were having unprotected sex. She was supposed to be on the pill.” He took a deep breath and relaxed his hold on her waist. “She told me right after New Year’s. I was afraid that if I told you then, it would scare you off.”

“That was my decision to make.” Whitney got off the couch and started pacing the living room. “She’s—she’s pregnant? You’ve known for two
months
? And you didn’t say one word to me?” She wanted to scream, but she repressed the urge. “Not one word.”

“She goes to the doctor next week. She’s gonna have a test so we know whose it is.” Chace ran his hands through his hair.

“And you were going to tell me when? Were you just going to show up one day at my door, bouncing a baby on your hip and say, ‘surprise, I’m a father?’ ” She’d almost risked everything for him. What a fool she’d been.

“I was looking for a way to tell you, but nothing ever seemed right.”

“Well, hiding it from me sure wasn’t.” She walked across the room. “Why would you do this?”

“None of this changes how I feel about you.”

“How do you know how you’ll feel once that baby’s born if it’s yours? How do you know you won’t want to be a happy family?”

“See? This is what I wanted to avoid.” He jumped up from the couch. “Kelly and I are done, and I knew you’d start this dumb stuff about me supposedly having leftover feelings for her.”

“It’s not dumb. You were together for—”

“Two years. Yes. I know. Do you know how often you say that? I should start keeping count.” He laughed bitterly. “That doesn’t matter. I only want to be with you.”

“You still shouldn’t have hidden this. You should have let me make the decision.”

“And risk losing you forever over some idea you’ve concocted in your head that has absolutely no basis in reality?”

“It was selfish of you to decide what I should know and what I shouldn’t.”

“And it’s selfish of you to always put your job first. That job comes before everything in life for you. Including me or—well—anyone else. Besides, you’re short-sighted when it comes to Kelly. Maybe if you ever listened instead of assuming you know every thought I’m going to have before I have it, I wouldn’t have been so hesitant to tell you.”

“So now it’s my fault?”

“I’m just saying you should listen to somebody besides yourself sometimes.”

What right did he have to judge her? “Get out. I don’t want you or your babies or your lies. Any of it.” She held the door open and pointed into the hallway.

“You know I’m right. That’s why you’re so pissed.” Chace grabbed his camera bag and coat as he spoke.

“I know you’re an ass.” She slammed the door after him.

She refused to feel bad about it. She’d almost ruined her life because of him. Now she knew the right decision to make. He was no longer clouding her judgment.

She had to work harder. Of course she wanted to be a partner. Her job was what mattered. That and the people who depended on her. Not some lying, stupid man who didn’t even live in the real world.

She couldn’t stay there. She couldn’t stand the sight of her condo. Plus, if she wanted to get back in Kim’s good graces, she had a lot of work to do.

She gathered her things, including a pillow for the cot she kept in her office and a change of clothes. She would shower at her firm’s gym. She would get in a good workout, too. Between that and pulling an all-nighter, she should feel much closer to her old self and have a much better outlook on life soon.

Kelly asked Chace to go with her to the doctor. She didn’t want to go alone. Even Amy didn’t know—no one knew except her, the doctor, and Chace. And of course she couldn’t ask Hank. At first, Chace had said no. But after his blow-up with Whitney, he decided he might as well.

It would probably be kind of cruel to let Kelly go through that alone anyway. She really had seemed scared the few times he talked to her on the phone. And he guessed he was scared, too. At least they could be scared together. Plus, he had to get his DNA to the doctor somehow. It seemed stupid to make a separate trip down there just to do that.

They met in Richmond, since that was where her doctor was. He parked, checked in with the nurse, and sat tensely next to her until he was called back to give his DNA sample.

The waiting room was drab, full of browns and grays. Two other women were there. One wore a hoodie and the hood kept her face from view. The other one was obviously pregnant and she kept yelling at her two kids to calm down. They ignored her and wreaked havoc in the waiting room instead.

After getting his cheek swabbed, Chace went back into the waiting room and sat next to Kelly. She was wringing her hands in her lap. She wore a loose-fitting sweater and baggy jeans. He’d never seen her in anything that wasn’t slim-fitting and designer. It was kind of jarring.

“So, what have you been telling him? He’s had to notice by now,” Chace said.

Kelly shrugged. “That it’s winter weight and I need to get my butt back in the gym. I’ve been faking my period. Now that we live together, it’s an issue, I guess. I don’t know if he pays attention to such things, but just in case.”

“So how are you going to explain it if you are? Surprise, I’m not fat, I’m pregnant? Just kidding?”

“I mean, I’ll just tell him I didn’t know I was, I guess. I’ll worry about that later,” Kelly said, rubbing her hand over her chin. “Right now, I just want to get through taking the test.” She looked tired. Faded.

Chace sighed, pressing his hands to his eyes.

“And what did you tell your girlfriend about you being here?” Kelly asked. She sounded a little bitter when she said the word “girlfriend.”

“She doesn’t know. She doesn’t care. We broke up. Happy?”

Kelly put her hand on his knee. “Despite what you want to believe about me, Chace, I really do want you to be happy. You deserve it.”

Sure she did. He grumbled a reply. Luckily, the nurse called them back at that moment, and he didn’t have to worry about her pestering him for a real response. The doctor was very nice. He explained the test to them before performing it. Chace held Kelly’s hand when he inserted the needle, because she’d always hated those.

Afterwards Chace took her to McDonalds, which she’d always hated before but now claimed to crave. She devoured more food than he’d ever seen her eat in her life while he watched, sipping on a cup of coffee. He’d mostly lost his appetite ever since his fight with Whitney.

Kelly looked at him after polishing off her third Big N’ Tasty. “It’s pretty late. And it’s cold and raining and you look exhausted. I don’t think you should drive back to D.C. tonight.”

He hunched over and finished his coffee with one long gulp. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

Kelly gave him a look similar to the one she’d given her meal a little while ago. “We could get a room together. I could go back to River Run tomorrow.”

Chace raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think that’d be a good idea. In fact, I think it’d be a really, really bad one.”

“We wouldn’t have to do anything. Unless you wanted to. You know, for old time’s sake. I just want to spend some time with you. I miss you.” She touched his arm.

He moved out of her range and slipped out of the booth, getting to his feet. “Uh, no. That’s not going to happen.”

“Don’t you miss me?”

“Not like that, I don’t. You made your decision. In retrospect, it’s probably the best one for both of us.”

“Nobody’ll have to know. I mean, you broke up with her anyway.”

“That’s not the point. Besides, you’re still in a relationship. And anyway, that’s not the point. That part of our relationship? Over.” Chace put extra emphasis on both syllables of the last word he spoke.

“We might have a baby together. You can’t get rid of me completely.”

“I explained to you already that, if it’s mine, the baby is the one and only link I have with you.”

“But we were so good together.” She pouted.

“Key word being ‘were.’ ”

“So you’re going to stay all alone at a motel tonight?”

“No. I’m going to Ethan’s.”

“Ethan.” She rolled her eyes.

“Yes, Ethan. My friend.” He saw why Ethan had never liked Kelly. He began to wonder if she had ever made a move on his best friend. She was quite the poly-amorous type, apparently. Or maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. Either way, he had to get away from her.

“Well, fine. I guess I’ll let you know when I get the results,” Kelly said, glaring at him.

“Okay.” He grabbed his jacket from the booth and shrugged it on.

“I hope it’s Hank’s so I never have to see you again, you asshole.”

“Me, too.”

“Why are you so hateful, Chace?”

Chace snorted, toying with his keys. “I’m the hateful one?”

“You’re going to regret turning me down. Probably as soon as you get in that car.”

“There’s nothing that could make me regret turning you down. Trust me. The thought of us together is revolting to me now.”

“Screw you!” She stomped off to her car without giving him a chance to respond. He walked over to his own car. Kelly being angry at him didn’t matter. Whitney being angry at him, however, was different. No matter who had been in the right and who in the wrong, it was devastating.

He drove to Ethan’s and parked on the street in front of his building. He sat in the car and waited for Ethan to get home. When he saw a guy with black hair wearing a corduroy jacket jump out of a beat-up Jeep Wrangler with a battered canvas cover, he got out of his car and walked over to the jeep. He clapped a hand on Ethan’s back.

“Hey, man. How you been?”

“Chace.” Ethan grinned and slapped his back. “Where did you even come from? Aren’t you supposed to be in D.C.?”

“Long story.” They headed for the front door of Ethan’s building. Chace blew onto his gloveless hands and rubbed them together. “I came down to see Kelly. We did the paternity test.”

“Well?”

“What?”

“Is it yours?” Ethan opened the door, and they walked into the building.

“We won’t know for a couple weeks, man. You can’t just get the results for these things instantaneously. It’s not like peeing on a stick, you know.”

“Well, you should have called, dude,” he said as they jogged up the stairs. “You’re lucky I’m here. I’m leaving for Mexico in a few days, and I would have hated to miss you. You know I’m a traveling man.”

“You didn’t say anything about that the other day,” Chace said.

“That’s because I just got the assignment.”

Ethan unlocked the door to his apartment and pushed it open. As usual, it looked like a war zone. Clothes and takeout cartons were strewn everywhere. Ethan’s parrot, Polly, greeted them. The name might have seemed unoriginal, but it was better than those of Ethan’s first three birds—Parrot, Parrot the Sequel, and Parrot the Third. Needless to say, Ethan wasn’t much into naming things.

“Hey, Polly,” Chace said to the bird.

“Man, that thing is so lame. She’s just old and blind and mean now. I think I’m getting a cockatiel next. Or a cockatoo. Or something else, you know, not lame.”

He laughed. “You’re being too hard on Polly.” Chace turned back to the bird. “Isn’t he?”

“Asshole,” Polly said.

“Ethan. Please don’t tell me that’s the only word she knows.”

Ethan snorted. “One of, like, three. I tried to teach her more. She refuses to learn. I told you she’s mean.”

“Right,” Chace said. He walked over to the couch and cleared a space to sit. He blew a breath straight up, temporarily lifting his hair from his forehead. “So. I screwed up. Big.”

“Yeah?” Ethan was sorting through an array of takeout menus that he kept on his kitchen counter as he spoke.

“Whitney and I broke up.”

Ethan stopped sorting. “What, really?”

Chace nodded. “I finally told her about Kelly. And everything fell apart, as I was afraid it would. She accused me of keeping something from her she had a right to know. I told her she was selfish. The next thing I knew, I was on my way out of the door.”

“You try to talk to her since?”

“I’m pretty sure she hates me.” Chace mumbled the words through his fingers since he had his hands pressed to his face.

“Ah, Chace. You’re so good at getting yourself into huge messes and just kind of enjoying drowning in them. I wish I could say I’m surprised.”

“Hey. This one isn’t entirely my fault. She was wrong, too. I told you. She could be impossible sometimes. It’s hard to come between her and that job.”

“But obviously, she’s worth the work to you.”