Hollywood Ever After (22 page)

His fingers continued to trace my mouth, his eyes mesmerized by their movement. He lifted his hand, taking mine in his. “Claire, I’d like Meg to issue a statement about our relationship.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s an element of secrecy to us. I’d like to change that, for the two of us to go public.” His eyes were searching again.

“Public?”

A very slow smile spread across his face, leaving me at a loss. “Claire, I want you.”

“You have me.” I held his hand to my face. “I’m here.”

“And I know I should be happy with that. I’m selfish, remember? I want more.”

“What does
more
mean?” My chest felt heavy.

“I want you to be mine. Not just here, when we’re alone. But in front of everyone.” He was serious.

“It’s not just me, you know.”

“Your children are wonderful. I like them very much.”

“But your career. Your family. How is your making a statement about us being involved a good thing? I mean, I’m older than you. I have some baggage…okay,
lots
of baggage. I’m kind of a PR nightmare for your image.”

Josh tried not to, but he laughed anyway. “You’re worried about my image?”

I took a deep breath. “A bit, yes.”

“You’re worried about press, my image, and my family’s opinion. But not about us—you and me?”

I stared at him, trying to find the right words. “When I’m with you, it seems clear. Everything feels right and good.” He kissed me quickly, holding me tight. “But then the rest of the world enters the picture and nothing about this makes any sense. I think issuing a statement will only tip the scales in favor of us not making sense.”

He tilted my chin up so that I was meeting his eyes again. “I love you. There hasn’t been an hour in every day since we’ve met when you haven’t been in my head and in my heart. I know without a doubt that what I want, my future, is right here.” His hands tightened around mine, his brow furrowing. “I understand that until you know what you want, we should be more careful in front of the children. It’s difficult because I already feel…connected to them, too.” His eyes were searching again, intense and anxious.

My heart raced. I tried to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions and words spinning through my head. What he was saying was more than I’d ever thought to hear. And yet I held back. I felt like I had to.

“Josh, most people can’t declare their feelings after such a short time with the absolute certainty with which you do.” My hand squeezed his. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I was scared. How could my loving him be a good thing for
him?
“I’m here, with you, with my children.”

His arm came around me, holding me close to him, his eyes not quite peaceful. I was shaking in his arms, I wasn’t sure why. I knew what he wanted me to say, knew that I wanted to say it. But I was too scared to tell him how I really felt. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t help worrying that I was bad for him.

Chapter Eleven

“So what are we going to do now?” Natalie looked at me as our breakfast was placed on the table.

They’d taken the news of Shannon and Arthur’s midnight departure in stride. After all, it’s hard to argue with such a romantic gesture. And Arthur had felt extremely romantic, whisking Shannon off to a castle in Scotland, just the two of them. I was impressed. I think Shannon was too.

Will grumbled about Arthur deserting him on their dragon quest but was appeased by the arrival of the clotted cream and scones.

“I have some ideas,” I said.

Voices began at once, each one louder and faster than the other. I smiled and Mom shook her head. She spoke loudly, quieting the kids, “I’d like to go see Maureen. She’s desperate for us to come. And she so wants to meet the kids. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to take them with me to Brighton.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” She smiled back at me.

“Why is that so hard to believe, Mom? I mean, look at Will. He’s awesome. Everyone wants to meet that.” Natalie leveled a long-suffering stare at her little brother. Will had constructed a wall from the creamer cups and was now arranging the sugar cubes across the top. He had a thick mustache of clotted cream, milk, and jam.

“Will, don’t play with the food, dear.” My mother started putting the sugar back, unfazed.

“Maybe we’re comic relief, Mom.” Natalie eyed Will as he shoved several sugar cubes into his mouth. “Will, if you throw up, it’s your own fault.”

Will shot her an offended look, then swallowed forcefully.

“No more sugar, Will,” I said.

“Claire, we’ll have a nice visit. Besides, I’m sure you’d like some time with Josh. Nat mentioned something about his family cottage in Stratford? Go and explore together.” My mother waited for my nod before she patted my hand and gushed, “I’m so excited. I’ll go give Maureen a call now.” She left the table in search of her phone book.

I sipped my coffee, shaking my head at my imp of a son. “Will,” I gently chided as he tried to shove an entire scone into his mouth.

Will smiled, half of his scone falling into his lap.

Natalie rolled her eyes, ever the blossoming teenager. “Mom, am I seriously related to him?”

“It’s a fact, girlie.” I winked at her. “Deal with it,” I said, repeating her favorite sibling zinger. “While you, mister, need to remember your manners, please,” I said to Will sternly. “We don’t talk with food in our mouth. And you should try not to wear so much of what’s supposed to be breakfast.”

“Yeah, it’d be kind of nice to have a normal, less messy breakfast,” Natalie added.

“It’d be boring without me.” Will smiled, adding more milk to the sticky mustache on his upper lip.

“Um…Peaceful is more like it,” Natalie shot back. Her smile widened at something behind me.

I peeked over my shoulder to see Josh entering the dining room, freshly showered and bright-eyed as he made his way to us. He returned Nat’s smile and winked.

“Mom, he may not be Jake Gyllenhaal, but he’s gorgeous. You know that, right?” Natalie said.

“It’s hard to miss.” I smiled at her.

“Any jam left?” Josh asked as he sat by Will. He laughed at the boy’s jam and cream covered face—and napkin and lap.

I peered into the jam pot. “I’m not sure there is, actually.” I started wiping Will’s face with my napkin. After a thorough rubdown, he was a little less creamy but still exceptionally sticky.

“Good thing I prefer toast.” He reached for two pieces of toast from the toast rack in the center of the table, then the butter. “So what are you lot up to?”

Will took a long swallow of milk and said, “Grams has gone to call her friend.”

“Maureen in Brighton?” He cocked an eyebrow and nibbled his toast.

“Right,” Natalie said.

“That’s a bit of a train ride.” He smiled. “Ever taken a proper train, Will?”

Will nodded, taking a somewhat smaller bite before saying, “There’s a red train at our zoo.”

“That’s not a real train, Will. It’s a kiddie train.” Natalie shook her head, eating some strawberry scone.

“Will, you have food in your mouth. Please swallow before you try to talk.” I smiled. “It is a real train, Nat, just miniature.”

Josh was watching us with an amused smile. “Will you all go to Brighton then?”

I peeked at him over the coffee cup.

“We’re going with Grams. Grams said it was important for a couple to have special time together. Like Uncle Arthur and Aunt Shannon, who are gone now.” Will poked his scone, momentarily crestfallen. “Natalie said you might go to Stratford cottage or something. Is that another hotel?” Will finished his milk, adding to his mustache. “Why do houses here have names?”

Natalie choked on her drink as Josh shot one of his knee-wobbling, lethal smiles my way.

“No, it’s not a hotel. Stratford is the name of a town. But you’re right. The cottage does have a name. It’s Summer House.” He reached for my hand.

I shrugged, asking, “If the offer still stands?”

“Of course,” he said.

There was a slight lull in conversation. Will stared at Josh’s hand wrapped about my own. I started to pull my hand away, but Will smiled up at the two of us.

“Are you going to hold hands a lot while you have your special time?” Will asked.

“If that’s all right with you. I like holding your mum’s hand,” Josh replied, smiling.

Will nodded. “Fine with me.”

I took a large sip of coffee to hide my smile.

“Can Helen come with us?” Natalie asked. “Grams said it was okay, but I didn’t know if she’d want to.”

“You should ask her. She loves Brighton and could show you around. If she doesn’t have to work, that is.” Josh took another bite of toast.

“Work?” Will made his evil troll face, sending Nat into a fit of laughter.

“Can I borrow that face? Brilliant.” Josh laughed too, Will’s natural dramatics catching him off guard.

I felt a tug at my heart. This could be my new family, if I let it. How did I get so lucky? A new set of giggles started as Josh tried to imitate Will’s expression. He almost nailed it. The meal deteriorated as Will and Josh continued to challenge each other with goofy faces, sound-effect noises and imitations. Natalie and I couldn’t eat for fear of choking.

After we left the dining room, Josh took the kids “for an explore” in the park and let me pack.

“Are you sure you’re up for it?” I asked as Will grabbed his hand and began to drag him from the dining room.

He smiled. “We’ll be fine. Pack so we can leave.”

Natalie waved and took Will’s other hand while I headed up to the hotel room. Mom was done packing her things and had begun to fill Natalie’s bags. I helped, going from room to room to collect all the bits and bobs that had been left throughout.

“Do you remember Brighton?” my mother asked as we worked.

I shook my head. “Not really. A little of the pier…and meeting a cute boy there.”

My mother shook her head. “You were Nat’s age when we went. I’m excited. And the kids will love it.”

“Are you sure you want them to go with you?”

“Absolutely.” She paused and cast an assessing gaze my way. “I can’t tell what’s going through your head, sweetie, but you’re welcome to come with us to Brighton. Maureen would love that.” She watched me. “If you don’t want to go with Josh, I mean. Are you doubting things with him? It’s happening kind of quickly, you know.”

“That’s not the problem, Mom. I want to be with him.”
Too much.

I zipped up the kids’ suitcases, relieved when she didn’t say anything more. The suite was almost tidy when the door to the suite opened.

“Holy cow!” Natalie squealed as she entered the hotel suite. Will was scowling. He walked straight to me and hugged my knees.

“What happened?” I asked.

Josh walked in. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see them until they were snapping pictures.”

“Them?” I asked, smoothing Will’s hair back.

“Photographers.” Natalie sat with a sigh. “Really rude photographers.”

Will looked up at me, tears in his eyes. “Josh asked them to give us some space, but one got right in my face and took a picture. And they kept asking me questions over and over. Real loud.”

“That doesn’t sound like fun,” I murmured, hunching over to rub his back and drop kisses on his head. “I’m sorry they upset you.”

Josh tossed his sunglasses and hat onto the chair and dropped to his knees before Will. “I’m sorry, Will. That was my fault. I should have been more aware of our surroundings. I’m not used to having to look out for anyone but me yet.” He glanced back and forth between Natalie and Will, sincerely concerned.

“You didn’t do it, Josh. It was those…those…
dorks
.” Will spoke with as much anger as his five-year-old self could muster.

Josh smiled slightly. His voice was edged with frustration. “They were indeed.”

“It’s a good thing I didn’t have my light saber,” Will added.

“Actually, I’d have enjoyed that.” Josh still sounded unsettled.

“I guess that’s what happens when you’re a celebrity.” Natalie said. She was watching me, her face concerned. “It’s okay, Mom. It wasn’t a big deal, really. They were loud and it scared Will a little bit.”

Mom entered the room, pulling a suitcase behind her.

“Grams, we were attacked by these horrible dorky men!” Will announced. “And Josh would have let me light saber them if I’d had my light saber. But I didn’t.” He recovered quickly.

My mother’s eyebrows arched. “Oh?”

“Photographers,” Natalie explained. “I guess that was our first brush with paparazzi.”

Josh stood. He dragged a hand through his hair, sending it every which way, before it fell to his side. His hands fisted and he wouldn’t look at me.

“You can tell me all about it on the train, Will, every little detail.” My mother was amused.

Natalie sat forward, her blue eyes growing wide. “Oh my gosh. Does this mean I’m going to be in the paper?” she asked, staring at Josh.

He sighed, nodding his head. “It’s possible.”

She hopped up and ran to the tall gilt mirror over the entry table and surveyed herself. “Okay. I mean, I guess I look decent.”

Josh stared at her in surprise then chuckled. “You look great, Natalie. No worries there.”

She smiled at him. “It’s kind of exciting, you know? I mean, not the jumping out part, but the whole picture in the papers part.”

Josh shook his head.

There was a knock on the door and the bellboy entered. The next few minutes were devoted to making sure nothing was left in the hotel. Will crawled under the beds and chairs, checking every nook and cranny before we took the elevator to the lobby. There was a taxi waiting to take Mom and the kids to Paddington Station and their train.

Will babbled about the sweets trolley the whole ride down. I pleaded with my mother to restrict the sweets trolley purchases to one item per child. She patted my hand and told me not to worry. Which wasn’t the answer I was looking for, but the one I kind of knew to expect.

“I’m afraid there are some photographers out front, Mr. Wiley.” The concierge met us at the elevator doors. “We’ve been able to keep them out so far.”