Hollywood Lies (26 page)

“Yes. We’ll arrive separate and afterward, we’ll go to the party, then leave separately and meet up to come home.”

He sighs against my ear; his body slumps just a little.
 

“I know you’re tired of it.”

“But I love you, so I’ll do this until we don’t have to anymore.”

At the premier, I look down the carpet to see Devon shining in front of the cameras. He is so cool in front of them now. I wish I could be down there with him, holding his hand like he suggested. I watch as Liliana passes him and they share a small smile. Her hand reaches out. Just the tips of her fingers graze his open palm.

It seems like a million flashes go off. It’s a struggle to remember it’s an act and he’ll be in my arms in a few short hours—that he loves me, not Liliana.

“Who are you wearing?”

I turn my attention back to the reporter and remember to smile. “This was designed by my friend, Mic Gutierrez.”

Devon’s mouth is hot against my skin. He is drunk from the premiere party, but I take the affection he gives me. Despite the creeping distance between us, this affection is real and more than what we’ve shared in a while.
 

His hands are all over me as we’re driven through the streets of Los Angeles. The limo switches went as planned, and I’m pretty sure no one is following us.

Devon sucks on my neck hard enough that I know he’ll leave a mark, but I don’t care. The feel of it sends waves of lust right to the core of me. I’m wet and eager to sink down on him. I don’t want much foreplay. The way the slight stubble of his chin brushes against my collarbone is enough. How his hands massage my ass sufficiently readies me for him to come in me.

Devon moves his hands up to pull the straps of my dress down, baring my breasts to him. Very deliberately, he lowers his head and pulls one nipple into his mouth. It’s warm and wet and wonderful. Instinct tells me to press into him, force him to move faster. But something quieter, yet more demanding tells me to savor this, to memorize every sensation of this moment.

There is a slowness to his actions, and I decide not to care if it’s from the alcohol or because he wants to take every second to appreciate the beauty in our connection. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re here together right now.

My fingers in his hair, I grind myself down on him. A small moan escapes me. I tilt his head up and kiss him. It’s the kind of deep kiss that saturates every part of my being. Through it I mean to tell him how much I want him, how much I love him, and how much I miss him.

Devon seems to mirror my feelings about foreplay. He wraps his hands around the back of my thin panties and pulls. There is a sting as the fabric roughs up my delicate skin, but the knowledge I’m only a moment away from true connection, true union with him takes it away.

Despite my desire to relish the moment, to drag it out, the need to be one with him overpowers the other, so in a flurry of motion, I unzip and untuck him, and stroke him for just a few seconds, then position myself over him. The slide down seems to last forever, and I delight in the sensation of being stretched by his cock. He fits so nicely within me.

My muscles contract around him. His soft breath, laced with want and need, brings my eyes down to his. I’m so happy to see the love, the hope, the unbridled desire in them. “Devon,” I whisper.

He leans up and sucks my chin before engaging my lips in another all-encompassing kiss.

With both hands back on my hips, he rocks me forward, then pushes me back. It’s simple; it’s some of the most basic sex I’ve had in a while, but it reminds me of how sex with Devon isn’t just sex, it’s not just fucking, it’s something more.
 

It’s not about the end result, the orgasm. It’s about the journey, the sensations, the building of tension as we show through our bodies how much we love each other.

The soft layering of emotion and sensation, how we can feel each other’s thoughts and how every touch makes me shiver, brings me closer and closer to him. I never want it to end even though I know the limo will stop and the beauty of this quiet dream will fade.

He presses a kiss into my shoulder and moves my hips faster. “Come, baby,” he whispers.

I let my eyes close and focus on the movements I know bring us both closer and closer to the climax.
 

I love how his noises increase with mine. I love how his breathing is ragged like mine, and how our bodies clutch each other. I love knowing when I feel the intense heat and overwhelming crash of pleasure, he feels the same thing.

I don’t understand the tears in my eyes as I collapse against him. I don’t understand why the special,
real
moment we’ve just shared, feels like a conclusion. I don’t know why I suspect the changing of the tides.

“Cole . . .”

The way he murmurs my name makes my heart flutter, but he doesn’t wrap his arms around me. The question of how long this can last thumps against my chest.

Chapter 11

Devon

It’s been several months and I’ve been all over the world with Liliana promoting this film. Each location gets crazier and crazier. She is awesome at this celebrity stuff and is comfortable in front of the cameras and interviewers. Liliana is fearless, and it is amazing to see her with fans. She is so different from Cole, who can hold her own out in the spotlight, but doesn’t thrive in it.

I haven’t seen Cole in a while. She made the first few stops with us, but after that it’s been just the two of us with a few others sprinkled here and there.

At first the tour was great because no one had seen the movie or knew who Liliana and I were. We got to see the sights, but now things have exploded and we’re stuck in the hotel rooms, surrounded by security. I’m sure it’ll settle down soon. It’s not like this movie is going to change the world or anything. It’s just because all the teens are crazy about it right now. We’ve taken to hanging out in each other’s rooms since there is nothing else to do and no one else to do it with.

“I think tomorrow when we walk, I should be, like, right in front of you and sort of hold my hand back, like I’m reaching for you.” Liliana pauses to sip her Diet Coke through the straw. “It’ll be like I’m subconsciously yearning for you. I bet it makes the news.”

“We should totally do it.” I can’t help but chuckle. She’s actually really good at making the public and media think we’re a secret thing. We were making a game out of the lies, placing bets, but now I know better than to bet against her.
 

The conversation lulls again as I re-read the last few messages sent and received on my cell.
 

I text a message to Cole.
 

Miss u, C. Bed is cold n lonely. <3 hurts w/o u.

Not too long after, my cell buzzes and I see Cole’s response.
 

Miss you too, Dev. Trying to find time to meet you someplace. Where to next?

I text back.
 

Portugal then Italy again.

The texts make the familiar anxiety in my body rise up again. It’s like the apex of a roller coaster; the anticipation of impending thrill. I want to see Cole so badly. Before we separated for this tour, I could barely even get hard because of the stress the traveling and the press and the studio, and when I did, I’d go soft before I could manage to give Cole an orgasm. I wanted her here so I could prove myself. To her. To me.
 

I can now relate a bit more to Cole’s isolationism. I mean, Liliana and I can barely go outside without a million flashbulbs going off. At first, I thought the studio was crazy, that no one was going to care about any relationship I had, but I’ve since been proven wrong. Lili and I are all over the celebrity news, and we’re not even doing anything beyond walking together. It’s all steamed by “insider” sources, who are nothing more than studio people calling up various media outlets and selling them a story.

Lili nudges me with her foot. “Look at you sitting over there with your beer, looking so cool.”

“Look at you sitting over there with your soda, looking all cool.”

“Whatever.” Lili stands up. “Let’s get out of here and go do something.”

“Like what? Go crowd surfing?”

She pulls her jeans down to where they ride on her hips by hooking her thumbs in the belt loops. Her cute little belly button is exposed. My eyes travel up. The scoop neck T-shirt shows off her collarbone and shoulder.
 

“How’s your boyfriend?” I ask out of the blue.

Her forehead creases, but only for a second before she shrugs. “Not really boyfriend-like. We never see each other anymore, and he just got a part in a TV show, so he’s busy all the time. We never seem to be able to talk except for texts.”

I look down at my cell and wish Cole and I could connect more, too.

“Come on.” Lili grabs my wrists and tries to hoist me out of the chair. She is so small she can’t do it, so I help a little.
 

“Seriously,” I say when I’m on my feet. “What are we going to do?”

“Round up our security detail, sneak out, and go see Madrid!”
 

I sigh.
 

“What? Does that interrupt your very pressing obligation to read yet another book? Poor baby. Let’s go.”

My cell buzzes with a message. I only have time to grab it from the arm of the chair before she pulls me toward the door. “Not done with my beer.”

“There’ll be more beer out there.” Lili motions to the window, then stops at the door. She places a hat on my head, then lowers the dark sunglasses over my eyes. “Got your player?”

I nod. “I don’t think I really want to go. I just—”

“Want to hang out in a hotel and not enjoy yourself. I know, I’ve been sitting with you for days and days, and I gotta tell you, Devon, that’s stupid.”

Her frank words force a chuckle from me. She isn’t that much younger than me, but the way she speaks and acts is so freeing—so different than Cole. It’s like no one ever told Liliana there were limits to what she could do, like she has no responsibility or obligation. It’s attractive.
 

I don’t know why I do it, but before she can open the door, I kiss her. She’s much shorter than I am, so I have to bend down to do it. With one hand propping me up against the wall, and the other one resting so very carefully on her hip, I kiss her slow and long. It’s deep and feels meaningful.

My mind is incredibly blank as it happens, but as soon as I pull back, it races, worrying about everything and focusing on the conflict this is going to create. She could smack me. Her boyfriend, no matter how close they are or aren’t right now, could punch me. Cole might knee me in the nuts. Arguments could ensue.
 

“Wow.” Liliana draws out breath. She presses her lips together.

I hold my breath. I don’t release it until she grabs my hand and opens the door.
 

“You get an E for effort for trying to distract me into letting you sit around reading boring books all day, but you’ll have to do better than that.”

Even though I feel guilty as hell, I can’t keep my eyes off her for the rest of the day. All of the sudden, Liliana has become just a little more beautiful, a little more attractive. The memory of the feel of her lips taunts me as we take in the sights of Madrid from the back of the Mercedes Benz.

“Stop the car!” She turns to me with a huge smile. “We have to get out.”

There is no arguing with her. The team of security in the car behind us and the two inside our car get out with us. She grabs my hand again, and we run as fast as we can into the Royal Botanical Garden. Once inside, the men who are here for our protection seem to create a wall between us and everyone else. We’re not allowed to move forward until the area is cleared of everyone.

A few people snap our picture, not because they know who we are, but because our entourage means we’re important somehow.
 

“Oh, my God, it’s so beautiful.” Lili is delighted when the guards move away and she can actually see the plants. We walk the paths slowly, and I have to admit, it’s nice to stretch my legs and take in a bit of the natural world.

The whole time, her hand rests in the crook of my arm, and she creates opportunities to laugh and play. As we pass an elevated statue of a guy in frilly clothing, I stop and ask, “How can you be so happy all the time?”