Read Hollywood Princess Online
Authors: Dana Aynn Levin
Hollywood Princess (46 page)
I didn’t have much of a relationship with Dad’s family. Bob and Frankie, Francine actually, were perfectly nice grandparents. We simply didn’t see them very often. They maintained their home in Framingham, Massachusetts near Aunt Lisa, her husband Bruce, and their three children who lived in Newton.
Aunt Lisa was the Jacobs family princess who stayed near Boston and married a lawyer. Four years older than Dad, she had a PhD in nursing and was the director of her hospital’s addiction rehab center. Uncle Bruce was a partner at a prestige downtown firm. He had the career Frankie and Bob had wanted for Dad.
Despite Dad’s success, his parents weren’t comfortable with either his career path or his movie star wife. Their expectations for me differed from theirs for my cousins too. Josh’s acceptance to Penn was greeted matter-of-factly. The Ivy League was expected. My matriculation at Donnelly was an unanticipated surprise.
Was having a famous mother supposed to have robbed me of brains and academic ambition? I imagined Grandma Frankie’s difficulty as she unexpectedly found herself with an additional grandchild to brag about at Hadassah meetings.
My cousins were very different from Teddy and I. Josh was older than me, Hannah and Justin were younger, and neither was Teddy’s age either. Hannah, though only a year younger than me, might as well have been from another planet.
When Hannah had visited two summers ago, I found being her hostess difficult. Hannah didn’t fit in. She didn’t know how to react when she learned the identities of my friends’ parents. Hannah was a tourist, starring, always on the lookout for celebrities. Of course there were celebrities. They were our friends. Welcome to my life, Hannah.
“Eli,” Danny jarred me from my reverie. “You’re so quiet.”
“I was thinking about my grandparents.”
“Grandma Margie’s great, Eli.”
“I meant Grandma Frankie and Grandpa Bob. I’d like them to meet you, but part of me doesn’t think they care. They’d probably be perfectly content to wait until there’s an engagement party and Dad sends for them. Now if I was my cousin Hannah…”
“Baby, I’m sorry. It must hurt that they play favorites.”
“Only when I think about it. Grandma Frankie and Grandpa Bob are proud of Dad, but our lives are foreign to them. It makes them uncomfortable.”
I returned to starring out the window.
Soon, Danny interrupted my thoughts again.
“Why don’t we visit Boston in the fall? We can stay in a hotel.”
I was touched by Danny’s thoughtfulness.
“Thanks. I’ll think about it. Don’t say anything to Dad,” I cautioned.
Between the weekend with Naomi and now his talk about Boston, sadness overwhelmed me. Danny was leaving in six more days and he had not given me the guarantees I needed. The calendar hung over me like a thick, black thundercloud.
“We’re living together,” Danny told everyone. He took me to his grandmother’s; he wanted to visit mine. Danny gave me $50,000 to spend on our home. Maybe actions speak louder than words. I wasn’t convinced.
The ambiguity was killing me. I wanted the words. Without the words, I would be spending the summer in emotional limbo. I glanced at Danny. His peaceful smile told me he was oblivious to my turmoil.
Sure, I would visit Danny every weekend. That was our plan. But what about the rest of the week? Danny’s assertions that he would have to behave or risk embarrassing Steve did not assuage my fears. I wanted him to behave because he loved me, not because he felt obligated.
I needed the words, but how to tell Danny without sounding like I was issuing an ultimatum. That wasn’t what I wanted.
I continued staring at the passing landscape. Not much could be duller than endless strip malls flashing past at 80 miles per hour.
“E, why the frown?”
Danny startled me back to consciousness. Without noticing, we were now winding our way westbound past the glossy towers of downtown. Traffic had been light. If it kept up, we’d be early for lunch with the moms.
“Why the frown?” Danny repeated. His voice was kind and caring. Did I really look that sad? I hoped not.
“Nothing. Just spacing.”
“I don’t believe you. You haven’t said one word in almost an hour.”
“That long? Neither have you,” I retorted.
“I’ve been concentrating on the road. What’s your excuse?”
“There hasn’t been any traffic to concentrate on. Try again.”
“I was thinking how I woke up on top of the world this morning, but my lady is wearing a frown. If I quietly give her some space maybe she’ll open up and tell me why. But you haven’t, so what is it, baby?”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t want to fight.”
“Did I do something?” Danny asked with concern.
“No, you didn’t do anything,” I answered truthfully.
Fact is, it wasn’t what Danny had done. It was what he hadn’t done.
“Then what?” Danny asked.
“I don’t want to have a fight,” I repeated. “You’re driving.”
“Eli, you can’t say that and not tell me,.”
“Not now,” I said firmly.
“Babe…”
“I want to stop at my house before we go to the club.”
“Your house?”
“Santa Monica. I want to play tennis after lunch and hang out at the pool. I need to pick up clean whites and a dry bathing suit.”
My efforts to change the conversation were transparent, but the longer Danny and I avoided Malibu, the longer I could avoid the conversation.
“Tennis?” Danny was surprised. “Can I borrow a shirt from Mike?”
“Sure,” I said, relieved that Danny was buying into my plan.
“Why hang at the club? I was looking forward to taking you home, babe.”
I was surprised to find tears spilling out of my eyes.
“Because we won’t be able to all summer,” I trembled.
“Is that what this is about? Sunday?” Danny’s tender voice was full of love.
“Sort of,” I admitted and more tears flowed.
Danny took my hand. “Baby, don’t cry. I love you too much to see you so sad.”
Mom was home when Flora opened the front door to let us in.
“Elizabeth! Danny!” Mom exclaimed as we nearly collided at the top of the stairs.
Mom was rushing out, already dressed for lunch.
“It’s so good to see you!” Mom said and she hugged us. “Why are you here?”
“Eli had a sudden craving to be beaten at tennis,” Danny answered and winked.
“I do not intend on being beaten,” I answered and then added, “I need clean whites and a bathing suit.”
“Can I borrow a polo from Mike?”
“Help yourself, Danny.”
“Thanks. While I’m in your closet, can you find out why your daughter is so sad? All she’ll tell me is she doesn’t want to have a fight.”
“Sure, Danny.” Mom shook her head, perplexed. “Whatever.”
“Thanks, Randi.” Danny kissed my cheek and went toward my parents’ room.
Mom followed me into my room and perched herself on my bed. Meanwhile, I rummaged through my walk-in closet, digging in the back for tennis clothes.
“Elizabeth, what’s going on?” Mom asked when I emerged with a tennis dress and a floral Gottex one-piece with a matching pareo. “Danny says you’re sad. Didn’t you have a good time at Naomi’s?”
“You know we did. I’m sure Ellen reported in,” I giggled.
Mom laughed. I was right. “Then, why so sad? Danny’s worried.”
I bit my lower lip to keep my emotions under control. I didn’t know how long I could hold out. Close as I was to my mother, I had never confided in her. Now I hurt because of it.
Mom intimidated me. Had I not feared her judgment, I could have relieved myself of the burden I was carrying. Mom didn’t know the pain Danny had inflicted on me. Otherwise, she would tell me to drop him. Mom would be ashamed of my weakness. At times, I certainly was.
“Is this about Sunday?” Mom asked.
I nodded ‘yes.’ Speaking would bring unwelcomed tears. Now that it was Monday, the specter of Sunday had come crashing down like the proverbial ton of bricks in ways my mother could not imagine. Her husband was Dad, aka Mr. Perfect.
Mom’s soft brown eyes met mine with a ferocity that wouldn’t quit. She gave me the look that said she knew I was hiding something. Mom wouldn’t rest until I spilled.
I turned away, my arms protectively across my chest. Tears flowed. I was shaking. Mom rose from the bed and gathered me in her warm embrace.
“Elizabeth,” she said softly, “What is it, honey?”
Gut-wrenching pain paralyzed me. Mom had gone from opposing me being with Danny to whole-heartedly accepting us in large part because I was so happy. Would Mom consider me a liar when she learned the truth? Until today, I had been happy; Danny was wonderful. There was only one problem, and it killed me to voice it.
“Mommy, I don’t trust Danny,” I sobbed.
Immediately, I regretted my confession.
“Elizabeth, you live with Danny. What do you mean you don’t trust him?” Mom asked, being kind for now, not judgmental. That would come later, I was certain.
“Mostly I trust him. I love Danny, but Mom, I’m afraid he’s going to cheat,” I sobbed.
The tears would not stop. I was trembling. The ugly truth was nearly out. Mom held me close and rubbed my back to provide comfort.
“You’ll be seeing Danny every weekend,” she pointed out.
“I know. But there’s the rest of the week,” I sniffled, tears subsiding.
“Why would you doubt him? Danny loves you.”
“He’s done it before,” I whispered.
“Elizabeth! No!” Mom exclaimed softly. “Are you certain?”
“Yes,” I whimpered so softly I was nearly inaudible.
Mom held me closer. She stroked my hair. Her voice took on a deflated edge. “My heart breaks for you, honey. How do you know?”
“Back in January. I overheard a girl at the library telling a friend. I confronted him then.”
“What did Danny say?”
“It was a short fling. He saw her only once or twice.”
“Elizabeth, you must have been devastated. Why didn’t you call?”
“I was afraid to. You would have told me to break up with him.”
“I would have,” Mom agreed. “And you didn’t want to hear that.”
“No, I didn’t. I called Ellen. She told me about Steve.”
“I’m so sorry, honey,” Mom said, sadly. “I know how much you love Steve.”
I nodded.
“Elizabeth, I’m trying to process this. What did Ellen say?”
“Ellen told me Danny was sorry and to follow my heart.”
“And your heart belongs to Danny.”
I nodded as I answered tearfully. “I love Danny. I love him even more now.”
“Has it happened again?”
“I don’t think so,” I lied. “But Danny’s never promised not to do it again.” I couldn’t reveal my suspicions about Reggie. That would be too humiliating.
“Have you said anything to Danny?”
“Not in a while. I’m afraid. I might not like the answer.”
“Elizabeth, I don’t condone Danny’s behavior. He took your heart and broke off a part of it. I can’t look at him the same way anymore.”
“Mom,” I begged, “Danny can’t know that I told you.”
“Elizabeth, I would never betray your confidence,” Mom promised. “Danny’s behavior was reprehensible, but you say it hasn’t happened again.”
I nodded my confirmation.
“Danny’s a sensitive young man. Hopefully seeing the hurt he inflicted made him realize the enormity of his actions.”
“I hope so.”
“Elizabeth, you were willing to forgive Danny because you loved him. What will make you forget?
“Words. Words will make me forget. I need Danny to promise he will never do anything to hurt me again.”
“Let’s think about this,” Mom suggested. “You’re living together?”
“Yes. We even opened a joint checking account.”
“You did?” Mom was pleasantly surprised and smiled.
“Yes,” I hesitated.
“You just returned from Naomi’s, and I’ve seen you together enough to know how much Danny loves you.”
“What’s your point, Mom?”
“Actions speak louder than words, Elizabeth. Living together, joint bank accounts, visiting grandmothers; men don’t frivolously do these things. Does Danny discuss your future?”
I finally smiled as I thought of how often Danny did.
“Danny talks about when we graduate and how beautiful he thinks I’ll be when I’m pregnant. Danny wants lots of babies.”
“Elizabeth, Danny certainly sounds committed. I wouldn’t worry about it. He probably doesn’t even think about you needing to hear the words at this point. Danny probably thinks telling you he loves you every day is enough.”
