Read Holy Socks And Dirtier Demons Online
Authors: J.A. Kazimer
not warn of the explosive properties of Myrrh?”
To hide my laughter, I poked my head into the babypack to check on
my charge. Bodhi hissed at the intrusion, but the kid just smiled,
unconcerned.
Bob stopped walking. “What’s with him?” He pointed to the angel.
“No sense of humor.” I shook my head sadly. “It’s a curse really. So
where is the car?”
“Beyond those busted up Pintos.” Bob pointed in a far off direction,
above waves of rusted car parts. “If I was you, I’d leave the baby here with
that weird blond dude. It can get hairy back there, and I wouldn’t want
anything to happen…”
Nodding, I unstrapped the babypack and handed it to the angel. “Do
not let the kid out of your sight.”
“I will give your life to keep him safe,” the angel reassured me with a
blank smile.
Great. I motioned for “Bob” to lead the way, and together, we
climbed the rusted metal piles like trained mountaineers. My boots slid
across polished fenders, crunched over broken windshields, and waded
156
through a sea of yellow-foamed seat cushions, finally landing on solid
ground a few yards from Lilith’s prized Gremlin.
The Gremlin looked a little worse for wear, with a broken headlight,
and flat tire, which oddly improved the car’s overall appearance.
“How much to get it out?” I reached into my jeans for a wad of cash
borrowed from Lilith’s cookie jar. It wasn’t like she needed it anymore.
Bob scratched his scraggly beard. “Well there’s the impound fee,
plus towing charge, not to mention the storage fee.” His eyes watched the
cash in my hand.
“I’ll give you two hundred.” I smiled. “Cash. No paperwork, no fuss.
You give me the keys, and I give you the cash.”
“Deal.”
We shook hands, his lizard like one grasped in mine. Seconds later,
Bob passed me the Gremlin’s key. My throat constricted at the sight of it.
Memories of Lilith rose inside my mind, pictures of her wicked smile
and tattooed limbs. Her scent filtered across my senses, exotic tobacco, and
woman.
I swallowed hard, and took the key. It warmed in the palm of my
hand, heating so rapidly the edges burned my skin. Shoving the key into the
ancient ignition, I pumped the gas pedal and pummeled the dashboard.
Bob stared at me, a look of disgust etched in the lines of his face. A
look that said, ”let her go son. She’s way past her prime.”
As much as I might agree, the Gremlin would suit my needs. I
needed a way out of the city, and the Gremlin, flat tire and broken headlight
aside, would carry the kid and me through the Lincoln tunnel and into the
Garden of Evil State. Once inside New Jersey, I’d ditch the angel and shoot
up I-80, disappearing in the cornfields of Iowa.
Maybe I’d buy a farm some place, raise cows or something. The kid
could have a normal life; have friends and a chance to be more than a
sacrifice. I pictured the kid at eighteen, scared and desperate, as his sixteen-
year-old girlfriend says she might be pregnant. Hell, even that would beat
being stapled to a cross for a second time.
I twisted the key and waited for the gurgling engine to catch. Brrrrrr.
Grrrrr. Click. Click. Click.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“Son-of-a-bitch,” I yelled, slamming my fists against the steering
column. I glared at the heavens. “WHY?”
“Sounds like the alternator.” Bob leaned in the Gremlin’s open
window. “Want me to take a look?”
I jerked open the door, causing him to jump back. The hood creaked
as I released the latch. Black, thick oil and grime like a decaying corpse
covered the engine block. Wires stuck out everywhere, and damn if I could
make any sense of it.
Bob had followed me to the engine. He gave a soft whistle. “It looks
157
like rats chewed through your battery cables.” Pulling out a red-coated wire,
he shook his head.
Not rats, hamsters. Angry sky-falling hamsters.
“I can maybe rig it so it’ll start.” Bob shrugged, his giant shoulders
bobbing up and down like the Golden Gate Bridge in an earthquake.
I closed my eyes, and took a Zen-calming breath. It didn’t help.
Fuck. “Do it.” I shoved another hundred dollars at him.
He glanced down at the money and smiled. “You ever hear the one
about the soldier and Saint Peter?”
158
Forty Eight
“Okay boy, you hold that wire tight while I start her up.” Bob nodded
at the red wire clutched in my grease-coated hand.
I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead. “I’m not going to get
fried, right?” As much as I wanted the Gremlin fixed, I couldn’t shake my
distrust of the overly friendly Bob. What kind of mechanic only charged a
hundred bucks?
Bob grinned at me and my perspiration covered sweatshirt. “You got
insurance?”
I shook my head. “The car’s not mine.”
“I meant life insurance, boy.” His booming laughter bounced off the
metal stacks of cars, making my head ache. “Now you hold tight,” he said,
crawling into the driver’s seat of the Gremlin.
A sudden shock of electricity curled around my body. My arms
danced, jerking like an electrocuted toad as the wire dropped from my burnt
fingers. The unattended wire sparked once, twice, and went still.
The Gremlin’s engine followed suit. It jerked once, twice, and with a
sputtering cough died. A slow whistle of steam burped from the radiator, but
that was the extent of its resurrection.
Fuck.
“Damn, I thought we had it.” Bob maneuvered his large frame from
the driver’s seat. “Did you let go of that wire, boy?”
I wiped my tingling hands on my pant leg. “Nope, I held tight just
like you said.” For the most part. “How about we try it one more time?”
“Fine.” Bob raised an eyebrow like he didn’t quite believe me. “But
if I see you let go of that wire, I’m gonna pound ya.”
I grinned. “Why don’t you hold it, and I’ll start her up?”
Instead of answering, he dropped back into the Gremlin and gave me
a thumbs up. I closed my eyes, grabbed the hot wire, and prepared for a few
thousand volts.
Buzz. Zap.
The skin on my fingers melted into the red-coated plastic. Pain
seared from the battery to my brain, every nerve ending sparking with
159
General Electric power.
Bzzzzz. Crack.
The ends of my hair danced high above my head. Electrical sparks
shot from my toes, scorching my black leather boots and the ground beneath
them. My teeth slammed together, crunching under the brutal assault.
Boom!
Fire exploded underneath my hands, and the Gremlin vaporized
before my eyes. Simmering waves of hot air and a violent barrage of Gremlin
parts and Bob epidermis splattered me.
Fuck.
A bomb, I thought, seconds before blackness devoured me.
160
Forty Nine
“What the fuck did you do to my car?” a woman screamed in my
newly restructured eardrums. The blast had scrambled all five of my senses,
and even addled my sixth sense.
I now saw dead people.
And boy did Lilith look angry. Beautiful, but pissed. But appearance
could be deceiving. Or not, I thought as the palm of her hand smacked me in
the back of the head.
“Lilith?” My voice sounded overused, like a teenaged girls favorite
CD. I rubbed away the black soot staining my eyes. Was I dead? Had the
explosion killed me?
“No, stupid.” Lilith chuckled, swiping at her mud covered sleeve.
“You’re not dead, and neither am I. Next time make sure the resurrection
didn’t take before you bury me.” She bent down beside me. “Your pant leg’s
on fire.”
“God, I missed you.” I slapped at the burning denim, and smiled.
Having her next to me felt right, like the world was finally in order. Of
course, I’d just cheated death, so that might have been part of it.
“I missed you too.” She pulled me to my feet, and held me while my
equilibrium caught up with the rest of my body.
My fingertips traced the curve of her neck, feeling the tattooed ink
under the pads of my fingers. The blood rushing in my ears dispersed lower,
filling my thoughts with lustful visions of Lilith naked under me.
Again she read my mind, and pushed my wayward hands away.
“Now’s not the time for a reunion. Someone just blew up my car.”
I weaved back and forth, shaking Bob parts from my ear canal. “And
Bob too.”
“Who’s Bob?”
“That’s Bob.” I pointed to a blackened spot on the ground where
pieces of charred Bob had landed. “He looked better before, but not by
much.”
Lilith shot me a look, anger burned in her eyes. “How can you joke?
You nearly died.”
161
I shrugged. “I’m getting used to it. Bright white light. Sweet smell of
roses. Saint Peter and a harp.” Frowning, I added, “Tell me, when did
Heaven start smelling like a whorehouse?”
Softly Lilith’s hands brushed the battered, broiled skin of my face,
running over the edges with careful grace, or dare I think it, love. “Are you
sure you’re all right?” she asked, biting her lower lip.
No, I wasn’t all right. My dead lover was alive, leaving me with a
thousand questions and a million insecurities. What if our feelings had been a
fluke, a desire to protect the kid that turned into more? What did I really
know about my demon lover?
Smack. Lilith slapped me hard across the back. “Knock it off. We
don’t have time for this. We have to get you into hiding.”
I shook my head, focusing on her words. “Me? It’s the kid they’re
after. They want to use him to create…” I realized my mistake as I said the
words. The less the demonic Lilith knew about the prophecy the safer we’d
all be.
“Jace, I’m sorry.” Tears grew in her yellow eyes. “There’s so much I
have to tell you.”
“Tell me what exactly?”
The stench of sulfur swirled around us, thickening the already burnt
air.
“Later.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me over steel mounds of
automobile corpses, and tractor bones. “I’ll tell you everything later. Please,”
she added, voice breaking on the plea.
I nodded, and followed her across the wreckage of the junkyard.
With each step my need to know the truth receded, replaced with a frantic
desire to find and protect the kid. I broke into a run, leaving Lilith in my
wake.
I rounded a stack of burned out Pintos and stopped dead. On the
ground lay the angel, greenish blood pooling around his serene face. In the
angel’s arms was an empty kidsack. The kid and cat gone.
“Who did this?” I bent down next to the angel, wiping an aqua tear
from his perfect cheek. My eyes scanned the automobile graveyard, seeking
and searching for a target. Someone, anyone to blame, but the truth was
there, reflecting off the rusted metal bumped of a Volkswagen bus. Me. I was
the only one to blame.
I was the angel, Nemamiah. The protector of the innocent. And yet,
I’d lost the most innocent of all, not once, but twice.
Jesus, I sucked at this.
“Nemamiah, grant me one last wish…” the angel said in a choked
whisper. Blood spilled from his pearly pink lips, staining them a muddy
green.
Tire screeched a hundred yards in front of us. A white mini-van spun
around a row of junked cars and into the busy street. In the passenger seat, a
162
bald-headed man with a tattooed wrist held the kid in his muscular arms. The
man grinned at me, a gold tooth shining from his mouth.
Fuck.
I started to run, pushing every ounce of energy through my limbs.
“What about my last request?” the angel called after me.
“Later,” I yelled, continuing after the mini-van.
“Jace, wait!” Lilith screamed, but I ignored her and kept running.
My legs took on a life of their own, muscles straining underneath
battered skin. I hit the street seconds after the mini-van rounded the next
corner.
Don’t fucking lose him, my brain ordered.
Five blocks from the junkyard, the mini-van took a left onto
Broadway. I ran behind, eating up the distance between us in the mid-
afternoon traffic. My appreciation for the city grew. Nobody went anywhere
fast. Unless faced with divine intervention—yeah right—I would not lose the
kid a second time.
A pain in my side formed just below my ribcage. Not intense, more
of a steady burn. The kind of burn marathon runners and escaping criminals
know all about. I shifted my gait to relive the pressure, and barreled ahead.
Even if it killed me, I wouldn’t let the kid down again.
The driver of the mini-van sped up, whipping around the avenue,