Holy Socks And Dirtier Demons (34 page)

cat, and go play in your room. Quietly,” I added with a glance at the sleeping

babies curled in God’s arms.

After some eye rolling and muttered bitching, the kid did as I

ordered. Bodhi cat hissed at me, but followed meekly behind the Messiah.

“I can’t believe how much he’s grown in two months.” My mom

waved at the disappearing kid, bumping my arm and nearly showering

herself in heated liquid. But Joe saved the day, steadying the tray, and my

mom.

“Thanks.” I nodded to Joe, and he nodded back. Setting the tray on

the wobbly coffee table, I passed out cups of cocoa, adding a hefty dose of

whiskey to mine. God raised an eyebrow.

“Fine,” I said, pouring a splash into His mug too.

He smiled at the babies in His arms. “Your daddy’s a wise man.”

The green eyes, God’s green, of the girl-child in His right arm

popped open, and she squirmed before letting out a squeak of displeasure.

Ringlets confined with a tiny pink bow danced around her head as she kicked

her tiny legs. She looked so much like her mother.

“I’ll take her.” I scooped the next ruler of Heaven into my arms, and

kissed her wrinkled forehead. She quieted, but only for a second. Her fingers

groped the air, reaching for her brother, who still lay peacefully in God’s

arms.

“Isn’t that sweet,” my mom gushed. “Little Lily wants her baby

brother.”

Odd was more like it. Whenever the two were separated, Lily cried.

Bubba, on the other hand, paid Lily little mind. He was too interested in his

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next meal. Round in all places Bubba, looked like neither his mother, Mary,

nor me.

I had a sneaking suspicion the baby shared DNA with another bald

headed, round guy. But it didn’t matter. From the moment, I held the bloody,

mucus covered, newly orphaned kid, he’d joined my growing clan. A

sacrifice I had willingly made.

“Mary sends her best,” Hades said, taking a seat on Lilith’s white

cushioned sofa. I nodded my head in acknowledgement. Mary had given me

Bubba, and for that, I forgave her for trying to kill me. On the other hand, I

wasn’t overly sad when Mary had succumbed during childbirth. If anyone

belonged in hell, it was she. However, her recent hellish nuptials to Samuel

were enough to keep me awake at night. Together they were the match made

in hell, literally. I shrugged, they were the Devil's problem now. Let him deal

with her hysterics and Samuel’s thirst for the end of days.

Lily let out a fiery belch, scorching my eyebrows, and shaking me

from my musings. She giggled as I screamed. “Damn it, Lilith. Did you feed

Lily jalapeños again?”

“Damn it, Jace.” Lilith glanced up from decorating the kid’s birthday

cake, frosting streaked her cheek, and cake batter stuck like glue in her hair.

“You made me mess up the cake. Happy Birthday, Jesup,” Lilith read the

blue frosted text.

I laughed, scooping up the frosted P, and smearing it on Lilith’s nose,

thankful for every second we had together. At the hospital, I’d thought I’d

lost Lilith forever. Instead, Mary had died. A sacrifice I could live with.

Lily burped again, this time frying the kitchen curtains. Like a pro,

Lilith grabbed the fire extinguisher with one hand, and smacked me in the

back of the head with her other.

The angel, recently paroled from his Heavenly imprisonment,

suddenly appeared in front of the burning curtains. As much of a pain in the

ass as he was, I couldn’t forget the fact he’d saved my life. Many times. Hell,

if he hadn’t fucked up, and brought me the kid, I would’ve put a bullet

through my brain. No more Second Coming. And then where would the

world be? Or me for that matter? Yep, a divine coincidence had saved the

day. I glanced at Our Father, and raised an eyebrow. He winked. Mysterious

ways, my ass.

“I brought the Messiah a birthday gift,” the angel said, and held up a

clear plastic jar labeled, Myrrh.

Whoosh!

The ensuing explosion leveled the kitchen, sending birthday cake

flying. I shook my head, gazing at my cake splattered first born demon-child.

One part demonic-angel, and one part Son of God. Together, Lilith and I had

created life, and just maybe saved the world.

Third times a charm, right?

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About j. a.

In Ohio during the 1980’s, a young dyslexic kid grew up loving

books. After a few years, j.a. escaped Cleveland and moved to Denver,

CO where j.a. currently lives and writes. For more information about

j.a. kazimer or to read the New Never News fairytale blog visit

http://www.jakazimer.com.

Visit our website for our growing catalogue of quality books.

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