Holy Socks And Dirtier Demons (31 page)

Samuel?”

“You’re right. It’s best if he doesn’t know.” I smiled. Joe had raised

me without question; I’d do the same for Lilith’s child. I’d treat him like my

own son; love him like flesh and blood. Protect him with my life. “Lilith,

I—”

Raised voices in the hallway drown out my words. “I won’t let you

take him again. You can’t. Joe, do something,” My mom screamed seconds

before a loud crash echoed from the hallway. A shout and a rush of crepe

soled nurses shoes followed the noise.

The door swung open.

I blew out a frustrated breath. Every time I opened my mouth to tell

Lilith how I felt, some one interrupted. “God dammit.”

“I missed that. Did you want me to damn something?” asked a long

haired guy, sporting a newly blackened eye.

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Sixty

“Jehovah, why are you here?” Lilith moved in front of me, her hands

covering her inflated stomach. Was she protecting me or hiding her

pregnancy?

Either way, I wasn’t putting up with it. “Lilith, sit down.” I waved to

the chair by my bed. She frowned at me, but did as I asked. Once she sat, I

kicked my legs out of the bed and slowly stood. My thigh muscles quivered,

calves cramping and twitching, but I stayed upright.

God watched my struggles. He stood there like a statue, without

judgment, or assistance. My respect for Him grew. Finally upright, I offered

God my hand, and He took it. His skin surprising warm, and human in mine.

Behind God my stepfather appeared, his face a violent shade of red,

eyes burning with hate and fear. Before I had a chance to stop Joe, he jumped

on the Lord’s back.

“Don’t touch him,” Joe yelled, punching God in the head. “Take me.

Leave my son alone.”

I stepped away, as Joe pummeled the Heavenly Father. God did not

fight back, instead He accepted every blow. Finally, Joe’s punches slowed,

weakening due to age or sanity, but still filled with rage.

Tears dripped from Joe’s eyes. It was the third time I’d seen him cry.

The first two times had been at my brothers’ births. Too young to understand

why the man I idolized was crying, I’d felt shamed instead. Now my heart

swelled knowing the tears he cried were for me.

“Please take me instead,” Joe whispered, climbing off the Lord’s

back. My mom stood in the doorway, tears streaming down her face. Next to

her, a half-foot taller version of the kid jumped up and down. Behind them,

nurses, doctors, and patients crowded the hallway.

“Get out.” I motioned to the rubberneckers, and once Joe calmed

down, they left. My mom and Joe hugged each other, waiting for the wrath of

God. The kid danced around the hospital room talking up a storm. It made

me long for the days of ‘Mine’. God sat in the middle of the floor, eyes

staring at the shiny surface.

“I...” Where to start? I shuffled my way to Joe, and took his bloodied

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hand. Broken knuckles swelled underneath his calloused skin. “I love you,” I

whispered to him. “I never said it before, but you’ve been a wonderful father.

Thank you.” My mother gave a choked sob, and tucked her head into Joe’s

chest.

Joe smiled, a familiar, heart-felt smile. “I love you, too, son.”

“He’s not your son,” God mumbled, not taking his eyes off the

ground.

“What’d you say?” Anger treaded through me. Fuck God, and His

family values. Blood didn’t make family. “At least Joe would never sacrifice

his son. Twice.”

Lilith drew a sharp breath. “No, Jace. Don’t.”

The kid, who’d been running in circles, stopped, lip quivering. Guilt

quickly replaced my anger. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” I said, but

it was little consolation. “It’s complicated. See at one time...”

God held up His hand. “Jesus knows all about it, Jace. You’re the

one still in the dark.”

“What are you talking about?”

To my surprise, it was my mom who answered, “Honey, when I was

nineteen, I met a man—”

“I know the story.” I rolled my eyes. Now was not the time, place, or

people to rehash my conception. Besides, what did I have to do with Jesus? I

was born almost two thousand years after his sacrifice.

“Let your mother finish,” God snapped, but didn’t glance up. Damn,

He took His commandments seriously. What was He going to say when He

found out I did more than covet my neighbor?

I glanced at Lilith, and she shrugged. Fine, it was God’s show after

all. I shuffled back to the bed, and sat.

Mom smiled. “I was a virgin, in the technical sense.” Okay, I

could’ve done without that information. She went on, and it only got worse.

“I met a man named Jerry. He was everything I thought I wanted my first

time. Sweet. Caring. And terribly handsome. And after a wonderful night

together, Jerry and I went our separate ways.”

“And nine months later I was born.” I motioned to myself, half-afraid

of where her tale was going.

“Yes, nine months later you came into my life, like a miracle. I

received a beautiful baby boy, and Joe, the love of my life.” Mom’s eyes

caressed Joe’s wrinkled face. The love between them had only grown over

the years. As quickly as her eyes warmed, they turned icy. “You probably

don’t remember, but when you were three, you had an accident. I wasn’t

paying enough attention. Your baby brother crawled into the street, and you

ran after him. A truck hit you.”

“Mrs. Miller, I’m sure it wasn’t your fault,” Lilith offered. I had a

feeling she was right. Since birth, us kids had better protection than the FBI

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could have provided. Mom had a network of neighborhood informants and

spies that equaled Homeland Security.

“Please, call me Merry,” Mom offered. “After all, we’re family

now.”

“Thank you,” Lilith said, eyes filling with tears. Must be the

hormones. A non-pregnant Lilith had never cried.

Merry gave me a small smile. “I’d like to believe it was—” she

glanced at Jehovah “—God’s will.”

The Lord looked up for the first time since her story began, and He

nodded, a flicker of something in His eyes. Yep, I didn’t like where this was

going at all.

“Jace’s heart stopped.” Mom swallowed hard and glared at God. “He

died in my arms.”

God jumped to His feet. “I gave him back, damn it.”

“You had no right to take my son in the first place.” Joe stepped in

front of my mom, his fists ready for battle.

“He’s
not
your
son
,” God roared.

Great, we were back at square one.

I closed my eyes, and prayed for patience. I wanted all of them to go

away, except for Lilith. I wanted her naked and on her knees.

A small hand touched mine. I opened my eyes, staring at the serene

face of the Messiah. His eyes sparkled, and bald head gleamed. He

whispered, “’Member?”

I shook my head. “Remember what, kid?”

“Mine, don’t be a-scared.”

“Come on, you know me better than that.” I winked at him. “I fear

nothing. Not purple demons or resurrected roaches. Hell, even dirty Messiah

diapers are no match for Mine.”

“Then ’member, Mine.” His finger brushed my forehead, and the

pain in my back vanished. “’Member.”

A swirl of memories filtered through my head. Lilith. The angel.

Mary and Sid. Hades. Samuel. Mom and Joe. Life and death. Love and loss.

God in Heaven. A flickering of something important. A memory of another

time, in another place...

My eyes shot open and I stared into the face of my father..

Our Father, who spent most of His time in Heaven, Jerry be His other

name.

Fuck me.

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Sixty One

I sat in stunned silence for ten minutes, staring at God, as he stared

back with the same green eyes. I gestured around the room. “Out. Everyone.

Out now.”

My mom’s face paled, but she did as I asked, leaning on Joe for

support as they left the room. Lilith was next to leave. She kissed my

forehead, and dragged the kid out of the door. God would have followed, but

I stopped Him. “No, you stay.”

He nodded. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he seemed nervous, which

was ridiculous. What did the Big Man have to fear from a mere mortal?

I pushed myself up from the bed. “Explain to me how you and my

mom...”

The Lord shrugged. “Heaven gets lonely, son.” Lonely? Was He

fucking kidding me? God added, “Your mom, she’s quite a woman. If things

had been different...”

Ee-yew. “Yeah, I’m sure the two of you would’ve made a great

couple, but I’m a little more concerned about what happens now?”

“What do you mean, son?” God’s eyes narrowed, showing off deep

creases. He looked all of His five thousand years.

“Don’t call me that.” My hands curled, but through sheer force of

will, I unclenched them. “What happens to the kid? To me? Are we sacrifices

to show the faithful you care? A means to save your position in Heaven?”

God shuffled to the window. He tapped the glass, much like a kid

gazing into a fishbowl. “Two thousand years ago, I made a mistake. I wanted

to prove my love to the world. Prove myself to be something other than a

vengeful God. A God to fear. And, yes, to prove my rightful place in Heaven.

I allowed Jesus to die on the cross, and it broke my heart.”

Yeah right, that’s why the kid’s here for round two.

“It was his choice, Jace.” God frowned, His reflection glinting off the

window. “Jesus determined his own fate. His sacrifice. Just like when the

time comes you will choose yours.”

~ * ~

“Jace H. Christ,” I whispered for the tenth time in an hour. Lilith sat

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next to me on the bed, stroking my thigh. The rest of my “family” had left at

my insistence, or rather, at my forceful prodding. My threat of no

grandparental contact had sent them scurrying.

“It has a nice ring to it.” Lilith grinned.

“Yeah, but so does having ten wives. Then you think about it, and

either way, you’re fucked Monday through Sunday. So when do you have

time for football?”

She laughed. “Now that you know, what do you plan to do?”

I had no clue. One thing was for sure though; I wasn’t going to let the

kid, or me die for anyone’s sins. Original or extra crispy ones. If He wanted

to stay the leader of Heaven, He had sure as hell better find another way.

“Did you know?” I lifted her chin, my eyes searching her beautiful

face. “Was that why you helped me? Why you’re here now?”

The corner of her mouth twitched. “I knew.”

“And?”

“And what?” Her grin grew.

“Damn it, Lilith.”

“Damn it, Jace.” She winked at me.

Unable to take it anymore, I twisted my hands in her hair, and kissed

her, a kiss of total possession. Our mouths locked, hands and fantasies

roaming uncontrolled. Clothing disappeared. Naked, belly swollen with

child, Lilith had never been more beautiful.

“I love—”

Her finger pressed against my lips stopping the words I longed to

say. “Don’t say it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not one of your cotton-candy lovers.” She leaned over

me caressing my chest with long, tapered nails. “How many times have you

spoken those words?”

I shrugged, not wanting to have this conversation. “A few times.”

“Wife number one? Did you promise to always love her?”

I nodded.

“Wife two? Three? Mary?” Lilith gazed at me. “Did you tell them

you loved them?”

Again, I nodded. They say the truth will set you free, but it damned

me. I’d said the words too many times, to too many women.

“Your love didn’t last,” she whispered against my neck.

No, it hadn’t. My heart burned with sudden fear. Would Lilith fade

away, my love for her disappear? Would love turn to hate? Would she betray

me as the others had?

She kissed me, her tongue stroking mine with abandon. “Promise me

something.”

“Anything.”

“Never tell me you love me.”

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“Deal.”

~ * ~

“What happened to Mary?” I wiped a bead of sweat from Lilith’s

naked skin. Our lovemaking had surpassed my hospital fantasies, and had

included positions, and visual aids illegal in many southern states. Now, as

we lay side-by-side on the adjustable bed, my mind wandered with loose

ends and worries about our future.

Lilith yawned, showing sharpened canine teeth. “It’s customary not

to bring up past lovers while in bed with the current one. Unless it’s a

comparison, and then only when I come out on top.”

“I’ll remember that.” I kissed her bare shoulder, licking her salt-