Home to Hart's Crossing (33 page)

His dad stopped walking. “You’re not serious.”

“Afraid so.” He turned to face his father.

“But why?”

Al sighed. “Money.” He shrugged. “My paycheck doesn’t stretch far enough these days. Not with four of us.”

“Do you need a loan? If you do, I can
”

“No, Dad. Thanks, but this is something I’ve got to work out for myself.”

“When would you move?”

“Probably not until the next school year. I’ll have to see what’s out there. I guess it could be sooner than next fall, if a position opened up somewhere midterm, but that’s not likely.”

His dad raked his fingers through graying hair. “It’ll break your mother’s heart if you move away. Especially now that she’s got grandchildren.”

“Let’s not say anything to her. It hasn’t happened yet. It’s just something I’m thinking about.”

And the thinking weighed heavy on his heart.

* * *

Standing at the open back door, Patti observed her husband and father-in-law as they talked outside the large weathered barn. After a few moments, Mark placed a hand on Al’s right shoulder. A gesture of comfort? Of sympathy?

Tears stung her eyes.

Al was unhappy, and it was her fault. She’d nagged at him. She’d lied to him. Worst of all, she’d made him feel like a failure as a husband and provider. What if she’d gone too far? What if he fell out of love with her?

“Is something wrong, Patti?”

Her mother-in-law’s gentle voice drew her around. She opened her mouth to say nothing was wrong, but instead said, “Do you remember my dad?”

“Yes, I remember Grant. I never knew him well, of course. We didn’t move in the same social circles.”

“Do you think he ever loved my mom?”

Her mother-in-law rinsed the mixing bowl in her hand and set it in the dish drainer. Then she dried her hands on a towel before turning toward Patti. “That’s a question you should ask your mother.”

“She doesn’t like to talk about him. Even after all these years. I remember how hurt she was when he left us. And then she got angry and stayed that way for a long time.”

Carolyne leaned a hip against the counter, arms crossed over her chest. “What’s this about, dear? Why are you asking about your dad?”

The unwelcome tears fell from Patti’s eyes, tracing her cheeks. “Sometimes I think Al must be sorry he married me.”

“Gracious. What a thing to say!”

“I’ve made him miserable lately.”

Carolyne hurried to her side. “Come into the living room and sit down.” With an arm around Patti’s back, her mother-in-law steered her toward the sofa. “Now, tell me what’s troubling you.”

She wanted to comply. She wanted to pour out her heart, but doing so would feel like another betrayal of her husband. She’d done too much of that already. She’d hurt Al in too many ways.

“Patti”—Carolyne’s voice was gentle and low
“are you afraid Al might do what your father did?”

There it was
her greatest fear, out in the open. What if he left her because of the things she’d said and done? What if he decided he couldn’t live with her tears, her moods, her spending?

What if I’ve made him so unhappy he turns to someone else?
She drew a shallow breath.
Someone like Cassandra Coble.

She closed her eyes, wanting to shut out the pain in her heart.

“Al is nothing like Grant Sinclair.” Carolyne placed the palm of her hand against Patti’s cheek. “He isn’t the type to walk out on his family. He loves you, and he loves those two precious babies. He isn’t going anywhere without the three of you. I can promise you that. No matter what the trouble is, he’ll go through it with you.”

Patti looked at her mother-in-law, hoping she was right, wanting desperately to believe it.

Carolyne gave her an encouraging smile. “Every marriage goes through rough patches. Living with another person, no matter how much you love them, can be hard at times. And when you throw young kids into the mix…” She rolled her eyes. “When we were newlyweds, Mark and I used to fight like cats and dogs.”

“You did?”

“Gracious, yes. That man was as stubborn as the day is long, and I was every bit as bad. My, we could butt heads. We still do, every now and then. And over the silliest things too.”

Patti couldn’t imagine her in-laws speaking a cross word to each other.

“Our biggest problem in the early years of marriage was I thought he should know what I felt, and he thought I should be able to read his mind. I’ve never known a single couple that worked for. It takes words to communicate.”

Footsteps announced the arrival of the men on the back porch.

Carolyne stood. “Why don’t you go wash away those tears? Then you and I can get ourselves a piece of that pie before those two eat it all.” She smiled again. “And Patti, put away those worries. It’ll turn out right. You’ll see.”

* * *

Al slid the empty plate into the center of the table.

“Would you like another slice?” his mom asked.

“Better not. Two was more than I needed.” He pushed his chair back from the table and patted his stomach. “I should’ve stopped at one.”

His dad rocked Weston on his thighs. “When you get to be my age, you’ll have to stop at one. If I didn’t limit myself, I’d weigh three hundred pounds by now.”

Al smiled as he tried to picture an overweight Mark Bedford. Impossible to do. His father, now in his mid-fifties, still wore the same size trousers as when he graduated from college. Al knew this because his parents had renewed their wedding vows on their thirtieth anniversary, and his dad was able to wear the suit he got married in.

His gaze traveled around the table as he remembered the Saturday he brought Patti home to meet his parents for the first time. After dating a couple of months, he knew Patti was destined to be more than just another girlfriend, and he wanted his family to know she was special to him. He remembered the way Patti laughed at his dad’s jokes
even the lame ones
and raved over his mom’s cooking.

More memories of other good times in this old farmhouse kitchen drifted into his mind. Christmases and Thanksgivings when his grandparents were still living. Birthday parties, both his and Eric’s. The day he and Patti told his parents they were engaged. The day they announced they were expecting. Another day when they informed his folks they were having twins.

If he and Patti moved away from Hart’s Crossing, would their kids have the same sort of rich memories as he had? How often would they get to see his parents? Would Wes have the opportunity to tinker with Grandpa Mark on some old tractor? Would Sunni learn to bake pies with Grandma Carolyne in this big old kitchen?

But maybe he was idealizing everything. Maybe they would make even better memories in a new home in a new town. Maybe if he wasn’t so stressed over finances, he would be a better husband and dad.

It’s about more than money.

He looked across the kitchen table at his wife who was listening to something his mom said. Love surged in his chest, a feeling so strong it was almost painful. Had she any idea how much he loved her?

“And you husbands,”
Paul said in Ephesians,
“must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church.”

Had he loved her that much? When he replayed the events of the past couple of weeks in his mind, he had to answer no. Even when he finally agreed that he would look into finding a better paying position, he’d done it with reluctance and an attitude that told her this was all her fault.

Pride. He’d let pride get in his way of doing the right things, of saying the right things.

* * *

Patti glanced across the table at her husband and found him watching her.

I don’t want us to leave Hart’s Crossing. This is our home.

She hoped her mother-in-law was wrong. She hoped Al could read her mind. At least this once.

I’m sorry, Al.

Somewhere in the New Testament, wives were instructed to respect their husbands. There hadn’t been much respect going on when she was insisting on her own way, when she was buying things their budget couldn’t handle, when she was asking for money from her mother behind his back. Or when she let fears surface, fears that he might one day walk out, the same way her father had. What sort of faith did that show? It didn’t show faith. It said she didn’t trust him. And perhaps he felt that lack of trust.

But she could change all that. She
must
change it. She needed to share her uncertainties and fears. She’d held back parts of herself from him since the day they met, and that was wrong of her. He was her husband. She needed to trust him with her full self, her full heart.

This morning, she’d told God she needed to know how to start setting things right. Well, now she had her answer. She would begin with trust. Trusting Al. Trusting God.

Chapter 10

AFTER PUTTING THE TWINS to bed for the night, Patti went in search of her husband. She found him in the family room with his laptop open, his fingers tapping on the keys.

“Are you working?” she asked as she sat on the sofa nearby.

He looked up. “I’m updating my resume.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Yes, I do. It may take some time to find a better-paying position, but I think my qualifications are
”