Homecoming (38 page)

‘I told you at Helen's party. Because I was angry, young and stupid at the time. Angry because you wouldn't come back to London with me, too stupid to take what you were offering, because I'd got it into my head that you didn't love me and only saw me as a way out of a job you hated …'

‘You got that bit right. Not about me not loving you, but about me seeing you as a way out of a job I hated.'

‘Really?' Lifting her in his arms, he dropped her on to the sofa and sank down beside her.

‘I was envious of Jack and Helen. Not just being married but having their own home and a baby to look forward to. And staying at home looking after a baby seemed an easier option than having to get out of bed every morning in a city I hated and fighting my way on to the tube to work in a studio full of people who despised me for being young, inexperienced and having the wrong accent.'

‘I knew you were having a rough time …'

‘I never told you the half of it. I was too embarrassed.'

‘And look at you now.' He stretched out and pulled her back against him. ‘Business tycoon …'

‘Hardly. My mother and I only have eleven salons.'

‘Only?' he said in amusement. ‘You want more?'

‘Yes,' she said determinedly.

‘Good for you.'

‘You mean that?' she asked in surprise.

‘If the garage is successful, I can't see me being happy with one.'

‘Then you do understand.'

‘I understand this.' He slid his hand inside her gown and cupped her naked breast. ‘And that's where my third fault comes in. I've explained angry and stupid but not young. I hadn't lived long enough when I walked away from you on Swansea station to appreciate that what we had was precious, and doesn't come more than once in a lifetime.'

‘I hoped you would write but, much as I wanted to hear from you, I wouldn't make the first move,' she confessed huskily, disturbed by the effect his caresses were having on her.

‘I've been wanting to apologise properly since the first moment I set eyes on you after I returned to Swansea.'

‘Brian, this is …'

‘Insane? Too quick? Too sudden?' He pulled at her tie belt with one hand while stroking her nipple with the other.

‘All of that.' She clamped her hand over his. ‘This morning I was engaged …'

‘To the wrong man.'

‘I had no business going out with Sam, much less accepting an engagement ring from him. Not when …' She faltered.

‘It wouldn't hurt you to say it. Just once, Judy.' He turned her around and looked into her eyes.

‘Not when I loved you.'

‘Love me,' he corrected, as he finally succeeded in untying her belt. Opening her negligee, he kissed each of her breasts in turn before slipping the robe over her shoulders.

‘Brian, I can't do this, there's Sam …'

‘You broke off with him, remember.'

‘Only this morning.'

‘From what he did to me, I think he understands the situation between you.'

She tried to grab her robe, but he whisked it over his head and threw it behind him. Seconds later his pullover, shirt and vest joined it on the floor. ‘I love you, Brian, I've never stopped loving you, but …'

‘You're not engaged any more, Judy. And I've been dreaming about this since the last time you undressed for me. I can't believe that I was actually idiotic enough to walk out on you when you offered to make love with me. Please, my love,' pulling her close, he kissed her gently on the lips, ‘don't allow happiness to slip away from us a second time.'

She lay between the sheets and watched while he unbuckled his trousers and stripped off the last of his clothes, and trembled when he slid into the bed beside her.

‘You cold?' He pulled her naked body along the full length of his.

‘No.'

‘Then what?' he questioned anxiously. ‘You still want to wait?'

‘It's a bit late for that.' She wrapped her hands around his back.

‘I'm glad you think so.'

‘But …'

‘Judy, you're not eighteen any more and I'm not twenty-one. You've been engaged for eighteen months, I've …'

‘What?' she prompted. He nuzzled her neck.

‘Philandered.'

She drew in her breath sharply as his hands moved lower. ‘Brian …' Her voice rose in alarm.

‘What's wrong, my love?'

‘Nothing.' As he touched her again, she realised that nothing was.

Chapter Twenty

Brian waited while the telephone rang – and rang – and rang. When a sleepy voice he barely recognised, finally mumbled an incomprehensible grunt on the other end of the line, he said, ‘Is that you, Jack?'

‘Brian, have you any idea of the time?'

‘Half past one, why do you ask? Aren't the clocks working in Carlton Terrace?' Brian replied with an exuberance that irritated Jack to the point where, if he had been in the room with him, he could have quite cheerfully emulated Sam's example, and punched him.

‘I was asleep, the hall is bloody freezing, I haven't even got my slippers on …'

‘My oh my, we are a joyless Jack.'

‘You phoned,' Jack growled.

‘Yes, have you heard from Marty?'

‘No.'

‘Could you nip round to Katie and John's, and Roy and Joy's tomorrow morning and tell them what's happened to Lily and Martin?'

‘Already done.'

‘Good, then if Martin doesn't phone and want me up there, I'll see you in the house about seven. I'm staying overnight with a friend.'

‘He must be a bloody, long-suffering friend to put up with you prancing around, yelling into the telephone at this time in the morning.'

‘A very long-suffering friend.' Brian raised his voice for Judy's benefit.

‘Anything else?' Jack demanded irritably.

‘No, that's about it, unless you hear from Martin. If there's anything I can do …'

‘I'll phone you. Goodnight, Brian.'

‘How can you phone me if you don't know my number?' Brian stared at the receiver but the line was dead.

‘Is there any news of Lily?' Judy asked, as Brian padded back into the bedroom naked.

‘No.' He turned back the bedclothes.

‘I hope she's all right.'

‘So do I,' he concurred fervently, sliding into bed beside her. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her head down on to his chest. ‘We have some talking to do.'

‘Yes, we do,' she agreed softly.

‘Do we visit the vicar and the Mackworth tomorrow and tell them that you want the wedding and reception to go ahead as planned, apart from a change of bridegroom?'

‘They'll think I'm insane.'

‘Probably.' He kissed her forehead. ‘But it seems a shame to let all that planning go to waste. I bet you've even bought the dress.'

‘And sent out the invitations, ordered the cake, the flowers, the cars …'

‘I feel I should warn you that if we do go for the change of bridegroom option, I'd rather Sam's relatives didn't come.'

‘I have a lot of sorting out to do with Sam,' she mused soberly.

‘I thought you did all the sorting that needs doing today.' He lifted his hand and checked that the plaster was still covering his cheekbone.

‘Not really.'

‘But you did break off your engagement as Sam said?' he enquired urgently.

‘And returned Sam's ring. But there are so many other things to do, like tell everyone we sent invitations to, that the wedding has been cancelled. That's what I was doing when you turned up tonight. We invited a hundred and twelve people.'

‘You know a hundred and twelve people well enough to invite them to your wedding?'

‘I don't. Something like ninety-odd are Sam's relations, and so far I've only written ten letters. And those were the easy ones.'

‘Go to the printer's tomorrow and get him to knock up something that you can stuff into an envelope,' he suggested practically. ‘I'll even lick the envelopes and the stamps for you, if you like.'

‘Brian the martyr – it doesn't suit you.' Because she was still thinking of the pain she'd inflicted on Sam, her smile was tempered.

‘I can be a martyr if the rewards are great enough.' He stroked the flat of her stomach with the back of his finger.

‘We are supposed to be talking,' she reprimanded, clamping her hand over his.

‘Yes, ma'am.'

‘And don't come all humble, that doesn't suit you either.'

‘No, ma'am.'

‘Sam should have as much say about the wording of the letter that goes out as I do,' she continued, trying to keep both his hands imprisoned in hers. ‘And we should draft something for the
Evening Post,
as we announced our engagement in it. Then there are all the cancellations to be made –'

‘I accept that you have to talk to Sam about the letters and the announcement, but I can help you with the cancellations.'

‘There's no need, my mother and I can do them between us.'

‘So, what are you saying, love? That you have to see Sam again?'

‘Yes,' she asserted reluctantly. ‘I didn't mean to hurt him but I have and I want to tell him that we are together before he hears it from someone else.'

‘He knew about us even before we did,' Brian pointed out.

‘I was angry when I drove away from him this afternoon. I have to make him understand that I didn't break off our engagement in the heat of the moment and I meant what I said, when I told him that it was over between us.'

‘I rather think he got that part of your message,' he said ruefully, freeing his hands from hers and gingerly stroking his right eye, which was now completely swollen shut. ‘If you think you should meet him, then go ahead, arrange it. But make it somewhere public and I'll go with you.'

‘So, he can black your other eye?' she interrupted indignantly. ‘Absolutely not.'

‘Now that I've finally got you back after all these years, I'd like to keep you in one piece.'

‘Sam won't hurt me.' She traced a line from his navel to the base of his throat.

‘That tickles, and if I'm not allowed to tease you, you are not allowed to tease me.' He closed his hand over hers. ‘And I'll guarantee he won't hurt you if I go along with you when you meet him.'

‘I don't need a chaperone or a bodyguard.'

‘Just a husband.'

Turning on to her stomach, she looked up at him. ‘I don't remember you asking me to marry you?'

‘I don't need to,' he grinned.

‘You're taking an awful lot for granted, Brian Powell.'

‘That's an odd thing for a woman in your state of undress to say to a man she's sharing a bed with. A man who incidentally forgot about everything when he was dragged in here.'

‘Everything!' She looked at him in alarm.

‘How do you feel about children?'

‘That depends on who they belong to.'

‘Us. I'd like a dozen. You?'

‘Not quite a dozen, but I won't give up work when they come along.'

‘I wouldn't expect you to.' He looked intently into her eyes and moved his hands down the length of her body. ‘How about you cancel the wedding you planned with Sam and visit the register office with me tomorrow to see how quickly we can organise a wedding of our very own. I'll get Jack to cover for me in the garage at two o'clock and meet you there then, just in case they close from one to two for lunch.'

‘You want a small affair where I wear a costume and you wear an old suit?'

‘Not too old,' he qualified. ‘I think I have one hidden away somewhere without holes in the knees. Do you have any problems with that?'

‘No.' She recalled the conversation she'd had with her mother when she'd told her that she was more of a costume girl like Katie and Helen, than a white wedding dress sort of bride. ‘In fact it sounds just about perfect.'

‘Good, then we'll do that.' He glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table. ‘If we turn out the light, we might manage a couple of hours' sleep.'

‘You tired?'

‘No.' He lifted his undamaged eyebrow. ‘You?'

‘Not very.'

‘I can think of just the thing to keep an insomniac girlfriend happy.'

‘I never knew it could be like this,' she whispered, as he slid down in the bed beside her.

‘Neither did I, my love.'

Jack returned to bed after Brian's call, but after an hour spent restlessly tossing and turning on his mattress, he finally went downstairs. The empty house closed around him like a mausoleum, silent and bereft of life. He was acutely and painfully aware of Lily and Martin's absence, and couldn't stop thinking about them – and Helen.

He knew exactly what his brother was going through and he felt for him, wishing there was something that he could do to help him and Lily. Brian had insisted that Martin hadn't known Lily was pregnant, but he couldn't think of a reason why she would keep news of that magnitude from Martin. Surely it couldn't be just because he was worried about the overdraft she'd taken out?

Unable to bear the thought of Martin and Lily losing their child before it was born, just as he and Helen had lost theirs, he sat in the living room, lit a cigarette and mulled over the wreckage of his marriage.

He knew just how much he had hurt Helen when he had told her that Maggie was carrying his child, because the thought of Helen making love with another man was sheer torture. And that was why he couldn't understand why she had visited Maggie. It had to be more than simple curiosity … but what? He had no shortage of ideas but rather than speculate, he felt he had to see her face to face and ask her why she had opted for a meeting that must have been as humiliating for her as it was painful.

It was high time he faced up to his responsibilities. What he had done to Helen, as well as the mess he had made of Maggie and their baby's lives. If Helen wanted to divorce him, the onus was on him to make all the arrangements, but just the thought of walking into a solicitor's office and taking the first step to end their marriage made his blood run cold. However, he couldn't continue to ignore the situation. If Helen wanted her freedom, he owed her at least that much.

He walked into the kitchen, opened a drawer in the cabinet and took out envelopes, a notepad and Lily's fountain pen. Sitting at the kitchen table, he began to compose a letter.

Dear Helen,

If you'd like to divorce me …

Looking at what he'd written, it seemed tantamount to an invitation for Helen to do just that. Tearing the paper from the pad, he screwed it into a ball, flicked open the pedal bin, and tossed it in, before beginning again.

Dear Helen,

We need to talk …

That looked so trite, it joined his first effort.

Dear Helen,

I love you and I'm so sorry …

As he screwed up the third piece of paper, he reflected that at the rate he was going he would work his way through Lily's entire stock of Basildon Bond by morning. He lit another cigarette and moved to one of the easy chairs. What was the worst that could happen if he telephoned the warehouse in the morning and asked to speak to Helen? She refused to talk to him? Or she wasn't there and he would take that as a refusal to speak to him? Or she did speak to him – and then what?

They had been married for nearly three years and although they had spent only five weeks of that time together, if anything he loved her more now than he had on their wedding day. He had made a mistake – a horrendous one – he had hurt her deeply and that was why he had to allow her to decide the next step they should take. He only hoped that if she did choose to end their marriage, he would be man enough to accept the consequences of his actions and resign himself to spending the rest of his life without her.

*……*……*

‘Brian, it's six o'clock,' Judy remonstrated, as he tried to kiss her goodbye – for the third time since she'd insisted it was time he went. ‘The milkman and postman will be here in half an hour and if they see you leaving, or Martin's car parked outside this flat, they will put two and two together and do their adding up all over Mumbles and Swansea. My reputation will be mud.'

‘I can live with a woman with a besmirched reputation. It's the beatings from rival suitors that I find hard to take.'

She looked guiltily at his closed eye and bruised face. ‘That is not remotely funny.'

He threw up his hands and backed away from her, jamming the last of the toast and marmalade she had made for him into his mouth. ‘I'm going even as I speak.'

‘Thank you.' She handed him the keys to Martin's car.

‘See you tonight as well as at the register office this afternoon?'

‘Please,' she smiled.

‘I like the sound of that “please” and the look of that smile.'

‘Do me a favour?'

‘What?' he asked warily.

She handed him an envelope. ‘Push that through Sam's door.'

He eyed the envelope suspiciously. ‘You want me to risk my head and other more vital parts of my body after the night of bliss we've just shared, by walking up to Sam's door?'

‘He's on mornings this week, so he will have left the house at five-thirty.'

‘You know his every move?'

‘That is hardly surprising considering that I was engaged to the man until yesterday morning. And we agreed last night that I have to see him one more time.'

‘When and where?'

‘I suggested a café at four o'clock this afternoon. I said if he couldn't make it today I'd be there every afternoon at four this week until he could.'

‘What café?' he enquired disarmingly.

‘That would be telling.'

‘If you tell me and stay there until six, I'll pick you up after I close the garage.'

‘You will not.'

‘I will.'

‘You will not,' she repeated crossly, her temper rising.

‘At the risk of sounding as if I'm in a pantomime, I will. I refuse to allow you to put yourself in danger.'

‘You are not “allowing me” to do anything,' she erupted. ‘I am in control of my life, not you. And I won't be taking any risk in meeting Sam. He's not an ogre.'

‘Do you mind repeating that?' He touched the plaster she'd stuck over his cheekbone.