Homecoming (47 page)

As soon as Jill was a few blocks away, she called Janet. “I’m so sorry,” she began, but Janet jumped right in.

“You’re sorry?
I’m
sorry for having my otherwise mild-mannered son run all the way up there to harass you! What in the hell happened?”

“I’m not sure,” Jill admitted. “He was on my porch when I got home, beside himself with anger. When he grabbed me by the arm, my neighbor saw him and called the cops.”

There was a long moment of silence, which Jill filled with anxiety that Janet would blame her for escalating this mess, but Janet yanked her right out of her musings. “
I
called the police,” she said, not a trace of regret in her voice. “I’d never heard him sound like he did, Jill. I knew I couldn’t trust him to be alone with you.”

“Oh, shit.” She let her head fall back to rest against the seat, scrambled thoughts flying around in her head. “I’m so sorry. That must have been awfully hard for you to do.”

“Not in the least,” she said briskly. “I love my kids, but when they act like idiots, they have to face the consequences just like anyone else. Now tell me what happened. Did he try to hurt you?”

“I don’t…” Her instinct was to lie. To say she was certain he hadn’t, but Janet wasn’t pulling any punches, and it wasn’t fair to treat her like she was fragile. “I honestly don’t know. I saw a side of him I didn’t know existed, Janet. I…” The stress of the awful afternoon finally got inside and she started to cry. “I’m so damned sorry for this. I should have kept my distance from Lizzie. It would have been better for your family to have her find a complete stranger to love.”

“I know that you’re upset,” Janet said, the crisp, staccato pace of her voice now soft and gentle. “And I’ve got to admit I am too. But you can’t put your life choices up to a vote, Jill. You girls aren’t doing a single thing you should be ashamed of. So don’t ever let me—and for
God’s
sake don’t let Lizzie—hear you say something so silly.”

“I won’t,” she sniffled, craving a hug so badly she could taste it. Unlike her own mother, she knew Janet would give her one—a big one—the minute they saw each other again. Damn, that was a nice feeling. One she absolutely would not let Mark and his homophobic bullshit take away from her.

***

The last thing Jill was going to do was tell her friends the police had to come force her new girlfriend’s brother to leave her alone. So she drove around for a while, then went down to the pier to watch the sun set. There weren’t many people around, even though most of the boats were still in the water; floating bits of hope for their owners, who were sure they were going to get another fun-filled weekend in before it got too cold.

Jill sat at the end of the dock, wishing it was June again. She’d give a lot to have a whole summer with Lizzie. How stupid she’d been to waste time, making Lizzie jump through hoops to prove she was gay enough to take a chance on. Stupid, stupid and more stupid. No doubt about that.

Her phone rang and she could immediately feel her pulse start to race. She hadn’t had time to think things through and decide what to tell Lizzie—if she didn’t already know about Mark.

“Hi,” she said when she saw her picture on the display. She’d used the one of Lizzie kissing her cheek when they were up on Red Rocks. The one where Jill looked like she’d been hit with a shovel. It usually made her laugh, but today she simply felt a little sick.

“Six siblings. All done,” Lizzie declared, sounding as perky as she had on Friday after talking to Donna.

“How did it go? You sound good.”

“It went okay. You know how my brothers are. None of them ever have much to say unless you’re talking about the Sox, the Pats or the Bruins. Which is perfectly fine with me. What’s up with you? You sound a little…”

“Tired. I’m tired. I went kayaking with Samantha and Carly.”

“Oh, cool. Where are you now?”

“I’m sitting out at the end of King Street dock, watching the sunset.”

“Nice.” Jill could hear the smile in her voice. “I can picture you there, trying to make the lake a few degrees warmer just by wishing.”

“How’d you know?”

“I’ll be home in about an hour and a half. Do you still want to go to my apartment and pick up my stuff?”

“Sure. I should have asked you to leave your keys so I could do it myself. I’m right in the neighborhood.”

A soft laugh came through the line. “Will you strangle me if I admit I have a key hidden under the mat?”

“Are you crazy?”

“Not
my
mat,” Lizzie corrected. “The mat in front of the rear apartment on the first floor.”

“What in the hell…?”

“I have hers and she has mine. That’s how I got in to bake your birthday cake, so don’t complain.”

“Lizzie, you’re putting out the welcome mat to—”

“No, no. Burglars are too lazy to try all of the locks. It’s cool.”

Jill stopped herself from launching into a lecture, even though she desperately wanted to. She already had a headache and decided it was smart to forget about this extremely ill-thought-out idea. “Just for the record, I’d prefer that you didn’t hide a key to my house. I’ll gladly pay for a locksmith if you ever get locked out.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Jill normally would have laughed, but she couldn’t summon the energy. “I’ll admit it’s not as exciting as never knowing who’s going to be sitting on your sofa when you get home, but I like to keep my life pretty boring.”

There was a longish pause. “Are you mad at me?”

“Of course not. I’m just tired. But I’ll run by your house and pick up some clothes for you. Anything else?”

“I need shoes and a purse and my makeup bag. There’s probably stuff lying all over the counter in my bathroom. If it could possibly be makeup, throw it into that plastic bag that’s lying there. Oh, and my hairbrush. I can use the dryer in the guest bathroom, right?”

“Of course. Call me if you think of anything else.”

“I will. Or I’ll text you.”

“Pull over before you do that, okay? I don’t want you to get into an accident.”

“Hmm, I guess that means you don’t want me to call my mom and talk to her all the way home like I was planning, huh?”

“I’d really prefer you didn’t, Lizzie. Just play some music to entertain yourself. You can call you mom when you get back.”
After I tell you your brother wanted to murder me.

***

The second Jill hung up, she called Janet. “Me again,” she said. “If Lizzie calls you, don’t tell her about Mark, okay?”

“Jill, I have to tell her. She’ll find out eventually.”

“I mean while she’s driving. I know it’ll upset her and I don’t want her to drive all that way if she’s not paying attention.”

She couldn’t see her, but Jill could sense Janet’s smile. “I’m glad you’re taking care of my girl,” she said softly. “I appreciate that.”

“She’s very, very important to me, Janet. I’ll do everything I can to care for her. You can count on that.”

***

It was kind of strange going through Lizzie’s personal items. Even though Jill was doing it to help her out, it was still an invasion of her privacy.

While shoving mascara, eye liner and lipstick into a battered plastic food storage bag, Jill recalled a conference she’d gone to not long ago where she’d picked up a nice set of toiletry bags. They were emblazoned with the name of a software program she was being pitched, but Lizzie wouldn’t mind that. She was the kind of woman who’d rather have a nice freebie than to have Jill spend money buying her a good travel set. That was kinda cool.

By the time she had a suitcase filled with all of the things on Lizzie’s list, then stopped at the store for food for breakfast, it was nine o’clock. She hurried back to her house, arriving to find Freyja sitting in her driveway. So much nicer than that big, menacing truck that had growled at her earlier in the afternoon.

Lizzie didn’t have a key, so she was sitting at the patio table, shivering. “Who decided to let fall come so early?” she demanded.

“I voted against it.” Jill did her best to smile naturally.

“A whole suitcase, huh? You probably got all of my clothes in there.”

“No, just a couple of dresses. I wasn’t sure which shoes you wanted, so I might have gone overboard with them.”

“I might have to get into your tub to warm up.” She pasted herself to Jill as she tried to get her key into the lock. Jill was a little chilly too, but that didn’t explain why her hands were shaking.

As soon as they entered the house, the cats put on a dramatic display, crying, purring, and winding themselves around legs, managing to convey their outrage as well as their dependency.

“Are the baby boys starving?” Lizzie asked as she bent to pick them both up and let them rub their faces against her jaw. She made eye contact with Jill. “Were you out all day?”

Jill nodded, then walked over to fetch their box of dry food. After she put a little in each bowl, the boys ran to it, then studiously acted like they were now in no hurry at all as they leisurely took a few nibbles. Jill went and cleaned the litter box, and as she was washing her hands, Lizzie came to stand next to her. The big, white light over the sink shone on her face, illuminating every twitch that Jill tried to hide.

“What’s going on?” Lizzie asked, gazing at her soberly. “Did you talk to Mark?”

“Long story.” Grimly, Jill dried her hands, then guided a clearly puzzled and anxious Lizzie into the den. They sat down next to each other on the sofa and she began. “He came here.”

“He what?” She was on her feet in a second, looming over Jill.

“He came here,” she repeated quietly.

Lizzie sat down and gripped Jill’s hands firmly. “What did he do?” Her words were benign, but there was a cold anger to them that made Jill shiver. She hoped she never heard that tone directed at her.

“He was angry. Furious, really. But he didn’t do much. Just screamed at me and forced someone to call the police.”

“The police!”

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “They didn’t arrest him, but they did a report with our names and addresses. I hope to god no one at work has access to that.”

“Why did you have to show ID? You didn’t go to
his
house and make a fool out of yourself.”

“The police said they wanted our names just in case he came back. For my protection.” She cleared her throat. “They wanted me to file a restraining order.”

Lizzie grasped her and pulled Jill against her body so fiercely that she had the breath knocked out of her. “He scared you, didn’t he.”

“Yeah. He did.” She swallowed, finding it difficult to get enough saliva in her mouth to accomplish that simple task. She hadn’t realized how shaken up she was, but now that she was in Lizzie’s arms, she found her whole body trembling.

“I don’t”—Lizzie took in a deep breath—“I don’t know him any more. We never spend any time together alone, and when I see them as a family he lets Lisa or the kids do all the talking. I’ve…lost touch.” She held Jill at arm’s length and gazed into her eyes. “I can’t guarantee what he’ll do, so if you’re afraid, we should stay with one of your friends.”

“I’m not afraid he’ll come back. It’s just—” She started to cry, the stress of the day catching up with her now that Lizzie was home. “It’s hard to admit to myself how easy it would have been for him to really hurt me. Sometimes I forget how much stronger men are.” She sucked in a breath. “He made me feel really vulnerable, and that’s hard for me.”

“Are you cold?” She rubbed her hands briskly over Jill’s arms. “You’re shivering.”

“Just stress, I think.”

Lizzie got up and held a hand out. “Let’s go upstairs and take a bath. We could both use it.”

They walked upstairs together, and Lizzie briskly took over, turning on the water and deciding what to add to it. She picked bubbles, and soon the tub was crowned with fluffy white mounds of them. Before Jill could do it herself, Lizzie undressed her. It took just a few extra seconds for Lizzie to strip, then she put her arms around Jill and held her tenderly. “I missed you so much.” They kissed, gently, for a minute or two. “I don’t want to go away without you again,” she said, brushing the hair from Jill’s eyes and kissing her lids tenderly.

“That makes two of us.”

Lizzie helped her step in, then slid in so she was behind her, with her legs lying on top of Jill’s thighs. Gently, she eased her back so she lay upon Lizzie’s chest. Cupping water in her hand, Lizzie let it drip down Jill’s body, keeping up the slow, steady pace until Jill was slightly mesmerized by the drops splashing over her.

“I know you were frightened today. I would have been too. But he won’t come back. Once he lets it sink in how crazy he acted, he’ll be too embarrassed to leave Sugar Hill.”

“I hope that’s true. But”—she shivered roughly—“you didn’t see him. He looked like he wanted to kill me, Lizzie. I’ve never had anyone look at me with that kind of…venom.”

“He never got over you,” she said, not a note of indecision. “Having to hear that his little sister gets to have what he wants…”

“I would have argued with you before, but he said something about turning my back on the love that had been right in front of me for years. That made things clear.” Jill reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, and when she began to lower her arm, Lizzie caught it.

Jill hadn’t looked at the fingerprints again, had honestly forgotten about them, but Lizzie’s body turned stiff as she tenderly brushed her fingers across them. “Did he do this?” she asked, her voice low and full of barely controlled anger.

“Yeah,” Jill whispered, shame filling her, even though she knew logically that she had nothing at all to be ashamed of. Having someone stronger and more powerful show how easy it would be to snap her in half embarrassed her. The image of dropping to her knees just because of the force of his grip screwed with her view of how she faced the world…of her competence…her independence. She burrowed against Lizzie, trying to forget how powerless she’d felt.

“You should have had him arrested. If I’d been here, he’d be in the fucking hospital.”