Homesmind (13 page)

Anra trembled, grateful that she was not touching the boy's thoughts; she could not have endured his memories.

"We've been wandering since then," he continued. "We've seen a few other wandering bands, so other villages must be divided as well." He cleared his throat. "At first, my companions and I didn't know where to go, and then we realized we were near you. Fersen said that if we took lives here, lives of sinners, that we'd be blessed. I tried to tell him that we couldn't, that we were too few, that your village might by now have some magic to aid us, since it was you who first learned of the sky-dwellers and the ones called Minds. Fersen said that wandering had addled my wits, and then he told me that he would kill me himself if I spoke against his intention."

Anra kept her face still, not wanting to betray her feelings. The boy's words had moved her. "What's your name?" she asked at last.

"Olin TiyVen." He waved a hand at the dead man. "That's Fersen GioraPaal there. You should know his name before you bury him." Olin lifted his head. "You've taken one life—it will be easier for you to take mine."

Jaan tugged at his mustache. "We won't strike out at one who refuses to fight."

"Then you'll send me away, I suppose. I won't live long if my companions find me."

Anra glanced at her friends, sensing faint thoughts. "It depends on you," she answered. "Do you want to stay here instead?"

Olin started; Kierlus looked unhappy.

"We want to help other Earthfolk, don't we?" she continued. "Surely we can welcome one boy."

"If what he's told us is true," Kierlus muttered.

"He should open his mind to Leito and the other old ones," Gennon said. "He might try to strike at us later. They'll quickly find out if he has such a hidden purpose."

"I don't want to fight you," Olin said wearily. Anra found herself believing him. She reached out tentatively; below his surface thoughts, she felt only fatigue, hunger, and a longing for rest.

Olin frowned as she withdrew. "Why do you speak aloud in this clumsy way? You have your mindpowers, such as they are—why must you use speech?"

"Don't tell him anything," Barla burst out. "Let the old ones search his mind first. He may be trying to find our weaknesses."

"If I had such a purpose, I would refuse to open my mind at all." Olin stood up. "I must bury Fersen now. His son was my friend and his daughter endured her ordeal with me—he'll be with both of them now. He was a good man before he began to wander." He went to the body and bowed his head.

Old Ede was sitting outside his hut when the young people passed him; he lifted his jug and swallowed. Five children, untended, played in another villager's garden, heedless of the rows of vegetables they were trampling under their feet. Two women stumbled past, raised their eyebrows when they saw Olin, then entered another hut. Anra could hear the raucous laughter inside. She glanced at Olin; he pressed his lips together.

They skirted the public space, where a few villagers sat together next to a shuttle as one man tossed bottles to them from the craft's door; other bottles, now empty, were strewn on the ground. Anra thrust her hands inside her pockets. Olin had not yet seen the village's greatest shame—the ones who lay inside their huts dreaming, drawing on the remaining energies of the Minds to fuel their imaginary escapes, for they had discovered that the Minds, as well as Homesmind, could feed them dreams.

"Now I understand why you don't mindspeak," Olin said abruptly. Kierlus's face reddened; Viya looked pained.

"Some are weak," Paeter responded. "We're not all that way." He waved an arm at Jen, Areli's partner, who lay in the middle of the road, snoring. Areli, even with her own fears and doubts, had grown so disgusted with the old man that she now refused to let him enter their hut; rather than find another home, Jen had taken up residence in the road. The group tiptoed around the outstretched, plump body; Jen snorted and threw an arm over his eyes. His tunic was torn and filthy, and he stank.

"I can't judge you," Olin said softly. "At least you don't fight among yourselves, and you still have your village."

"For now," Anra said. Olin glanced at her, but she did not explain.

Several old ones came to Leito's hut, where they all linked minds, Merging Selves once more. After probing Olin's thoughts, memories, and feelings, they withdrew; he now had no secrets from them.

Olin leaned against the table where he sat with the old people, clearly exhausted by the probe. Mila smiled at the boy while Areli, sensing his hunger, brought him a bowl of soup. He gulped it down.

"We see that he means no harm," Leito said. She was leaning against Vasen, who sat next to her. "Poor child. His people have suffered."

Areli handed the boy a cup of water and a small package; Olin peered at the package suspiciously. "It is food," Areli said. "You have to remove the wrapping. It comes from that vessel you saw."

"Will it make me sick?"

"We're not about to poison you," Areli replied, sounding offended.

Olin tore off the wrapping and devoured the food. "It tastes strange." He turned toward the other side of the room, where Anra was sitting with her friends. "Is it skydweller food, then?"

She nodded.

"Where are the skydwellers?"

Anra looked at Leito. The old woman seemed even weaker than usual; the thread tying her to life had grown thinner during the past months.

"There are no skydwellers here now." Leito sagged against her son. Vasen and Geve, Wiland's father, lifted her from the bench and carried her to her mat. "Stay," she said to her guests. "This boy has shown us some important things. If people are now falling into separateness and wandering, then others may come here. Some may fight us, but others may be seeking refuge."

Geve sat down next to her; he had deep creases around his eyes, but his hair and beard were still as black as his son's. "How can we help them?" he asked. "How can we prepare them for what must come? What kind of life can we show them as we are now?"

"May I speak?" Olin said. Vasen nodded. "Few will reach out to you. Others are likely to come here for other reasons, and you have no defenses, unless you're hiding them. Do the skydwellers have a way to guard you?"

"No," Mila said.

"Then how do you plan to fight?"

"Fight?"

"Are you only waiting to die, then? Is this what I've come to?"

Vasen sat down at the table again. "I have bad news for you, boy. You've come to a place where there is little to fight for."

Anra stood up. "That isn't so." She went to Olin and sat down next to him, then took a breath. "Will you open your mind to me, Olin?"

He nodded.

"Then prepare yourself. What I have to show you is complicated, and you may find it fearful."

His wall dropped away. She reached out, forming her thoughts and trying to sharpen her mental images, telling of Homesmind's struggle to save Earth's failing Minds and of the new world that awaited them in the sky. Olin was quicker than she had expected, able to understand even these unfamiliar ideas. She sensed his fear, but he held his mind steady, not pulling away; his troubles had hardened him.

—Do you see?— she finished. —Only those of us who can travel from this world to that new home in the sky will be able to draw on the Minds. Those who stay here will be trapped in separateness for many cycles, and their mindpowers will be lost until the Minds grow stronger and can restore them. Many will believe that they have lost their powers forever—

Olin's mind rippled. —No mindspeech— he thought. —Life as a true solitary. Yet some may even choose separateness here to exile from Earth— His thoughts grew warmer. Anra realized that she was clinging to them, reluctant to withdraw; Olin's brave mind was lending her his strength.

—Yes, I am drawn— he continued. —You drew me when I first saw you. In other times, I might have waited before showing such thoughts to one I hardly know, but not now. And you are drawn to me, too—

Anra withdrew quickly, feeling flustered. The others in the hut had been shielding themselves, but Leito's green eyes were staring steadily at her; the old woman had glimpsed the mental exchange.

"You must protect yourselves from invaders," Olin said aloud.

Vasen nodded; his eyes were sad. "Several cycles ago we had to fight, and we survived, but we were stronger then." He leaned forward. "We had better decide how we're to guard this village."

Olin shared a meal with the young people in the boys' hut, where he would now live. The meal was a quiet, solemn occasion, and Anra found herself remembering the lighthearted one they had all eaten with Rulek. As they ate, some of the younger children wandered by the hut, peering in at the newcomer before being chased away.

The sun was setting by the time they finished washing their dishes outside the hut. "Good night," Barla said as she wandered off to the girls' hut. Viya and Riene picked up two buckets and left for the river.

Anra was about to follow Barla when Olin touched her sleeve. "May I speak to you alone?"

"Of course."

Jaan was smirking a little; Gennon rolled his eyes. Anra's cheeks grew warm. "Perhaps you could meet my aunt Daiya this evening," she said in a louder tone. "Chal, too. He's the little boy she's caring for." Her voice sounded brittle and affected, like a skydweller's. Jaan covered his mouth; she glared at him.

"If you want," Olin replied.

They walked toward the path. "We don't have to go to Daiya's hut," she murmured, "Chal's probably asleep anyway. Tomorrow, maybe. We could go to one of the shuttles, if you like. They hae synthesizers—that's where we get our clothes and food now, except for what we grow, of course. The synthesizer's one of the skydwellers' tools—it can give you anything you want."

"From nothing?"

"It's not really from nothing. You put old things, discarded articles or wrappings, into the vessel's recycler, you see. It can take anything—even dirt and air—and turn it into something else. A skydweller could explain it." She was babbling. "If you'd like other clothes, we could get them for you. It scans your body, so the clothes will fit."

"Do you think I should cover myself, then?"

She looked away from his slender, muscled body. "Not at all. I mean, not if you don't want to."

"Too much clothing is cumbersome."

"We'll go to the river, then." They turned down another path.

"I must ask you something, Anra."

"What is it?"

"When you mindspoke to me, I sensed that you were also hiding something from me. I couldn't quite grasp it, but you were thinking of a threat—not from Earth, but from the heavens. If I'm to share your fate, I must be told everything. I'm tied to this village now—I have nowhere else to go."

"I was afraid to tell you of it too soon," she said. "When Leito didn't speak of it, we all thought we should wait. But you should know everything now, and I sense that you have the courage for it." She took a breath. "There may be another threat, and one we don't understand. Even the Minds are puzzled, and so is Homesmind."

"Go on."

"The Wanderer, the home of the skydwellers, isn't the only comet world," she continued. "There are others. One of them has appeared in the sky and Homesmind has called out to it, but it doesn't speak. Homesmind has heard only a whisper, but that was enough to make It fear that world. It's moving toward us, and we wonder if it means us harm."

"It's not one of the wandering stars that moves from place to place?" He was speaking, she knew, of this system's planets.

"No, it's a stranger. Homesmind has never encountered a hostile comet world, but that doesn't mean one can't exist. The skydwellers are afraid—they want to run from this stranger."

Olin halted. "So we may have to fight two battles."

She nodded. The boy had grasped the essential point in spite of knowing little about skydweller worlds and their history except what she had shown him earlier. "And we may lose the first, and then the outcome of the second won't matter. You wanted to find a refuge here, and there isn't one."

"It's more than I had before." He touched her arm. "I was hoping to share more thoughts with you now. I'm drawn to you, Anra. I want to reach out to your mind."

She stepped back. "It's too soon to share more than we have already."

"I know that. But if a great battle is coming, we may not have much time." He lowered his eyes. "I thought— I couldn't be sure—that there was another in your thoughts when we mindspoke. You withdrew from my mind so quickly that I couldn't be certain."

She shook her head. "The boys here are more like brothers to me." She would not speak of Rulek.

"Then maybe we'll share our thoughts another time." He took her hand as they began to walk back along the bank.

It was Anra's turn to keep watch. Yvela was with her, trailing Anra as the two girls circled the village; they passed Marellon, who was watching the east. Yvela was not yet twelve, but she and most of the younger children had volunteered to help and they were needed. Too many of the older people were either weak or were making themselves useless.

Yvela twisted her head around as a bird flew overhead. The younger girl was restless, almost hoping for a hostile band to appear and relieve the boredom of being a sentry. Her dark braids bounced as she hopped up and down.

"Be still," Anra whispered to the child. "You'll tire yourself out." Yvela drew herself up and began to mimic Anra's measured pace.

Anra thought of Olin. His open expression of his feelings should have made her feel awkward around him, yet she was not uneasy in his presence now. She even welcomed his company. Olin was brave and forthright, his mind quick enough to grasp the complicated new ideas the village had presented to him. She was all too aware of his growing feelings for her, which seeped into her mind when he was near; she was sure she could be happy with Olin as a companion or even as a partner. But part of her still longed for Rulek as well. I'm a fool, she told herself. Rulek preferred dreams of a dead girl.

She was also afraid to reach out to Olin. She had failed with her parents and with Rulek, managing only to build more walls between herself and them. If Olin shared her thoughts fully, he would see Rulek's place in them, and be hurt or saddened. He might wonder if she could ever feel as strongly for him.