Homesmind (14 page)
Authors: Pamela Sargent
"Ugh," Yvela said scornfully, catching a vague impression of Anra's thoughts. The young girl disdained any thought of boys as anything other than friends or playmates.
"You're supposed to be keeping your mind open to danger, not eavesdropping on me," Anra said.
"Well, keep your own mind open to it then, instead of thinking about all that stuff." Yvela made a face.
The moon had risen; there was no sign of movement on the plain. A wolf howled in the distance. The two stopped next to the shuttlecraft in the south field. Anra climbed into the craft, helped Yvela up, then gazed at the craft's panels. A quick scan of the plain confirmed what she already knew; no wanderers were nearby.
Yvela touched the panels and watched the map and its symbols flicker on the screen, then sat in one of the seats, bouncing a bit. Other symbols appeared on the screen, then a detailed image of the area to the south. A shuttlecraft was moving toward them; Luret and Wiland were returning.
The door opened and Anra hopped out, motioning to Yvela, who seemed unwilling to leave. The younger girl lingered in the doorway, taking one last look before climbing out.
Anra stiffened; her mental tendrils were sensing someone's pain. She opened her mind more fully. Only muffled sleepy thoughts were reaching her from the village; someone else was calling for help.
A dark shape hurtled over the land toward the girls; the returning shuttle hovered for a moment and then alighted on its runners. Marellon was running toward it, Viya and Gennon close behind him. As the craft's door opened, Anra saw a woman's silhouette outlined by the light; another shape was slumped next to her.
"Help me," Luret cried out.
Gennon and Viya reached for the slumping figure, lifting Wiland to the ground. They stretched him out near the runners as Luret jumped out and knelt next to him. Wiland's breathing was labored; his dark hair covered his eyes.
"What happened?" Marellon asked.
Luret was stroking Wiland's head, binding her thoughts to his as she tried to help her partner heal. Anra reached out with one strand, lending Luret some of her strength. She could now sense Wiland's pain; his mind was bruised, as if a hand had reached inside him and had tried to crush his brain.
—Wiland— Luret thought. He opened his mouth; a gurgling sound came out of his throat. —Do you know me? Say my name—
—Luret— his mind replied.
She looked up at the others. —He remembers me now, at least. I had to calm him all the way back. Many memories were taken from him. He's forgotten this journey— Luret's hands shook. —He could have been robbed of everything—
—He'll mend— Marellon thought firmly as he sat down next to his friend. —I'll help him now. He may remember later on—
"What happened?" Gennon asked aloud.
"We were attacked," Luret answered.
"Who attacked you?"
Luret sat back on her heels. "A village that summoned us. We were close enough to hear their call. They said they had a child, a solitary, to give us. I'd wanted to hear such a call—I knew if we brought a new child back that we would need an implant for her, and that the sky-dwellers would have to return to provide it." She was silent for a moment. "It was a trick. We should have been able to read their intentions, but we were so happy to have someone reach out again that we were careless, and they hid their real purpose well enough." She took a breath. "When we landed, they struck. I barely managed to get Wiland back inside the vessel. Had they waited and lured us to their huts, we wouldn't have escaped."
'Then you mustn't leave the village again," Gennon said. "It's too dangerous now."
"But what if others really do need our help?"
"It doesn't matter. You have to think of yourselves."
Luret wiped her brow with one arm, then leaned forward, hands on her knees. "I saw no watchfires outside the village."
"We have no watchfires now," Viya said.
"Then why are you out here?"
"We're guards," Yvela answered, sounding proud of the fact. "One band attacked us a while ago, and then another one a few days ago, but they beat them." She waved an arm at Anra and her friends. "Except one of them decided to stay here because he didn't want to fight and he likes Anra." Yvela wrinkled her nose. "He told us a lot of people are wandering around and they want to hurt us, so we have to guard the village now."
Wiland groaned; Marellon soothed him. "I've seen a few bands," Luret murmured. "Some would run from us and the others would warn us away. I thought they might only be hunters." She scowled. "So now we're threatened here. I should have known it would come. Other Earthfolk will need an outlet for their fear." She glanced at Yvela. "Hut why are you sending children out as guards?"
Yvela lifted her chin, looking affronted. "You can guess why," Anra answered. "You saw what the village was becoming when you left on this journey. It's worse now. We need everyone who's still clear-minded to be a guard, and the younger ones offered to help."
Luret stood up slowly. "You mean that the others can't even rouse themselves to help protect their lives and yours?"
"Some of them dream now." Anra bowed her head.
Luret gestured at Marellon. "When my partner is better, bring him to my parents' hut in the shuttle."
"I can bring him there now," Marellon said.
"No. I have thoughts to share with this cursed village first. Shield my partner from them." She began to stride toward the huts before Marellon could reply. Anra hesitated, then hurried after the woman; after a few moments, Gennon followed her.
Luret was silent as she walked, but Anra could sense the cold rage inside her. As they left the field and entered the village, Luret dropped her shield. Her anger rushed from her, flowing out to the village. People, awake now, ran to the doors of their huts. By the time they reached the public space, a small crowd had already gathered there. Leito leaned on her walking stick; next to her, Daiya held Chal, who was crying.
Luret strode to a table laden with bottles of wine; Jen and Ede, who lay under the table in a stupor, groaned and sat up. Luret suddenly swept the bottles from the table, spilling the wine on the ground.
—Awake, you wretches— she cried out. —Is this what you do while my partner and I roam the Earth? What if we had found some who were ready to join us and prepare for what must come? You make a mockery of everything we do—
Ede shook himself; Jen rubbed his eyes. —You cursed people. You can't even face the truth yourselves. How do you expect the rest of Earth to face it? Now even children have to guard you—
—Calm yourself, Luret— Leito said.
Luret turned to face her great-grandmother. —You're the oldest one of us— she responded. —And what have you done? I see your thoughts, Leito. You believe you'll die before you have to leave Earth, and a part of you is lost to despair. So you do nothing—
—What can we do?— a few people called out. Anra gazed at the crowd, seeing the pained, worn faces of those who had been dragged away from dreams.
—We can still call to the world of the skydwellers, can't we? We must tell them we need their help now. Others will come here to seek our deaths and we have no defense— Luret shook a fist. —Though I don't know why anyone would want to defend you cursed folk as you are. Clear your minds and commune with the sky-dwellers to decide what we should do, or I'll take the brave ones from this place and leave the rest of you to your dreams—
Daiya stepped forward. —Luret speaks the truth— she said. Still clutching Chal, she lifted him up in her arms. —Did we bring these children here only to drag them down with us?—
—We'll call to the skydweilers, then— Leito said wearily.
—I don't know what they can do for us. They have their own battles to fight—
—Then find out— Luret responded. —They may be able to give us advice, or may see a possible defense that we're blind to. But we have to make ourselves worthy of their help first— She walked over to Nenla and Kal and strode away from the public space with them.
The villagers began to drift off to their own huts. Jen pulled Ede up and wandered over to Areli, bowing his head; the stout woman led them both away.
Daiya came to Anra's side. "Perhaps you should stay with me tonight," she said.
Anra shook her head. "We still have to guard the village, and it's our turn." She gestured at Gennon.
"Then I'll stand guard with you. Chal can sleep in one of the vessels."
They left the public space together as Gennon walked off along another path. "I've neglected you, Anra," Daiya said. "Don't try to deny it. I brought you up and may have encouraged you to leave my hut too soon. I didn't know then what you might have to face."
"You did the right thing. If you hadn't, things would have been even harder for me now."
"Olin, the boy who joined us, came to see me today," Daiya said.
Anra was surprised. "He didn't tell me that."
"He wanted to meet me by himself. He shared a few of his thoughts about you, and I told him of Silla and Harel." She sighed. "I had hoped they would try to return to us now."
"Do you think the skydwellers can help us?" "I don't know. They might tell us only that there's no point in remaining here." Daiya glanced up at the two long fingers of light now visible in the sky. Another speck of light above them had grown larger; Anra could see it clearly for the first time. The stranger, she thought, fearing it even more.
EIGHT
The village called out to Homesmind.
—Help us—
—Our village is threatened—
— The rest of Earth may seek a battle with us—
—Have we been forgotten by the skydwellers?—
—Help us—
Anra lent her own voice to the chorus. At first, she was afraid that they would hear no answer.
Then Homesmind replied.
You are not forgotten. Help is on the way
. The Net trembled; Homesmind's voice was weak. How much of Its strength had It already lost?
The villagers waited. Even Leito had left her hut to join them in the meadow. The smaller children were restless, fidgeting and tugging at one another impatiently. Many of the older people had abandoned their various escapes for now, shamed by Luret's anger, but Anra was sure that the desire for dreams or a drunken oblivion was never far from their minds.
Dark specks appeared in the cloudless western sky. As the specks grew larger, Anra could make out the runners underneath them. She shaded her eyes, trying to count the shuttlecraft; there were at least a hundred, and possibly more.
Luret clasped her hands together; Wiland, seated next to her, stared ahead blankly. Geve was supporting his son with one arm; the older man gazed sorrowfully at the younger one. VViland had begun to heal, but his mind had been scarred, and his thoughts were weak. Jen, wearing a clean blue tunic, stood with Areli; the muscles under the old man's eyes twitched as he licked his lips nervously.
The vessels floated over the river. Twenty landed in the meadow as the others alighted around the village, enclosing it within a circle.
The doors of the shuttles nearest to the villagers opened. Lydee, dressed in her silver suit, stepped out. Reiho and Etey emerged from another. Jerod appeared, then Tuela and Chilon, along with a few other skydwellers Anra did not recognize. She glanced from one face to another, suddenly disappointed; Rulek was not with them.
Marellon called out a greeting. Daiya, clinging to Chal's hand, was about to step forward when Lydee held up an arm.
Leito stood, leaning on her stick. —Have you come to help us?— the old woman said.
—Yes— Lydee replied, but her answer seemed tentative.
—Others are here with you. Have the skydwellers found more courage than we have been able to?—
Lydee's face was stern. —Many still have not. Some have chosen death and others live in dreams. I have to tell you that. But we have some hope to give you now, if you choose to stay here. The Minds were built to serve you, and They can't turn from a call for help. They know you're now in greater danger than before and need protection. With Their aid, you can shield this village with an invisible wall. They'll give you as much power as They can spare, and Homesmind will do Its best to preserve Their Net—
—Once another wall stood around us— Areli said, —but it was our enemies who put it there, to imprison us. Now you're saying we should imprison ourselves—
—It's to protect you— Reiho said. Daiya was gazing at him intently, but he did not seem to see her. —You'll be able to pass through it if you wish; the Minds can provide a passage. But only those who want peace with you will be allowed to enter, since the Minds will be able to read their intentions—
—But what about distant villages?— Luret asked. —We can't reach out to them if we wall ourselves in—
—The Minds will try to tell others of the new world that awaits you— Reiho replied. —Perhaps some will be convinced. That is all They can do—
—But do They have enough strength to do that?— Leito said.
Reiho did not reply; Lydee was staring past the crowd. Shadowy shapes were forming near the skydwellers; blurred images of robed people began to appear. The ghostly forms wavered, as if they might fade at any moment.
/We shall help/ the Minds whispered. /Some of Us may not survive, for We need much of Our power now to keep from drifting. But We cannot save Ourselves only to abandon you. Some of Us will still live on to serve you/
The images flickered out. Anra's eyes stung; she swallowed, moved by the unhappy words.
—The Minds could have spoken to us Themselves— Leito said. —You didn't have to return to tell us this. Why did you come back? Are you going to stand with us now?—
—We can't stay— Lydee replied. —Our own people need us, and we have to save as many as we can. But we thought— She paused. —You can choose to leave Earth now. If you think remaining here will serve no useful purpose, you are free to go, as you always were—
—Do you think us such cowards?— Jen called out. His thoughts were wild and unrestrained; Anra was sure that the man's newfound courage was fueled by some of the wine that had once been his escape.
—Some may still find their way here— Luret said. — There are people in other villages who once lived among us, and maybe some of them will seek us out now— Her green eyes narrowed. —You could have sent the vessels without coming yourselves if you wanted to give us an escape. Why are you here, Lydee?—
—We came for the children— Lydee replied.
Daiya knelt next to Chal, drawing him close. —What do you mean?—
—The smallest children should return with us to our world. They're young enough to adapt to a new home and they'll be safer there. Here, you'd have to guard them, and they're too young to protect themselves—
—You said a wall can protect us—
—A wall can still fail. Would you risk them in a battle?—
—You want to steal them from us— Daiya protested.
—Don't be foolish, sister— Lydee said. —It's better this way. Surely it would ease you to know that they're safe with us. We want only the youngest. The older ones who can take care of themselves can stay here if they wish—
—I see— Leito said. —The end of our time on Earth is near. We had prayed to avoid it. I believed that a way would be found to keep the Minds here somehow and that in the end we wouldn't have to go to the sky. Now that you've come for our children, I can no longer deceive myself with that dream— Her words were clear and forceful; she was speaking for many of the villagers.
Lydee waved an arm at the shuttles surrounding the village. —We'll leave all those vessels with you. You'll need them when it's time to retreat. I'm sorry— She looked at Anra and her friends, as if expecting the young people to support her. Olin moved closer to Anra and took her arm.
Daiya suddenly strode forward. —Take him, then— She thrust Chal at Reiho, then turned and left before Reiho could speak to her. Anra watched as villagers filed forward; a few were weeping. Barla led her foster brother and sister to Jerod; Mila was handing little Naise to Etey. Children whimpered as they were lifted to the doors of the shuttles.
—If anyone else wants to leave— Leito said, —go now. I won't condemn you. We'll need clear, strong minds now, not the weak— No one moved, though Yvela and the children near her looked uncertain. Even those whose courage was wavering were clearly intending to stay, but Anra knew that they could always flee later when others would not notice and could not talk them out of running away.
Marellon spun around and walked quickly back toward the huts. Lydee took a step after him, looking as if she were about to call him back.
—Leave us now— Leito said. —We must build our wall—
—Farewell— Lydee murmured. The skydwellers entered their vessels and the shuttles lifted, humming as they soared toward the sky.
Leito tugged at the Net, drawing everyone in as she drew on the power of the Minds. A wind rose, rippling the grass and swaying the trees on the hill overlooking the meadow. The wall now forming around them was invisible, but Anra could sense it, and felt as though she was being locked inside herself with no power to reach out again.
Anra put out her hand. The invisible wall held, then flowed over her like a warm wave of water as she stepped through it. She took a few steps along the riverbank, then looked back at the huts. The wall would remain around the village as long as a few villagers kept their channels open to the Minds; Anra had taken her own turn at maintaining the wall earlier that day. She had felt the drain on the Minds. Their strength might fail sooner than the village expected.
The shuttles also stood in a circle around the huts, more than enough vessels to carry them away from Earth. She wondered what would frighten other Earthfolk more— the wall or the sight of so many alien craft. She sighed. Someone inside might be calling to her, telling her not to linger too long outside the wall's protection, but the wall would cut her off from the plea. She pulled in her mental tendrils, feeling as though she still carried the wall inside her.
They all should have left with the skydwellers, she thought. The reasons Leito and Luret and others had given for remaining had been surface thoughts. They only wanted to postpone the inevitable departure for as long as possible. Anra was beginning to think that, in the end, a few of the old ones would refuse to leave at all, whatever the consequences, even if it meant being solitary for the rest of their lives.
She sat down, watching the ducks feed among the reeds. She could now feel the thoughts of another; someone else had passed through the wall. She recognized the mind without turning; in a few moments, Olin's moccasined feet were at her side.
He sat down. "I spoke to Daiya earlier," he said. "She's hoping that your parents may return here now."
"They won't. My mother clings to old ways." She glanced at him. "You seem to like communing with my aunt. How much has she shown you?"
"She told me about how your parents left you here, and about her own life—how she was the first to meet the skydwellers and chose to share her life with one of them. Can't we mindspeak instead of talking this way? No one will hear our thoughts now."
"I'd rather speak this way."
"You're afraid to open your mind to me because you're afraid of what you might feel if you do."
She opened her mouth, about to deny it, then took a breath. "It's true," she said at last.
"But why? You know how I feel. If you didn't like me at all, I could understand why you hold back from me, but you hold back because you do have feelings for me."
"Giving in to certain feelings makes a person weak."
"Not if they're returned. The bond can make you stronger."
She wrapped her arms around her legs. "You're clever, Olin. You could probably argue me into believing whatever you'd like me to believe."
"I wish I could."
A few of the tame ducks the village had freed earlier swam toward the reeds. I he wild ducks squawked and flapped their wings, driving the tame birds away. "Did you want to leave with the skydwellers?" Anra asked.
"No. I wouldn't return the kindness you've shown me by running away." Olin was silent for a moment. "Why did you think I might?"
"Another boy who came to our village did. I found him in the desert beyond the mountains. We welcomed him, but he left anyway."
"I know a little of him—I saw it in the thoughts of your friends."
'The skydwellers feed him dreams." She had not meant to speak of Rulek; now she was afraid that she would not be able to stop speaking of him. 'They'll weaken him. He'd rather dream than live his life. What a cowardly fool he is."
"He's the one who keeps you from reaching out to me."
"You're touching my thoughts!" She was about to stand when Olin grabbed her arm.
"I'm not touching your thoughts, Anra. I guessed it from your words."
She rested her head on her knees. "Anyway, he means nothing to me now."
"Then why can't you forget him? I care about you, and I won't seek dreams." He paused. "Your friends Fiella and Paeter may soon make a pledge as partners. I'd gladly make such a pledge to you."
"It's too soon. Paeter and Fiella have known each other all their lives."
He touched her cheek, turning her face toward him. "We may have to fight soon. We won't have many chances like this to share our thoughts. If we open our minds fully to each other, we'll know all we have to know. You feel something for me already."
"Yes, I do," she said, forcing the words out. "But maybe it's only because he—" She could not say Rulek's name. "Because the other boy didn't return my feelings. Maybe I would have turned to anyone now who was kind and seemed to care. Maybe I'm afraid I might hurt you the way he hurt me."
Olin put his arms around her. She rested her head against his shoulder. "Instead of sharing your thoughts and letting your feelings flow freely, you hold them inside and pick at each and put it on a shelf so that you can stand apart from it. Is that what the skydwellers taught you? Anra, I won't ask you for a pledge—only for your companionship. I can at least give you some joy during whatever time we have. Maybe I'm also reaching out to you in part because of my own loneliness, since I have no one now, but does it matter?"
"Perhaps not."
"Then share your thoughts with me." He took off one of his strings of blue beads and put them around her neck.
She opened her mind. His warm thoughts flowed into her as their minds entwined. His thoughts were hers now, his light dissipating her shadows. They embraced.
