Homesmind (6 page)

—Grandfather— He held out the child to one of the old men. —Help us—

—I cannot. We must root out evil, as we destroy the disease in our bodies, or all of the village will die— The man turned away.

The Net suddenly broke. Rulek was cut off from the rest of the village; their minds were completely closed to him. He had been severed from the Net.

He fled. The silver one and her companions, he recalled, had said that they came from the west; he moved in that direction, wondering if the Minds could hear the call of one boy. He sent out weak tendrils and heard no answer.

At first, the baby he carried wailed; then she began to grow quiet. He left the forest where his people lived, crossing flat land. He caught a rabbit and tried to feed the baby some of its meat, but she choked and refused to swallow. She needed milk. He gave her water from a brook; it was not enough.

On the third day of his travels, he found a female goat with a kid; they had wandered from their herd. He managed to subdue the goat with his mind while the baby nursed at one udder.

By the fourth day, the baby was feverish and did not cry at all. He walked with her, holding her to his chest, willing himself on. The Minds had not answered him. He would lose his life, and his soul would be swallowed by eternal separateness. He tried to strengthen the child with his mind, but though he could shield her, she could not sense his thoughts and could draw no energy from him.

On the fifth day, she died.

Rulek carried the tiny body throughout the day and into the night, hardly aware of where he was until he came to the slope of a broad, barren hill. There, he buried his sister. He had wanted to save her and she had only suffered more than she would have if his father had taken her life; death had claimed her anyway. He refused to weep.

He began to climb the hill before him, moving toward the slopes beyond. Wyke was with him now, her straight hair as black as he remembered; her soul had returned, and she seemed to be guiding him. He glimpsed her out of the sides of his eyes, but whenever he looked directly at her, she would vanish among the rocks, hiding as she used to when they were children. Perhaps she was leading him to the Merged One, and he would be forgiven.

Rulek suddenly withdrew from Anra's mind. She blinked, trying to focus. The sun was only a little higher in the sky, yet she felt as though hours had passed.

"I wandered in those hills," Rulek said. "I don't know-how long I wandered—I didn't count the days. I drank from a spring under the rocks. I killed when I needed food, but I don't know what I ate. I told myself that I'd done an evil thing, that I wouldn't do the same thing again, that if Wyke had been alive to be my partner I wouldn't have tried to save my little sister. That was when I understood why Wyke had appeared to me. The Merged One had taken her from me, but I would be reunited with her in death if I repented. I knew that I had to leave the hills and enter the desert, where I would be purged and the sun would burn my sins out of me." He took a deep breath. "I went deep into the desert so that the hills would be far behind me and I would be too tired to turn back. Twice, my determination failed me, and I found water inside the prickly plants of the desert, but I knew I couldn't escape. When I saw these mountains in the distance, and the black birds circling overhead, I knew that I'd succeeded—I would die and be cleansed." He sighed. "Then you found me."

Rulek was stretched out in the cave, resting again. Anra sat on the ledge outside, thinking of what he had shown her.

The Minds had not reached out to help him. The boy believed that he had needed the strength of his village's Net to touch Them, but Anra knew that wasn't so and had hidden that fact from him. The Minds might have summoned Lydee; she could have reached him in her shuttle from any part of Earth. A Net added strength to one's mind, but someone alone could also communicate with the Minds.

Once, Earth's villages could speak to one another only through a village Net, one community's Merging Selves reaching out to another settlement. The Minds had slept in those days, but still their power had flowed out to the world that had forgotten Them.

But the Minds were awake now and could touch all minds not closed to Them. They should have heard Rulek's plea. Maybe They had chosen not to help him; perhaps They had also sensed his ambivalence, his longing for death. Perhaps his plea had been drowned out by others more urgent.

There was another possibility; the Minds might not have heard him at all until he was near the mountains. Rulek had sensed nothing in response to his call. She now recalled how the Minds had sounded when They had spoken to her the day before—distracted, uncertain, even unhappy. She shivered. Homesmind had said It would watch over Them, as if They might need tending.

She glanced at the boy. He was still asleep. She bit her lip and then opened her channel, wondering if the Minds were listening to her. —Homesmind— she called out.

Anra
, the calm, almost toneless voice answered.
I see that there is another with you.

—Yes— She paused, reflecting on what Rulek had told her, and sensed Homesmind stealing his story from her thoughts in order to add it to Its vast store of knowledge. —The Minds didn't help him. They didn't summon anyone or guide him to safety—

Homesmind was silent for a bit.
I did not speak of this before
, It said at last.
I haven't given the matter the consideration I should have, but I have been occupied with the new comet seeding and also with questions about a strange comet far from here. I know that Etey has mentioned that comet to you, so I'll say no more about it now.

The tone of Homesmind's voice had changed subtly; It almost sounded fearful. Anra wrapped her arms around her legs. What could frighten Homesmind?

You see, My channel to Earth's Minds narrows at times. Sometimes Their thoughts are hard to hear. I don't know what can be causing the difficulty. They've been silent before, in the past, and I thought that They might be withdrawing from Me again, but I am beginning to doubt that hypothesis. They seem to drift, and Their thoughts become indistinct.

Anra felt cold. She waited, but Earth's Minds, if They were listening, had chosen not to speak. —What could it be?—

I do not know. I haven't yet enough information to explain it. I shall turn more of My attention to this mystery. Have no fear.

She closed her channel, feeling somewhat reassured. Homesmind would surely find out what was the matter; she would try not to worry.

Rulek was waking; he rubbed his eyes and yawned. His mind, regaining its strength, was helping him to heal. His face was no longer peeling and his sunburn had faded a little, turning his skin brown.

She looked inside her sack. She had less than a skin of water left and only enough food for another day. She took out some food for Rulek, then handed him some wine.

—What will you do?— she asked.

—I don't know. I have no home now—

—I think you should come to our village. It was what you intended to do before—

He looked down. —Your village may not want me there—

—We've always hoped that others would come to us—

—Are you sure? The small ones you take in can adapt and be molded. Your people may fear me. I feared you long enough—

—I know that my aunt Daiya will welcome you— Anra said. —You two are alike in some ways. Daiya also confronted her parents when her sister Lydee was born a solitary. She gave Lydee to the skydwellers. But the village could not then accept the changes that had to come, so the skydwellers left Earth, and Daiya was exiled—

Rulek wiped his mouth on his sleeve, then handed her the wine.

—Daiya lived outside the village for fifteen cycles, allowed to enter it from time to time but unable to be part of it. She could have no partner and no children. Only after Lydee returned did Daiya again become part of the village. She'll understand you—

— There's a difference— he thought bitterly. —She saved her sister and her people finally took her back—

—But she was alone all that time. It was hard for her, but she came to accept the solitude, even to welcome it at times. But you don't have to be alone. The older people in my village have all suffered their share of pain. They wanted us to be spared much of it, and they would not turn away anyone who has endured what you have. You must come to the village. There's nowhere else you can go—

—Yes, I suppose I must—

She finished her meal. —Rulek, I must tell you something else, and I hope you can bear to hear it. I can't hide my thoughts from you forever—

—Very well—

—The Minds dwell here, under these mountains—

—I know that. I can sense Their nearness—

—This isn't Their only home, of course. There are Minds in other regions of Earth— She was trying to avoid what she had to tell him. —The Minds should have helped you, and I don't know why They didn't—

Rulek's eyes widened. "What would have prevented it?" he said out loud in a hoarse voice.

"They might not have heard you, but They've always been able to sense our thoughts. You were wrong when you believed that you needed your village's Net to reach Them."

"Then why didn't They hear me?"

"Something is wrong. Homesmind—the Mind of the skydwellers—says that It sometimes loses Their thoughts."

The boy leaned forward. "You're still hiding something from me."

"There's another possibility." She would have to say it quickly, or she'd be afraid to say it at all. "They might have sensed that you weren't completely open to Them."

Rulek's hands were shaking. "Then it's my fault. That's what you're saying. I let my sister die." He covered his face.

"No," she cried. "You mustn't blame yourself. You did all you could. Something went wrong."

His hands dropped. "I have to know. I want to see these Minds."

She stared at him. "But you can speak to Them now."

"Take me to Them."

"I've never seen Them myself."

Rulek tilted his head. "You mean that you've lived in a village not far from here and have never come here before?"

"I never felt the need. After all, I could touch Their thoughts from afar." She lowered her eyes. "Most of us have never traveled far from the village. Some are too old to travel, of course, and others are too young. Some villagers left us many cycles ago because they wanted to reach out and help other villages, so there aren't that many of us." She bit her lip. "Maybe more of us should have begun to travel before now. Those my age have been content to leave that to Lydee and her companions so far, and maybe we did so because we were as afraid of the rest of Earth as it seems to be of us. Perhaps we've been protected from too much. We told ourselves that our guardians would worry about us, or that other Earth-folk might see us as a threat, but maybe those were only excuses."

Rulek stood up. "I must see those Minds Who refused to help me."

They crept into the cave and walked through a dark corridor, unable to see. Anra sensed that the Minds were guiding her to Them; she waited, thinking that They might speak now, but heard nothing.

Her hands suddenly hit a wall; she ran her fingers over the smooth, metallic surface. The wall began to move as she stood back, then opened to reveal a large chamber.

They entered; the chamber's dim light became brighter, adding gold to Rulek's hair. "Look," she said, pointing. A gap separated part of the smooth, shiny floor from the wall opposite them. She walked toward the gap and gazed down a long, dark tunnel, hundreds of paces deep, understanding that it would lead them to the Minds. "That's where we have to go."

"Into the ground," Rulek said, sounding worried.

Taking a deep breath, she leaped into the tunnel and floated down, trying not to think of the rock surrounding her, hiding her from the sky. She covered her eyes, shielding them from the air currents as she fell. Just as she began to think she might fall endlessly, her feet touched ground; she let her arms fall as Rulek alighted next to her.

She was looking down a long hallway. The air around her seemed thick with veils of blue and violet; lights reminding her of fireflies twinkled in the air. She turned, seeing the same corridor stretching in the opposite direction.

She glanced at Rulek. He took her arm as they walked toward a railing circling a hole in the floor. Releasing her, the boy clutched the railing as they stared at what lay below. There stood the pillars, columns of gold and crystal; tiny lights flickered on their surfaces. Far below, she could see another railing and another level of pillars.

"The Minds," she whispered. They had been buried here for thousands of years, hidden from the eyes of Earthfolk, forgotten until the skydwellers returned.

/Greetings, young ones/ the Minds murmured; a blue veil fluttered. Anra reached out, but felt only air where the veil had appeared. She hooked her hands around the metal railing; the pillars had brightened, their lights flickering more rapidly.

—You didn't help me— Rulek responded. —I needed Your help. I had nowhere else to turn. Yet You did nothing—

/Did We not summon this girl to your side?/ Anra gripped the railing more tightly, afraid to speak.

—So You did, after the young one I carried was dead. Do You pay for one life with another?—

"Don't," Anra said to the boy, frightened by his anger.

—I have to know— Rulek continued.

/We did not hear you/

Anra's mouth was dry.

—How could You not hear me?— Rulek asked. —This girl tells me You can touch all of Earth. Do you think my grief will be less if You deceive me? I have to know the truth— The blue and violet veils were turning red; a wind was rising in the corridor. —My people think You may have been led astray, and want to lead us astray, too. Maybe they're right. I've been punished, there's nothing more You can do to me—

/Young one, We did not hear/ The voice was high and piercing; Anra covered her ears, still unable to escape the shrill sound. /Our mental strands weaken and break/ The circle in the floor was bright with light; the wind grew stronger. She held on to the railing as a gust struck her, nearly knocking her down. /We drift/