Honesty (3 page)

“Are you okay?” Shawn asked from a few
steps behind her. Alena was too embarrassed to turn around and look at him. She
wondered how much he had seen. When she refused to answer him, he stepped a
little closer to her. “Alena listen,” he spoke softly. “I'm sorry about what I
said yesterday. I didn't mean it,” he leaned his shoulder against the locker
beside her as she stared hard at the floor. “You deserve everything you could
ever dream of.”

Alena looked up at him, drawn by the warmth
of his words. When she met his eyes she was her heart fluttered just as it had
the night before when his image floated into her mind.

“Why would you say that?” she asked feeling
as if she was the most pathetic person on the face of the Earth.

“Because it's true Alena, you should never
let anyone treat you differently,” Shawn said quietly.

Alena bit into her bottom lip and stared up
at him with confusion. She had never had a guy speak so openly with her,
compliment her so freely.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she
asked as she recalled what she had said about him.

Shawn reached into the locker beside her,
and pulled out the white rose he had left there for her.

“I know you're not interested,” he said
carefully. “But you should know that I am.”

He handed her the rose, which she accepted
wordlessly and then walked off down the hall. Alena could only stare after him.

When Alena arrived at home that afternoon
she closed herself off in her room. She was heartbroken over Justin, and
confused about Shawn. She had just sat down on the edge of her bed when her
cell phone vibrated indicating that she had a text. She picked it up to see
that it was from Justin and looked down at the words printed across the screen.

“Meet me at the football field, ten pm,” it
said. She stared at the words for a long moment and then tossed her phone down
on her bed. She lay back across it and groaned. It was frustrating enough that
Justin had turned her down earlier, but now he wanted a secret late night
meeting? If she became any more confused she was sure that she would lose her
mind.

“Alena?” her mother called from outside her
bedroom door. “Someone's here to see you.”

Alena sat up on her bed and wondered who it
might be. She opened the door to find Shawn standing beside her mother.

“What are you doing here?” she asked with
surprise. Shawn blushed at her words. “Uh, our project?” he reminded her. Alena
had forgotten all about the poetry assignment.

“Oh right,” Alena mumbled. She stepped back
and opened the door all the way for him. “I'm sorry I forgot,” she added. Shawn
sat down in the computer chair in front of her desk and avoided looking
directly at her.

“We can make this quick,” he promised in a
distant tone.

Alena pulled out her notebook and sat down
on the edge of her bed. “I don't even know how to write poetry,” she sighed.

“Everyone knows how to write poetry,” Shawn
replied and pulled out his own notebook.

“Do you?” she asked curiously. She had
noticed how he was always scribbling in his notebook. Shawn shifted in the
chair until he was facing her.

“Yeah, I do,” he said openly. “I find it's
easier to express myself on paper,” he shrugged, expecting Alena to find that
to be a little strange.

“I wish I could do that,” she frowned as
she looked down at the blank page in her notebook. “Feelings get so jumbled up
inside, it's hard to sort them out.”

Shawn rolled a little closer to her in the
chair and tapped the blank paper.

“Just write them down,” he suggested. His
closeness left Alena feeling a little uncomfortable. She looked up at him
shyly.

“What if I don't know how to do that?” she
asked in a whisper. His deep green eyes locked to hers and his voice grew
heavier with emotion as he spoke.

“You do, you're just afraid to.”

Alena shook her head a little but she did
not look away from him. “I'm not afraid of anything,” she said defensively.
Shawn raised one blonde brow and tried to suppress a smirk as he continued to
hold her gaze.

“Nothing but being honest with yourself,
hm?”

Alena's eyes narrowed, her lashes
tightening until her light blue eyes were shadowed by them.

“Why do you act like that?” she demanded in
an irritated tone.

“Do what?” he asked, his voice still quiet.

“Act like you know me,” Alena replied, her
heartbeat speeding up as she studied the shift in his expression. His lips drew
tight for a moment, his eyes flicked away for just a second, before he looked
back at her.

“Don't I?” he asked. With only the length
of the blank notebook between them, neither had realized how they had both
leaned slowly forward to cross the distance.

“You don't know anything about me,” Alena
insisted, her heart racing even faster.

“I know you're kind, I know you don't like
to hurt others, and I know you hide how creative you are, because you don't
want others to think that you're weird,” he said all in one breath. Alena
parted her lips to protest, but he continued before she could. “I know that you
dream about the future, and take your grades seriously, and that you don't get
caught up in all the drama that most of the girls do. I know,” he canted his
head slightly to the side as his green eyes continued to stroke over hers.
“that you want more than some little football player pretending to think you're
great just so that he can get in your-”

“Shawn!” she said sharply, her cheeks
growing red with fury and embarrassment.

“What?” he asked as he rolled back slightly
in his chair. “Tell me I'm wrong,” he dared her.

Alena could not bring herself to speak. Everything
he had said was true, even the part about Justin. It was the reason she had
waited so long to try to kiss him. She wanted to be sure that he really liked
her, and that he wasn't just looking for a summer fling.

“And it didn't take me all summer to know
all that about you,” Shawn pointed out.

Alena felt a little exposed as she stared
down at the blank sheet of notebook paper. She had never had someone sum her up
so easily.

“How do you know all of that?” she asked
shyly.

“Because Alena,” he sat forward in the
chair again, but still left enough space between them that she would be
comfortable. “I wanted to know. I paid attention. I thought you were worth,
getting to know,” he said firmly.

Alena took his words to heart. He was illustrating
how Justin had ample opportunity to actually get to know her, but he hadn't
bothered.

“And now?” she asked hesitantly. “Now that
you know so much, was I worth getting to know?”

Shawn was silent as he swept his gaze
across her features. He could see how uncertain she was. He had always found it
interesting that she could be so beautiful and not even realize it.

“Does it matter?” he asked as he rolled the
chair back a few more inches.

“What do you mean?” she asked as she looked
over at him.

“I mean, does it matter what I think? All
that matters is what Justin thinks, right?” he smirked a little.

Alena pursed her lips and looked back down
at the notebook in her lap. “Let's just get this done,” she mumbled.

“Fine,” Shawn shrugged and sat back in the
chair. “My words for you are, Alena, and honesty.”

“What?” Alena looked up sharply. “I can't
write a poem about myself.”

“Why not?” he asked. “Are you afraid to
tell the truth about who you are?” his eyes lingered on hers.

“You know you don't know as much as you
think,” she snapped. “Maybe your words should be arrogant player.”

Shawn's eyes widened slightly at her words.
When he spoke his voice had lost all of its laid back tone.

“Is that what you think I'm doing here?” he
asked. “Playing a game with you?”

Alena realized she might have crossed a
line when she saw the anger flash through his eyes. He stood up and walked
across the room until he was right in front of where she sat on the bed. As she
looked up at him, he stared down at her, his jaw rippling with frustration. “I
mean what I say,” he said firmly. Then he leaned down just enough to catch her
upturned lips in a subtle, soft kiss.

Alena did not pull away. She was so shocked
she did not know how to react. But her lips decided for her, and responded to
the kiss with equal tenderness. When he pulled away from her, his expression
had softened and all of the anger had disappeared from his eyes.

“That's honesty,” he whispered as he
studied her. “I may not be what you think you should want Alena, but that can't
change how you really feel.”

Alena stared after him as he picked up his
book bag and headed out the door. Once Alena was alone she reached up and
lightly touched her lips. The memory of his caress was enough to make her heart
race. She had never even imagined kissing him, and yet once it had happened,
she could not stop thinking about it. Her phone buzzed to life on the bed next
to her. She picked it up and looked down at the new message.

“Don't forget 10pm,” Justin had texted her.

That night Alena was pacing back and forth
in her bedroom. It was nine forty five and she had to decide if she was going
to the football field or not. Her encounter with Shawn had been strange, and
intense, and wonderful, but it was also very confusing. As much as he insisted
that she was lying to herself, she was sure she was in love with Justin. It
didn't matter how he treated her, as long as she could be with him. Shawn was
sweet, and cute in his own way, but he was not Justin. Now Justin wanted to
have a secret meeting with her, and she was sure it was because he planned to
break up with Kristina. Even though she could not stop thinking about Shawn,
she decided that she could not skip out on Justin. She had to know what he wanted
to talk to her about. Besides, Shawn might have been wrong. Maybe Justin really
did care about her. Maybe he had gotten to know her and she just hadn't
noticed. She put on her jacket and slipped out the back door. As she walked to
the football field she noticed how bright the stars were in the sky. It was the
perfect night for romance. She was certain that Justin would declare his love
for her, and the next day they would walk into school holding hands. The
thought of it put a little bounce in her step. She pushed any thought of Shawn
right out of her mind. He does not know everything, she reminded herself. When
she arrived at the football field it was deserted. Alena glanced at her watch.
Nine fifty-five so she was a little early, she shrugged. She sat down on the
bottom bleacher and gazed up at the stars above her.

“Alena,” Justin said a moment later as he
walked up to her.

“Justin,” she smiled brightly as she met
his eyes. “Why did you want to meet me?” He looked so handsome with the
moonlight playing off of his light brown hair.

“I think you know,” he shrugged as he sat
down beside her.

“Do I?” she asked, feeling giddy with
anticipation. In her mind she imagined he was about to tell her how wrong he
had been, and that Kristina was the last person he wanted to be with.

“Come on, let's not play games about it,”
Justin said sternly. “This is 2013, we don't have to pretend like we don't have
feelings for each other.”

Okay, not exactly romantic, but still good,
Alena thought to herself. “I do have feelings for you,” she admitted, her eyes
shining as she smiled at him.