Honey and Leonard (16 page)

"Do I?" Luther asked. "Rest assured I'm only trying to make you feel comfortable."

"There you go again," Luther said.

"Oh, yes, I see what you mean," Luther chuckled. "Thank you for pointing that out. I'll have to work on mixing it up a bit."

"What flag do you fly on this ship?" Leonard asked.

"Why, the flag of the United States of America, of course. I was born and raised on a dairy farm in Minnesota. You and I have more in common than you might think."

"Your hand is pretty rough for a guy who lives on a fairy tale boat."

"Leonard," Honey scolded.

"No, no," Luther said, "I take no offense. I'm proud to say I do as much real work as anybody on board. Like I said, I was raised on a dairy farm."

"Milk those cows twice every day, come hell or high water," Leonard said, relaxing a bit. "We had cows growing up."

"We would be honored to join you for dinner, Mr. Patrick," Honey said, responding to his invitation.

"Please, call me Luther. And may I call you Honey and Leonard?"

"Please do," Honey cooed.

"That's what they call us in the papers," Leonard said. "To tell the truth, we've been shocked by all this attention. What did we do to get people like you following us all over France?"

"We're old and in love and on the run," Honey said.

"That sums it up nicely," Luther laughed. "Forgive my surveillance. To tell the truth, I thought about bringing you on board for your own safety. You've come close to being caught several times. Now, here you are, quite by accident. I assure you, you are free to leave at any time. You are strictly my honored guests. We were in the Mediterranean when your story began to take over the news. I come to you strictly out of curiosity and the desire to be of assistance. I heard about a farmer from the Midwest and his lady friend being called the Bonnie and Clyde of love. Who could resist a story like that?"

Honey and Leonard waited for him to continue.

"And may I say neither of you looks as old as I would have thought, particularly after your circumstances of this evening."

"Why, thank you, kind sir," Honey said. "Love is our elixir of youth."

"Well said," Luther commented as he and Leonard shared a sideways glance. "So please, join me for dinner. I cannot believe my good fortune. I've been wondering for quite some time if this moment would ever happen."

"Oh, do take us on a tour of this marvelous ship," Honey said. "I've never seen anything quite like it." She could tell Leonard did not like the attention she paid to Luther, but under the circumstances, what choice did they have but to graciously accept his hospitality?

A valet entered through the main door. Luther directed him, "Please turn on the television so we can catch up on the news regarding our guests before we head off for dinner."

The first thing they saw on the screen was a photo of themselves. This shot cut to a French newsman who was obviously speaking in the hushed tones of someone in mourning.

"What's he saying?" Leonard asked.

"He's saying the two of you are presumed dead by drowning off the dock in St. Tropez."

"Look how sad he looks," Honey said. "Isn't that touching? It makes me want to cry, and I know I'm not dead."

"It's not everyday you get to watch your own funeral on television," Leonard said.

Luther laughed and said, "Leonard, you and I are going to get along just fine."

"You know what? I think we just might do that," Leonard said. "We do owe you a debt of gratitude for fishing us out of the drink and bringing us onboard. I'd like to thank your man in person if that's possible."

"Yes, of course. Valet, please ask Mr. Maxwell to join us in the dining room."

"Shall I turn off the television, Mr. Patrick?"

Luther looked at Honey, who said, "Yes, I've seen quite enough. It's already starting to repeat itself. Please turn it off. I would have hoped they'd found a better photo of me by now. They keep using that one from the
Chicago Tribune
that makes me look so old. And I don't know why they always have to mention that I'm 77 years old."

"I wouldn't put you a day past 55," Luther said.

"Smart man," Leonard said.

The valet left and Leonard asked, "What can you tell me about this ship? It really is impressive."

"Well, let's see," Luther began. "It was designed by Maierform and built in 1984 by a company in Denmark. I had it secretly commissioned. It's basically the same boat as the one owned by the King of Saudi Arabia."

"Oh, so you're in the oil business?" Leonard asked.

"Among other things," Luther said. "Come, let's head for the dining room. It's at the other end of the ship. I'll give you a guided tour on the way."

Luther knew every inch of his ship and he loved sharing his hands-on relationship with it. He took them down to the engine room where one of his staff informed Honey and Leonard that
The Sinbad
had a top speed of 22 knots.

"How fast is that in miles per hour?" Leonard asked.

"A little more than 25 miles per hour," Luther answered.

As the tour continued on the way to the dining room, Luther got his first clues about Leonard's mental condition. Leonard asked about the boat's top speed at least four times in less than twenty minutes. He was tired and repeating himself. Luther shot a knowing glance at Honey.

"I think we'd better grab a quick bite to eat and get ourselves to bed," Honey said. "It's been a long day."

"I'll have my staff physician give you two a quick checkup after dinner," Luther said. "No doubt, he can provide whatever medications you may have left behind."

"You can do that?" Honey asked.

"We have a rather complete pharmacy on board," Luther said. "Let me know if you have trouble sleeping."

Honey and Leonard looked at each other in amazement over the scope of the amenities aboard
The Sinbad
. "Does the doctor live on the ship?" Leonard asked.

"Only when we're at sea, which is about one third of the time," Luther answered. "I and my mobile staff have living quarters in several locations around the world. We are the doctor's only patients. He'll take excellent care of you. I stole him from The Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. He has the resources of that entire facility at his beck and call."

The tour continued into the dining room, which was open air with glass walls near the stern of the ship. It was large enough to seat at least fifty people but only one large round table was set up with silver place settings and sparkling, crystal glassware on a blue linen tablecloth.

"What do you do if it rains?" Leonard asked.

"We have an automated, retractable roof," Luther said. "Would you like to see how it works?"

"Yes, I would," Leonard said.

Honey intervened, "That won't be necessary. The stars are too beautiful tonight. And look at the lights of St. Tropez. This could not be more perfect."

Waiters appeared. Soup and salad and bread were served and wine and bottled water were poured. Honey and Leonard dug into their food like they hadn't eaten in days.

"Isn't it funny how swimming makes you hungry," Honey observed.

"So does running from a mob and dodging the police," Leonard said.

"You two must be exhausted," Luther said as plates of steak and seafood and vegetables were set before them.

"We're having too much fun to be tired," Honey said. "And look, here's Mr. Maxwell."

"You've asked to see me, Mr. Patrick?"

"Yes, Michael. Glad you could join us. Our guests want to thank you for a job well done. So do I, as a matter of fact."

"Thank you, sir, but I must say, our guests did all the hard work."

Honey jumped up from the table and threw her arms around Michael Maxwell. "Oh, how I love that English accent. You must be related to James Bond. Thank you so much for saving us."

"You almost didn't let me," Maxwell said.

"I did try to jump back in the water," she explained to Luther. "But he was too quick for me. And then he had Leonard out of the water, and off we went before we really knew what was happening."

"Fine work, Maxwell. I've come to expect nothing less from you."

"Thank you, sir. And might I say to our guests that they are even more charming in person than in the press."

"Oh, my, what a perfect gentleman," Honey said.

"Won't you join us for dinner?" Leonard asked. "We've got enough food here for an army."

"No, thank you. I had my dinner earlier," Maxwell said to Leonard. "I really must be on my way." He then turned to Luther and asked, "Will that be all, Mr. Patrick?"

"Yes, but do report to me first thing tomorrow. We need to discuss our plans."

Maxwell left after Honey and Leonard thanked him again. Once he was gone, Leonard turned to Luther and asked, "What plans do you have for us?"

Luther frowned slightly and said, "To be honest, I don't have a plan, which is quite unusual for me. Let's all sleep on it and see what we come up with in the morning."

"I love a man with no plan," Honey laughed. "Particularly one who's not afraid to admit it."

"We'll come up with something," Luther said.

They finished the grand meal and got a quick check up with Luther's physician, Dr. John Laughlin. The doctor was able to provide Honey and Leonard's medications for heart and blood pressure and asthma.

It was after midnight before Luther showed them to their cabin, which was as large and elegant as a suite at the finest hotel. The bed was round and covered with pillows. "Shall I have it turned down for you?" Luther asked.

"Oh, no," Honey said. "We can manage."

Luther left, and Honey and Leonard chased each other around the bed, briefly, as they threw the pillows at each other. They were too tired to keep the slumber party action going for long. Once they figured out how to get under the covers and sheets, they snuggled each other like they had found the sacred womb of love.

Honey fell asleep immediately, but Leonard kept waking her up. He was convinced people were outside the windows, looking in on them. Honey got up again and again to reassure him. Eventually, she gave him two sleeping pills from the doctor so she could get some rest herself.

All night she dreamed of sailing on the sea with Leonard. They were the only two people aboard a very large boat with several sails. Honey kept asking him where he learned how to sail. Leonard kept insisting he had no idea how to sail a boat this size. Each of them became progressively more amazed as the ship made one masterful maneuver after another. Leonard finally concluded, "This ship is sailing itself. Just like life."

Honey awakened to that marvelous thought as morning light began streaming into their cabin. She let Leonard sleep as she explored the wonderful soaps and shampoos and lotions of the master bath.

Dr. Laughlin turned out to be extremely interested in Leonard's mental condition. He spent two hours with Leonard the next day before providing him with an experimental drug called donepezil hydrochloride. "This drug is going through trials," Dr. Laughlin said to Honey. "It's showing good results in treating the symptoms of early Alzheimer's disease. Let's try a moderate dose on Leonard and see how he does."

The doctor met with both Honey and Leonard to share his diagnosis that Leonard had Alzheimer's disease. "I know you already know that," Dr. Laughlin said. "I just don't want to give you false hope. This drug I've prescribed for Leonard is not a cure. In fact, I've got to swear you to secrecy because it's not even approved at this point. It has only showed signs of slowing the progression of the disease in its early stages."

"I know there's no cure," Leonard said. "And I know it won't do any good to worry about it. I'm just very grateful for your help, doctor."

"He is having visions of his mother," Honey said. "Occasionally, he forgets where he is and who I am. At first, I thought my love would cure him of all that, but I've been learning the hard way that love does not conquer all."

"Yes, it does, pumpkin. Your love has saved me."

"No, my sweetie, my love for you has saved me."

"The bad news," Dr. Laughlin said, "is that we don't know much about the disease. The good news is everybody's different. People have good and bad days. The chances are good that you and Leonard have a lot more good days ahead. Make sure to give him the sleeping medication every night around 9 p.m. Nighttime can be the worst. Or the best, if he's getting a good night's sleep."

"You seem very interested in this disease," Honey observed.

"I am," Dr. Laughlin said. "I lost my father to Alzheimer's last year after a ten year battle. It was the worst thing I've ever been through. My hero became somebody who didn't even know he was a human being. It almost killed my mother. The only comforting thing about it was knowing he wasn't suffering because he didn't know what was going on."

"I am so sorry," Honey said.

"Yes, it was hard, especially for my mother, who tried to take care of him herself for much too long."

"Am I hard on you, Honey?" Leonard asked.

"No, Leonard, you silly sweetie. My love for you is the best part of me. You keep me young at heart."

"Will you let me know when I get to be too much trouble?"

"We don't have to worry about that now, do we, doctor?"

"No, like I said, you two have many a fine day ahead."

Luther was so careful to protect their privacy that Honey and Leonard almost forgot they were still the subjects of international inquiry. News of their deaths had been largely replaced by Jack Crumbo's theory in
The Chicago Tribune
that they were alive and well and still on the run.

One night, back onboard
The Sinbad
, they saw Crumbo himself being interviewed on French television. Crumbo was saying, through an interpreter, that he had learned Honey and Leonard were excellent swimmers. "The fact that no bodies have been found leads me to believe they swam away and escaped in the confusion of the mob scene on the dock."

When the French reporter asked whether he had any evidence to show Honey and Leonard were still alive, Crumbo had to acknowledge he had nothing to go on but his own theories. The reporter asked, "Where did they go?" Crumbo could only answer, "We have no idea."

The reporter concluded the interview and gave the camera a smirk that said, "There you have it. Another American who doesn't know what he's talking about."

Honey turned to Leonard and Luther and said, "Oh, wouldn't it be fun to bring Jack Crumbo on board and give him the exclusive story of our survival?"

The two men, who had become good friends in a short time, laughed at the suggestion at first. Then Luther said, "You know, that might not be a bad idea."

"Better to let the world think we're dead," Leonard said.

"Unless you want to begin arguing your case in the press," Luther said.

"You mean the case that I'm not mentally gone yet?"

"No, the case that says you are mentally competent and that nobody ever tried to poison you. Dr. Laughlin has enough data to testify already. That's why he's been testing you everyday."

"Oh, my," Honey said. "You do think of everything."

"Not only that," Luther said. "My accountants have found that Leonard's niece, Gretchen, has been using some dangerously creative accounting with regard to Leonard's fortune."

"How could you know that?" Leonard asked.

"Remember those consent forms we had you sign?" Luther asked.

Leonard looked at Honey with a blank expression that said, "No, I do not remember any such thing."

Honey said, "Yes, we remember those forms."

"Those forms allowed us to access Leonard's accounts, and I'm sorry to report it's not a pretty picture."

"What do you mean?" Honey asked.

Luther looked sadly at Leonard before saying, "I'm sorry to say it looks like she's stolen quite a bit of money from you."

Luther's favorite line was, "Buying art is investing in your soul." He loved to say it as he was acquiring a new painting. And every time he said it he couldn't help but elaborate, "Everybody wants to know how to buy art that will increase in value. How to make art a good investment. I say it's the thrill of the hunt and the joy of being in the presence of great art that make it all worthwhile. Art is not like money. Money is objective. Art is subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Every society has money or some form of exchange. But each society has its own artistic identity. Art defines civilizations. Even the cavemen are celebrated by the drawings on their walls."

Honey loved his attitude and was determined to create a signature line of her own. It took some time and a little help from Leonard but she finally came up with, "No space is any better than the art within it."

"And that includes the space between your ears," Leonard added.

Many a struggling artist had his or her financial year made when Luther and Honey and Leonard strolled into town with their enthusiasm and wit and willingness to invest. Between the three of them, they bought at least twenty pieces per outing. Once each purchase was completed, Luther had Michael Maxwell and his car pick up the art and secure it.

Several artists recognized Honey and Leonard. They never said anything, but Luther could always tell when they'd been spotted. At that point, he took them aside and made them promise to keep the transaction a secret if they hoped for repeat sales.

"I knew you weren't dead," one painter said in English with a midwestern accent. "You couldn't be dead or they would have found your bodies. And now I can see you're alive. This is so far out. And, hey, I'm from Indiana too. I've been following your story since you landed in France. Way to go. Elderly couple from Indiana goes global in France. You guys are so
far out
. I can't believe you're actually in my studio. I've been painting in Italy for years and you're my first celebrity guests. How about signing my palette?"

"We can't sign anything for obvious reasons," Luther said. "But we do love your work. In fact, I would like to purchase the large painting of the harbor. How much is it?"

"It's $5,000, but I would be willing to give you a great deal."

"That won't be necessary," Luther said. "Will cash be acceptable? I have U.S. dollars."

"Yes. Yes, of course," the artist stammered. "I can't believe I'm selling a painting to Honey and Leonard. I suppose you want me to keep quiet about this?"

"That would be very much appreciated," Luther said.

"I'll take this one of the castle in the moonlight," Leonard said. "I love your purples. How much is it?"

"It's $3,500, but I would be happy to give it to you," the artist said.

"That won't be necessary," Luther said, peeling off more bills. "Your work is some of the best we've seen. It's funny to have the finest art in Italy coming from an Indiana painter."

"I tell everybody back in the states I'm an Italian painter," the artist said.

"I'll bet they eat that up," Leonard said.

"You bet they do."

Once the car picked up the art, Honey and Leonard and Luther continued exploring the town with the Indiana artist as their tour guide. They went straight to a corner bar where the artist proceeded to guzzle down half a bottle of wine, straight from the bottle, in celebration of his recent sales. Luther quickly moved the party to a back room to avoid making too much of a scene.

"What are you guys doing, just traveling around buying art and dodging the law?" the artist asked.

"You might say we enjoy collecting," Luther said.

"I almost feel decadent, buying all this art," Honey said.

"No need," Luther said. "We're supporting the art world. And guess what we'll do with it in the end?"

"Donate it to worthy causes," Leonard answered.

"Perfect," Honey said. "It's the circle of art."

Leonard and Luther were studying maps and drinking coffee one morning, planning their next adventure. Honey was getting her nails done in the ship salon. Luther said, "You know, I envy you two. Being with you makes me realize I need somebody in my life."

Leonard laughed, "Luther, I'd think a guy like you could get any woman he wanted."

"I could and I have, but that's not what I'm talking about."

"I hear what you're saying," Leonard said. "It can't be easy when they're all after your money. I'll tell you what. You'll never meet anybody sailing around in this boat. You've got to get out there and start helping people before you'll find someone to love."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, take Honey and me. We met at a Halloween fundraiser dance for the United Way. After my wife died, I was in a bad place until I decided to get out there and get involved in some good causes. That's how I found love, trying to help other people."

"That statement has the ring of truth to it," Luther said. "I do give tremendous amounts of money to several important causes."

"Are you bragging or complaining," Honey said as she breezed in from the salon.

"Luther, here, needs a woman in his life," Leonard said.

"You mean I'm not enough for the both of you?"

"Of course you are," Luther said. "But these past days have been such fun, you've made me see what's missing in my life. I thought I had it all until I met the two of you."

"Oh, my dear, dear boy," Honey said. "The girl of your dreams is already on her way. Don't you see? That's why you met the two of us. So you'll be ready when you meet her."

Luther looked at Honey like he was amazed he understood exactly what she was saying.

"Can you fly that thing?" Leonard asked one morning at breakfast.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I've heard you talking to the crew, and it sounds like you know about everything there is to know about that helicopter."

Luther paused before answering. There were many aspects of his life he had not revealed to Honey and Leonard. At this moment, however, he decided to let them in on a major part of his background. "Yes, not only can I fly it, but I could do most of the repairs by myself if I had to."

"When did you learn how to fly helicopters?" Leonard asked.

Honey thought Luther wasn't going to answer until he gave a solemn, one-word reply, "Vietnam."

Leonard was not surprised. He had already done the math. He knew Luther was born in 1948, which would have made him of military age during the war in Vietnam.

"I'm sorry," Honey said.

"No, don't be sorry," Luther said. "I learned a lot and I survived. Much of what I do today is a direct result of what I learned in Nam."

"What is it, exactly, that you do?" Leonard asked.

Luther sighed and took a long sip of coffee before answering, "Leonard, my good friend, we'll leave that conversation for another time. But, I'll tell you what. We can take that Black Hawk for a ride today. It's a lot more fun than the ones I flew in Vietnam. I know a great place to land near the most romantic little beach town you ever saw. What do you say? Are you in?"

"We're in," Leonard said.

"How long will we be gone?" Honey asked.

"As long as we want," Luther said. "We could fly to Switzerland if you'd like."

Honey and Leonard packed a quick beach bag and boarded the helicopter with all the enthusiasm of kids at the carnival. "I just took my first plane ride a few weeks ago," Leonard said. "Now, here's another first. I can't believe I'm going up in a chopper."