Honey and Leonard (19 page)

"Oh, so you're not just your everyday matchmaker?"

Lebeau frowned, afraid Honey was mocking her.

"Now, dear, I'm just teasing," Honey said. "But aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?"

"I'm in jail," Honey laughed as she pointed to her black and white jump suit. "It's tough to get married when you're in prison."

"You won't be in jail for long."

"What makes you so sure?"

"What have you done wrong, really? Was anybody killed? Was anybody robbed?"

"They are suggesting I tried to poison Leonard."

"That doesn't make sense," Lebeau said. "If you wanted his money, you would have gotten him to marry you and make a new will before you killed him."

"You really have thought this thing all the way through, haven't you?" Honey said.

Lebeau smiled, and Honey noticed for the first time what a beautiful young woman she was. "Oh, look at that smile. You look like Sophia Loren when you smile like that. You don't want to be an attorney. You need to be a model or an actress."

"No, I don't want to be another pretty face. When I grow up, I want to be just like you," Lebeau teased.

"Why would you want to be like me?"

"I want to be in love. Really in love. Not just caught up in the heat of the moment. I want to find the man of my dreams and run away from everything."

"Oh, my dear girl," Honey said. "Does my life look that romantic to you? Love isn't running away. Love doesn't solve your problems. Love is caring about someone else more than yourself."

"How does it feel to be with Leonard?"

Honey gathered her thoughts in the mirror before answering. For the first time, she realized these questions would be coming at her from a thousand different angles
.

I don't look half bad with the makeup on, even in my prison suit. But do I look like an expert on love?

Before leaving
The Sinbad
, she and Leonard had talked extensively with Luther Patrick and Dr. Laughlin about not giving interviews. "Number one, it will hurt your case," Luther had said. "And number two, we've got a book deal in the works for you."

"Claire, you don't have a man in your life, do you?" Honey tried to turn the conversational table.

"I thought I did."

"He cheated on you?"

"Of course. That's what men do, isn't it?"

"I'm so sorry. Did he break your heart?"

"Not really. He was never going to be my Leonard. I've never had that. I want to know what it's like to really be in love."

"All right, then. Let's answer the burning question. What is being in love? Let me begin by saying I am no expert. I can only testify from personal experience. I don't know where to start except to say that, being with Leonard, our whole is greater than the sum of our parts. There is goodness to the two of us being a couple that we could never achieve on our own. I felt that the first time we were together. We were made for each other. We completed each other.

"Being in love makes you feel like you're part of something bigger than yourself. It does sweep you off your feet. It sweeps you out of the room and out the door and down the street.

"It's fun being in love, but it's so much more than fun. It's uplifting. It makes you want to do the right thing. It makes you try to do things for the other person, things that will make you happy as a couple. I suppose that's why we left Indiana. Once you get to that place as a couple, nothing can keep you apart."

Lebeau stared at Honey in the mirror, waiting for her to continue.

"Let me digress a bit to say this," Honey explained. "It's taken me quite a while to figure this out, but now I think I can say it with some authority. Are you ready?"

Lebeau nodded for Honey to continue.

"Okay, then. Here it is. Life is a spiritual obstacle course, designed to see if you can get over your self.

"Each of us is trapped in a prison. A prison of self. Everywhere we turn, our eyes tell us we are the center of the universe. Everything we touch and taste and smell and hear tells us we are the epicenter. But we are not. We are part of a universe completely beyond our understanding.

"Being in love with another person is the best way to escape your selfish ways. Once you find the person who can make you forget about yourself, you are on your way."

Lebeau's mouth was slightly open in amazement. "Wow," she said. "You make it all sound so perfect."

Honey laughed, "Perfect? It's anything but perfect. You have to remember, there's a dark side to love."

"What do you mean?"

"The dark side of love is what makes you want to control the other person. The jealousy and the lack of patience and the wanting to make the other person into something he's not. There's a dark side of love that makes you afraid you're going to lose it. It makes you want to take command of the relationship. It makes you want to direct the movie instead of acting in it."

"So how do you keep from doing that?" Claire asked.

"You can't keep from doing it part of the time. You just try to do it as little as possible. You have to remember that you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you consume the other person with your need to control or direct, then the love is gone and you're left alone with your selfish self."

"Men have always tried to control me."

"I know you wouldn't let that happen."

"I know the right person is out there, somewhere," Claire said.

"So how do you find this person?" Honey asked rhetorically. "Here's the tricky part. You don't find the person until you stop looking. Stop looking for someone to make you happy, or fulfill your sexual fantasies, or provide for you, or make you laugh. Stop looking for Prince Charming. He won't appear until you're ready to get over your self and love unselfishly.

"He might be an old man with a bad memory and a lot of legal baggage. But you take what you get and you've got to be happy with what you got. That's what Leonard says. 'Be happy with what you got.' Which reminds me, when can I see my precious boy?"

Lebeau stared into her own reflection. She had not heard Honey's question. She was still trying to wrap her head around what had just been said.

"Claire? Did you hear me?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, I heard you. I did not understand it completely but I heard you loud and clear. Especially the part about not looking for Prince Charming."

"What about the part where I asked about seeing my Leonard again?"

"Oh, yes. I'm so sorry. There I was, thinking of myself again."

"Well?"

"We'll see what we can do, but I'm afraid that's going to be a problem."

"What do you mean?"

"The problem is that you are a prisoner for transport, in transition, if you will. Technically, there is no visitation for prisoners en route to another location."

"But you'll see what you can do?

"I'll see what I can do."

"How about you help me escape?"

Honey thought she saw a flash of conspiratorial recognition in Claire's eyes as she said the word 'escape.' But the police officer quickly lowered her eyes and said, "You wouldn't want to get us both into trouble would you?"

He blamed himself for letting Honey talk him into visiting the Eiffel Tower. Luther Patrick had arranged a private flight to Indianapolis, but Honey wasn't about to leave Paris without going to the top of the Tower with her sweetie.

All the progress Leonard seemed to have made on the experimental memory drug was forgotten as quickly as a dream once his grief took over. He was lost without Honey. No one could make him understand where she had gone or why he couldn't go see her. He slipped into a depression much deeper than the one that had consumed him after his wife's death. He didn't say one word to Maxwell on the helicopter ride back to
The Sinbad
. He wouldn't even look at Luther once they landed.

"Worse than I could have imagined," Maxwell said. "The first day he was mainly angry. I had to muscle him out of the hospital. He made quite a scene. Then, he didn't want to stay in the hotel. I couldn't let him out. Reporters surrounded the place. He was in no shape to make a public statement. He kept saying they were going to kill her in the hospital and that he was the only one who could save her because he had done it before. I gave him a couple sleeping pills and he slept for fourteen hours. I heard him talking to his mother in his sleep on several occasions. When he awakened, he demanded to go see Honey. I tried to make arrangements, but it was impossible. The hospital has her under complete lockdown. He hasn't spoken to me since I told him we couldn't go see her."

"Honey has a Paris police liaison named Claire Lebeau assigned to her," Luther said. "Lebeau volunteered for the job. She's a big Honey and Leonard fan. We might be able to get to her. Honey's probably got her on our side by now."

"Would you help Honey escape?"

"I thought about it, but then realized the best thing we can do is let the French police and the F.B.I. transport her back to the States as soon as possible."

"How long will that take? What are we going to do about Leonard in the meantime? What happens once they go back to Indiana?"

Luther looked at Maxwell like a patient professor looks at a student and said, "That's a lot of questions all in a row, Mr. Maxwell."

Maxwell stiffened into his apology, "I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid I've gotten too personally involved with Honey and Leonard."

"No need to apologize, Mr. Maxwell. It seems the whole world has gotten too personally involved. But let me answer your questions. First of all, Honey should be back in Indiana in less than one week. Our sources tell us she is in fine health. At least she's not in prison. The hospital is a much better place to stay. Secondly, Leonard should do much better once we tell him Honey will have a $100,000 bond set for her by the Indiana criminal judge. The prosecutor there has already agreed to it. I've made arrangements to post the entire amount in cash. That way we'll get it all back once the proceedings are concluded."

"What about Leonard's competency hearing? I wouldn't bet on him doing too well at this point."

"Hopefully, he'll get better once he realizes he'll be reunited with Honey in the near future."

"What about the no-contact order in the guardianship proceeding?"

"We're working on that as well," Luther said.

"Very good, sir."

"Have you seen Jack Crumbo on the news?"

"Not really."

"Whatever
The
 
Chicago Tribune
is paying him isn't enough," Luther said. "Here, let's turn on the video. I've had a tape made of all his interviews."

Luther and Maxwell watched Crumbo on video for nearly half an hour. He was talking to what seemed like every news source on the planet. The reporter had dropped all pretense of impartiality. He was openly arguing against Honey's arrest and deportation.

"What it is," Crumbo said, "is ridiculous. The no-contact order was issued on the basis that Honey tried to poison Leonard. That point has been soundly refuted. The arsenic in Leonard's blood was from a lifetime of being around pesticides as a farmer, not something Honey did to him. And the guardianship petition is unnecessary because Leonard is clearly competent. What you've got is a bogus charge, leading to a bogus petition, followed by a bogus no-contact order. The whole thing should be dropped."

"He likes that word, 'bogus,' doesn't he?" Maxwell observed.

"I'm telling you, I get a kick out of Jack Crumbo. The guy is down to earth. Ever since he came on board to interview Honey and Leonard, I've been following him closely. The man tells it like it is. I could use a man like that."

Dr. Laughlin walked into the room, looking grave.

"What is it, Doctor?" Luther asked.

"He's in shock. He's not making any sense. He's grieving like Honey has died, and there's nothing I can say to make him believe she's going to be fine."

"What can you do for him?" Luther asked.

The doctor hesitated, watching the Crumbo tape until Maxwell turned it off at Luther's direction.

"What can we do?" Luther repeated.

"The very best thing we can do is get him back together with Honey as soon as possible. The grief seems to be aggravating the Alzheimer's in a way that is very problematic. He has become an excellent candidate for having a stroke. His blood pressure is elevated dangerously and his breathing is labored. We might be looking at heart trouble if we don't act quickly. The man is in physical danger. His mind is writing checks that his body can't cash."

Luther looked to Maxwell for suggestions.

"I can get him into the hospital," Maxwell said, "if you can enlist the support of Officer Claire Lebeau and her superiors."

Luther looked at Maxwell and then at the doctor before saying, "I'll handle the Lebeau angle myself. Gentlemen, pack your bags. The three of us are taking Leonard back to Paris. We're going to break Honey out of jail."

Leonard walked in and swept her up into his arms without saying a word. He lifted her off her feet and squeezed her so tightly it took her breath away. When he backed off the hug to kiss her, Honey could see tears rolling down his face.

"Leonard. I can't believe it's you. How did you get in? As if I didn't know. Look at you, you're crying," she said wiping away her own tears of joy.

Leonard squeezed her again and then let her go. "Let me look at you."

"Don't you dare," Honey said. "They've got me in this horrible black and white thing. Did you come to break me out?"

"I don't know, pumpkin. I'm not sure what we're doing. They just let me in for a short time to make sure you're okay." He hugged her again, "You don't know how much I've missed you. Or, maybe you do. I'm afraid I've been a little out of sorts since they took you away. I honestly thought you might not make it. And, let me tell you, if you don't make it, I don't want to make it either."

Honey kissed him and held him at arm's length, "Now, Leonard, don't talk like that. Everything's going to be fine. Claire tells me this is only temporary. I should be out of here in a jiffy."

"Listen to you, trying to make me feel better. I'm the one who should be making
you
feel better. You're the one who's in jail. How is it in here? And who's this Claire I keep hearing about?"

"She's my new French friend. Actually, she's my private warden."

"I figured you'd have the guards in the palm of your hand by now."

"She's a dear, young lady. But you know what I've learned from talking to her?"

"What?"

"The whole world now regards us as experts on love. Once we go public, people are going to be asking us about love and what it's like to be in love and how do you find love?"

"Don't worry about that. Luther's already got us a literary agent. All we have to do is keep our mouths shut for now. Meanwhile, give me another hug. I can't get enough of you."

"I've got a private shower," Honey teased. "And it looks like Claire has decided to leave us alone for awhile."

Leonard's eyes lit up and his mouth fell open. He looked like a man who just realized he'd died and gone to heaven.

"You smell so good," Leonard said. "I'd guess you just had your morning shower."

"That doesn't mean I can't take another one with you," Honey purred. "How long do we have?"

"They said they'll check back in half an hour," Leonard said.

Honey wrapped her arms around him and grabbed his behind, "Ooh, then it looks like it's time for prison sex."

"Never in my wildest dreams," Leonard said as they went into the bathroom and undressed each other quickly. Honey threw her prison outfit over the camera and turned out the light. "Oh, my goodness," she murmured as she gently squeezed his manhood. "You feel like the Eiffel Tower."

After the shower, they tenderly dried each other off and crawled into Honey's bed for a quick cuddle. "Now, this is what I call a conjugal visit," Leonard said.

"You know, sweetie," Honey said. "I've been thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"About us."

"Uh, oh," Leonard said. "Sounds like trouble."

"What would you think about getting married?"

"If that's a proposal, I accept," Leonard said.

"Just like that?"

"No, not just like that," Leonard said. "We usually don't talk much before we rush off to save the world. But this time I do have something to say."

With that, he got out of bed, naked, cleared his throat and got down on one knee. "You'd better sit up for this."

Honey sat up, covering herself with a sheet, and threw her legs over the side of the bed. Leonard took her hands into his and said, "Honey Waldrop, you are the love of my life. Without you I am nothing. I've realized that in these last couple of days. I never want to live without you again. That's why I'm asking this question: Honey Waldrop, will you marry me?"

"Leonard Atkins, yes, I will marry you."

Leonard grinned broadly, then groaned as he got up from his kneeling position. "You've just made me the happiest man on Earth."

"You don't sound so happy, groaning to get off the floor. But, sweetie, you can turn a prison cell into the honeymoon suite at the Ritz. When will we have the ceremony? And where?"

"Let's do it right here in the hospital, as soon as possible."

"Oh, Leonard, you are so impetuous. Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?"

"You're not supposed to be here. I'm sure you're breaking several laws at this very moment. By the way, how did you get in?"

Leonard looked at her blankly. He had clearly forgotten the details of his arrival. Before he had time to be embarrassed by his memory lapse, there was a knock on the door.

Officer Lebeau poked her head in and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt you lovebirds, but I'm afraid I have to ask Leonard to leave right away. The doctor is on his way to check up on Honey. You two better get dressed."

No sooner had they gotten dressed, than Michael Maxwell appeared in the room and whisked Leonard out the door.

"Hello and goodbye, Honey," Maxwell said as he was leaving. "I'll have you back with him in no time."

He did not notice that Leonard was not wearing his shoes.

Officer Lebeau saw the shoes and kicked them under the bed as the doctor walked into the open door, studying his charts.

"So, you are the famous Honey Waldrop," the doctor said, checking her pulse and looking her over. "It's good to see you up and looking well. I've been in touch with your heart specialist, Dr. Laughlin, from the Mayo Clinic in the United States. After reviewing your medical history and checking you out today, I believe we will be able to release you from our care."

"So I can get out of here?" Honey asked.

"Medically, you will be discharged, but I understand there are legal considerations over which we have no control."

"So, you are saying I am cleared to travel back to Indiana?"

"That is correct."

"Then I guess we'll call this good news."

"Yes, and might I say that my wife and I are big fans of you and Leonard. In fact, she made me promise to introduce her to you." The doctor's crisp professionalism had turned into an awkward, awestruck admiration.

"Why, doctor, I would be honored to meet your wife. Under the circumstances, however, that might prove difficult."

"Well, actually, she's waiting in the hall if you would be kind enough to make yourself available."

"Of course; I would be delighted."

The doctor's wife spoke very little English but she was obviously thrilled to be in Honey's company. She spoke excitedly and at some length about what a dream come true it was to finally meet the woman she'd been reading about and admiring for the last several weeks. Honey nodded graciously, although she did not understand much of what the woman was saying. The doctor's wife handed Honey a pen and a blank piece of paper, obviously looking for an autograph. Honey obliged and wrote in large letters, "Jacques loves Marie," surrounded by a heart with an arrow through it. Beneath the heart she signed, "Honey and Leonard." The doctor and his wife thanked Honey profusely and then grabbed her for a three-way hug. It was obviously a photographic moment, but no camera was available. The doctor left with his wife, arm in arm.

Once they were alone again, Honey looked at officer Lebeau and said, "Oh, my goodness, I've become the patron saint of couples everywhere."

"Especially couples who might be wondering if love is something that might not last," Lebeau observed. "That was perfect, surrounding their names with a heart and signing it 'Honey and Leonard.' That should be your trademark autograph."